Her ears rang, and she couldn’t hear properly. Her poor heart thudded loudly within the cavity of her chest.

What was Dr. Carson saying? What was he saying?

Amy felt like she’d gone crazy and her life had turned into an abstract where nothing made sense.

“Listen,” Dr. Carson continued. He sounded hesitant. “I know your situation, but I have to make you aware that we won’t be able to do the planned surgery. Your mother’s heart is too far gone and she will need a transplant. Because of the severity and the urgency, she’s listed as a priority. We have a heart that we can use but the funds need to be secured first, and it will be at least twice the cost of what was quoted.”

Tears gripped her, holding her within the grasp of despair, ripping her insides apart. Her strength completely left her and she dropped the phone as her knees buckled, falling to the floor in a crumpled pile of grief.

She’d failed. She couldn’t save her mother.

After all she’d done, in the end she wouldn’t be able to do anything. She was powerless.

She didn’t have that kind of money. She didn’t have anything.

Josh rushed up to her and gathered her wretched state in his arms.

“Amy, what happened?”

She could barely hear him too. “My mom,” she cried. “My mom.”

Panic filled his eyes. “What happened to her?”

She was crying so much she couldn’t talk and had to gasp to catch her breath.

“Baby, please tell me what happened.”

“She’s in the hospital,” she managed, and then told him the rest in stutters. Before she could even finish he picked her phone up from the ground and re-called Dr. Carson.

“What are you doing?”

He ignored her.

“Josh.” When she reached out to him, he held her face.

“Hi, this is Josh Mancini, I’m speaking on behalf of Amy Rose,” he said into the phone. Amy just stared at him, wondering what he was really doing.

He waited a little, listening to Dr. Carson. Amy could hear him telling Josh about the heart transplant and the procedure. “That’s fine. Do what you need to do. Send us the details and I’ll transfer the funds straightaway. We’ll see you in a few hours.”

Her blood drained as she listened and she felt fainter than when she got the news. As he hung up she shook her head.

“No,” she said as more tears spilled down her cheeks. “You can’t.”

It was that thing again where her focus was thrown and she didn’t want him to think he had to do this, or that her being with him was about money.

“Stop it. Yes I can and I am. Damn it, Amy, this is your mother.” His hand shook and pain filled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter where help comes from, you take it if it can save her life.”

“I didn’t want you to think that—”

He didn’t allow her to finish. “Amy, I don’t think anything. I just do, and I’m trying to do what’s right. This isn’t about anything besides that. I would do anything to see my mom again. Anything. Allow me to save yours.”

She gazed up at him through her tears and covered her mouth to keep from crying out. She couldn’t believe he would do this for her.

“I’ll give it back.”

“Jesus, no, you’ll do no such thing.” He smiled. “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms and held her. “I told you I’d take care of you. Here’s me trying.”

She buried her face into his chest and savored the safety she always felt.

He’d always referred to her as an angel, when all this time it was him.

He was the angel.

* * *

The journey to Atlanta was draining and lengthy. They left first thing in the morning and got to the hospital just before midday.

Josh did his best to keep Amy calm, but it was difficult. He knew he’d be a wreck, too, if it were him.

Her mother was still in surgery when they arrived so they waited in the waiting room with Amy’s brother and his wife. Both of who thanked him endlessly for his help.

Amy fell asleep in his arms. She didn’t sleep last night from the worry. Josh hated seeing her look so frail and drained.

It was nothing for him to help, and honestly, he would have offered to do anything she needed when she first told him about her mother’s condition. He only hadn’t insisted because she said she had everything under control. He also didn’t want her to feel obligated to him in any way.

Tonight was a necessity, but he still wished he could do more. He wanted to make Amy feel better.

She’d looked so happy when she came back from the showcase last night, and she was practically glowing when they were reciting the poem. He’d never thought he’d see the day when he, Joshua Mancini, would be reciting poetry to a woman.

What woman could make him crazy enough to do that?

He looked down at her dainty figure, crumpled against him for support.

This woman had changed him so much. They hadn’t been together long, but he didn’t believe in putting a label on something because time qualified it. He’d always been a man of feeling. Someone who spoke his mind and called it what it was when he saw it.

She meant something to him, everything. Time didn’t have to tell him that. It was something that hit him like wild truth.

