Veronica
"I'm sure Travis would reschedule if you asked him."
"Probably, but he was so excited. If I cancel it just makes me look like the bad guy." I was stretched longways across the couch with Stella happily perched on my back.
Gabby shot a disapproving look in my direction so fast that I almost missed it. "It's parenthood, not a game of cops and robbers, Veronica."
"I know that," I responded crossly.
The doorbell rang, interrupting whatever Gabby might have been thinking of saying next. "I'll get it." She jumped up immediately. Aside from the fact that her manners were annoyingly impeccable, I knew Gabby was foaming at the mouth to finally get a look at the infamous Travis.
"Saved by the bell," I mumbled in the couch cushion.
Two distinct sets of footsteps entered the room. I kept my face buried in the couch. Stella bounced a little on my back, forcing a groan out of me.
"Hey, Ronnie." The close proximity of the voice startled me. I turned my head to find Travis had kneeled beside me. His face was full of concern. "If you're not feeling well we don't have to go tonight."
"I'm fine. Just a little tired."
He reached out and stroked my upper back in a comforting gesture. My traitorous heart stuttered. It shouldn't have felt so good, but my entire body came alive under the palm of his hand. It had always been that way with us.
"Are you sure? We could even just stay and do something here if that would be better." The thought of Vinnie coming home to find Travis in the house was enough to make me push up on my forearms.
"Nope, I'm good. Could you grab Little Bits for me?"
His hand fell away from me as he stood. I silently lamented the loss of contact. He barely hesitated before reaching for Stella. And despite the fact that he was still a stranger to her, Stella clutched onto him immediately. She curled into his chest and rested her cheek against him. The sight of it eased some of the ache of my long-bruised heart.
Gabby had stayed back on the fringe of the room, taking the whole scene. As I got on my feet I shot her a pointed look that sent her scrambling out of the room. "Nice to meet you, Travis," she called out as she went. "Come back any time."
Travis barely spared a glance in her direction. I grabbed the diaper bag I'd pre-packed and nodded towards the door. His grip tightened on our daughter as if I was going to ask for her back. I stepped past him, deciding not to steal the moment from him. It was the first real time he was getting to hold his daughter, considering the time at the playground had really only been an accident.
The real dilemma came when we made it outside. We hovered near the hood of my SUV, both hesitant. The driving thing hadn't been addressed before, and now we couldn't put it off.
"Veronica." I refused to look at him. He wrapped his hand around the crook of my elbow. "This is different. It's not like before."
I wanted so badly to believe that. Maybe a part of me even did. But I had a daughter to consider. It didn't matter how grown up the Travis in front of me seemed, I needed to make sure Stella was safe.
"I should drive," I stated firmly, finally turning to make eye contact.
He nodded, once.
"Stella's car seat is on that side." I pointed at the passenger side.
I stayed back while he attempted to do things on his own, but it wasn't long before he turned sheepishly towards me. "I've never worked one of these before. I think I'm doing something wrong with the buckle."
I took a few steps closer, fully prepared to explain the complicated mechanism to him. It turned out I didn't need to. I watched in awe as Stella rested her tiny hand on his giant one. Once she seemed sure she had his attention, she pointed out the places where he needed to connect buckles. She managed to walk him through the process all on her own. When they were done, the two of them shared a private smile. I turned to go to the driver's side, inconspicuously wiping a stray tear as I went.
He was great with her. And I'd kept her from him. You did that for a reason, my subconscious reminded me. I took a deep breath and did my best to shake it off. Travis had planned a fun night for us, I didn't need to ruin it by falling into my own personal pity party.
Travis and I both got comfortable in our respective seats and hit the road. The drive wasn't a particularly long one, but it started to feel like it as we drove in uncomfortable silence. Travis reached forward to turn the radio on. The very first song that played wasn't appropriate for young ears. He grunted and shut the whole thing back off.
Instead, he broke the silence with, "Gabby seemed nice." I snorted, and when I took a quick look at him his eyes were on me. "You don't think so?"
