The Law of Attraction

“Obviously. All charges held for trial. Schedule it.” He banged his gavel. That, thankfully, was the last case of the day. Braden brought me the order and Mr. Sanchez, the industrious armed robber, was led away.

“No deal.”

“What? What do you mean no deal?”

“Gabrielle, the man worked the counter for eight hours with the owner tied up behind him. It’s all on video. I would have to try really hard to lose this case at trial.”

“You want to waste your time trying this? What is it you think I would say to the twelve jurors who gave up their day for that great example of the criminal justice system in action?”

“Maybe you could put on your ‘everybody has a right to a trial’ defense.”

“You know, I’m going to win with that one someday, baby. You had just better watch out.”

“Look, I won’t object to him pleading guilty.”

“With no agreement? How kind of you! Well, at least people won’t question whether I’m trading sexual favors for deals.”

“Wait a minute! You never said that was on the table!” he joked.

“I may have no other choice. He worked the freaking cash register for eight hours to get more money! On camera! C’mon, big boy. I’ll let you cuff me for plea to unlawful restraint with a two year cap.” I winked.

“Pack up your stuff and come with me,” he said, shaking his head and packing up his own files. I packed up all of my files and followed him out of the courtroom. I saw that we were headed toward the onsite DA’s offices where prosecutors prepared witnesses and negotiated plea bargains. We went in and he led me to an open interview room, shutting the door behind us. I figured that he had taken pity on me and would throw some kind of bone.

“So, you want to discuss a deal after all?” I asked seriously.

“I’ll think about it, but don’t expect it to be generous, and I won’t offer anything if the victim objects.”

“Okay?” I said, feeling a little confused. “I guess I can understand that. So why did you want to come here?”

“Because I want to kiss that saucy mouth.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised, and felt goose bumps form on my arms. We were at work. This was… different. He walked over and stood right in front of me. I could feel heat radiating from his body and, God, he smelled good. He grabbed my chin and tipped my head back. Then he looked intently into my eyes for a second, leaned down, and I could feel his warm breath and sense his lips about to brush mine, when he pulled back, teasing me. I opened my eyes again, unsure what to do and afraid to move. I was about to start panting and a small whimper escaped my throat.

It seemed to fire him up and his mouth came down on mine hard and took total possession of it. So far he had been a slow, sensuous kisser but today he was more greedy and demanding, almost dominating, and I’m not ashamed to tell you that I liked it! He reached inside my suit jacket and ran his fingers lightly along my back, sending shivers up and down my spine and I felt my lower regions heating up and liquefying. After melting my panties for a few minutes he pulled back.

“I have a confession. I tend to get a lot of adrenaline flowing in court,” he said in a husky voice. “When I’m in court with you, I also tend to get a lot of testosterone flowing. The combination fires up my libido like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I should argue with you more often,” I replied a little breathlessly.

“You argue with me all the time. We’re lawyers. And you’ve been driving me crazy for quite a while now. If we hadn’t started dating I probably would have banged half the women in this courthouse.”

“I thought that you had banged half the women in this courthouse.”

“Okay, the other half.”

“You know, I think I’m happy that I’m a lawyer. And, believe me, I don’t say that a lot.”

“Nobody says that a lot. I really need to have some hot sweaty monkey sex with you on Friday. And when I say “some” I mean hours’ worth. I’m talking getting seriously freaky until we pass out.”

“That’s the best offer you’ve made me all day. You know that if I wind up trying this dumbass case, I’m going to make you use that adrenaline and testosterone to service me all night.”

“Well then, we’ll definitely need to sleep in the next day. Now I have to get out of here before I hit the floor… with you under me.”

Tuesday

Commonwealth v. Murphy

My client, Ms. Brandy Murphy, had elected to go non-jury for her simple assault trial. That meant that the judge would determine whether or not she was guilty of assaulting her boyfriend Mr. Vinnie Virillo, who was presently testifying for the Commonwealth. The fates were smiling down on Ms. Murphy. That morning Judge Channing had awoken with a case of the runs, and sitting in for him was Judge Anita Blasko, President of the Women’s Bar Association. The courtroom also happened to be packed with women who had dated at least one Vinnie Virillo in their lives.

“Mr. Virillo, can you please describe for the judge what led to the police arriving at your house on April sixteenth of this year?” Braden asked the witness.

“I was in bed with my girlfriend and she started beating on me, so I got up and ran, and she ran after me and the neighbor called the cops.”

“Let’s go back, you were in bed with your girlfriend and what specifically happened?” More like what hadn’t happened, I thought cynically. I tried to keep my expression neutral even though Mr. Virillo had the same effect on my stomach as mixing a few gin martinis, a bottle of red wine, some orange Gatorade and a Twinkie. Don’t ask how I know that.

“We were having sex, you know? I got off, but she didn’t, and she was really pissed, sorry, mad, because I ain’t been trying too hard lately if you know what I mean.” Many women sitting in the courtroom waiting for cases knew what he meant, because I heard some angry female grumbling coming from behind me.

“Are you saying that she became angry because you reached orgasm before she did?” Let me just take a moment here to give myself some credit and point out as an aside that I have some pretty mad concentration skills, because hearing Braden Pierce say the word “orgasm” was almost enough to make me actually have one… okay, back to business.

“Not before I did!” My client got up from the defense table and yelled at Braden. “That selfish bastard don’t care if I ever do!” One of the spectators tossed out a, “you tell ‘em, honey!”