“You said that last time,” I dare to say, worried about his reaction.

“I know, but I just lost my temper. I didn’t mean it. I swear it won’t happen again. I love you. I love you, baby.”

My heart thumps, but I’m not so sure it’s in a good way anymore.

“You hurt me.”

“I know.” He strokes my hair, and it feels so nice. So nice. “I know, and I’m sorry. Believe me, I’m so sorry.”

Believe him.

Believe. Him.

“I can’t keep living like this, York. You have to change. I’ll forgive you, but if it happens again ...”

“I know,” he murmurs, kissing my shoulder. “You’ll leave, and you’ll have every right to. It won’t happen again. I won’t lose you. You’re mine. I can’t live without you. You know I love you, don’t you, baby?”

“I love you, too,” I say, but even I don’t believe my voice anymore.

Let alone my heart.

“How is your hand? Show me. Let me clean it up for you.”

He rolls and comes up with a first-aid kit. He’s going to clean it up? It’s been so long since he’s helped me in any way. I let him take my hand and unravel the bandage, which is soaked in blood. He glances down at the cut, and his face goes blank. “This is deep, Maddie. You should have gone to the hospital.”

What, before or after he hit me and then demanded I clean up?

My body goes stiff.

“Sorry,” he says, studying my face. “This is all my fault. Let me clean it up.”

He gets out some wipes and starts cleaning around the wound. It hurts, but it feels so nice to have his hands on me, it feels so nice to feel wanted, even for a little while. I stare at him as he cleans and rebandages my hand then clears all the mess up.

“I’m taking you to lunch, I wanted to let you sleep in. I cleaned the house. Come with me?”

His eyes are pleading.

Maybe he really does want to change.

People come out of this kind of thing all the time, right?

“Okay.” I smile, it’s weak, but it’s a smile.

His face brightens.

“Have a shower, don’t get that hand wet. I’ll meet you out in the kitchen when you’re done. I’ll have a coffee ready.”

He leans over and places a soft kiss against my lips, then he turns and disappears out of the room.

Could this be too good to be true?

Or is he really changing?

 

 

CHAPTER 14

NOW- BAYLEE

My phone rings, waking me from my sleep. It’s late, really late, possibly even early morning. It’s the first time I’ve managed to get any sleep for the last two weeks, and of course someone decides to call and ruin that. I roll to my side and reach over, lifting my phone into my hand and glancing at the screen. Private caller. Odd. Maybe something has happened with someone at work?

I decide to answer it.

“Hello?” I croak, sleepily.

There is music in the background, but nobody speaks.

“Hello?” I say again, trying to make my voice clearer. Maybe they didn’t hear me.

Still, nobody says anything.

“Is anyone there?”

The line goes dead. Strange. I place the phone back on the bedside table and roll to my back. It’s just past two in the morning. Yawning, I get up. I need some water and possibly some pain killers. My feet have been aching from all the work I’m doing. I slip out of my room and walk down the hall, stepping into the lounge room. The sight before me has my blood running cold.

Rae is sitting on the couch, something is strapped around her arm, and she’s injecting a needle into her skin.

For a moment, I feel like I can’t breathe. I knew she was using again, I knew it, but I just didn’t want to believe it.

“Rae?” I croak, my voice shaky.

She jerks and the needle goes flying from her hand. “Fuck. Baylee. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You’re pregnant.”

My voice is broken—sad, mostly disappointed.

Rae turns and glares at me. “Don’t tell me how to live my life. I’m doing the best I can.”

“You have a baby growing inside your belly. You’re doing drugs again. How ... how could you?”

My voice raises with every word.

“It’s not as easy as you think, to just stop. Not everyone is miss fucking perfect like you!”

“You have a baby!” I scream, shocking even myself.

Rae flinches, and then stands up, her hands are shaking. I ruined her fix, and I know it. She leans down, lifts the needle, and shoves it in her purse. “I don’t have to put up with this.”

“You can’t do this, Rae. You were clean. You were getting better. Do you care at all about the fact that you’re pregnant?”

“I never wanted this fucking baby!” she screams. “You made me keep it.”

“I didn’t make you do anything,” I yell back, fists clenched. “I protected you against him.”

“I was enjoying myself, you were the only one scared of him.”

I reel backwards. “I beg your pardon? You were terrified of him. He got you hooked on drugs, and he ...”

“He bashed us. Yeah. I remember. But you were the one that dragged me away, made me live here, made me have this stupid fucking baby. If you had just left me be, I might have fixed myself. Now I’m miserable, and lonely, and this is the only thing that makes me feel better.”

“It doesn’t make you feel better,” I protest. “It’s a damned lie, Rae, and you know it. You have a human life growing inside you. You’re being so incredibly selfish.”

She glares at me. “I fucking hate you. You ruined my life. If you care so much about this stupid baby, maybe you should have had one of your own...oh wait, you can’t.”

She hit me where it hurts, and she damn well knows it.

“Get out of my house,” I whisper-yell.

“Gladly, I’m sick of being here with you anyway.”

She turns and storms out the door, slamming it angrily behind her.

I slide down the wall, tucking my knees up to my chest.

Then I sob until I can’t breathe.

How much is one person honestly meant to deal with?

~*~*~*~

“What do I do, Shan?” I sigh, rubbing my temples.