Chapter Twenty
Seb followed Jenna off the transport, hurrying to conceal themselves behind another ship in the next bay that looked like it’d been parked for repairs and forgotten about a decade ago. No doubt the ground MPs were already mobilizing to find them.
Though he’d turned off the ship’s tracking beacon, the Knox still would have used advanced radar technology to find their ship. Plus, Bren would have notified the base as soon as he’d cut communications. He’d conferred briefly with ground command for a clear flight path, letting them think he was surrendering when he touched down. But instead of landing on the pad they’d designated, he’d picked a rarely used one on the outer edge of the base that would give them a few crucial moments to disembark and hide.
“So what’s the next move in this little clandestine operation?” he asked as Jenna crouched near the short wing half covered by a tarp.
She pulled out the datapad, and he got the sense that somehow, even though she had her attention trained on the screen, she was fully aware of everything around her.
“Now we hack into base security and let ourselves out.”
Like it was that easy. “Wasn’t security heightened after the bombing at the old base?”
“Yes, but all those measures are to stop people getting in, not people wanting to get out. So if we do happen to make it back from behind enemy lines after we’ve sighted the wreckage, it’ll be harder to sneak back in.”
That wasn’t something he was going to worry about now. They had enough obstacles, and everyone seemed to think that coming back alive was an impossibility, so planning how to get back in was probably a big fat waste of time.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been making light of this admittedly moronic suicide mission. He’d done stupid, dangerous things and defied orders before, but nothing like this.
Even if Jenna could get answers from Lawler, it would more than likely get them both killed. But he had to go through with it. It would haunt him for the rest of his life if he didn’t find out whether Lawler had escaped and survived. He would spend every waking moment, every time they faced the enemy, wondering if Lawler was in the background feeding the enemy every personal tidbit he’d ever learned.
And the sexcapades in the locker before coming down here had been a bad idea. They were probably damn lucky they hadn’t been caught. But after finding out about Lawler, after getting sedated by those traitorous jackholes he called friends, he’d felt raw. Had this tense, wild fury deep inside him he couldn’t shift, the intensity of which actually freaked his crap out.
And then Jenna had been there, lithe and sexy, vivacious and formidable, and he’d grabbed onto her like a spacewalker on an anchor line. The fire she lit within him had burned everything else away, giving him relief from the sentiments of betrayal and anger that he hated feeling.
“Come on.”
Jenna pushing to her feet and ducking around the back of the tarped shuttle roused him out of the admittedly enjoyable recollections from that time they’d spent in the locker.
“Where are we going?” he asked as they wove through the maintenance workshop, avoiding a small group of four staffers on the far side of the hangar.
“There’s a wheeled transport of supplies leaving the base, headed for the front lines in just a few minutes. If we can get on it, that’s our best bet for getting out.”
At the doorway of the maintenance bay, she paused by an open-faced locker to grab a base uniform jacket and shrug into it. He followed her lead, finding a larger coat, slipping it on as they headed outside. Just as they exited, a group of soldiers appeared at the far end of the walkway, jogging toward the hangar. Without a word, he and Jenna scurried to duck into the next building.
Seb cracked the door a bare half inch as the soldier passed, cursing under his breath at the CO leading them.
“What’s wrong?” Jenna whispered beside him.
“It’s Colonel Cameron McAllister, one of the base commanders. He’s leading the MPs. Bren or Alpha must have contacted him. If he sees me, I’m done.”
“Then let’s get off base ASAP.”
They left the doorway, and once they’d cleared the maintenance hangars, Jenna didn’t bother sneaking and looking for cover any longer. She walked right down the middle of the path as if she belonged there, with a direction in mind and duty to attend.
“It’s freaky when you do that,” he murmured.
“Do what?”
“I don’t know. Just, like, settle into a place like you’ve been there all your life and it’s exactly where you’re meant to be. No one ever looks twice at you.”
Which he didn’t understand at all. Ever since he’d gotten a glimpse of Jenna’s real face, he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her.
