Chapter 1
Tucker thought about his hot tub lovemaking session with Brandy the night before. It sprang from the long kiss he’d given her after he told her to just lean back, put her arms out to the sides, and fly away with him to who knew where? He’d told her to just trust him, that he’d be right there behind her, just as they’d been the day before skydiving. He’d professed his love for her and promised to take care of her.
But he’d stopped short of asking her to marry him. That was what was giving him problems today as they drove to the winery picnic the whole group of SEALs and their wives and girlfriends were attending in Wine Country. Last night under the stars he’d taken her body as they’d floated in the hot tub, thrusting as if he rammed her hard enough, he’d stick there forever. He wanted to dig deep and never leave, and she accepted all of him, begging for more as he pleasured her every way he could think of. He kissed away all her tears as she released so beautifully in soft moans, shuddering and spurring him on, stroking her insides until his full release.
He’d even carried her wet nude body back through the patio and back into the barn where their cubicle was carved out with sheets hanging over stringer wires. He laid her back on the bed and worshiped her, nuzzling all the softness of her curvy hips and wonderful breasts. Her white flesh and droplets of water shone in the moonlight as his arms covered hers and clutched her fingers in his. Even as his kisses lowered to her belly he knew she was fast asleep, and he’d put her there in the land of Nod.
Was she dreaming of him?
He hadn’t slept, even after trying to sync with her breathing, but it was no use. He was not going to be able to sleep until whatever was needling him worked its way out, like an old splinter.
Morning came softly and he watched her sleepy body awaken to the sounds of birds outside. Her eyes were full of wonder as she lay next to him and stared at the wooden ceiling, like he had done all during the night.
They’d spoken very little this morning. The two of them showered together and she teased him but didn’t demand anything. Their fondling and tickling and kissing was always a pleasant start of the daily routine, most the time leading to another sexual encounter. But today, it was enough that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, as if the words spoken so sparsely last night under the night sky was enough to last them a month.
Maybe that was it.
“You’re so quiet this morning, Tucker. What has you so preoccupied?”
He smiled to cover up his surprise that he’d failed to mask his pensive mood. He glanced to his right and she wasn’t having any of it. He could lie, of course. But he wasn’t going to. He just wanted to remain silent until he figured out what was bothering him.
“I’m just happy, Brandy. Really happy.” It was the truth. But would it work?
She reached into his lap and felt his semi-hardness, and stroked him, coaxing him to lose himself between her fingers. He wanted to unbutton his pants but was hoping she’d do it. He did need release.
She continued to stroke up and down as he spread his knees further and he presented to her warm palm he could feel even through the fabric of his pants.
“This what you’re thinking about?” She asked. “We could always take a detour…”
He had a flash of clarity. He saw her in a wedding dress, and then he saw her belly grow large with a child. He was definitely having dangerous thoughts. Sex had always been just that: sex. With Brandy, he’d wanted to fill her, make her have his baby.
This scared the pants off him. While that would solve one problem, it left another one glaring: the more they made love the more he wanted her. This had never happened before. Even Shayla, his first wife, when they were young and fresh and fucking like rabbits all the time, even then he didn’t feel like this. He was burying himself to make roots, not to get himself off.
His hands were sweaty. His forehead too. His deep breathing was mistaken for arousal, causing Brandy to deftly slip her fingers inside his waistband and unfasten him. She seared him with a sultry smile just before she went down on him. He nearly went off the road, quickly checking his rear view mirror.
Her tongue curled around him. With one hand on the steering wheel, he placed his other palm at the back of her head buried in his lap, and pressed her onto him. She moaned as she sucked and kissed him to oblivion.
The sunshine was extremely bright outside as they continued down the winding two-lane country highway. It got brighter the more she worked on him—the closer he got to climax. And, bless her soul, just as he began to spill, she placed him between her enormous breasts and squeezed.
Brandy’s tee shirts were always too small for her, and the look of the cotton shoved up under her chin, her double large chest all ripe and firm, was a sight he’d never tire of looking at. A few seconds later and that tee shirt was desperately needed.
He laced his fingers through her hair. “God, Brandy, I’ve died and gone straight to Heaven.”
