As soon as the shock wore off, Josh would get a piece of my mind.

The sting of salt water burned the inside of my nose and seared my throat. He brought me up against his chest and leaned back as his arms stretched out, moving us further from the boat. When there was one splash and then another, signaling a moment where we wouldn’t be overheard, Josh let go of me and said, “I’m sorry. She asked me if I loved you and wouldn’t let it go.”

“So you threw me overboard and followed it up by kissing me while I was choking on salt water?” I snapped as we tread water, scowling at one another.

“You were about to lose your shit on me. What was I supposed to do?”

I didn’t have a good answer to that. He’d done the only thing he could have thought to do. “Can you at least try not to drown me next time, Romeo?”

“Keep it up and I’ll dunk you again,” he warned.

“You’d have to catch me first.” I dragged my arm along the top of the water and, at the last second, splashed him right in the face.

“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that,” he said, diving under just as Allyson and Alex swam past us.

I swam back toward the boat. Arms and legs pushing as hard as they could, overconfident in my swimming abilities.

He popped up beside me, blocking the ladder. “You want up?”

“Do you want snorkeling gear?” I countered, reaching for the ladder.

“Mmm. Might have to pay the toll.” He darted a look over my shoulder, and then cupped my neck, dragging me against him. His lips brushed mine as he said, “We’re being watched.”

“Oooh, tone it down, Izzy. You might catch the water on fire,” Allyson called out from somewhere behind me.

“My Ella isn’t big on public displays of affection,” he said, moving so I could put both hands on the ladder.

Once on board I grabbed our snorkeling gear, and then tossed it down to Josh before scanning the turquoise blue water. It was clear enough to see the bottom, but there was no sign of Alex and Allyson. “Where’d they go?”

Josh pointed behind the boat. “That way. Which means, we’re going that way.” He pointed toward the stern. “Saves us from seeing any underwater groping.”

“Good thinking. As odd as it sounds, I hope they get it all out of their system back there.”

There was a lot that could be said about becoming a part of the water-world. It was like being enveloped in the earth’s womb. Warm and quiet. Peaceful. It was nice snorkeling, but I’d have much preferred diving so I wasn’t forced to hug the surface to get air. I’d never really gotten the hang of snorkeling, as crazy as that sounded. Either let me free dive, or give me a regulator and tanks.

I wasn’t sure how long we moved around the coral reefs close to the boat, but it seemed like there was always something new to see. Schools of fish darted around us. Some curious, some scattering if we got too close to them. They were a rainbow of moving color against the coral reef backdrop of swaying seaweed. We lost ourselves to the enjoyment of the sea, only going up for air before descending again each of us pointing when something caught our eye. We worked well together underwater. The perfect buddy system, so when Josh signaled he was going up I followed, kicking to the surface.

“Fins,” he warned, pointing out into the distance.

“And that’s our cue.” I swam back toward the boat, hightailing it to safety.

“Could be dolphins,” Josh said as we approached the ladder.

“It’s possible, but I’d rather find out from the deck.” I moved to the other side of the boat, waiting for either Allyson or Alex to surface.

Alex came up first and I waved to him, getting his attention. He nodded. “Saw them. Just dolphins,” he said, moving around the boat with Allyson.

Josh raised his eyebrows. “Want to get back in?”

I held my pruned hands out. “Nah, I think I’ve had enough water for the day.”

Josh put his next to mine. “I wonder why water only does that to your palms and the bottom of your feet?”

“Softest skin, maybe?” I said, wrapping a towel around me and moving to the other side of the boat to better see the dolphins.

Josh dug around inside the cooler on deck and grabbed two beers, handing one of them to me before taking a seat next to me while the dolphins put on a grand show.

“Did you know that dolphins mate for fun and not just reproduction?” Josh asked as I turned to sit lengthwise on the bench seat.

“Says who?” I glanced briefly over my shoulder at him.

He looked at me funny. “Didn’t you ever watch the Discovery Channel?”

I thought about it for a moment, sipping on my beer. “Can’t say I ever really paid much attention to it if I did,” I finally answered with a small shrug.

He chuckled as the boat rocked slightly from side to side. “I hope they’re ready to go soon. I’m getting hungry.”

I shook my head. “After all those tacos?”

“Swimming burns a lot of energy,” he answered.

“Well, in that case, those two should be starving by now with all their aquatic exercise.”

Josh busted out laughing, the sound surprisingly growing on me. His laughter was deep and genuine, and oddly had a way of settling me.

I moved away, seeking a spot to lay down where I could soak up the afternoon sun. It would also give me a little space from the intensity of his eyes and how they watched me. Distance was the best way to avoid feelings of attachment I wasn’t looking to feel.

I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple.

Josh followed me, stopping just behind me. “Want some sunscreen? Getting a burn on the first day out would suck.”

I unwrapped my towel and knelt to spread it out, swearing I heard Josh gasp. I glanced over my shoulder, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking out over the water, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Do we have sunscreen?” I asked as I sat, draping my arms over my knees.

“Hmm?” he said, his eyes looking at some point over my shoulder rather than at me. “Oh, umm… I’m not sure. Let me go check.”

He hurried away, disappearing below deck.

I forced my gaze back onto the water, watching the sunlight glitter across the surface like tiny jewels. Male minds were an enigma to me. Even Trent’s. From the very beginning, I’d misread signals. Misread things he said and didn’t say. Men thought women were hard to understand. At least woman said what they meant or felt. Men just shied away from hearing it, and the reasons why would forever remain a mystery.