It did scare him, though, because he couldn’t control it.

Josh liked to be in control, he liked to have a say. But emotion and feelings were different. The only say you had when it came to that was with your own, his own.

She stirred against him and opened her eyes. He rubbed her arm and continued to hold her. She’d cried so much that her eyes were red. And she’d started to cry again.

“Hey, there.” He stroked her head. “It’ll be okay.”

“I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be, baby. I’m here.”

“Thank you so much for everything.”

“Anything for you, beautiful Amy.” He kissed her forehead. “Anything.”

“Thank you.”

Her hands shook so he took them into his and thought he’d distract her a little with something easier to talk about. “So, I guess this confirms you really aren’t from Kansas.”

She looked up at him and offered a weak smile. “Nope, here we are in Atlanta. Our family home isn’t too far from here.”

“Is that right?”

She nodded. He would have loved to meet her family under better circumstances.

He tried hard to think of other things to talk about but found it difficult. The distraction he offered was only momentary as he felt her anxiety and fears and was worried for her.

Josh looked about the waiting room at the solemn faces of those around him that waited for news on their loved ones. Including them, there were about fifteen people in here. An elderly man in the corner rested his head back against the wall. His gray hair looked a straggled mess and his eyes were bloodshot. Josh had overheard him talking to the nurses about his wife, who he was waiting for. He said she just collapsed and he didn’t know why. He’d been here for hours and it wasn’t looking good. Over there by the large glass window sat a family of four with a teenage son who recognized Josh. Josh had seen the recognition flicker in his eyes but that was all, the boy was as distraught as the rest of his family because his little sister had been hit by a truck. The boy looked over at him and Josh gave him a curt nod. The boy nodded back and looked like he was trying to keep himself composed.

This was what it would have been like if his mother and Clarissa had been taken to a hospital after their accident, if they hadn’t been killed instantly in the crash. The waiting would have been the same and it wouldn’t have been good news.

He was about to talk about the showcase when Dr. Carson came into the room. Amy leapt out of his arms.

“Please tell me she’ll be okay,” Amy begged. They all joined her.

Dr. Carson smiled. The action lifted his graying mustache and his eyes twinkled. “It’s very early to tell, but I would say she’s going to be fine,” he declared with pride. Amy threw her arms around him, hugging him hard with gratitude.

“Thank you so much,” she said over and over again.

Her brother thanked him, too, and turned to Josh with a bright smile on his face.

“Thank you again,” he expressed, putting his hand out to shake his. Josh took it and offered a smile. “This wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

“It’s cool, man, happy to help.”

Amy looked to Josh next and seemed quite choked up. He put his arm around her as she sunk into his embrace.

“We’ll have to keep a sharp eye on her for the next forty-eight hours and monitor her closely for a few days. These types of procedures can require extensive aftercare, especially because of the stress placed on the body,” Dr. Carson explained. “Unfortunately, that will mean she’ll be with us for a few weeks and will need a good ten weeks to recover. She’s a very strong person, so I’m positive we’ll see quite an effective recovery from her.”

Josh listened and took the chance to hold Amy. He zoned out as Dr. Carson continued and thought of what this all meant.

He wasn’t being selfish, it was just simply thoughts. This would change everything. It would change his relationship with Amy. She was only working for him to raise the funds for her mother. She didn’t need that anymore.

She would work in L.A. when she started at Dior, but that wouldn’t be until next year this time.

All that was left of them was their relationship. For him that was everything, all that he had, and mattered more to him than playing football.

But he didn’t know how she felt. He didn’t know if it was enough for her, and he shouldn’t expect her to come back to him. He didn’t exactly make the best first impression, and he didn’t even begin to climb up the ladder of the type of man she should be with. She’d never have picked him if they hadn’t met the way they had.

He understood, he had to. And he’d have to understand, too, if this meant goodbye.

Amy was able to see her mother a few hours later when she recovered from the surgery. Josh met her briefly and, while she couldn’t talk, she smiled at him. Amy looked exactly like her. The resemblance was quite prominent. Looking at her mother, Josh could tell that she’d been through a lot. Not just from the surgery, but life in general. Her brother had that same look, too, and Josh could only imagine what they must have all gone through.

