Shania stares at me, legs crossed, sitting on my bed. “You can’t fix her forever, hon. I know she’s pregnant and you want to help, but she’s also old enough to fight you on that. What are you going to do? Tie her down and force her to stop? You can’t, and you know you can’t.”

“She’ll damage that baby.”

“Again, what can you do about it? Unless you can convince her to try and stop, then you’re wasting your time. Maybe you should suggest a doctor’s visit? Or show her an ultrasound? Something to get her snapped back into shape. But if she doesn’t care now, nothing you can say will make her care.”

“Maybe I can find out who is sourcing her drugs?”

Shania frowns. “Be careful doing that, you could get into some messy stuff.”

“Jack might be able to help ...”

“Again, be careful. The drug world is messy, honey. You know it. Do you really want to step back into that?”

“She’s only a teenager, Shania. If I sit back and let this happen, it makes me no better than him.”

“He’s the damned reason she’s like this. Don’t you ever let me hear you compare yourself to him again.”

I drop my head in my hands. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I honestly don’t know either. Maybe you can go to a clinic, or a rehab centre, or one of those women’s shelters and talk to someone. See if they have any advice?”

I nod. “Yeah, I might do that.”

“Don’t let this run you into the ground; you’re working yourself to death as it is.”

She’s right. I know she’s right. So, why the hell can’t I stop?

Why am I constantly running after this girl, who clearly doesn’t care about me?

Because I refuse to be a horrible person. I refuse to be him. I need to be able to say I tried.

“What time do you start work today?”

I look up. “In about half an hour. Jack asked me to go away with him and his friends for the weekend. They go and rent out sail boats and go sailing.”

Shania’s eyes lighten. “Go. Seriously. Go or I’ll make you.”

“But Rae ...”

“I’ll come and stay here, if it means you’ll go. Honestly, I can handle the little shit for a few days.”

“I would never ask you to do that.”

Shania rolls her eyes. “Seriously, she won’t know what hit her with me around. She won’t give me lip for long.”

I can’t help it, I laugh. Shania is a pocket rocket, that’s for sure.

“Even so, I can’t go away and leave you with a drug-addicted pregnant woman.”

“Yes, you can. I’ll bring boyfriend over, and he’ll make sure nothing happens. Seriously, Baylee. Please go. I want you to start living your life again, even if I have to make you.”

“I know but—”

“You’re going. End of story.”

“But—”

“End. Of. Story. Don’t test me, I’ll lock you out of this house if I have to.”

I shake my head at her. “I haven’t even asked work yet, so ...”

“They’ll kick you out of the door too, believe me. You work your ass off. Call that boy, and tell him you’re going. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

My phone rings beside me, and I glance down to see a private number again.

“Who is it?” Shania asks.

“Private number. It’s called a few times. I think someone has the wrong number.”

“Here, let me answer it.”

She snatches the phone before I can argue and answers it. “Hello?”

She listens for a minute. “Seriously, if this is someone trying to sell something, you should stop calling, we’re not interested. Okay, have a great day.”

She hangs up, drops the phone and acts like she’s dusting dirt off her hands. “There, that’ll stop them calling again.”

I laugh. “I highly doubt it, but thanks.”

“I get those calls all the time, too. Soooo annoying. Anyway, tell me about Jack. Did you saddle that bad boy up yet?”

I shake my head with a giggle. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s going to get like that this weekend.”

“No, no, it isn’t.”

“Yes, yes, it is.”

I flop down onto the bed beside her. “I feel like I can trust him, I feel like he’s a really good person, but I don’t know that I trust myself anymore, you know? I thought York was all those things, too.”

“Yeah, but not everyone is evil like York. Just because one person hurt you, doesn’t mean others will. You have to trust again eventually.”

“I know, I’m trying, but ...”

“You’re scared.”

“So fucking scared,” I whisper.

“Just go with them this weekend, enjoy yourself, maybe it’ll help you see things more clearly.”

I roll to my side and stare at my best friend. “Do you think he’s a good person?”

“I don’t know him. But I think you should get to know him and find out for yourself. You’re smarter now. You’re not going to fall into the traps you did with York, because you’ve learned, even if you think you haven’t. Take it easy. Go steady. And just see what happens. If it ever feels wrong, even for a second, you leave.”

I nod, chewing on my bottom lip.

“If you stop, and look back, really look back, you know that it felt wrong with York long before you left him. You knew it, deep down. If you feel that again, you run.”

She’s right.

I ignored what felt so wrong before, and because of that, I got myself hurt. I trust my instincts a lot more now, but I also know I’m still fragile, my self-esteem isn’t what it should be, and I can still be far too soft. I wonder sometimes if I could be manipulated again, with the right twist of words and actions.

“I’m not sure I can trust myself fully,” I admit.

“Well, you have to teach yourself one day. I think now is a good time to start.”

I smile at her. “Where would I be without you?”

She smiles back. “Probably in a mental ward.”

We both laugh.

And I send a silent prayer of thanks for her. Because I honestly don’t know where I’d be without her.