London
“The thing about destiny is that it doesn’t have to make sense; it simply is. It’s real and true and unbreakable.”
—London Berkeley
I take a step back, admiring my work. It smells like the Garden of Eden beneath this white party tent, and the view is simply breathtaking. The backyard has been transformed into a picturesque oasis. Each table is adorned with a beautiful vase of flowers. The poles holding the tent up are wrapped in strands of white roses. Ornate vases exploding with blooms start the beginning of each row of white chairs that face the altar—a trellis of floral perfection.
Months ago, when planning for this date with Sarah, she stated that she wanted a quaint, low-cost backyard wedding. When I asked her what kinds of flowers she wanted, she suggested skipping flowers because of the cost. I offered to supply the flowers as part of our gift because they bring such a soft, romantic element to a wedding.
Sarah didn’t have a favorite, so I ordered them all. If a flower comes in pink or white, it’s in this backyard. Looking around, some might say I went overboard, but I say I accomplished something magical. Everywhere you look, you’re surrounded by gorgeous blooms.
When Sarah steps off the deck in just a couple of hours, she’s going to feel like a princess. I want her to have that. I want this to be one of the happiest days of her life, one that signifies the beginning of something great—the part of her journey where there’s only joy and no pain.
Sarah has never been my favorite person in the world. That’s no secret. Yet my ill feelings toward her in the past stemmed from jealousy and insecurity where Loïc was concerned. It’s taken time and help from Loïc, but I’ve let all of my negativity toward Sarah go.
I understand enough about Sarah to know that her life has been hard. She’s been through things so far from my reality that I have a difficult time grasping even the concept of them. If our places were reversed, I don’t know that I could have survived. She’s so strong. She’s navigated this life with virtually no one. Yes, she had Loïc for a bit, but she lost him, too. If anyone deserves a happily ever after, it’s her.
“Well, if this doesn’t have London Wright written all over it, then I don’t know what does.”
One of my favorite voices in the world breaks my thoughts.
I turn toward my best friend. A giant smile is plastered on my face as we pull each other into an enormous hug.
“Paigey Poo, I missed you. It’s been too long.” I continue to squeeze her tight.
Pulling away from our embrace, she says, “It really has.”
“And it’s Berkeley now,” I add.
“I know, but you’ll always be a Wright girl to me. So, where is that man of yours?”
“He’s inside, playing with Evan, while Sarah gets her hair done. Speaking of men, where’s yours?” I ask.
Paige lets out a sound of disgust. “Hopefully, in a gutter somewhere, swimming in STDs.”
“Oh no! That bad?”
“Yeah, I know how to pick them. But you know what they say; piles of shit just make you stronger.”
I laugh with a shake of my head. “No one says that. I’ve heard, What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I shoot her a wink. “My masterpiece here is finished, so let’s sit. I want to hear all about this shit you speak of.”
We plop down in two of the chairs set up for the ceremony.
“So, what happened with Edward? I thought he had potential to be the one.”
“Yeah, me, too. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought that. The douche face had another girlfriend on the side. For all I know, he could have had several. You know how he had to leave a few days every week for business trips? Yeah, well, there’s no traveling involved in his job after all.”
“No way. When’d you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Just last week. I knew I’d see you here, and this is the kind of news that requires a face-to-face convo.” Her lips pull up into a weighted smile.
“Yes, and a major Ben and Jerry’s–eating, couch-lying, Netflix-watching marathon.” I bite my lip, tapping my index finger against it, as I think out loud. “Now, we’re going to have to figure out how to work our pity party around the wedding.”
Paige laughs. “Yes, you can throw the best pity parties.”
“Yeah…well, I had a lot of practice while Loïc and I were separated.” A desperate chill runs through me just thinking about that time in my life.
“It’s okay. I don’t need one. I had a pity party of sorts on my own this week. I’m just ready to move on.”
“A party of one? That’s sad. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” I pout.
