DID YOU KNOW THAT classes with the guy you’ve been in love with, and are now fighting with become a thousand times harder to concentrate in when you aren’t speaking? Wrigley came to class early, he sat next to me like always, but didn’t so much as look at me, talk to me, or touch me. When the professor dismissed us, he shot out of his chair like he was on fire, and left the room. I sucked back the tears and tried to tell myself it was okay. This was only temporary. I’d had time to think about things. I had time to think about everything.

It was now the end of the semester and every student was cramming for finals. Wrigley and I hadn’t spoken in over three weeks. It was the most miserable time of my life. If it hadn’t been for me paying such close attention to my instructors during the semester, I would have likely failed all of my finals. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Aurora had told me many times to just go talk to him and smooth everything out. But I couldn’t. Pride kept me in my room and in my pajamas for days on end. I was sure she tried the same tactics with him, but we didn’t talk about it. She eventually gave up and told me that she was here for me when I was ready to deal with life.

Whatever that means.

LSU campus was emptying out as the last day was here, and majority of kids had left to go home for the next month till Spring session started. Aurora and I had become so close, we requested to be roommates again for the new year. I think colleges tried to change up who you roomed with every year just so we met new people, but if situations turned out well, you could ask to keep who you lived with. I couldn’t imagine sharing my space with anyone else. Her purple loving side of the room and all

“Gosh this place looks so boring without all our stuff in it.”

Aurora came to my side. “Yeah. Are you sad?”

I sniffled. “Nope.”

She giggled and bumped me, slinging her arm around my shoulder. She put her head on me and we stood there being the couple of girls that we were. “Do me a solid, and next year try not to have you side so stuffy. I need a little more color in my life.”

I laughed. “More than what you already had?”

“Yep.”

“Bright pink it is.”

We both smiled about it and continued to pack the last of our boxes. “Okay, I’m going to head out. Make sure you text me and call me every day to let me know how you’re doing.”

“I will, promise.” I said. “And I want to hear all about how the visit with Bishop’s family goes and if there are any proposals.”

She baulked. “Fuck that. I love the guy, but I’m so not ready for that mess.”

I rolled my eyes at my beautiful friend. “Mhmm.”

She had a bag in hand and left me alone to finish. I was leaving in the afternoon. My dad was driving here to pick me up and haul all of my stuff back home. I was definitely bringing my car back next semester, I was done with being transportation-less. I wanted to expand my exploring to other places like New Orleans, or Shreveport.

I sat down on my now coverless bed and let my emotions get the best of me. This had been such a stressful time in my life. I had let what Wrigley had said to me make me angry at first. I was so angry I had written him half a dozen letters yelling at him and saying I hoped I never saw him again. But then I tried to reason with the words. I spoke them out loud. I listened to myself say them. And when I did, I actually heard them for the first time.

The past was in the past.

I needed to let it go. We were kids. I had been so heartbroken over words he’d said that one year during Easter, I’d never let it go. I’d allowed it to dictate everything I did as I grew. It was never that I wasn’t invited to parties or get-togethers. And I certainly had the ability to make friends. But it was a feeling I’d carried with me for years when I should have shed it like it was a second skin. The more I had thought about it, the more I gave it power.

This wasn’t high school, and he was right about that. The looks I thought I was getting from people, aside from Livi, weren’t looks of disdain and them saying hurtful things. It was me telling myself that I was ‘gross’ and not worthy. I labeled everyone, including myself.

Unworthy.

These last few weeks felt desolate without Wrigley in my life. He was like a beacon of happiness and brightness that warmed me with a simple thought of him. He had a way of making me feel good. He made me feel loved. But the part I wish he understood more of, was him confiding in someone that was so hateful towards me. Words that sounded so similar to the past spewed out of his mouth, and I wanted to know why. So, I lied. I wouldn’t downplay that it was a big deal for the both of us. But this was new. I didn’t know the rules of having a boyfriend. And I certainly didn’t know the rules when it came to having a guy who you grew up with and how you tell people.

There was a knock on the door, and my dad stepped in. “Hey Princess, I’m here.”

“Dad!” I got up from the bed and went to hug him.

He helped me bring down boxes and we loaded up the truck for the long trip back home. I was grateful for him. I was also grateful that he wasn’t as nosy or chatty as my mom. He could sense something was off with me, but he didn’t pry.

