Chapter 12—Bender

Brick drove his car with expert efficiency toward the SHAC. He might as well have been invisible for all the attention anyone paid him. The two females in his life were mad at him. Neither one spoke as they headed to the family skate.

Family?

Sheesh.

They weren’t a family.

Amelia’s attitude toward him since last night was downright frosty, nothing like the heat they’d generated on his deck several hours ago. He’d had a boner that wouldn’t quit since early this morning after she’d expertly cut him off and left him wanting.

Wanting? Hell, needing. To the depths of his soul he’d needed her.

He’d finally taken a shower and seen to his own needs, but it’d been her hands he’d imagined running over his body and pumping his cock, and those hands had been a sorry replacement for the fuming woman currently sitting next to him.

God, she was sexy as hell when she was in a murderous state. Irritation radiated off her in waves, and he didn’t blame her one damn bit. He’d screwed up and been a douche of the highest degree, starting with standing them up to party with the guys, failing to mention the family skate, the late hour he’d arrived home, and his attempted seduction. Yeah, he was in deep shit, and groveling would be required if he honestly cared whether or not he found his way back into her good graces.

Then there was Macy. He’d been a dickhead, and he hadn’t enjoyed dissing her for his buddies. He’d been off all night because of it and drunk too much to lessen the guilt, and was now paying for it with a throbbing headache and weary body.

He wasn’t even sure his little girl liked him, and last night hadn’t won him any points, but he was determined to gain back a few this afternoon.

Rush sat in the backseat with Macy, joking with her and teaching her some Russian. The attention Rush lavished on Macy annoyed Brick, along with Macy’s obvious affection for Rush.

“You’d better not be teaching her any cuss words,” Brick warned, then winced when he realized he sounded like his father.

“You won’t know,” Rush shot back with a laugh. Macy giggled and said something in a crappy Russian accent.

“Ignorance is bliss.” Brick decided not to ask what she’d said. He parked in the parking garage, and his entourage followed him into the bowels of the SHAC, where they’d find skates for the girls.

Rush entertained them every step of the way, and Brick’s frustration grew exponentially when Amelia or Macy laughed at one of Rush’s lame jokes.

Brick impatiently jerked on Rush’s arm. “Ladies, we’ll be right back. We need to retrieve our skates. In the meantime, Hal, our equipment guy, can help you find skates.”

“We’ll be right here.” Amelia smiled smugly at him, as if she knew something he didn’t. He hated being left out of some private joke, but at least she’d spoken to him. That counted for something.

Macy grinned and giggled. “Do they have pink skates?”

“Honey, I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for white or black, but I’m sure your dad will buy you a pair if you want to keep skating,” he heard Amelia say.

“He’s not my dad,” Macy denied coldly. “At least, he doesn’t want to be.”

Brick froze with his hand on the nearby locker room door. Rush pushed past him, but not before shooting an accusing glare in his direction. Brick felt lower than an earthworm in a stinky manure pile.

Brick lingered in the locker room until he didn’t have an excuse to be in there any longer. He stared around the empty space where he’d spent so many days joking with his teammates. Yet there was more to life than hockey and sex. He wouldn’t have thought that a month ago. But he thought it now. Macy’s words sliced through his devil-may-care attitude and gouged deep into his heart.

He doesn’t want to be.

Even after he’d gotten the DNA test back, he continued to fight being a father. She deserved better than him. Any kid would. He sucked as father material, as he thought he would. He didn’t know how to fix it, and that bothered him.

With a sigh, and wishing he were anywhere else, he heaved himself to his feet and walked stiffly on his skates to the ice. Macy sat on a bench near the gate, looking lost and scared. Hugging herself, she watched the other skaters with envy and a profound sadness. Brick’s chest tightened and he winced. She avoided his gaze. With a heavy heart, he approached her.

He would put a smile on her face or die trying. She was his daughter, and she’d take to the ice the way a salmon attacks the fish ladders.

Hearing hearty male laughter, he shifted his gaze to the ice. Amelia was clinging to Rush as he tried to help her skate. They were both giggling like teenagers. It was fucking disgusting. Brick bristled, more annoyed than ever for reasons he refused to dissect.

Matt skated by with his two boys. The boys skated as if they’d been born on the ice, and most likely they had.

“Hey, get out here,” Matt shouted as the trio zipped past.