“Are you kidding? No, you’re not.” Paige scoffs. “You were off, skipping through Savannah, hand in hand with the man of your dreams, while on assignment for the job of your dreams.”
I hold up my hand, a serious expression on my face. “We did not skip.”
“It’s okay,” Paige says with a chuckle. “We aren’t single college girls anymore. Growing up means not having your best friend available to you at all times. Right?”
“Maybe not in person but via the phone, always. You know you can call me night or day.”
“I know,” Paige agrees. “It’s okay. I handled it.”
“So, tell me what happened. How’d you find out?”
A genuine smile graces Paige’s face. “Well, that part was actually quite epic. So, you know how I told you that Edward told me that he was going to be in Miami for work for a few days?”
“Yeah.” I fidget in the chair, anxious to hear the rest. No one tells a story like Paige.
“Well, while he was gone, I went out to dinner with Elle at this new Italian restaurant in Ann Arbor—BTW, you would freak over this place. So good! Anyway, halfway through dinner, I noticed a couple sucking face in one of the corner booths. Elle and I were totally obsessed with talking about them because it was like a high school make-out session. We were timing how long it would take them to come up for air and making bets on what each person looked like. I guessed that she had a nose as big as Connecticut and looked a little homely, like a librarian. And he’d be this computer geek. I mean, my thought process was that they must not date much because they were kissing like they’d never kissed before.”
“Oh my gosh,” I say on a chuckle.
“Yeah.” Paige nods in agreement. “So, after fifteen minutes, they come up for air. Elle won a free dessert from me for that one. I had them lasting only eight minutes. And, lo and behold, it wasn’t a librarian and a computer geek. It was Edward and some ridiculously hot chick.”
“Oh no.”
“Exactly. Oh freaking no.”
“So, what happened?” I ask.
“Well, I wasn’t just going to sit there. So, I got up and walked over to them. Edward’s face turned white when he saw me. I said to Edward, ‘So weird to see you here, honey. When you said you were going to be in Miami for a few days, I didn’t realize Miami was a two-bit hooker. Hopefully, your trip doesn’t last a full three days because, when you get back, your shit will be on the lawn outside the window, and I think I saw something about rain in the forecast.’ And then I turned to the girl and said, ‘Nice to meet you, Miami. I’m Paige, Edward’s girlfriend of eight months. You should really try the portabello ravioli here. The cream sauce is to die for.’ Then, I turned and walked away.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall. What’d they do? What’d they say?”
“Absolutely nothing. They both just looked at me in shock with their mouths hanging open. As far as breakups go, it was pretty amazing.”
“You are my freaking hero, Paige.” I shake my head in wonder. “If that had been me and I saw Loïc like that, I would have fallen apart. Seriously, I want to be you when I grow up.”
Paige shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m sure your breakup would have been pretty epic, too. You’re a strong cookie, London. Plus, Edward obviously wasn’t my Loïc…you know? After a week, I’m pretty much over him, and that tells me something.”
“So, did you really throw his stuff out the window?”
“Hell yes. As soon as I got back to the house, I threw every single item of his out on the lawn. I called a twenty-four-hour locksmith and had all the locks changed, and I blocked Edward’s number on my phone.”
“Seriously proud of you right now. Did he come get his stuff?”
“I’m assuming. It was gone the next day.” Paige shrugs.
“Have you spoken to him since?”
“Nope. Not a word. I knew he wouldn’t try to talk about it. I mean, what is there to say? Obviously, I know he’s a cheating douche bag. I would never take him back even if he promised me the world. He knows that. Not to say that he even wanted me back. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m better off without him.”
“Yeah, you are!”
I raise my hand, and Paige gives me a high five.
“So, nope, no pity parties. Instead, we’re going to get tipsy tonight and dance our butts off. After the reception, you’re going to have some hot lovemaking with your hubby, and I’m going to find the finest single man I can and rock his world. There are going to be some hot guys here today, right?” Paige looks to me with a slight panic in her eyes. “These chairs aren’t just for great aunts and uncles and grandparents…are they?”