My first days back home were spent in my sweat pants as I binge watched The Bachelor, and gorged myself on Ben and Jerry’s. I knew it would happen. Heartbreak and the best ice cream on earth were in my future after being with Wrigley. On my third day home, near the afternoon, my mom came into the living room, shut off the television and stood in front of it.

“Okay, I’ve let you wallow enough. Now it’s my turn to be a mom. What’s going on?”

I set the pint of ice cream down on the coffee table and adjusted my dirty t-shirt. I hadn’t changed since yesterday. “Nothing really. Just being a lazy college student that’s enjoying her break.”

She shook her head. “Young lady, I know when you’re just being a normal teen and when something is wrong. Something is definitely wrong.”

I looked at her. She was serious. I honestly had nothing to lose by telling my mom everything. Well, minus the stuff that she really didn’t need to know. Sighing, I patted the couch and she came to sit down next to me. I started off from the beginning. The Easter stuff, the school stuff, the stuff that I was choosing not to let affect me anymore, and finally the Wrigley stuff. By the time I was done, two hours had passed, mom had finished the ice cream and had cried right with me when I told her I was feeling lost.

“Oh honey, you know everything is going to be okay, don’t you?”

“Yeah, eventually. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Do I let it go with him, or do I make him listen to me?”

“You make him listen to you, of course.” She smirked. “Us women make them listen when we are ready to talk. How do you think I’ve kept your dad around for so long?”

I smiled. “Okay, but how?”

“Hadley, only you know the answer to that.” She put her hand on my thigh and gave it a pat. “You’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out.”

“Are those your words of wisdom?” I asked sarcastically, still just as unsure of my next move as before I’d told her.

She smiled. “Sure is. Think about it. You know what to do and you know what’s right for you. If I could suggest one thing, Mrs. Brooks deserves an apology.”

Yes, she did. I nodded. “Okay. And I think you deserve one as well.” I sighed. “I shouldn’t have lied.”

“Don’t think of it as lying to me, Hadley. While I appreciate the gesture, it was an omission that you decided to keep to yourself. All good things come with time. I knew something was bothering you, but I wasn’t going to push it. Besides, I’d spoken to Donna the week before you came home, and I knew something was going on with Wrigley.”

“You did?” I said, shocked.

“Mhmm. I just wanted to wait for you to come to me. He’s your first boyfriend. There’s bound to be kinks that need to be worked out before it has a chance to be perfected. You two have a past. There are challenges that come with that.”

I scoffed. “It’s far from perfect.”

Mom patted my leg. “I know my daughter. You’ll get there.”

I sat for a few moments, thinking about her words. “So you’re saying I shouldn’t quit?”

“I’m saying you should definitely give it a fighting chance.”

A small traitorous tear slid down my cheek. “Thanks, Mom.

“I think I know what the rest of today needs. Some cookies, and a packed shopping mall to make us a little crazier than we already are.”

I laughed. “I look like a mess.”

“Nonsense. Change your clothes and put your hair up, you’ll be good as new. Let’s go!” She stood up and breezed out of the room.

Oddly, I felt rejuvenated. I needed to get out, get some fresh air and figure out my next move. One thing was for sure, I definitely wanted to talk to Wrigley. Even if he never wanted to speak to me again, at least I could go on with myself knowing that I’d tried.

I had laid in bed thinking about different ways how the conversation could go between Wrigley and me. It spanned from him telling me he hated me and never wanted to speak to me again, to him telling me he was completely in the wrong and he carried me off into the sunset on a white horse. Okay, so that last one was a little far-fetched, but it gave me a laugh during a time I felt insanely stressed. The good news was, it didn’t take long for it to hit me. I had a plan, and it was time to execute it. I didn’t care how cheesy it was going to look, I knew it was the right way to do it. First thing I did was send flowers to Donna, along with a note apologizing for my behavior. She called me the afternoon she received them and she told me all was forgiven and forgotten. I wanted to ask her how Wrigley was before we hung up, but I wasn’t going to make his mom the middle man. I even sent a bouquet to my mom, which earned me a hug and kiss on the cheek. The flowers were in a vase on the island, and the smell of them greeted me, along with my dad’s coffee brewing when I came downstairs.

“Dad, do you mind if I take the riding mower out?” I asked.

He was just getting ready to leave for work. He paused mid-sip of his cup of coffee. “Sure. But don’t speed,” he said sarcastically.

I grinned then kissed him on the cheek. “Okay, thanks.” He probably thought I was crazy, but what else was new.