"She's just… not my cup of tea." I squirmed in my seat, uncomfortable under his stare that was so intense I could practically feel it.
"You know who Gabby reminds me of?"
"Laurel?" I blurted out without thinking.
He fell silent for a long moment. "Actually, I was going to say she reminds me of a lot of the girls we went to school with." He chuckled. "You're right, though, I guess. Laurel, too."
"She is a lot like the girls from school though, isn't she?" I laughed lightly as I pictured Gabby standing in line for the salad bar among the rich Tennessee princesses we'd bitched about at school. They'd been our friends… sort of… somehow.
"I can't believe we tried so hard to be friends with those people," Travis mused, echoing my own sentiment.
"In my defense, I didn't know any better. I was the new girl."
"Bullshit," he laughed. His eyes darted towards the backseat and he cringed. "Sorry."
My eyes reflexively sought out Stella in her car seat. She was fast asleep, which usually happened anytime we were in the car for more than five minutes.
I felt sheepish as I admitted, "I cursed like a sailor in front of her almost the whole first year. It takes some getting used to."
I maneuvered the car carefully into the parking lot of the aquarium. It was surprisingly crowded for a weeknight. I got lucky and found a single open spot in the very back of the lot. I put the car in park and started to get out. Travis' hand landed on mine, stopping me. When I turned back to him, his face was too close to mine. I gulped hard.
"Thanks for doing this," he whispered.
My head tilted slightly. His eyes moved to my lips as they parted. He leaned forward an inch, and then I was meeting him halfway. It wasn't the sort of kiss that caused fireworks. It was the kind that moved mountains. As my lips parted for him, his hand tightened over mine. It was only then that I realized what I'd done. I yanked back as if I'd been burned.
"I didn't—" I couldn't seem to choke any words out to explain away what I'd done.
Travis raised his palms in surrender. Self-preservation must have kicked in, too, because he turned and got out of the car without another word. By the time I'd calmed down enough to get out, he'd already brought Stella and her diaper bag around.
"There are a lot of fish in here that we're gonna get to see," Travis was saying to Stella.
"Fish?" she repeated.
"Does she know what fish are?" he whispered to me in concern.
"Yeah. Stella, are you excited for the fishies?"
Her head nodded furiously before she pointed to the ground. When Travis didn't immediately comply, she shook her hand and pointed even more insistently.
"She wants to walk," I semi-snapped at him. Tugging her away from him, I set her on the ground, keeping hold of her hand so that she wouldn't wander off.
His own frustration showed when he grumbled out, "I'm still learning."
Travis took hold of Stella's other hand so that she was sandwiched between us. That pleased Stella, who pulled her legs up so that she was swinging. Travis chuckled, swinging his arm so that she swung faster, and I followed suit. We moved like that until we made it to the ticket counter.
I stepped forward as if to buy tickets but Travis touched my elbow lightly to stop me. "I'll get the tickets." I wanted to argue. Vinnie had mentioned he was on scholarship, and he hadn't mentioned having a job, so I had to imagine he didn't have a lot of disposable income. It would just hurt his pride, though, if I argued. So, I stayed back with Stella while he paid.
"Thanks," I said simply when he returned and handed me my ticket. He didn't even acknowledge me, just turned to Stella and started ushering her towards the ticket taker on the far side of the entryway.
I had no one to blame but myself. I'd all but thrown myself at him even though I knew he had a girlfriend. He hadn't even wanted to talk about it afterward, so I could only imagine how guilty he must be feeling about the whole thing. I wondered whether he'd tell Laurel or not. It seemed to me that the right thing to do would be for him to tell her the truth, but I couldn't be sure if that was morality or my jealousy talking.
As we worked our way towards the first tank of the aquarium, I silently reviewed all of the reasons that kiss couldn't get a sequel. His girlfriend. His drinking habits. The little girl whose feelings I now had to consider more than my own. The fact that I couldn't even trust him enough to let him drive us ten minutes down the road.
I'd fallen for Travis once. I needed to make sure I didn't do it again.