“Yeah,” I sigh with a frown. “The average age of the guests is seventy-two.”
“Really?” she whines, dropping her shoulders, disappointment lining her features.
“No.” I playfully tap her arm. “Most of these chairs are going to be filled by Dixon’s military buddies.”
“Hot military men?” Paige raises her fists in the air and pulls her elbows back against her waist in the classic celebratory move. “Yes!”
I’m grinning from ear to ear. “Plus, I hear Dixon’s brother is single, and if he looks anything like Dixon…”
“Yum-my!” Paige chimes in.
“Exactly!” I agree with a chuckle.
The air surrounding us turns serious as Paige wraps an arm around my back and leans her head against my shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too,” I say, resting the side of my head atop hers.
“Long-distance BFF status is rough. But you know what they say about that.”
I let out a chuckle. “What do they say, Paige?”
“You know, that expression that being apart makes your heart grow to love that someone even more.”
“Yes, absence does make the heart grow fonder,” I agree.
“Yeah, that one. It makes all the times that we do have together special.” She gives me a side squeeze before sitting upright. “And, tonight, we’re going to party like nineteen-year-old sorority girls.”
“Exactly!” I concur. “Except one of those girls is going to party with water, like she might be pregnant,” I throw in.
Paige freezes before she bolts out of her chair and faces me. “Shut the front door! You’re pregnant?” she squeals.
“Maybe. Hopefully. Probably,” I say in rapid succession, my heartbeat quickening in elation.
“Oh my goodness! I need the details!”
I tell Paige every detail about the conversation with Loïc in Savannah and the hours of unprotected lovemaking that ensued.
“Have you taken a test?” she asks.
“No,” I say. “I want to wait until I am late, you know? I don’t want to risk the disappointment of a negative test when it might be too early to tell.”
“Good plan. So, when are you supposed to start your period?”
“Yesterday.” A wide grin overtakes my face as I stand from the chair.
Paige takes my hands in hers, and the two of us bounce up and down.
“This is crazy! You’re totally pregnant. Let’s go get a test!”
“I’ll take one tomorrow before you leave,” I offer. “I don’t want to take the attention away from Sarah on her big day.”
Paige swipes her hand through the air. “She won’t mind.”
I shrug. “Maybe not, but she deserves this day to be all about her. You know?”
“Okay, fine. Then, I’ll get tipsy tonight, and you can be my sober wingwoman. Then, tomorrow morning, we’re going to the drugstore and getting a pregnancy test for you.”
“Sounds like a plan!”
Paige and I start walking toward the house.
“Let’s see if anyone needs help with anything before we put on our dresses,” I say.
Paige nods her head in agreement. “So, have you seen any of these military hotties in person? How hot are we talking?”
I shake my head in laughter.
From the front row, I gaze dreamily up at the altar of flowers and the people standing before it. Every second of the ceremony has been absolutely perfect so far, and I’m delighted for Sarah, Dixon, and little Evan. And selfishly for me because of Loïc. I know that Sarah’s happiness means so much to my husband, and I’m relieved it isn’t another thing that Loïc has to continue to worry about. He can rest easy, knowing his sister—for all intents and purposes—is truly happy.
Sarah is so beautiful. She’s wearing a simple, flowy ivory dress that swoops down in the back, bringing together the ideal touch of sexiness and modesty. Her long strawberry-blonde hair hangs in ringlets against her lightly tan skin. Little white flowers form a tiara atop her head, and she looks like a bohemian Cinderella. But what makes her the most stunning is the genuine joy radiating from her.
Loïc stands beside Sarah as her best man. His hand is placed on Evan’s shoulder as Evan plays with the plastic rings on his satin ring bearer pillow. For a little dude, a couple of months shy of three, he’s doing so well. All the guys are wearing gray slacks and ivory button-up shirts. It’s simple and elegant, and it goes perfect with the entire look of the wedding.