He stayed with Amy for as long as he could, staying right through till Sunday. It was clear that she didn’t factor him needing to get back to L.A., but he had to go.

Amy didn’t need him here anymore. The worst part was over and he should probably go anyway to allow them some private family time with each other.

In the evening when they went back to the hospital, he took Amy aside so he could speak to her. She still didn’t seem to guess that he had to go.

“Are you okay?” He thought he’d begin with that because she looked more relaxed and relieved.

“Yeah. I’m just so grateful that you did this for us.” Her sweet smile always got him. Always held his attention and made him feel like he could do anything.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad I could have helped.”

They sat down on the bench just outside the room. He took her hand and held it to his heart.

“Amy,” he began. Her smile widened as she looked up at him. “I should go back to L.A.” It was hard to tell her, and even harder to watch the bright expression recede from her face.

“Oh.” She released a breath and brought her hand up to her cheek. “Of course. I’m so silly, I actually forgot. But yes, we should go back.”

We. He was happy to hear that, but it was likely that she still wasn’t thinking straight. She didn’t need to go back.

“Not we baby. Just me. You need to be here with your mom.” He gave her hand a soft squeeze as she held his gaze. He could tell she was processing it now, and the clarity of the situation was revealing itself to her.

“Josh. I…”

“You need to be here for however long she needs you.”

She looked at their hands joined together, then lifted her gaze back up to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what to say to you. It’s so stupid that I didn’t remember you had to go back. I completely forgot that the first game is just weeks away.” A tear ran down her cheek. “There’s so much to do and organize.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I will. And I’ll call you every chance I get.”

“You promise?”

“Of course.” He nodded. More tears ran down her cheeks and he wiped them away. Josh pulled her in for a hug and kissed her.

Then it was goodbye. He thought he’d leave quickly because prolonging his departure would be harder.

Hours later he got back to L.A. As he stepped into his empty house he felt odd. It felt odd. The life that Amy brought to it would no longer be there.

He was alone, again, and left to his devices.

It was easier to change his ways and find strength to beat his alcohol addiction when she was here. She made him a better person. She balanced him and gave him something to look forward to on a daily basis.

He wasn’t about to fall back into old habits—no, definitely not—but he didn’t know how he was going to do anything without her.

He remembered that week when Corey came by and implied that a good woman was what he needed. Josh had thought the idea of being with one woman was completely absurd. His thoughts had dramatically changed after he first kissed Amy. Now all he could think of was her.

Josh got very little sleep that night and woke earlier than normal. He’d even cleaned up the rose petals and other stuff he had lying around for the special night he’d planned for her. By the time Hilda came in there wasn’t much for her to do.

“How is she?” she asked. He’d filled her in over the weekend.

“She’s fine, and her mother should make a good recovery.” He smiled, doing his best to hide his emotions.

“How long is she going to be away?”

That was a good question. “Well um, the doctors said her mother needed ten weeks to recover, but she…um. Well, she doesn’t need this job anymore, really, I suppose.” He brought his hand up to his stubbly chin and ran it over his face.

Hilda offered him a kind smile. “But she will come back for you.”

He looked at her and appreciated her kindness. “I don’t know, Hilda. I don’t know if she sees me like that. I might not see her again.”

Hilda shook her head. “Josh, it’s Amy, of course you will.” She looked at him like the thought of that happening was ridiculous. He wished that he could see it that way. He wished he could see what Hilda saw, but right now the possibility of not seeing Amy again scared him. “Trust me. Just give her some time to get over this incident with her mom. That was a real good thing you did for her. You’re a good man, Josh. I know she’ll come back.”

He pulled in a breath and hoped for the best.

* * *

Hearty laughter rippled through the air, travelling on the edge of the warm summer breeze along with the delicious aroma of an assortment of food.

Amy brought her knees to her chest as she sat by the window in her room and gazed out at her family and friends having fun in the back garden. While Tristan and his friend, Peter, stood behind the barbecue serving burgers, Amy’s little cousins ran around with their black Labrador in tow. Alecia, the oldest of the children, had just taken Uncle Tom’s toupee, again. The kids thought it hilarious; Uncle Tom, on the other hand, was well and truly annoyed. That was the fifth time that the kids had taken his hair right off his head and he was now too tired to chase them, and the dog too. It was funny. Her family had a way of creating their own drama and entertaining themselves. Amy could see Cynthia and Larissa, her friends from high school, killing themselves with laughter.