Brick took a deep breath and steeled himself. Teaching a little girl to skate wasn’t his idea of good time, but he’d make the best of it. He knelt before Macy and checked her skates. They were tight, so someone else must’ve already helped her.

“Ready?” He stood and smiled down at her, holding out his hand.

“Yes,” she said, all shy again. She took his hand, clenching it tightly, and he helped her to her feet. Her hand felt so small and delicate in his. He looked down at her in wonder, trying to see a piece of him in her. She was a beautiful little girl, which she probably got from her mother. Then again, he saw glimpses of his sister in her sometimes-sassy smile.

He led her slowly onto the ice and gave her some preliminary instruction. She stared up at him, her expression oddly blank. At least she wasn’t afraid.

“I’ll keep you from falling,” he promised. He turned to face her, took her hands, and began to skate backward, towing her along. She slid her skates along the ice, surprisingly steady on her feet. Maybe she was a natural after all.

“You’re doing great.”

She nodded grimly. “Do we have to do this?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He forced a smile to mask his disappointment. No child of his should be a quitter. He never had been. Maybe he avoided the tough stuff off the ice, but he never quit on the ice.

“I don’t. It’s boring.” She stuck out that lower lip and copped her princess attitude. He didn’t know her well enough to call her on it. At some point he’d have to step up and behave like a father, doling out discipline when needed, but he wasn’t ready for that step yet.

“What would you like—” Before he could finish his sentence, she wrenched her hands from his with surprising strength, did an impressive one-eighty, and skated off, streaking across the ice with an impressive combination of speed and grace. He glided behind her in absolute stupefaction.

She flew to the end of the arena with her dark hair streaming behind her like a silky flag. A huge smile of sheer joy lit up her face. Brick skated a slow circle in the center of the rink as he kept his eyes glued on her.

Holy fucking crap.

Macy could skate. Really, really skate. She glided along the ice, conquering it like a little Olympic champion, turning, twirling, sprinting. She built up steam and executed a bobbly but clean jump with a single spin.

One by one his teammates and their families slowed to watch her. A cheer rose from her audience as she lifted one leg in the air, holding it close to her chest, and skated on the other. She skated for the pure joy of skating. He could see it in her sparkling eyes as she owned the ice and the hearts of everyone there. Even him.

Especially him.

His chest swelled with pride. She was a chip off the old block. Emotion welled inside him, constricting his lungs and cutting off his ability to breathe. He rubbed his eyes, fearing he might do something horrific such as shed a tear or two.

In that moment, he lost his heart and was pretty sure he’d never get it back. She didn’t just own the ice, she owned him.

Macy came to an abrupt stop in front of him, raining ice across the toes of his skates.

She lifted her chin and planted her hands on her hips. With a joyous giggle, she met his gaze. “Did I do good?”

“Oh, honey, you did great. Why didn’t you tell me you could skate?”

“You never asked,” she shot back with unabashed courage. He liked that. She was his girl.

“Who taught you to skate like that?”

Her entire demeanor changed, as if someone had dimmed a bright light. Her body sagged slightly, and her eyes dulled. She looked down at her skates, kicking at the ice with the front of her blade. “My mommy.”

Brick reached out and touched her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Maybe you could teach Amelia. She could use some help.”

Macy raised her head, straightening a little. “She’s really awful.” A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Sad moment averted.

“Yeah, she is.” Brick gave himself a mental pat on the back. Maybe he wasn’t crappy at this parenting thing after all. His gaze slid to Amelia. She lurched past them towed by Rush, slipped, and got her skates tangled with his. They both went down. Rush tried to help Amelia up, and she slipped again, taking his feet out from under him. He landed on his ass, and Amelia landed on top of him to the hoots of their teammates. Brick threw back his head and laughed. Served the bastard right.

Rush wouldn’t live down being taken out by a woman anytime soon.

“I could try to teach her.”

He smirked at the doubt in Macy’s voice. Brick grinned down at her. Someone had cranked the music to a faster tune and dimmed the lights for a couples skate, led by team owner Ethan Parker and his wife, Lauren.

Brick bowed deeply and held out his hand. “Princess Macy, would you grant this humble knight the honor of skating with him?”

She regarded him with the utmost seriousness, as if she were considering buying a car and was kicking the tires. “Okay. If you promise not to fall and make me look bad.” She flickered her gaze to Amelia and back.