“Should I even ask what you need it for?”

I shook my head no. “Don’t worry, I know the rules. No speeding, and no road rage. If I get arrested, you’ll be my first call.”

He set his mug in the sink. “That’s reassuring.” Then he walked out the front door.

I looked at myself before I went out to get it. I’d curled my hair in light waves, and applied pale make-up to make my face look fresh and bright eyed. The irony was not lost on me that I was trying to make myself look a little like I did that first night he’d come on to me at his house. Since it was cold outside, I put on a red long-sleeved top that was tight and hugged my curves. Jeans were a necessity, and I tossed on my jacket and gloves before heading out.

This mower literally had two speeds, turtle and rabbit. Rabbit speed was still incredibly slow, but it was fine. It was giving me time to think about what I was going to say when I got to Wrigley’s. Being just down the road, I almost wished we were a little further apart because, as I approached, I was suddenly nervous and thinking that this idea was idiotic. Plus, I was freezing.

You have nothing to lose. I reminded myself.

I drove onto his very brown grass, and started making laps back and forth. I hoped like hell that someone inside would hear me and let him know I was here. His car, and Donna’s car, were in the driveway. Back and forth I went, humming a Christmas song in my head to pass the time. I was trying to convince myself that my body shaking was because I was cold, and not because my nerves were rattling me. I hadn’t exactly planned how long I would stay out here doing this, or if it would take them a while to notice me. But I guess I’d stay as long as I needed. Or as long as my fingers wouldn’t freeze and fall off.

About ten minutes passed and I was already losing a little hope that I’d have to get off and ring his door bell like a normal human being, but, like a breath of fresh air, there he was. Wrigley stepped out on his front porch, and I suddenly I felt a little warmer. He was in jeans and a light gray Henley that hugged his chest. He wasn’t wearing a coat and I knew he would be too cold to be out here for very long, so I better make this quick.

I didn’t give away that I’d noticed him standing there in all his amazing beautiful glory. Instead, I waited till he flagged me down. I rode over to him and shut off the mower, casually sitting till something was said.

“Hadley, what on earth are you doing? Have you lost your mind?”

“No. Well, I mean, maybe, or not yet.” I shook my head. Stick to the point. “We need to talk.”

He raised a handsome brow, and his scent hit me. Lord, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. “And you couldn’t just come over or text?”

“I figured grand gestures and late eighties movies were the right way to go.”

He looked me over. “I’m not following.”

Shrugging, I said, “Someone once told me that I knew nothing of pop culture. So I’m giving it a go. Ever seen Can’t Buy Me Love? McDreamy is the main character.”

“Hadley, everyone has seen it. I’m still not getting it.”

I looked down at my feet and brushed some dead grass away. “I was trying to mimic it. I wanted to show you that I’m here under honest pretenses.”

I paused and he stepped closer to me. “Which is?”

“I’m sorry, Wrigley. I was wrong. I should have never lied to your mom. I should have never denied us being in a relationship. And I should have let go of things that I had no control over yet kept living through over and over.”

“You’re sorry?”

“Very. I’ve spent the last few weeks completely miserable and sad that I’ve not seen you. I know the things I was holding over your head was wrong. I realized everyone else was moving forward, and I was stuck. I had no clue how to let go, and you showed me that things actually can change.”

He ran his hand through his freshly cut, dark brown hair. His hazel eyes were glistening in the early morning light. “Well, thank you for that. I appreciate the apology.”

I shuffled my feet. “Erm, don’t you think you should say something more?”

“Like what?”

“Maybe an apology of your own? I mean it took a lot for me to come here and say all this.”

“Hadley, just because someone says they are sorry, doesn’t mean the other person has to say it back.”

What? “Since when?”

Was now the moment I started questioning my coming here and showing him that I cared? Did I waste the last month thinking I had done this horrible thing, and he had been moving on like nothing was bothering him? Had he brushed me aside?

He snickered. “Why don’t you tell me what you want me to apologize for, and we can talk about it.”

“Wrigley,” I furrowed my brows. “Now is not the time to be an ass. We both messed up here. I’ve apologized for my wrong doing, but you’re not even acknowledging that you opened yourself up to a person that I’m certain you knew got under my skin. Not only that, but even despite my lies, you never told me that your mom was aware of our relationship. I felt blindsided. This was the first relationship I’d been in, and it was grounds I’d never walked through. I had no idea how to respond, and I didn’t know if it was something you okay with me openly talking about. We should have discussed it.”