“Well I wouldn’t be a very successful agent if I stood out in a crowd, now, would I?”
They reached the end of the buildings and walked across an open stretch of grass. Jenna stopped by a bench set under a tree, which was probably a spot many people came to eat lunch. From here, they had a direct line to the east gate and heavily guarded perimeter fence.
“Okay, the transport should be coming along from the supply depot any second.” Jenna glanced down at her datapad, and then at the main path which cut through the center of the base. “There.”
She nodded at the large, wheeled transport trundling along, clearly weighted with supplies covered by tarps. The vehicle could be sent out unmanned, but in this case, there were two soldiers riding shotgun. Probably on the small chance that the CSS tried to intercept the transport and steal the supplies.
“How are we going to get on without anyone noticing?”
Jenna didn’t look the least bit worried. “Just give it a second.”
The transport stopped at the gate, and a few other soldiers did a cursory check, lifting the tarps and checking the supply schedule.
Just as they were finishing up, Jenna ducked her head and typed a couple of commands into her datapad. A spilt-second later, an alarm sounded, mobilizing the soldiers who’d been checking the transport.
They hurriedly waved the transport on, then left only a few of the guards on the gate and fence and ran off along the perimeter.
“Quick. Now’s our chance.”
She dashed into a run, and it took him a second to catch up with the plan she hadn’t bothered to explain. The girl was fast, and he didn’t manage to catch her until they’d reached the transport, which rumbled into slow motion and started rolling through the gates. Because the few remaining soldiers were too busy looking after their companions, no one saw them clamber into the back of the transport.
There wasn’t much room, but they managed to squeeze behind the tarp into a space between a couple of crates, which meant they could sit.
“What did you do?” he asked once they were well away from the gates.
“Created a minor malfunction on two of the other gates that may have made them think someone was trying to get in. But it was just a dummy program. It didn’t actually compromise base security.”
“I’m beginning to think you actually enjoy creating chaos.”
An impertinent smile tilted up her lips. “There’s a kind of mastery in creating exactly the right amount of chaos for my benefit.”
Her smile started doing unsettling things to his insides, which made it hard to glare back at her. “I get the feeling that’d be all good until I was one of the poor saps who got caught up in your wake.”
She didn’t answer, but her smile widened, clearly biding her time until breaking out the next round of anarchy.
“So I assume we’re not riding this baby all the way to the frontlines.”
She shook her head. “I’ve pinpointed the best location to hop off. It’ll put us within reasonable distance of an area where the lines aren’t heavily patrolled and we can cross over. It’s a spot I’ve used several times in the past.”
“When you say reasonable distance…?”
She shrugged. “A day’s walk. Maybe a little more.”
“A day?” He crossed his arms. “Walking is a crime against technology. I’m boosting the first shuttle or ship I see.”
“Because there won’t already be enough transgressions listed on your charge sheet if you make it back for the court-marital?”
Though the trouble he’d face if or when he made it back had been lurking in the recesses of his mind, he hadn’t let himself think too closely about it. Jenna’s words, though probably not intentional, sobered his mood right up. He’d been riding a little post-pleasure high since the trip down, but reality up and bitch slapped him.
“Yeah, I’m probably going to be suspended, if not outright removed from my post. At this point, stealing a ship or shuttle probably couldn’t make things worse.”
She took his hand. “Don’t worry, Seb. If we make back in one piece, we’ll figure something out.”
“Back to the fun and games of you hiding from CI and someone wanting me dead just because I was apparently the last person to see you alive?”
Her grip tightened. “Okay, so maybe not that.”
The totality of his situation suddenly struck him like arriving at the bottom of a hill and finding a mountain instead—immense and insurmountable.
“What if there’s no point in going back?” The words spilled out of his mouth before he’d even thought about it, leaving Jenna looking stunned.
