"Coffee?" He rolled from the bed, threatening to pull the sheet off my snuggled form.
"Don't you dare.” I clung onto it tightly. "I'm too comfortable."
I pretended to keep my eyes shut, but I was watching him through my narrowed eyelids. He was still butt naked and had been all night, although we hadn't repeated any of the earlier activities. We'd just talked. At two he'd announced there wasn't much chance of him sleeping and maybe we should watch a movie, so I went and grabbed Sammy's iPad. Then we'd both fallen asleep, his golden arms wrapped around me tight.
For a moment, I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me, but I watched through barely opened eyes as he hesitated and ran his fingers through his hair before stalking into the bathroom and grabbing his clothes. "These stink," he shouted through the door.
"Hold on." With a groan, I heaved myself off the bed. I ached considerably which was impressive considering I was used to running miles daily. It was the story of my life that my body was better adapted to running than it was sex. I padded to the built-in cupboards and rifled through my drawers until I found some old football shorts and a spare T-shirt. "Here." I flung them through the door.
The next thing I knew he was by the door, his manhood swinging proudly between his legs as he waved the clothes back at me. "These better not be your ex-boyfriends or anything like that." His voice growled on the word boyfriend.
I snorted, the idea was so preposterous.
In one stride, he was filling the space in front of me, his hands grazing up my shoulders until his fingers captured my jaw and tilted my face to his. His kiss was long and lingering, and the kindle of desire spread through my warm body. I wanted him so bad. My chest heaved a shuddering sigh, and my nipples sprung to attention, brushing against his chest. When he pulled away, he kept his hand on my face as his eyes watched my face intently. "I can be very possessive. Some women find it a turn-off."
My cheeks flamed a scorching pink. "Is that so?"
"What are your thoughts on the subject?" His lips twitched and I wanted more than anything for him to kiss me again.
Opening my eyes wide I gave as innocent a shrug as I could muster. "I can't say I've ever given it much thought at all."
"Mm, I see." He dropped his hands, allowing them to fall by his naked hips and stalked back into the bathroom, retuning a few moments later with the shorts pulled on low, but the T-shirt still happily absent.
I took a moment to appreciate his form in all its glory. And there was a lot to appreciate. Bundled under one hand were his dirty clothes from the club. "Can I use your machine?"
A bubble of laughter exploded from my lips. The Lancashire Lion was standing in my spare room asking to use my washing machine, wearing only a pair of shorts, after last night doing things to my body that I'd only ever dreamt about.
"What's so funny?" he asked, his expression serious.
"Nothing, nothing at all."
"Does this dog ever get walked?" he asked as Jasper bounced around his bare feet.
"Yes, he does, sometimes."
The Lion lifted an eyebrow, and I put my hands on my hips.
"Look have you seen the size of my garden? He doesn't need walking that often."
He turned his eyes and cast them out to the huge garden that surrounded the house. "It's an impressive house."
I shrugged. "Yeah, well when Anthony and Vanessa died there was a lump sum insurance pay out. It was used to buy Sammy a home to grow up in, it's not technically mine."
His eyes held mine for a moment before he changed the subject. "So only three games left, do you think we will win the league?"
I slid my coffee mug towards me. "I hope so. I could do without getting the sack for you all being crap."
"Waller wouldn't get rid of you, he fancies you." He laughed though, and I knew he was joking.
I flung a tea towel at him. "Kiss my arse."
He wiggled his eyebrows, and my erratic brain went off on a tangent mulling over the fact I never thought he could be like this, not ever, not in a million years. "Did that already.” He smirked.
I was out of missiles to throw, short of a chopping knife. I didn't want to be the one imprisoned for accidentally murdering the Lancashire Lion, so I left it where it was.
"What do you think you will do, when the season is over, stay on?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I hope so. I need the stability for Sammy."
"Don't you miss playing, though? The thrill of it."
I shrugged. I thought I did. I wanted to believe that.
Pulling a face, he peered inside his coffee mug, apparently finding it empty when he slid it back onto the counter. "I can't imagine a life where I don't get to play. It's just unfeasible to me."
"Better hope Waller doesn't find out about last night. Otherwise, we are both sacked." Deep down I knew I would be the first to go. He was their star after all.
