Torn

My heart instantly starts to pound. "Well, Daddy now I am panicking. What's wrong? Is it Mom?"

"No, it's Tor."

My breath catches in my throat and my stomach plummets as I try to deny away the words I just heard.

"Are you there?" He asks.

"Yes..." I swallow over the lump in my throat choking my airway. "Is he okay?"

"He was hit by a car early this morning on his bike."

I close my eyes tight, horrible visuals running through my mind. "No..."

"He's going to be okay, I just don't know exactly what's hurt yet. I'm at the hospital now with Tanner, waiting for the doctors. They just moved him into his own room. His mom is on her way, too."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You don't have to come, Kenzi. I know how much you hate hospitals. I just thought you could take care of his pets until he gets home since you spend a lot of time over there doing things for him already."

"Of course I will. I'm still coming, though."

"Alright. Drive slow. I can hear you're upset, and I don't want anything happening to you, too. He's in good hands, so don't worry."

"I'll go slow. I promise."

I end the call and stare out the windshield, frozen, trying to force my breathing to relax. My brain won't stop chanting. He's hurt. He's hurt. He's hurt. He's hurt.

When I feel like I'm no longer on the verge of hyperventilation, I fight the traffic for an hour to get to the hospital. Grabbing the first empty parking spot I find, I sprint to the main lobby. I'm pretty sure they won't give me a pass to see him since I'm not family, so I text my father:

Me: I'm downstairs. What room/floor?

Dad: 3rd floor, room 312. Take a left off the elevator. I'm in the waiting area.

I learned when my mom was in the hospital that you have to know how to navigate around to get to where you want to go without having a visitor pass or else they don't let you get to the room of the person you're trying to see. If anyone tries to stop me from seeing Tor, I'm going to have an epic meltdown.

The key is to look determined, and in a hurry, and not makes eye contact with anyone. That's what I do as I make a beeline for the elevator and poke at the glowing button with the faded three on it, wait for the doors to close, and then endure that dreaded lurch that almost makes me vomit as it beings its ascent.

When the doors open, I go to the left and find room 312. My heart is shattered to bits at the scene I walk into.

I stand rooted in the doorway of his room and see Sydni sitting on the edge of his bed, her hand clutching his. She kisses his cheek as she cries softly over his battered body that's got tubes and beeping things attached to him and bandages wrapped around his arms and hands.

That should be me comforting him, whispering love to him, begging him to open his eyes. But of course, she came back for him, because it always takes a tragedy to make someone wake up and see what they lost, or could have lost. I force myself to turn away, but I'm too late. His eyes have already fluttered open and are looking into hers. He doesn't even know I'm there. I turn quickly to leave and run straight into my father's chest.

He holds onto my shoulders and leans down to look into my eyes. "He's going to be okay, sweetheart. He's just a little banged up. He'll be fine."

I wrench myself away from him, needing to put distance between myself and what I just saw in that room before I lose control and it becomes obvious that something is going on between us, and my dad follows me to where I've stopped to lean back against the wall in the hallway. The sterile smell of the hospital is nauseating and forces unwanted memories of when my mother was here down my throat.

He tries to put his arms around me again. "Kenzi, he's alright, I promise you. It's not like Mom."

"Why is she here?"

"Who?"

"Sydni," I gulp for air, and my brain screams at me to shut up, but I can't. "They're not even together. Why is she here?"

His brow creases. "Because they have a history, Kenzi. You're too young to understand. Sometimes things are complicated." He pulls me into his arms. "You have to calm down."

I stifle a scream as my body trembles and shakes, trying not to cry but I can't hold it in, and tears start to track down my cheeks as I gulp and cling to him. Seeing Tor hurt, not knowing if he's really going to be okay, and then witnessing another woman with him is all too much. None of this should be happening. We had plans tonight. We're going to make dinner and walk Diogee and watch Kitten chase the laser light. Then he'll kiss me until I can't breathe and we'll make love and dream of when we can be together all the time.

"It's okay," he strokes my hair. "I know how much he means to you and how scary it all looks, but he's going to be fine. I wouldn't lie to you."

No. You wouldn't. But I'm lying to you.

"What happened, Dad? How bad is he hurt?"