“I’ll do my best.”

She nodded solemnly at him, still sizing him up. “Are you sure?”

“Honey, I skate for a living.”

“I know. That’s how you met my mommy.”

The blood froze in his veins. “I met her skating?”

Macy nodded, sucking her lower lip into her mouth. The image of a beautiful, dark-haired girl with huge brown eyes flashed before him, hitting him harder than a puck to an unpadded gut.

Fuck.

The memories flooded back, each one more vivid than the next. She’d had the same big eyes and sweet yet naughty smile as Macy. She’d been a figure skater. He’d met her while skating at a rink near his Vancouver home years ago. He’d been so impressed that he’d asked her to skate. They’d skated all night, and then he’d asked her out for the next night. He’d intended to take her to dinner. Instead, they’d steamed up the windows of his old car while parked near some abandoned warehouse. It’d been a night of crazy, down-and-dirty sex, and she’d proven as limber and adventurous as he was. At one point, they’d had a condom failure, but he’d put it out of his mind until now. He’d never seen her again. He’d meant to call her, but life intervened, along with more women, and he never gave her another thought. What the hell was her name?

While he was partying it up, she carried his child and raised her. She’d never contacted him and asked for a penny, yet she’d taught their daughter to skate, most likely because she loved to skate and nothing to do with him.

Had she followed his career? Had she known he’d gone on to the NHL and was pulling in millions a year? She must have. Why hadn’t she contacted him? Asked for some help? He’d have gladly offered financial assistance. He was consumed by an overwhelming urge to know what happened to her.

But not now. He’d find out later.

For now, he had a lot of lost time to make up.

He was a dickhead. A douche bag. A selfish, irresponsible asshole who partied his way through life never considering the consequences his actions had on others.

“Are we going to skate or what?” She’d copped another attitude with him, reminding him of his sister and bringing a slow smile to his face. She was a Bricker, all right.

“Yes, we are.” He took her hand, and they weaved in and out of the other skaters. His teammates grinned at him, some giving him the thumbs-up, others nodding. Ethan and Lauren beamed as if he’d made their day. The publicity staff followed them with cameras, and Brick knew this would be on the Sockeyes’ website within hours. He usually craved media attention. Today, not so much. This moment seemed too personal to be shared with the public and used to further the team’s community agenda.

They skated around the rink a few times, even trying a spin or two until Rush cut in. “My turn. You get her.” He pointed at Amelia, who was clinging to the boards as if her life depended on it.

Brick grimaced. Macy grinned with devilish innocence. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, honey, I’ll need it.” In a moment of spontaneity, he bent down and kissed his daughter’s cheek. “Take it easy on Rush. He’s had a rough day.”

She giggled, and he relinquished his daughter to Rush.

With a grin on his face, Brick skated over to Amelia.

Too bad he hadn’t worn his goalie pads. He might need them.

 

* * * *

 

Amelia managed to crawl along the side of the boards to the opening and plunked her bruised butt down on the nearest bench, grateful to be on a non-slippery surface once again. She’d just gained a new respect for hockey players and the skill it took to do the things they did while skating around an icy surface on thin blades. Their abilities defied logic, or perhaps, just her own lack of athletic talent.

Her heart kicked up a notch as Brick headed her way. He wore a T-shirt and jeans, looking hot as usual. His happy grin made him sexier than hell. Watching him skate with Macy soothed her aching body. They’d looked so natural together. For once, Brick hadn’t been awkward around his daughter, and Macy had appeared to warm up to him. He still had a long way to go, but he’d made progress.

“Hey.” He leaned on the boards, smiling at her. His brown eyes danced with a combination of contentment and mirth. He seemed perfectly relaxed.

“Hey,” she said back.

“Are you still mad at me?” His question was earnest, as if her answer really mattered. His boyish concern melted whatever frost remained around her heart after watching him skate with Macy.

“It’s hard to stay mad at you.”

“I do have a certain irresistible charm.” He blew on his knuckles and swiped them across his chest.

“I’m so glad humility is number one on your list of virtues.” Amelia rolled her eyes.

“Let’s not forget my extreme morality, penchant for following any and all rules no matter how stupid, and my chaste behavior.”

“Yes, let’s not forget, especially your chastity.” Amelia laughed, and Brick joined in.

He leaned in closer, his eyes darkening. “I wouldn’t mind being unchaste with you.”