Paige sits beside me, releasing a sigh. I pull my gaze from my handsome hubby to look at her. I have to stop myself from laughing when I take her in. She’s ogling Dixon’s brother, Ethan, like she’s literally going to consume him in a matter of seconds. Her rebound radar is hungry.
I gently nudge her with my elbow. “Stop.” I giggle under my breath.
“He’s the one,” she whispers wistfully before pressing her lips together in a line and pulling a long breath in through her nose.
I stare up at the tall guy standing beside Dixon and have to agree with Paige that he’s quite attractive. The Dixon men definitely have some quality genes. Ethan is so similar to Dixon, yet at the same time, he’s completely different. They’re both clearly in shape, but where Dixon has larger defined muscles, Ethan’s physique is more long and lean—like that of a surfer. Dixon is cleanly shaved with a short, precise haircut, that of a typical soldier. Ethan has scruff on his face, like he rolled out of bed this morning and forgot to shave. His hair is a couple of inches longer than Dixon’s and holds that sexy disheveled appearance.
Yeah, he’s hot.
We all rise from our seats as Sarah and Dixon finish their first kiss. They turn to face their guests as the pastor announces them as husband and wife. We all clap and cheer. I tilt my head in Loïc’s direction, he throws me a wink, and my smile grows wider.
I love that man.
Sarah and Dixon walk hand in hand back up the aisle. Loïc hikes Evan up onto his shoulders, and then Evan claps as they follow the happy couple, his little pillow and fake rings abandoned at the altar. Ethan is the last one in the wedding party to leave the altar, and I don’t miss him pause beside us and shoot Paige a look as he subtly bites his lip before turning with a smirk to follow the others.
I whip around to face Paige. “What was that?” I laugh. “Did something happen before the ceremony that I missed?”
Paige shrugs. “Nope. When you got it, you got it.”
“You do realize that he’s the only non-military guy here who is our age. You sure you want to commit to a target before scoping out the rest?” I ask.
“Oh, I’m sure.” Paige nods her head. “Besides, I’m over military men.”
“Really? Since when?” I chuckle.
“Since Mr. Hottie Pants arrived. He’s my dream guy. I want to marry him and have a hundred of his babies and pet him all day long.”
“Pet him?” I quirk up an eyebrow.
“Yes. All. Day. Long.” Paige adds a pause between each word for emphasis.
“All righty then. As your wingwoman, I shall make it my goal to get you some petting time with Mr. Hottie Pants.”
Paige and I start walking toward the bar.
“I’m feeling good. You saw that look,” she says to me.
“Oh, yeah, I saw it. I think he wants more than petting.”
“You know what? I’m completely okay with that,” Paige states.
We both laugh.
Paige has a fruity cocktail in hand, and I have a water. I scan the yard, waiting for Loïc to return. He’s probably helping Evan with something inside. I’m just about to tell Paige that I’m going to go check on him when Mr. Hottie Pants himself walks up to us.
“Hey, ladies,” he says with a smile.
“Hi,” we both answer, Paige a little more exuberant than me.
“So, you here with Sarah or Pete?” he asks.
“Pete?” Paige and I say at the same time.
Ethan laughs. “I always forget that everyone here calls him by his last time. I’m not really big into the military jargon. To me, he’s always been Pete.”
“I’m not into military either,” Paige blurts out.
I quickly pipe up, giving Paige time to recover from her outburst, “I’m London. Loïc’s my husband. He’s pretty good friends with both Sarah and Dixon.”
“Ah, so you’re London!” he says. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I went up to Michigan with Pete a few times to visit Loïc during your infamous break. Loïc’s a good guy. I like him. Glad to see everything worked out for you two.”
“Um, thanks. Me, too.” I put on a smile, but just talking about the year that Loïc and I were apart makes me uncomfortable. I hate to think about that time. And I know it’s silly, but I feel a pang of jealousy that Mr. Hottie Pants got to spend time with my man during that year when I didn’t.