He walks me down the hall to the small waiting area where we can be alone and hands me a handful of tissues from a box on the table. I dab at my eyes and blow my nose while I wait impatiently for him to answer.

"He's lucky, it could have been a lot worse. He has a bad concussion, a few broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and a lot of road rash. I'm sure his neck and back are going to be hurting him pretty bad, too. But in the grand scheme of things, he's very lucky. He'll just need to rest for awhile, his whole body is going to be sore."

"Concussion?" I repeat, my voice almost shrieking. "He hit his head?"

"Kenzi, it’s not like what happened to Mom. It's different."

"How do you know for sure?"

"Because I do. Trust me."

My mom hit her head, too. And she never woke up again.

He flips his keys around in his hand. "Let's just go home, I don't want you this upset. His family is here. Sydni is here. He won't be alone. He's resting now and too many people can't be piling up in his room."

No. No, no, no. I can't leave him here without seeing him, and I want to get freakin' Sydni away from him. She's not family. My blood is boiling thinking about her, and she has no right to be kissing him, especially when he's not even awake.

"How did Sydni find out?" I ask. "Who called her?"

"I guess Tanner did. Why are you obsessing over Sydni? You're acting crazy."

"I don't know. They're not together so it seems odd. She should leave."

"I have no idea what's going on between them. That's none of our business. She hasn't left his side."

My jaw grinds. This just isn't right. I'm his girlfriend. Not her.

"I want to stay for a little while." I finally say, forcing my voice to sound as natural as I can. "I'm not going to freak out or faint."

"Are you sure? You look pale and you're not acting yourself at all."

I give him a weak, non-convincing smile. "I'm positive. I'll stay for a little while then I'll go to his place to check on the pets. Maybe I should stay there until he gets home?" I know if Tor were awake right now he would ask me to stay with them.

My father runs his hand through his hair. "That might be a good idea. Sydni is allergic so she probably won't want to be there. Check with Tesla to be sure, but it might be easiest for you to stay there for a few days until he's home. It'll be one less thing for everyone to worry about. You'll be okay there alone?"

I nod. "Yes. The pets know me, and I know their routine."

"Alright. Call me in a little while and let me know how he is and what you're doing. You'll have to come home to get clothes, so I'll see you there."

I don't tell him that I already have extra clothes at Tor's house, in my own drawer in his dresser and hanging next to his in his closet. There's also my makeup. And my body wash. And my favorite foods.

We hug goodbye and I watch the nurses stare at him as he walks by the nurse’s station on his way to the elevator. I glare at them until they feel my eyes on them. What kind of thirsty bitches stare at a man in a hospital? Since he grew up here, most people in town don’t go crazy over him being famous, but occasionally there are people who approach him for an autograph, follow him around, or stare at him.

I decide I'm going to wait in the waiting room until Sydni leaves, and then I'll go in to see Tor. I'll hide in here until after hours if I have to, and hopefully, the nurses won't find me and throw me out. I'm prepared to beg if I have to.

I'm immersed in a gossip magazine when suddenly Tesla comes flying into the waiting room, her black high heels clicking on the floor.

"There you are. You're lucky I got ahold of this before someone else did, Kenzi." She holds up Tor's cell phone and waves it in front of me.

Damn!

"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply, my nerves rattling at what she may have read on there.

"Don't play dumb, Kenzi. He told me a few weeks ago what's going on. I know everything."

Surprise wafts over me. He didn't tell me he had talked about us with his sister. I don't mind at all that he did, but I'm shocked because he's been so worried someone will find out.

"He told you about us?"

"Yes. He needed to talk to someone he could trust. He's all torn up over this."

"Tesla, please don't tell anyone."

"I'm not but you better stop sending him text messages. You're lucky the Queen of Rock 'n Roll in there didn't get ahold of his cell phone before I did or your ass would be grass right now."

"I know that. What is she doing here, anyway? They're not even together."

"Seriously, Kenzi, wake up. She thinks she owns him. My mom's about to throw her out because she's trying to take control already."

I stand up and pace the room. "This is awful. How is he? Is he awake? Is he in a lot of pain? I'm going nuts not being able to be with him."