The Law of Attraction

“I know we’ve only had a couple of dates, and so we haven’t really gotten very far with the physical side of our relationship yet,” he said as soon as the door was closed behind us, “but please f**king tell me that you realize that I wasn’t excusing his performance. I wish that she had beaten him!”

“If you say so,” I teased. “I don’t know though, sometimes I think you guys all stick together.”

“Oh come on! I wanted to apologize to every woman in that courtroom and then I wanted to grab you and take you back to my place and make you come like ten times.”

“Oh my! You’re much more ‘virile – o’ than I realized.”

“Oh, that was bad.” He winced.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been dying to say it.” I gave him a lascivious look. “Feel free to do that on Friday by the way. In fact, maybe I’ll just add that to the list of things that I want to do, since it’s my turn to choose.” He was looking at me like maybe he wasn’t going to wait until Friday.

“Just for the record, Harvard desperately wants to go down at this moment and there are only two things stopping me from just locking the door right now. One, that I don’t want either one of us to ever associate sexual arousal with Vinnie Virillo, and two, I’m not really sure that it does lock.”

“Ooh. I thought that I was excited just because I won a trial and exonerated an innocent woman, but after hearing that, I’m actually tingling.”

“It’s the adrenaline,” he said with a suggestive look. “Maybe I’ll have to let you win more often.”

“You didn’t let me win and it’s more than adrenaline!” I laughed.

“I’m only kidding.” He grinned. “I want to kiss you again, in lots of places, but I don’t think I should. I’m pretty tingly too and I sense my good judgment rapidly going straight to hell.”

“Adrenaline?”

“And testosterone.” His eyes roamed over my body and came to rest on the top button of my blouse. “Shit! I’m so turned on right now. The fact that it’s after that case is almost enough to make me seek counseling.”

I let my eyes roam a little too and I could actually see how turned on he was. Oh my! I hadn’t even touched him. He was a healthy boy. “Okay,” I said throatily. “I’m feeling too tingly now. I need to go or I’m going to start begging you to do some really naughty things and I don’t want to wake up with you here tomorrow morning.” He took a deep breath and he was looking kind of flushed. I probably looked like I just ran ten miles.

“Yeah, we need to go. Now,” he said clearing his throat and raking his fingers through his hair. He pulled his suit jacket closed and buttoned it. Then he took out some files to strategically carry in front of him. As we walked out together I wondered if we would really make it to Friday.

Wednesday

Commonwealth v. McBride

“I'm sorry Your Honor, but I just don't see how a Taco Bell burrito can be considered a deadly weapon,” I said in exasperation.

“Perhaps Ms. Ginsberg hasn't eaten at Taco Bell lately,” Braden responded.

“I don't know Mr. Pierce. I think I'm actually with Ms. Ginsberg on this one,” Judge Channing replied. “Okay, I'm going to dismiss the aggravated assault and bind this over for trial as a simple assault.” He banged his gavel and I returned to counsel table. Braden came over with the judge's order a moment later.

“Aggravated assault? With a burrito?”

“It was worth a try,” he smiled. “You could have pleaded it down. I would have offered you a good deal. And I personally think that Taco Bell food should be outlawed anyway.”

“So you had an agenda.”

“Mr. Pierce, call the next case,” Judge Channing barked.

“Commonwealth vs. McBride,” Braden called out and a tired-looking woman accompanied by a clearly irate man approached Braden. Another man, nervously fidgeting with his tie walked over to me, his slightly wacky-looking girlfriend trailing behind him.

“Who are all of these people?” the judge asked.

“Your Honor, this is the victim, Ms. Parker and her boyfriend Mr. Connolly, who was a witness,” Braden answered.

“And this is the defendant, of course, Mr. McBride, and his girlfriend Ms. Rodriguez who is a witness for the defense,” I explained.

“A defense witness. Oh goody,” Judge Channing said. “Before we get too out of hand here, why don't you summarize the Commonwealth's case, Mr. Pierce?”

“Your Honor, the Commonwealth will demonstrate that on May 11th of this year the victim, Ms. Parker was riding a city bus with her boyfriend, Mr. Connolly, when she felt her, uh, behind being grabbed. When she turned around she saw that it was the defendant, Mr. McBride who had engaged in said grabbing. Mr. Connolly had witnessed the action and the two males engaged in a verbal altercation. Mr. McBride is charged with indecent assault.”

“And you have a defense, Ms. Ginsberg?”

“I do, Your Honor.”

“And that would be?”

“Mistaken identity.”

“Mistaken identity. Of course.” Judge Channing didn't look pleased. “Wayne!” he yelled to his deputy. “Get me some Alka Seltzer!”

“Be right back, Your Honor,” Wayne said, scurrying off. Braden and I each presented our witnesses. His side basically just said the same thing he had.

My side's testimony consisted of Ms. Rodriguez, affirming that she and my client were a very playful couple, and that he frequently grabbed her behind in public. Further, she was standing directly next to Ms. Parker on the very crowded bus. So crowded, that it would be difficult to tell one behind from another. She also pointed out that as soon as he had recognized his mistake, Mr. McBride had apologized profusely to Ms. Parker, but that Mr. Connolly had become quite hostile. In fact, Ms. Parker had seemed inclined to accept the apology, but Mr. Connolly would not let it go.

“And your argument is, Ms. Ginsberg?” the judge asked when all testimony was complete.

“That first and foremost my client lacked criminal intent, but that this case is also ridiculous. Seriously, Your Honor, is this a worthy investment of the resources of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the time of the Court of Common Pleas of Philadelphia? My client grabbed the wrong behind on a crowded bus and apologized to owner of said behind. The DA's office wants to have him labeled as a sex offender! Although Mr. Connolly is angry, it doesn't even seem like Ms. Parker wants to prosecute this case.”