She shook her head. “You never give up, do you?”

“Absolutely never. Keep that in mind.”

“You two looked good out there.” Amelia deftly switched the subject.

“I didn’t know she could skate.” He grimaced and dipped his chin, shrugging one shoulder.

“I’m guessing there are a lot of things you don’t know about her.”

“Yeah.” He hung his head for a moment.

“You should get to know her.”

“I know. Spare me the lecture.” He sighed, not sounding defensive, but weary. “Ready for another spin around the rink?”

“Hardly. I suck at this. I’ve already wiped out Rush once.”

“Only once? I swear I saw twice.” He chuckled.

“The second time doesn’t count. He was still trying to get to his feet after the first time.”

“I like your logic.” His hearty laugh rumbled deep in his chest. “How about we watch for a while?”

“I’d love that.” She breathed a sigh of relief. She’d had enough humiliation for one day.

Amelia eased down the bench to make room, and Brick sat next to her, their thighs touching. She tried to move away from the heat of his nearness, but he latched himself to her side.

“You’re not getting away from me that easily, especially after last night. I don’t want chastity to be one of my virtues.” His dark eyes held hers and wouldn’t let her go. She felt every part of him as if he were physically touching her naked, sweaty body while he thrust into her over and over. “I never give up. I always get what I want.”

Amelia swallowed and forced her gaze to the ice. He was blessedly silent, giving her time to regroup and gain her equilibrium. “She’s something, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. She could feel his eyes on her, not on Macy.

“You’re getting somewhere with her.” Amelia did her best to ignore the heat rising between them. She concentrated on the skaters, noting not one of them came close to her ineptness.

“Yeah,” he said distractedly, looking away from Amelia. His gaze followed Macy around the ice. She’d ditched Rush and skated off to race Matt’s two boys.

“She’s competitive,” Brick noted with a smile.

“Like her father?”

“Yeah, like me.” He spoke with a measure of something that sounded very much like pride. “Did you know she could skate?”

Amelia shook her head. “No, not a clue. It’s odd she never brought it up. She can be such a chatterbox at times and shuts down at others.”

“Is that normal?” he asked, as if he really wanted to know the answer.

“I wouldn’t be too alarmed by her behavior. She recently lost the two most important people in her life.”

“Her mother taught her to skate. She was a figure skater. A good one. Not Olympic level, but good for BC.” He spoke softly, still focused on Macy, but he reached out his hand and took Amelia’s, holding tightly as if she were his lifeline.

“So you do remember her?” Amelia didn’t jerk her hand away, even though she probably should have.

“Yeah, I do now.” Sadness permeated his voice.

Before she could respond, Macy skated over with Matt’s boys hot on her heels. Their father followed at a more leisurely pace. Face flushed and eyes bright, Macy stared directly at Amelia. “Can I play a game of hockey with them?”

“Ask your father,” Amelia said.

Macy frowned for a moment, then looked at Brick. “Can I?”

“Yeah, sure. Don’t hurt anyone.”

She giggled and raced off toward the net.

Matt grinned after the three kids, who’d picked up a few more young participants on their way to the middle of the rink. Coop and Smooth gathered them around to pick teams and referee the rowdy bunch.

Matt snorted. “They’re braver than I am.”

“No shit,” Brick agreed, and squeezed Amelia’s hand.

Matt’s gaze flickered to Brick’s and Amelia’s entwined fingers. He said nothing. He glanced back to the middle of the rink. “She’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, I’m finally figuring that out.” Brick nodded, wary and a little embarrassed.

“We should take the kids bowling some night. I’m always looking for something to do when I’m home with them that doesn’t involve listening to my mom lecture me on being a good father and finding them a mother.”

Brick laughed. “Sounds like my mother. Glad it’s you and not me.”

“So, you game?”

“Sure.” Brick didn’t appear to be committing to anything, but he wasn’t ruling anything out, either.

Amelia sighed. She stared down at his big hand wrapped around hers and tried not to read much into it. He’d come a long way, but he had miles to go.

 

* * * *

 

After the skate, mountains of pizza boxes were delivered to the meeting room, along with soft drinks and salads. They finally arrived home mid evening. Macy’s eyes were drooping and her chattering about her new friends slowed to a few unintelligible words. Amelia helped her take a bath, then got her into her jammies, while Brick retreated to his living room to watch sports and gain back some equilibrium.

