Sebastian and I walk in silence for a hundred feet, two hundred, three hundred. I see him move more than once to put his arm around me, as he always did when we walked together— but then he catches himself, and slings his hands into his pockets instead. It stings.

“How did you know I was here?” I ask when the silence has become too much for me to handle.

Sebastian smiles. “I told you— I make it a point of knowing about girls I’m interested in. And also, some friends of yours tagged you on Facebook.”

I shake my head. “Right, of course.”

“The real question,” Sebastian says, stopping to take an uneasy breath. I’m not used to seeing him like this, and it throws me. “Is why I’m here.”

“Okay. Why are you here?” I ask. We’re walking almost comically slowly, feet sliding one after another, like we’re both afraid to hurry through this time together. Despite this, it’s another twenty steps before Sebastian answers me— I know because I count them in order to ease my racing mind.

“I’m here for you,” he says. “I’m here because I don’t like how things ended.”

“Okay,” I say hesitantly. “Did you want…is there something you wanted to say? Or…” I’m suddenly worried that he isn’t here to do me any kindness, but to release a barrage of anger he forgot to mention in our last talk. What if he’s about to calmly tear me down? That’ll probably feel worse than him speeding away from me did.

“I’m angry that you lied to me, Ashlynn,” he says, stopping. We’re at a cul-de-sac at the end of my street, near the ridiculously oversized fountain my see-how-we-got-rich-off-a-fluke-investment neighbors have in their front yard. There are flamingos spouting water up into the air, but even they can’t lighten the weight of my heart when I hear Sebastian’s words.

“I know. You’re right to be,” I say, looking down.

“But I also realize it must have been hard for you, hearing me talk about my father and never saying anything. No matter what happened, you lost someone you love. And we never talked about that. We never talked about how sad that was— how sad it probably still is. I wish I’d known. I wish I could make you less sad about it,” he says, sounding almost angry at himself, now, for his inability to fix the problem.

“It was hard,” I admit. “And it is still sad. I think about it every day. I think about her every day. And then somehow being with you, of all people, helped me forget a little. Instead of this dull ache missing Aunt Tessa became like a roller coaster— I’d go to these highs where I only vaguely thought about her, then these lows where I felt so awful about everything I was doing. To her memory, to you, to our families…”

“I wish you’d told me. Not just so you weren’t lying, but so I could help,” Sebastian says sincerely. He looks like he’s about to say something more, but then he looks over my shoulder and frowns. “Wait— are those flamingos?”

“Rose gold flamingos,” I say, sniffing— I didn’t realize I was so close to tears, but now they’re flowing freely, like the sudden mood change set them loose.

Sebastian smiles a little, then takes the smallest step closer to me. “Are you alright?” he asks, tilting his head to try and get a good look at my face.

I wipe my eyes with the bottom of my palm and shake my head. “Ugh, no, I’m a mess. I just wish I could go back. I wish we could go back.”

“Really?” Sebastian says. When I nod, he tells me, “I don’t.”

I give him a disbelieving look, but he goes on. “You asked me in the car that day— what if my father did kill your aunt? And so I…I did some reading. I talked to our lawyer. I talked to my father, even…” His voice is wary now, and my stomach is tumbling. I have no idea where this is going, but wherever it is, I think I might be sick when we get there.

“What do you mean?” I ask in a near whisper, unsure if I even want to hear the answer.

Sebastian takes a long, steadying breath, and stares at the fountain, like the ridiculousness of the birds might give him strength. “I love my father despite everything, and I always will. Alright? You have to know that. He’s my father.” For a second, I think I hear a tremble in his voice, but then I’m not entirely sure if it was there or not.

“I understand,” I say. My voice is definitely trembling.

Sebastian rubs the back of his head, then meets my eyes. “I never looked at any of the evidence against him before, Ashlynn. I never thought I needed to. I knew he was innocent. But you questioned that in the car, that day. So when I found out who you were, when I began to worry that maybe I’d said something damning about him, I starting thinking on everything you’d said, everything I’d said. Everything stacked against my dad, and everything stacked for him. I’ve never done that before. Carson asked me to look through it all once with him, and I refused. I thought that even looking at the case against him meant I was doubting him. Like it made me a terrible son.”

“That’s not true,” I say, but he waves a hand— he needs to get through this. He looks like he may break at any moment, strong as he is, big as he is. Perfect as he is.

He swallows. “I’m not saying I think he killed your aunt, Ashlynn. But I am saying that I don’t know, anymore. Not like I used to. And what’s most important to me right now is that the person who is guilty goes to jail. Even if that person is my dad.”

My eyes well up anew. I don’t even know what to say, much less where to look or where to put my hands. “Sebastian,” I start, but then don’t know where to go. I settle on this: “I’m so sorry I lied. I love you. Still, I mean. And I won’t lie to you again.”

“I’d appreciate that. I’m sorry I didn’t understand why you had to do it. I think I do, now. It’s hard to be up front about things when it comes to family,” he says gently, voice calming. He steps closer again, then another step, another, till he’s just a foot away. He reaches out a hand and runs it down my arm, like he’s testing whether or not this is acceptable. When I lean into his touch, he smiles, then lowers his head toward mine.

Then he brings his lips to mine and kisses me in that perfect way— the way that promises me we’ll kiss a thousand more times. And I kiss him back in kind, because I know without a shred of doubt that despite all that lies between us, we will.