A week and a half later…

Kat was tired of the hospital. She wasn’t in the same hospital, but it was still a medical facility and she was confined to it. After her stay in Moscow, she’d been transferred to a facility in Washington DC. It was a swanky place, if you could call a hospital swanky. She had a private room—and it wasn’t stark white. It was decorated with posh furnishings and probably the fanciest hospital bed ever made.

She was lying in it, but she wanted out. She had started to push herself up to go for a walk around the room when the door opened and a doctor entered.

He was her regular doctor, a nice younger man who smiled a lot and had gentle fingers when he probed at her wound. He was holding a piece of paper and frowning.

“What’s up, Doc?” She was old enough to remember a cartoon rabbit who’d said that line. It cracked her up every time she got to say it.

He came over to her bedside, smiling gently. “Got some interesting results here, Miss Kasharin,” he said, waving the paper.

“Oh?” She didn’t like the sound of that. Not even a little.

“It seems… Well, you appear to be pregnant.”

The air whooshed from her lungs. It took her a long moment to speak. “But… I’m forty-three! And I have an implant!”

He chuckled. “Well, it’s really early yet, but you have pregnancy hormones in your urine, and they’re doubling at a nice rate. And forty-three isn’t too old to get pregnant, Miss Kasharin. If you’re having regular periods, you can get pregnant at any age.”

“And the implant?”

“No method of birth control is one hundred percent effective, I’m afraid.”

She was stunned into silence. How the hell was she going to tell Johnny Mendez that she was pregnant and he was the only possibility? After everything they’d been through together, she was just happy he was still talking to her.

He’d come to see her a couple of times since she’d been here. Mostly he was working, though he called when he couldn’t make it. Sometimes she woke up and he was sitting by her bed. Those were the days she was happiest.

They didn’t talk about the future. She wasn’t surprised by that because she knew there couldn’t really be a future. Sure, she was here in an American hospital, getting the finest care possible, but that didn’t mean anybody would forget who or what she was when this was over.

She was still Russian. She’d worked for the Federal Security Service and the mafia, and now she was a mercenary. Not a glowing reference for the position of girlfriend to a guy who commanded a top secret US military unit.

“There are options,” Doc Carter was saying. “But there’s time to think about that yet.”

Options? For her there was only one option. Not that she didn’t understand the need for other choices, but her choice was made—and it was irrevocable.

“When am I getting out of here?” she asked. Because she was ready to go home. She was getting stronger every day, and she was ready to start her life again.

Fear rolled through her at the thought there could be another life to take care of. She thought in terms of could be because she knew it was early enough in the pregnancy that it might not stick. But what if it did?

Oh, how she hoped it would. But her profession was dangerous. She’d made enemies. And she knew what happened when those enemies took their revenge.

She pressed a hand to her abdomen as a wave of fierceness overcame her. If this little one made it, she’d never leave him or her. She’d get another job. She’d wait tables or clean motel rooms. Didn’t matter, so long as she was there for her baby. She couldn’t help but think of Roman and how she’d wanted to be there for him but hadn’t been allowed.

Not this time, dammit.

“You’ve been through a lot,” the doc was saying. “But I think a couple of more days should be sufficient.”

He left a short while later, and she was alone with her thoughts. But not for long. There was a knock on the door and then it swung open to reveal the man she loved. Her heart leapt like a puppy on a leash, careening around and bumping her rib cage with excitement.

He wore his uniform, complete with medals on his chest, and she thought she’d never seen a more handsome man in her life. He held his hat in one hand. The beard was gone, which she lamented because she’d loved it, and his hair was cropped short again. But beard or not, he looked delicious. Movie-star handsome and wearing a uniform? Be still her heart.

Her body responded with a flood of wetness between her thighs. Geez, a little soon maybe…

“Hi, Johnny,” she said softly, feeling suddenly shy and scared all at once. A baby. His baby. My god, it was surreal. Déjà vu, but this time she could tell him about it. This time nobody was forcing her to leave him for the sake of duty or country.

Though she also knew she couldn’t stay. It wasn’t possible. Sadness wrapped a fist around her and squeezed. They’d work it out. Somehow. He would know this child if he wanted to, even if they couldn’t be together.

“Hi, honey,” he said, stalking over to her bedside like a badass and bending to kiss her forehead. She was having none of that, however. She caught his face between her hands and pressed her mouth to his.

He groaned, his tongue swiping into her mouth, his kiss hard and possessive before he gently pushed her away and dropped into the chair beside her bed.

He confused her. She didn’t remember getting shot, but she remembered lying on the floor and telling him she loved him. She remembered him begging her not to leave him again. She also remembered hot tears dropping onto her face. His tears.

But this man was calm and in control. He’d said nothing about those moments, nothing about her declaration of love—or about his anguish when he’d thought she was dying. Maybe he’d changed his mind. It was possible. He had a lot to be angry over, so maybe those things had returned to the forefront of his mind. He’d been reacting to the situation, not out of any real return of the feelings he’d once had.

Yet just now, in that kiss, she’d thought there was something more. Some piece of that desperation he’d shown when he’d been kneeling beside her and begging her not to go. She reached for his hand because she couldn’t help herself, and he threaded his fingers through hers.

“You look fancy today,” she said. “Something happening?”

“I resigned my commission,” he said, and her heart knocked her ribs again.

“What? Why? I thought you were cleared. Ian said everything was good and you’d be taking command of HOT again.”

Ian had been to visit her once, but he’d had a lot to say about the mission and everything that had happened. She’d felt when he’d left that she knew more about him than she’d learned in the entire seven years she’d worked for him. Ian Black was a good man, no matter what anyone else thought about him.