“And you are?” he asks Paige.
“Not married,” she exclaims abruptly.
He lets out a chuckle. “Well, that’s good.”
I hold in a smile. Where is the sultry temptress from a moment ago?
Paige is clearly affected by this guy, and I feel guilty because I find it slightly humorous.
“This is Paige, my best friend. She knows both Dixon and Sarah as well.”
“Ah, gotcha. Well, nice to meet you both.” His gaze goes from me to Paige, where it lingers.
“You know what?” I say. “Ethan, would you mind keeping Paige company? I want to go check on Loïc.”
“Of course,” he answers.
I shoot Paige a smile before turning to head toward the house.
Inside, I hear Loïc’s voice coming from the bathroom. “It’s okay, buddy. It happens. Weddings are fun. Sometimes, we can’t think clearly when we’re so excited.”
I step inside the bathroom to find Loïc kneeling in front of the bathtub as Evan splashes a plastic dinosaur in and out of the water.
Evan notices me and blurts out, “Yondon, my brain had too much fun and made me pee my pants.”
“Aw, that’s okay, Ev.” I stand beside Loïc and run my fingers through his short hair. “I was wondering what you two were up to in here.”
Goose bumps pebble my skin as Loïc slides his hand up and down my bare calf. “Babe, can you please go find Evan something to wear? I didn’t get that far.”
“Of course. I’ll be right back.”
A minute later, I’m back with a pair of khaki shorts and a cute little short-sleeved button-up shirt. It’s the closest ensemble I could find to Evan’s previous outfit. Loïc and I have Evan out of the bath and dressed in a couple of minutes.
I’ve just finished combing Evan’s hair when Dixon enters the bathroom.
“Thank you so much, guys. You’re awesome.” He focuses his attention on Evan. “You ready to go eat?”
“Yes!” Evan exclaims cheerfully as he takes Dixon’s hand.
After Dixon and Evan leave, I look to Loïc’s shoulders. “Do you need a new shirt? Did he get ya?”
Loïc chuckles. “No. Thankfully, it all started flowing right after I put him down.”
I grin. “That’s good.” Stepping toward Loïc, I run my hand under his shirt and up his back, feeling his warm muscles under my touch. “You turn me on so much when you’re all fatherly. You’re going to be the sexiest dad ever.”
Loïc closes the bathroom door and presses the lock button. “Oh, yeah?” he asks, taking a step toward me. He gently brushes a lock of my hair off my shoulder before he leans down and presses his soft lips against the skin at the base of my neck.
I swallow. “Yeah.” I breathe out heavily. “I’m going to have to guard you from all the horny PTA moms at school.”
I lean back against the bathroom counter. My head falls back as Loïc’s hot breath and kisses light a fire against the sensitive skin along my collarbone.
“Are you getting jealous of future imaginary moms?” he whispers.
“I can’t help it. You know jealousy is one of my faults.” I pant as Loïc’s kisses become harder, more demanding.
“Well, I find your jealous side fucking hot.”
His lips find mine, and his tongue enters—greedy, wanting. It searches my mouth, twirling with my own. I press my pelvis against his, needing friction, release…anything.
Without removing his lips from mine, he unzips the back of my dress and guides the straps over my shoulders, allowing it to fall to the ground. His palm moves down my waist until he’s touching my hips. Pulling his lips from mine, his gaze darts down.
“You didn’t wear any panties?” he asks, his stare heavy with lust.
I bite my lip, shaking my head. “It’s a wedding. I knew I’d get horny,” I say simply.
Loïc firmly grasps my hips, leaning his forehead against mine. “Oh, fuck, London. You’re my living dream.”
He lifts me onto the counter, spreading my legs wide, as he crashes his mouth against mine again, kissing me hard. I moan into his mouth as his finger works around my opening, spreading my desire, teasing me. I press myself against his hand, and I can feel the smile on his lips. Finally, his finger enters me, rubbing deliciously against the front wall of my opening.