But he didn’t mean it. Did he? No. He’d always been a fighter pilot. He didn’t know how to do anything else. He didn’t want to do anything else. But there was no denying Lawler’s betrayal had destroyed something inside him. Had damaged the foundations of his confidence in himself and his judgment. The fact that he’d never noticed a single clue that Lawler was a bastard CSS traitor made him question everything he’d ever believed about himself. And with his self-assurance shot, there was no way he could slip into his jet and hit the battlefront, not without putting himself and the entire squad in danger. If he took even one moment to second-guess a decision, it could mean the difference between life-and-death for him or someone else. Someone like Alpha or Bren.
“What are you talking about? The Knox is your home. You’ve got your team and your friends. They’re like family.”
“And what if I put them all in danger?” He lowered his head to stare at his hands. “What if next time I go out on a mission, I get one of them killed?”
She set a hand on his jaw and urged him to look back up at her. “What do you mean? You’re one of the best pilots on squad. In fact, you’re probably the best.”
“Maybe I was, but that was before. For the past few weeks, ever since Lawler, it’s like I’ve been playing a part. Like the real Seb checked out when Lawler was exposed, and ever since, there’s been a shadow left in place, going through the motions, putting up the usual front. But that’s all it is. A front. And anytime now, everyone is going to see through it. Or I’ll get someone killed, and that’ll be on me, too.” He sucked in a breath, like the air was suddenly too thick to breathe. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep marching on. That’s why I need to see whether or not the bastard is dead. Because if I don’t, every time we get attacked, every time we go into battle, every time someone dies, that’s going to be on me as well, because he knows everything about us, and I let him walk away. I have to make this right. Not anyone else.”
She cupped his face, no judgment or pity in her gaze—he couldn’t have taken it if she’d looked at him like that. There was simply easy acceptance and understanding.
“Whatever you need, Seb, whatever you want to do, I’m here.”
He let out a long breath, some of the tension he’d been carrying around in the past weeks draining from his body. “If I wanted to disappear, get away from this war, from whoever wants me dead, and all the complications of today’s little defiance, you could make it happen?”
She nodded, shifting to sit right next to him, her shoulder against his. “If that’s what you really want when this is all over, then yes, I can make that happen. It’s probably what I should do myself before CI works out I’m still alive.”
“I always liked horses. Never actually saw a real one, mind you, being a city boy and all. But maybe we could buy a ranch and have little baby horses. Be all quaint and boring for the rest of our lives.”
“They’re called foals.” There was a definite note of humor in her response.
“Huh?” He tilted his head to look down at her.
“The baby horses? They’re called foals.”
He dropped an arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer. “See? I’m learning new stuff already. I’ll be awesome at ranching, or whatever you call it.”
“I think the horses might share a different opinion.”
He grinned at her taunt, but neither of them said anything else. Seb closed his eyes, resting his cheek against the top of Jenna’s head, for a moment pretending that life was simple, that he and Jenna could just walk away for a less complicated existence and never look back.
But despite what he’d said, despite the fantasy tempting a small part of his battered, war-wearied soul, he’d never be able to do it. He owed too much to his squad and himself to just check out. No. If he was serious about leaving, he should do it the right way—resign his commission and wrap up his extensive tour. But the notion of requesting the files and forms to fill out made his stomach feel like it were full of rocks and his heart skip a beat. The sensation said he wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon, no matter what happened after today.
“The transport is going to slow down in a minute. There’s a checkpoint ahead, but we need to get off before we get too close.” Jenna shifted over to the tarp and took a quick look out.
“Ready?” She glanced back at him, and he confirmed with a nod. After waiting a beat, she slipped the tarp open and jumped out. He caught sight of her rolling once, then landing in a crouch and disappearing into a nearby stand of trees. No matter how many times he got a glimpse of her skills, they still surprised the heck out of him. The woman was one serious operator.
With a half breath in, and knowing he wouldn’t be anywhere near as nimble, Seb jumped out, trying to mimic her roll and not take the impact too hard in his knees and ankles. But it wasn’t as easy as she made it look. He couldn’t stop his momentum, and rolled several times, ending up in a heap on his back as the transport disappeared around a slight bend in the road.