I gave up trying to puzzle it out and laid face down on the towel, bringing my arms up to rest my head on them. Although the deck was hard, it was warm and, more importantly, it was flat. The breeze picked up slightly, cooling my skin as the sun beat down on me. I couldn’t remember the last time I laid perfectly still and just breathed. It felt alarmingly good. Something I realized I needed to do more of.

“Found some,” Josh said a little later, his shadow falling over me as he moved to sit beside me. He put a hand on my shoulder, keeping me from rolling over to sit up, and said, “I’ll get your back.”

When he was finished, he laid a towel beside mine and stretched out with a yawn. We stayed like that for a while, a healthy silence hanging between us.

Later, when I felt myself beginning to drift, I heard him say, “I could go to sleep right now.”

“Mmm,” I answered, allowing my eyes to close briefly. 

“Who’s hungry?” Allyson said from somewhere above me as small drops of icy water hit my skin. I tried to sit up, but there was an arm draped over me. It pulled me hard against a warm chest, the owner of it nuzzling his face into my neck with random mumbled words.

“Tell ya what… Alex and I will be below deck changing. Come get us when you’re ready to leave,” she said, padding off as quietly as she’d approached.

I came fully awake when Josh’s hand found my breast and grazed his thumb against the pebbled tip—a leftover reaction from the water Allyson had dripped on me.

“Josh…” I pulled his hand away and rolled onto my stomach so I could get my knees under me to stand.

He rolled, pinning me to the deck, body pressing against my back.

“Josh!” I said his name, trying not to speak too loud, but wanting to get his attention.

He moved against me, muddling my thoughts. Making me want things I’d long denied myself. I had to put a quick end to it before it got out of hand.

“Josh,” I hissed his name again, but wherever he was in his dreams, he couldn’t hear me.

His body was strung tight. It resonated with a vibration that shuddered through me. Want and need hammering in his veins. I knew it only because it echoed in my own. If I didn’t stop him, there would be no turning back. No undoing it.

His hand moved, fingers digging into my hips. His own hips pushed against my backside.

“Josh, wake up. You need to wake up.” I rolled as much as I could from one hip to the other.

He woke with a suddenness that startled us both. With one move, he was on his knees. I rolled over, sitting up and watching him scrub his hands down his face with a groan.

“Josh?”

He jerked back, shot to his feet, and then dove over the side of the boat.

I scrambled over to the side and watched him swim underwater, silvery bubbles trailing behind him and popping at the surface. He came up for a breath, and then went back down again several times before returning to the boat.

I met him at the top of the ladder, but he wouldn’t even look at me.

I moved back, giving him room to board, and then he turned his back and pulled the ladder up. His shoulders were set with tension as he stored the ladder. I followed him and stood right behind him, forcing him to look at me when he turned around. “I can’t pretend to know what’s going on inside your head; I won’t even try. But whatever it is? Let it go for now before they come up and wonder what the hell happened. Okay?”

He nodded, still unable to look at me. I felt a pang of regret in my gut. It wasn’t easy. Not for either of us.

“Josh.” I said his name softly, stepping closer to him, reaching for his arm.

“Aren’t you two the sweetest,” Allyson said as she came up behind me.

“What are you doing up here?” I asked, sounding more than a little annoyed. “I thought you were waiting below until I came and got you.”

She shrugged, twisting her hair over her shoulder. “Couldn’t help it. Caught a glimpse of you two a little earlier and wowza. Your restraint is commendable, Josh, but you didn’t need to hold back on our account. We would have left you alone.”

I felt the heat of embarrassment light up my face. “Says the voyeur who was watching us,” I snapped.

She blew me off with a wave. “Total accident. Got turned around down there and thought I was looking out over the back of the boat.”

I placed my hands on my hips as Josh gathered up our towels, surely avoiding the rant to come. “So you thought since you’d already saw a little bit, you might just as well keep watching?”

I was furious. Beyond furious.

But Allyson never was one to be put off by someone else’s anger. She stepped closer to me, looking right through me enough to make me squirm. “It’s totally not my business, but I have to ask… I saw your face, Izzy. You would have taken whatever he wanted to give you and damn the consequences, but you?” She looked to Josh, raising her eyebrows. “You stopped yourself, and then jumped overboard. Now I’m wondering why you would do that. That’s not a typical guy’s response to a willing woman, and I can’t come up with one single reason. So, either you two are faking this whole being in love thing, or he’s secretly gay and doesn’t know how to tell you,” Allyson said, putting her hands on her hips to look between the two of us.

“Ally,” I warned, my stomach sloshing harder than the boat.

Her eyebrow quirked. “Izzy.”

Josh put his hand on my shoulder, moving in behind me. “I don’t mean to be rude, Allyson, but what happens or doesn’t happen between us is none of your business.”

Her eyes widened as she said, “Oh my God. You’re a virgin.”

She didn’t let it go at that. She gasped, clapped her hands, and then giggled. “And you’re waiting until you get married!”

“That’s…” I struggled for words as a bubble of laughter built somewhere inside of me.

Josh let go of my shoulder. “We don’t need to explain,” he said, the words clipped.

“I know just how to put the both of you out of your misery. A wedding at sea! Oh, it’ll be perfect!” Allyson said, and then she grabbed me into a hug and spun me around the deck.

“No, Ally,” I said, halting her before she got too carried away.

She wasn’t having it. “Yes, Izzy.”

“No.”

She rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth at me. “Put that poor man out of his misery and marry him so he can finally get what he so desperately wants.”

“What is it the man desperately wants?” Alex asked as he walked up, looking at the varying emotions on each of our faces.

Allyson beamed. “Her. He really wants her, but he’s waiting until they’re married. It’s so romantic.”