He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. “Well, you’re definitely right about that. We should have. I let you get away too long with not saying we were in an official relationship. If we had, I don’t think all the shit with my mom would have even gone down.”

“No, it wouldn’t have. Sure, I would have been hesitant or shy to talk about it, but I wouldn’t have clammed up.”

“Good to know.”

“And Livi?”

He turned and went to lean against the lawn mower. “Livi was a mistake.”

My stomach began to flip flop. “Why does it sound like you’re about to tell me more than I want to hear?”

“Huh?” Puzzled, he was trying to grasp what I could be eluding to. “Hadley, are you asking if something more happened since the day in the pub?”

“Yes.” Being direct was all I could muster.

Exasperated, he flung his hands in the air. “Fuck no. I have never been interested in her. I told her shit that I should have never have said, and that was a mistake. While I wasn’t happy that you listened in on that conversation, it wasn’t right for me to say what I did. If that is the apology that you are really waiting on, then there you have it. I’m sorry. Livi was there, alcohol was there, and I was confused by what was going on between us.”

I blew out a breath I had been holding in. Good lord I didn’t know just how tense the idea of Wrigley being with Livi would make me, but my body felt rigid and I’d probably throw up on his sock clad feet if he said something more had happened.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to know.” I took a few small steps towards him and peered up at him. “Seems there were a lot of misconstrued problems, that a simple conversation would have solved.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, not with the alcohol involved. You’re kind of a mean little badass when you’re drunk.”

I blushed. “Yeah, about that. Remind me to never do that again. I was praying to the porcelain gods for a whole day.”

He laughed. It was a welcomed, sweet sound, to my ear.

“I guess we really screwed up, didn’t we?”

“Screwed up what?”

I motioned between us. “This, us.”

“Are you acknowledging that there’s an us here?”

My nails started clicking and he looked down at them. The corner of his mouth tilted up.

“I am, if there really is an us.”

Wrigley, stood up from the mower and took two steps towards me. We were nearly touching, and I could almost feel his body heat. “Can we label it?”

I reached up and slapped his chest. “Hush.”

He chuckled. “No, seriously. I think it’s important for it to be known and that there be a name here. Boyfriend and girlfriend. There will be no questioning what we are and who we are to each other.”

My heart began to race. “Then let there be labels.”

He gave me a full-blown smile with brilliant white teeth. “And truly for the record, whatever you overheard with Livi, I told her I was an idiot and to leave me alone. She needed to know there was never going to be a chance between us. I’m pretty sure Faith said Livi failed her semester and is going to attend school wherever she lives.”

I reached up, grabbed his arm and acted shocked. “Don’t toy with me, Brooks. This would be the best Christmas present ever.”

He shook his head. “Come here.”

Wrigley pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around my back. I pressed myself into him and got as close as I possibly could. He was still toasty from being inside. He took one of his hands behind me and tugged on my hair gently, bringing my head back so he could look down at me.

“This gets a fair shot this time, understand?”

I didn’t know where this bossy dominant Wrigley came from, but I loved it. “Yes sir!” I mocked with a solute.

He laughed then brought his lips down to mine in a deep passionate kiss. It was a kiss that sealed the deal for me. It was one that spoke volumes louder than if I had been shouting ‘I love you’ from a megaphone down the street at him. He parted his mouth and brushed his tongue across mine. He tasted like cinnamon. I wanted more, but he kissed me long enough to leave me panting and wanting so much more than I could express.

He pulled back but kept an arm around my shoulder. “So, you’ve never seen Can’t Buy Me Love till now?”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “I’m learning that I should definitely brush up on my pop culture. Aurora’s making me.”

He laughed and led me towards the house. “You’re my girl, Hadley.”

“Sounds like the real Christmas present that I asked Santa for.

“Ho, ho, ho.” He chimed.

I certainly had no clue how this all was going to end up, but I couldn’t have written it better if it had been in a romance novel. My heart was full, I was home with my family, and I knew more of who I was now, than I had even three weeks ago. Wrigley Brooks was teaching me, yet again. And I adored him for it. He was mine, and I was his. Labels and all.

As he held open the door for me, Donna was standing there waiting to greet with me with a warm and welcoming hug. Wrigley slapped my butt and said, “Mom… meet my girlfriend.”

I giggled as he shut the door. I adored this boy of mine.