With a few muttered curses—particularly at his aching hip and recently injured shoulder—he pushed himself up and tried not to limp over to where Jenna had disappeared. When he rounded the shrubs, he found her grinning at him.
“Don’t say a word,” he warned her, noticing now that his elbow was also smarting like maybe he’d grazed it.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, only that your technique was rather interesting.”
He sent her a frown, which only made her grin widen. “Some of us have been trained to use parachutes when we eject from a moving object.”
She took the datapad out again, made a quick check of the screen—to confirm their position he supposed—and then slipped the jacket off.
“Come on, I have to make a detour.”
Following her lead and taking off his jacket, he wadded it up and shoved it under his arm, though he was wearing an off-duty Knox uniform that would still be recognized by the CSS forces. Simple removal of the jacket wouldn’t be much of an improvement once they crossed enemy lines.
He trailed Jenna as she tracked deeper into the sparse woods until they came to the charred remains of a cabin. The surrounding forest and ground were also burned as though some serious ammo had detonated here at some stage. Nature had started reclaiming the blackened, dead areas, putting his estimate of destruction at around two or three years ago.
Jenna stopped at one of the two remaining cabin walls and shifted some debris, tugging out a large, wrapped package. A backpack.
In a matter of seconds, she’d stuffed the jacket and datapad away and pulled out a shapeless gray coat and loose pants. Another garment followed, which she tossed at his chest. He caught it and shook it loose. This was a longer, wider coat, in a color that was somehow not brown, but also not gray. No, the unattractive shade landed somewhere right in the middle.
By the time he’d finished giving it an unimpressed once-over, Jenna had pulled the pants and jacket over her shipwear.
“Put that on. We need to blend in once we’ve crossed the lines.”
He held it up to himself, the garment reaching just past his knees. “How come I get the dress?”
She shrugged as she stood. “I didn’t expect to have to cater for a rather large man when I left this go bag here. Plus, I thought you might have the legs for it.”
“Ha ha.” He handed off the base jacket, which she also stuffed into her pack, before shoving his arms into the coat.
“Make sure you fasten it as well.”
He frowned as he did up the clasps. Though it was like wearing a sack, he could see the appeal. If he could get his hands on any decent weapons, they’d be easy enough to conceal under the voluminous folds.
Jenna secured the backpack low on her front. He was about to ask what she was doing, when she fastened the coat over and her intention became loud and clear.
“Now, honey.” She finished with the clasps and then set one hand at her lower back, thrusting the bulk at her stomach forward. “We need to make it into the city for better medical care when the baby arrives.”
He gave a short laugh and then caught her free hand, guiding her forward. “Well that’s certainly one way of disguising yourself. But won’t people be more likely to notice a pregnant woman waddling around?”
She smacked him in the stomach. “I will not waddle. And they’ll notice the belly, yes, but likely not my face, and more importantly, not you. It’s a known fact that men become invisible when a woman is pregnant.”
“Noted. Next time I’m in danger, I’ll hide behind the first pregnant woman I see.”
She sent him an exasperated look. “You’re terrible. Come on, I want to get across the lines before it gets dark.”
With a few nimble moves that a pregnant woman definitely wouldn’t have achieved, Jenna had extricated herself from the ruins of the cabin, glancing back at him with an expression that said are-you-coming-or-what, the gleam in her gaze hinting at the fun she expected to have with their latest cover story.
The dappled light shining through the trees caught the gold highlights in her hair, and while the rough garments should have looked unflattering, her fake pregnant belly awkward, Seb was struck by exactly how beautiful she was. And it hit him like taking a blow right to the sternum, leaving him winded for a long second. The idea of her pregnant and happy with his child lodged into his mind, leaving him yearning for something he hadn’t even known he wanted.
Hell, if they actually managed to get out of this mess alive and ended up going their separate ways, the woman was going to leave him ruined for anyone else.
So maybe he needed to find a way to keep her.
But first, he had enemy territory to cross and inner demons to slay. Only then, could he think about going forward.