Everyone had turned up, it was nice.

It was Sunday, and Sunday always meant a big get together at her mother’s house. This particular Sunday was special, though, because it was the first get together since her mother had gotten sick.

Her mother was doing remarkably well, and even though she still required a lot of care and support, Amy could see the massive difference in her. She’d been here now for eight weeks and had witnessed her getting significantly better each day. It was actually the healthiest her mother had looked in years. A new heart was definitely what she needed. A strong new heart that would save her and give her the chance for a longer life with all the happiness she deserved.

The whole family had turned up today for this grand barbeque her brother and cousin had done. Music played and everyone was having a real good time.

Amy, however, couldn’t join them.

She couldn’t bring herself to join in the celebration because her mind was on Josh. Having her mother look so alive and healthy was the best thing could ever ask for, but she missed Josh so much it made her heart ache.

Over the last few weeks they’d messaged and called each other as often as they could, but that probably wouldn’t last.

The football season started in ten days. She’d really wanted to be there to support him and watch him play.

Everything was different now. She hadn’t been his PA in eight weeks, so she was sure he had someone else. And…she had to be realistic, he was Joshua Mancini. She was certain he’d had someone else in other respects too. Amy wasn’t his girlfriend. Men like him didn’t have girlfriends, and if they did they’d always have someone on the side. She wasn’t like the walking Barbie doll types he’d been with, and that told her everything she needed to know. She didn’t fit into his world.

“There you are.” Her mother came into her room with a tray of food from the barbeque.

“Mama, you shouldn’t be serving me. I should be taking care of you.”

“Sweet girl, that is all you’ve been doing this whole time, and all your life.” She rested the tray on her desk and sat on the edge of the bed. Amy turned to face her.

Jill, her sister-in-law, had cut her mother’s hair so that it was now shoulder length and had what she called Farrah Fawcett flicks. Her mother looked good, younger even with the great hair style and peach summer dress that hugged her figure.

“I’m supposed to look after you.” Amy smiled.

“You do and I love you for that. But I’m supposed to look after you too. So, talk to me. I know what’s up with you, but I’m just going to ask anyway.”

Her mother’s deep southern accent was always refreshing to hear. That and the animated expressions she’d make as she talked.

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? No girlie, I know the look of pining all too well when I see it. I also may have been off my face on anesthetics, but when I saw your football angel I knew you weren’t just his PA.”

She hadn’t exactly told her mother about her relationship with Josh. And it seemed like she might not have to.

“I’m that transparent, huh?” Amy twiddled her fingers and looked down at the plaid pattern on her bed sheets.

“It wasn’t you. It was him.” Her mother smiled.

Amy looked up. “Him?”

Her smile brightened and her green eyes sparkled with delight. “Oh yes. So the question is what are we going to do?”

Amy didn’t follow what she meant. “I’m not sure what you mean. Things have changed a lot. I’ve been away for awhile.” And Josh most likely replaced her in all departments. Any woman could have landed in his lap and then they’d end up doing the wild dance.

“That shouldn’t matter. I wish that I could have someone look at me like that.” Her mother looked away and Amy knew the sudden lost look in her eyes was for her father. “But my time has passed.”

“You’re thinking about Dad.” Amy was always grateful that she could be upfront and speak her mind.

“I’m always.” She looked back to her. “No one has seen him in over twenty years, but I still think of him. I stupidly thought he’d come back when I got so sick. I thought some magical force would bring him back to me.”

This was Amy’s biggest fear. Becoming like this.

“It’s time to stop thinking about him,” she told her, hating to break her heart.

“Yes. Definitely. It’s definitely time to stop.” She nodded with a soft smile. Amy was glad to hear her say that, and glad she looked so determined. It seemed like her illness was a wakeup call in every sense of its meaning. “Anyway, back to you. I don’t need you here.”

“Mama, that’s way harsh.” Amy giggled.

“Oh no, I don’t mean to be. But it’s true. Tristan will be able to help me out if I need it.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything, I’m just telling you that I don’t need you here. You can decide for yourself what you’d like to do with that info.” She smiled.

Amy smiled back and thought about it. She’d taken many risks before.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take one more.

For her it was worth a try.