He’d managed to wriggle out of most of his daddy duties since the skate, but judging by the determined set of Amelia’s jaw, he wasn’t getting out of whatever she had planned next.

Amelia handed the children’s book to Brick. “Why don’t you read her a story? You can read, can’t you?”

He shot her an annoyed glance. “Of course I can read. First-grade level.” He reluctantly took the book from her hand. “Where the Wild Things Are?”

“I believe in kids being exposed to the classic children’s books.”

“My mom used to read this to me. It was my favorite.” He thumbed through the book, momentarily transported back to a simpler time.

“It’s her favorite, too.”

“Really?” he said softly, running a thumb over the worn hardcover. “It’s seen some use.”

“It was mine.”

He met her gaze, and something passed between them. He couldn’t explain what it was, only that it relaxed him, made him feel languid and mellow. As though he’d come home from a long, rough road trip only to find exactly what he needed right here waiting for him. He could stay in this spot forever, lost in eyes as blue and warm as a tropical lagoon.

“Go, read to her before she falls asleep.” She gave him a gentle shove. He blinked a few times and nodded.

Brick walked into his little girl’s room, feeling out of place yet right where he needed to be. He glanced over his shoulder. Amelia leaned against the doorjamb and gave him the thumbs-up. She loitered there, showing no signs of leaving, most likely ready to do damage control if he messed this up.

Macy hugged Simone to her and waited for her story. Brick lowered himself into the small chair, praying he wouldn’t break it and trying not to feel a little insulted when Macy frowned at him.

“Amelia says you like this book.”

“I do.” She lay back against the stack of pillows and watched him with intelligent brown eyes. He suspected she saw him for what he really was and worried he’d come up lacking.

Swallowing past a sudden lump in his throat, Brick opened the dog-eared book and cleared his throat. He began to read, his words stiff and stilted to his own ears.

Macy frowned, making a face he’d seen a thousand times in a bar when horrible karaoke singers belted out a song so awful it made his ears bleed.

“You’re just reading it,” she interrupted, wearing her pouty face.

“Isn’t that the idea?” He didn’t have a clue what the hell she wanted from him.

“Amelia does voices.”

“Okay.” Great, just great. He was expected to do sound effects? Brick did his best to create different voices. His animal sounds were decidedly lacking, causing Macy to shed the pouty face and giggle uncontrollably. He grinned. It was a small triumph but a pleasant one.

He read a half dozen more pages, getting into character more with each page he turned.

Macy’s eyes fluttered closed, and he tucked the comforter around her. He stared down at his daughter, his responsibility, leaned forward, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

It’d taken a while for the entire situation to sink in. He was still confused and mourning his old life, not that he’d exactly buried it yet, but he was adjusting to his new responsibilities, and at times, enjoying them. He walked out of the room, smiling. Amelia smiled back from her post at the door and followed him down the hall.

“You did good.”

“I did, didn’t I?” He poured them both a glass of wine and sat next to her on the couch. She scooted away from him, which he didn’t find much of a deterrent, but he let her have her distance for now. Much to his surprise, he needed to talk; sex could come a little later.

“I need to find out what happened to her mother.”

“It’d be a good idea. You have no clue?”

“None whatsoever.”

“Have you tried Googling her name?”

“Uh, no. I can’t remember it.” He racked his brain for her name.

“Let’s try to find it. She was a figure skater, right?” Amelia’s laptop was already in her lap and ready for action.

“BC champion.”

“Okay, that should be easy enough.” Amelia typed British Columbia figure skating champions and clicked on a link. “Is her name on here?”

Brick looked over the list. He didn’t need to look far. “Elizabeth Holtzer. That’s her.” He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and wiped his forehead with his palm. “Fuck, it’s hot in here.”

Amelia typed Elizabeth’s name in the Search field and pressed Enter.

The search results filled the screen. Brick leaned closer to read them.

Elizabeth Holtzer of Vancouver, British Columbia, was killed by a drunk driver going the wrong way on the Mercer Street exit ramp. Ms. Holtzer was pronounced dead on the scene. Her four-year-old daughter survived the crash with only minor injuries.

Brick absorbed this piece of information. That was his exit.

She lived in Vancouver, but she’d been in Seattle, exiting the freeway using his off ramp.

She’d been coming to see him, and she’d brought Macy with her.