She rose to her knees, leaned over him, removed the wet shirt, and grabbed another one from her bag in the second seat. Pulling it tight over her breasts, her nipples puckered under the new pink fabric, bulging and knotted.
“You’re going to distract everyone at the picnic, sweetheart. No bra?”
She leaned back on the seat and tickled her nipples outside the cotton shirt. “No bra,” she said, with her eyes the size of a small child’s. “Will that make you jealous?”
“No, honey. I’m a man of action. I don’t dwell in those places of self-doubt and pity. I’ll beg you to ride my cock hard until you behave.”
She grinned, and then stared out the windshield. “I’m happy too, Tucker. Really happy. I wish I hadn’t been so afraid of this.”
He nodded, understanding he’d been her nearly first sexual partner, though he would have been easily fooled to think otherwise. She was preening, reapplying her lipstick that had been smeared all over his organ, which he now stowed back into his pants with one hand.
That word again came up: this. Just what was this? Should he tell her about the fantasies he’d been having? Or, should he not distract from her delicious mood, exploring the newfound feeling of love and lust all wrapped up in one velvet package? He’d experienced the cravings, but not these cravings that only lead to that stronger desire to have her again after every encounter.
Tucker knew he’d been intense as a SEAL, and perhaps that’s why Shayla left him for the other Team Guy. He’d been so focused on his career, on the brotherhood of men he was absolutely digging serving with, the danger and excitement of being a man’s man doing things most people couldn’t even comprehend. Now that he was out, perhaps that’s why he and Brandy had made the instant hook-up. He willingly let her be needy with him because he needed to give it all back. With Shayla, their carefree spirit gave way to routine and eventually boredom, where they were just going through the motions. They were pretending to be a couple long after she’d mentally and even physically moved on.
It was fucked up, and after the breakup it caused him to force a change of scenery, but he never felt he lost something he needed.
He needed Brandy.
That’s what made all this talk between them last night and internal thought this afternoon so dangerous. Brandy was very dangerous. She was lethal. And still he allowed his wrists to be bound by those golden ropes, his chest bleeding from the pain in his heart. He needed her so much he might die over it.
He saw the three Hummers and trucks pull up to the large steep-roof buildings of the winery created from a hop-drying kiln. Kyle and Cooper directed traffic and that’s when it hit him. He needed them too. He missed the contact he used to have with the Team Guys all weekend between deployments. Even when he knew Shayla was staying out late, making naked calls to the Team Guy who was on deployment, he still needed his buddies. It’s where he wanted to be most of all.
He barely had time to think about it as he was directed to park. But, would the same thing happen to them if he got accepted back on a SEAL Team? Would Brandy, now erupting with womanly wiles and enough pheromones to sink a battleship, find someone else to satisfy her when he was no longer around? Four and six month deployments were common these days, Kyle had warned. Would she wait for him? Could she wait for him?
Or, was that too much to ask?
Because he was still deep in thought, Brandy made it out of the truck before he did, and sauntered over to Christy and Dorie. He hoped she didn’t notice his lack of attention. Her voluptuous body swayed down the driveway in front of him, her long mahogany hair fluffed up by her fingers as she called out to her best friend. He could watch her all day, and had many nights.
But still, he felt like a heel. That talk show doctor would be wagging her finger at him. He was taking the cookies out of the cookie jar without paying for them. But had that doctor ever found two things she couldn’t do without like he had? Was it really fair to judge him so harshly?
At the precipice of an epic change in his life, Tucker wasn’t sure which pursuit he should concentrate on first. If he pursued joining a SEAL team, would marriage interfere with his training? And if he made the team, would he be able to be as devoted a husband as she required? Was it fair to Brandy to put her through all this?
He decided to wait on either event until he could see himself having both. Then he’d give the choice to Brandy and pray like hell somehow it all worked out.
Although he knew that was never the way to run a mission, it was going to have to just stay that way for a bit until he could figure things out. Because when he moved, he wanted to be balls to the wall. No excuses. No holding back. Going for it with every ounce of his being. He’d throw his heart out there in the ring too. Mix it up, and hope she’d agree to take him, wounded, unsure of himself than he ever wanted to admit.
She could love out all the kinks and inconsistencies lodged like pieces of glass inside him, while he was planting roots inside her.
There was a chance this could work. But just a chance.
In either event, it would be worth it.