I throw my head back with a cry. “Oh God… Loïc,” I whimper.
His finger picks up speed as his hot mouth dances across one of my nipples, and I gasp. He gently bites down on my nipple, pulling it, as his finger works harder inside me.
I’m desperately fucking his finger in a frenzy of lust and desire as his mouth continues to tease my boobs—sucking, pulling, biting.
“I need,” I pant out. “I need…” I can barely breathe. I’m so worked up.
“What do you need, babe?” Loïc’s husky voice asks.
“I need you. God, fuck me, Loïc. Hard. So hard.”
“Fuuckk,” Loïc breathes out.
I can just make out the sound of his zipper before he thrusts inside me.
“Yes!” I cry out. “Harder. God, harder.”
Without breaking our connection, Loïc lifts me from the counter and pushes my back against the opposite wall. He circles his hips and pounds into me as my back shoves against the drywall. I squeeze my eyes shut as I dig my fingers into his shoulders.
The sensations are so good that they’re almost painful. Raw, aching ecstasy is what sex with Loïc is like every time. My toes curl, and heat builds.
“Oh, baby…I’m coming,” I moan.
“Fuck yes. Come for me,” Loïc growls.
My body trembles as a wave of pleasure explodes within me. My climax seizes me, and I gasp. Loïc bites my shoulder as he chases his own release, thrusting vigorously as his body tightens.
After a moment of pure insanity, Loïc pulls out of me and sets me down. We sink to the ground and plop down against the cold tiles, staring at the ceiling.
Loïc takes my hand in his. “I have the best wife in the world.”
“Hell yeah, you do. You remember that when the PTA moms come slinking around,” I kid.
Loïc turns to his side to face me. “Your jealousy is a turn-on, but you are kidding, right? You know I’ll never touch another woman for as long as I live. You don’t ever question that, do you?”
I put my palm against his cheek. “No,” I say truthfully, “I don’t.”
I’ve never questioned Loïc’s ability to remain faithful. Neither of us has been with anyone else since the first time we were together, even during the year we don’t speak of when we lived on opposite ends of the country. The thing about destiny is that it doesn’t have to make sense; it simply is. It’s real and true and unbreakable. There’s nothing that will ever pull Loïc and me apart. I believe this down to my core.
“Good.” He leans in and places a quick peck on the tip of my nose. “I love you, London Berkeley.”
“And I love you, Loïc Berkeley.” I squeeze his hand in mine before releasing my grasp. I stand up and begin cleaning up.
Loïc zips his pants up and straightens his shirt some. Then, with arms crossed, he leans against the wall and watches me finish getting dressed.
“So”—he nods pensively—“me as a dad is a turn-on. Good to know.”
“Heck yeah, it is. You’d better drink lots of protein shakes when our baby comes because you’re going to need the energy.”
I turn away from him, pulling my hair up, and he zips up my dress.
“Oh, I’ll have the energy.” He chuckles.
I wash my hands and take one more quick look in the mirror before I nod to Loïc, letting him know to open the door.
We walk hand in hand out of the house and over to the buffet table, grabbing plates. Everyone else is already seated and eating.
“Oh, this looks amazing. I’m starving,” I say as I plop a large spoonful of cheesy mashed potatoes on my plate.
“Me, too.” Loïc piles some barbeque beef brisket on his plate. “You know, they say that having a baby tires you out. You might not have the energy for random bathroom hook-ups once the baby arrives, and that’s okay.”
He’s too sweet.
“Um, our baby is going to sleep through the night, not ever be cranky, and just be perfect all around. So, I’ll have loads of energy,” I say matter-of-factly, causing Loïc to laugh.
“I can’t wait for you to be a mom.” He shakes his head with a grin.
“What?” I ask innocently. “We’re going to have the most easygoing baby ever. Just wait.”