Johnny squeezed her hand, his gaze dropping to their clasped fingers. Then he lifted her hand to his mouth, opening it and pressing a kiss to her palm. He didn’t look at her, and she got the impression he was dealing with a shit ton of emotion.

She reached over and touched his cheek. “Johnny. Please. You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

He sucked in a deep breath and lifted his head. His eyes glittered. It took her breath away and she cried out, pushing herself up and toward him.

“No, honey,” he said softly, standing and pressing her down again. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I’m fine. But you—” She searched his gaze as she lay back in the bed and stared up at him.

He grinned. “I’m fine. Swear it. Just feeling like a fucking baby at the moment, okay? Give me a minute to find my balls and I’ll be fine.”

She couldn’t help but laugh though her eyes filled with tears. “I still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. But I’ll help you with those balls if you like.”

He snorted a laugh. “I would like that. Very much. But not right now. You still have healing to do.”

“I’m not that helpless,” she scoffed.

He pressed a thumb to her lips, dragged it softly across them. It was all she could do not to moan. “No, that’s not your style at all,” he said. “But you still need to recover.”

She was beginning to get annoyed. Happily annoyed, but still. “You planning to tell me why you resigned or not?”

He leaned down and kissed her. Not the soft kiss she expected but a hot assault on her senses. Badass. Sexy badass.

“I resigned,” he said, his breath tickling her lips, “because I realized something in Russia. When you got shot—” His fingers squeezed hers where they still clasped hands, his other hand gently tracing a path along her jaw.

Her heart was a wild thing trapped in her chest. She didn’t know what he was going to say, but she desperately wanted to hear it. Because it couldn’t be bad, not if it was affecting him like this.

“I’m not living without you again. Twenty-one fucking years. I missed you every day. I never found love with anyone else because I stopped believing in it when you—when Valentina—died. But I believe in it again. And I believe I’d be a fool to throw it away. So I resigned, because if I have to choose between you and HOT, I choose you.”

He was blurry. Too, too blurry. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. “I don’t want you to have to choose, Johnny. It’s not fair—”

“Shh,” he said, laying a finger against her lips. “It’s important you know that I chose you. I want you to know that. But honey, the president didn’t accept my resignation. I’m still the HOT commander. Hell, I may even get a promotion.”

Her heart fell. Her stomach flipped. He’d chosen her, but the president wouldn’t let him resign? What did that mean? Oh God…

“It’s okay,” she said, screwing up her courage. “Duty comes first. I get that.”

He looked puzzled for a second. Then he smiled. “No, baby. It’s not like that. We’re not done. I told them I wouldn’t stay if I couldn’t have you.”

Okay, so now she was crying and shaking like a fool. And then he did something that made her cry even harder. He dropped to his knees beside the bed.

“Marry me, Kat. Stay here with me and be my wife. There’s never been anyone but you for me. There never will be.”

Kat couldn’t contain the sob that broke from her chest. Johnny got up and wrapped his arms around her, held her while she cried for all the lost years, the lost opportunities. And yes, their lost little boy. Oh God, especially for him.

“Shh, baby,” he said, his mouth against her hair. “It’s okay.”

She curled a fist into his crisp uniform sleeve. “I know.” She tipped her head back to look up at him. He was bending over her bed, holding her close, and her heart filled with love. “The answer is yes. But you knew that.”

He grinned. “I hoped, but I didn’t know for sure.”

“Oh, Johnny—I’ve loved you for almost half my life. How could there be another answer?” She shifted to the side. “You need to get in bed with me. Please.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“You should. You definitely should.” Because he probably needed to be lying down for what she was about to tell him.

“No funny business,” he said as he shifted until he could stretch out beside her. He held her close, and she put her cheek against his shoulder.

He smelled so good. Her body throbbed with arousal. Fear and excitement chased each other through her bloodstream.

“I’d really like some funny business,” she said. “Maybe even some kinky business.”

He groaned. “Don’t do this to me. Not right now.”

She could feel him growing hard against her leg. She moved so she could rub up against that hardness, and he groaned again.

“Kat. Seriously. I can’t take it.”

She stopped, though she didn’t want to, and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. “I have to tell you something, Johnny.” She dragged in a breath, blew it out again.

“Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

“I hope so,” she began. “Um, okay. The doctor was just here. And it might not last considering my age, so you should know that up front. And maybe that will be fine with you, because neither one of us is getting any younger, so—”

He put a finger to her lips again. “Just tell me, honey.”

“Okay. I’m pregnant.”

He didn’t speak. He blinked, his jaw falling open.

“Are you mad?” she asked. “A baby is a lot of work—and we’re not twenty anymore. But I want to keep it, Johnny. I never thought I’d have another, but I want him or her so badly. I know it’s crazy, but—”

He silenced her, his mouth taking hers in a hot, sweet, seductive kiss that stirred the desire simmering beneath the surface. When she got out of here… Oh man, she was going to tear his clothes off and have her wicked way with him. It couldn’t happen soon enough.

An eternity later, he lifted his head. “I love you, Kat. Now and forever. You and me and a baby. We can do this. And if it’s not meant to be, then we’ll be fine. But damn, I really want a baby with you. Sounds like heaven to me.”

She touched his jaw, slid her fingers along his cheek and into the short hair at his nape. “Being with you is all the heaven I need.”

He closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to hers. A tremor rippled through him, and she squeezed him tight.

“Every moment spent with you makes me whole. I’m never letting you go again,” he whispered.

“We’re a team. For the rest of our lives.”

“Yeah, we are, aren’t we?”

He kissed her again to seal the deal. Forever.