His fingers reached for mine and gave them a squeeze. "You know they can't ever know, right?"
My heart sank just a little bit before I pulled it back up and told myself not be so stupid. I always knew this would never be anything other than a one-off. "I know."
Lifting a hand, he traced delicate fingertips down the side of my cheek. "Remember you said you'd trust me?"
I thought back to the shower: him, me, his words, his touch. "Yes."
"Remember that."
I sighed, blasting a strand of hair off my face. "You're going to ignore me again tomorrow aren't you?"
The icy blues held mine, but this time I would try to convince myself they were melting as they looked at me. "Yep."
I couldn't even bring myself to be surprised. Cricket meant more to him than anything. Anything.
We played later that day for the local team. The rest of the players were quick to split us up again, although this time they were more excited for the Lion's incognito skills than mine—he thought this was hilarious. Afterwards, he convinced me to go for a drink on the green with the others, and we sat nursing two cokes, sitting slightly apart from the other players as they sank their pints or orange juices. Davies was looking at us oddly, but as the Lion kept his cap pulled down, and we didn't touch, or sit close enough to give anyone anything to gossip about he soon gave up trying to see under the faded peak of 'Jonathan's' cap. When I thought of calling the Lion 'Jonathan' in the shower the night before, I repeatedly blushed. And I thought about it a lot.
Eventually, he was going to comment. And he did.
"Can I ask why your face looks like you've been sucking chillies?"
I gulped down a mouthful of coke, nearly choking on an ice cube. "Nothing, I'm just hot that's all."
I was hot. It was sweltering and clammy, but that wasn't why my face was on fire.
He leant towards me, his body shifting into my space until it felt like our skin could connect through layers of cotton clothing. "Cut the crap, Rivers. You are remembering me eating your pussy." His voice was seductively low.
I spurted a mouthful of coke all over my whites my head spinning to make sure no one else heard his outrageous proclamation. My cheeks scorched a furious burn. "I’m not."
"I’m not."
"Liar."
He was gone by the time cars crunched up the gravel telling me Sammy was back. I flew out of the house and grabbed that little bundle of everything into my arms. "I've missed you." I kissed his hair, smelling that smell that was just him, and feeling the silky strands tickle my lips.
I glanced up as Vanessa's parents got out of the car. Sammy's grandfather got his bags out of the trunk. I breathed in deep. "Would you like to come in for tea? I know you've got a long drive home, but I'm sure Sammy would like you to tuck him in."
Blythe smiled at me, her face semi-frozen in surprise. "That would be lovely, Alyssa. Thank you."
"Lyssa, please." I ushered my hand towards the house. In the last eleven months they'd never come inside, but within me this weekend I felt a shift in my emotions. I didn't want to block people out anymore. These people were part of Sammy's life. They may be angry with my brother, and hell I didn't blame them, but that didn't mean they should be mad at me. And just like that the tight grasp the past had on me started to slip.
Jasper went crazy as we walked inside and I shushed him with my hands. He'd had far too much visitor excitement for one weekend, especially when the visitor had insisted on a two-hour mid-morning walk. "God, I'm sorry, he's a bit excitable."
"Jaaaasssper." The little guy launched himself at the dog, and they rolled on the floor while Blythe and Colin looked on with tight smiles across their faces. When the rolling and the licking was complete, Sammy scrambled from the ground and insisted on showing them his bedroom while I made the tea.
"AAAAGH."
His scream nearly brought down the house, and I pelted at full speed into his bedroom. "Where is it?" I dove through the door, searching out the spider attacking my nephew when I saw him clutching a card in his hand. It was gold, a grand master series playing card, limited edition. Across the bottom was a signature.
I wanted to die a little inside. More than that, I wanted to track the Lion down to his mysterious home that I'd never been invited to and kiss the hell out of him.
Colin took it from his hands and inspected. "Wow, that will be worth something."
Sammy snatched it back and clutched it to his chest. "It's mine."
Colin laughed and held up his hands. "Okay, little guy." My heart pierced when I heard Colin calling him 'little guy'. It was the nickname that Anthony had begun the day Sammy had been born when he'd rung us all from beside a crib and told us the little guy had arrived.
A tear rolled down my cheek. It was all too much. Too many memories, too many worries, too much anxiety, fear that people would think I was never good enough for Sammy when in truth I would die for him if I needed too. He was the nearest thing to having my own child I knew, and for that, I loved him even more.