“All right,” he draws out.
“We are.” I frown.
“Sure,” he says in a placating tone.
“I hate you,” My eyes narrow.
“And I love you, babe.”
Several hours later, I’m exhausted but having so much fun as I bounce around with Paige and Sarah on the dance floor. Paige is definitely a little tipsy, and Sarah and I might as well be because we’re having just as much fun as Paige. We’re the only ones dancing at the reception. Save for a few of Dixon’s buddies’ dates and his mom and grandma, we’re the only girls at the wedding. It’s definitely a predominately male gathering.
Paige wouldn’t have had the slightest problem with finding a rebound guy here. Ethan’s lucky he was so quick on the draw. The two of them dance together during every slow song, kissing like a couple at their high school prom. It’s adorable. They’re definitely getting lucky tonight.
“I’m going to get another drink,” Paige calls out over the music. “Need anything?”
“I’m good,” Sarah says.
“I’ll just have another glass of water, thanks.” I excuse myself from the dance floor to go use the bathroom.
I’m finishing up in the bathroom when, suddenly, the air leaves my lungs. My chest aches, and fresh tears of disappointment fill my eyes.
I was so sure. I was positive. I felt different. Didn’t I?
But I couldn’t have been different because I wasn’t. It’s there. Right there on the toilet paper in my hand. The red blotch that crushes everything I thought I felt or thought I knew the past couple of weeks.
I was so sure.
I drop the paper into the toilet with a sigh. So many emotions race through me—anger, jealousy, disappointment—but the loudest is simply sadness. I’m just bummed. I was ready to start this journey with Loïc.
There’s a knock on the bathroom door.
“Hey, London…you in there?”
“Yeah.”
“I have your water. Hurry up. I have to tell you what Ethan just said,” Paige says through the door.
I wait a few moments.
“London?”
I try to compose my thoughts, but before I can answer Paige, I hear her shuffling on the other side of the door.
Then, she’s singing through the crack by the door handle asking me if I want to build a snowman.
I chuckle, swiping the tears that fell.
And, now, she’s literally screaming the song from the other side, and all I can do is laugh. Paige and I watched that Disney movie so many times a few years back, and we can sing every word to every song.
“Paige!” I yell above her vocal number. “Paige!”
She stops singing. “Yes?”
“Can you do me a favor?” I ask her.
“Sure. What do you need?”
“I need a glass of wine, a tampon, and Loïc, please.”
There’s a momentary pause, and I know her alcohol-clouded mind is processing what I just said.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice is lined with sympathy. “I’m on it. Be right back.”
Minutes later, Loïc is holding me in his arms.
“I’m so sad,” I tell him. “I’m sorry I didn’t get pregnant.”
“London, stop. You have nothing to be sorry for. It doesn’t always happen on the first try…or the second or third. Sometimes, it takes time. Just because it didn’t happen this month doesn’t mean it won’t. It’s okay, babe.”
“I just really thought I was.”
“I know. Me, too,” he admits, his beautiful blues so gentle. “I think it’s because we wanted you to be pregnant so badly. But, in a week or so, we get to start trying again, and that’s kinda awesome.” He squeezes me tight.
“Yeah, it is.” I release a dry chuckle. “I’ll never complain about trying with you.”
“Exactly. That’s the fun part.”
“Maybe we should get one of those ovulation tests at the pharmacy, so we know for sure when we should be trying,” I suggest.
“Sounds good. You ready to go back out to the party?”
“Yeah, but if Sarah starts blabbing on about baby names, I’m out.”
He laughs. “If she does, you’ll have to race me out of there.”
I’ve never been a patient person. Besides the year of my life without Loïc, I’ve always gotten pretty much everything I’ve wanted. Or at least the important things. It’s such an odd feeling to know that I can’t make it happen. I’m going to get pregnant when I get pregnant, and that’s that. It’s annoying and frustrating, but I have Loïc, and I can do anything with him by my side.