Blythe stepped forward and flung her arms around me. "Come on," she said, turning me back for the hallway. Colin kept Sammy back, talking about the card that had been signed by a man I'd slept with and that there was a good chance I really, really liked. But who I knew wouldn't speak to me tomorrow because the game was more important. "What's wrong?" She asked when we arrived back in the kitchen, and it was clear that the tears weren't going to stop anytime soon.
I did that sob thing when you try and speak and cry at the same time. It was a noise of a farmyard variety.
"I don't want you to take Sammy away from me."
Her hands pushed on my shoulders. "What are you talking about, Alyssa?"
"You said," I brushed the back of my hand at my face, dashing at the droplets of water. "You said you were going to contest the will."
Her eyes widened. "Yes, nearly a year ago."
"But?"
She shook her head. "We were angry, hell we'd just lost our only daughter, but we respect her wishes even though she's not here anymore."
My body sagged. "So you’re never going to take him away from me?"
She looked at me in amazement. "Do you have any idea how much that child loves you? You are all he's talked about all weekend, you and the Lancashire Lion. You're a hero in his eyes."
I flushed. "We're just friends," I assured her.
Her hand landed on my shoulder. "We know what you've given up for our grandson; just make sure that you are happy as well."
I breathed in and out a few times, something very close to how I’d imagine Lamaze breathing sounds. "Oh." And that's all I had to say. The little universe I'd carved out for my little guy and me, exploded into a world of possibilities.
"And you wouldn't mind if I played again?" I'd never considered it as an option. I'd locked the desire so deep within myself that I hadn't given a chance for the idea to develop.
"I thought you were injured?"
My cheeks flamed. "Oh, yes."
Blythe looked at me in horror. "Oh, you crazy child." And she gathered me in her arms and I fell into that strange scent all mothers had that hinted at comfort and understanding and perhaps just a little ridicule.
Later, once I'd made some green tea for myself and located the last of my parents’ bottles of wine so Blythe could have a drink, she straightened herself in her seat. Sammy had been in bed for an hour, but they were still here, talking to me. It was weird, and then it became even weirder.
"We wanted to talk to you, actually, Alyssa," she said. My stomach dropped and tightened into a bowling ball.
"Yes."
"Well we don't want to encroach on your space here, and we know you have a lovely housekeeper who Sammy adores, and we would never want to change that…"
"Yes?" My voice tightened a notch.
"But, well, we are retired, there's nothing tying us to the Midlands. We were wondering if we should look at a house down this way so we can help more. We would love that, and then maybe you could, I don't know..."
A bristle ran along my spine and I dropped my teacup onto the table where it rattled precariously. "Mum and Dad offered as well you know, but we didn't want to upset you."
"I'm sure," her face flickered as she watched me sloshing green tea. "No one is fighting you, Alyssa. You don’t have to be on the defensive all the time."
Weren't they? Because I'd spent the last year thinking that a fight was coming my way and my defences had been constantly up in ways that when I thought about it was entirely absorbing and exhausting.
We finished our drinks, and they were heading out of the door when Blythe turned. "Thank you for inviting us in. I'm hoping we can start afresh?" I nodded, that damn obstruction back in my throat, which I had to swallow around to enable speech. "Oh, we were thinking of taking Sammy to Disneyland Paris the weekend of the anniversary. We thought it might help take his mind off everything, and maybe make things easier for you too. We know it's not our weekend, though."
I counted the weeks in my head until that fateful day. I didn't know why I hadn't made the connection before. My heart sank to the soles of my feet.
"But that's the last game of the season. I'm hoping we will be in the final."
There was awkward silence while I fiddled with the hem of my T-shirt and sought out the right words to say. "You guys could come if you like? My parents will be there, and I was hoping Sammy would."
Colin's face lit like a light bulb. "Sounds much better than Disneyland if you ask me." These were the first words he'd uttered all night, and I had a feeling that chief communicator wasn't his role in their relationship.
"Deal then?" I said.
Colin shook my hand, but Blythe gave me a hug. "Better make sure the Red Cats are in that final," he said.
My mind spun back over the events of the weekend. More to the point I would be making sure I still had a job at the final.