Chapter 26
Magnolia hopped out of the cab of Calla’s truck, and just like the first day she arrived, her shoes sunk into the mud. She snapped up her head, half-expecting Dax to be waiting on the front porch for her, half-expecting her father to pop out his head and tell her that’s what she gets for wearing heels in the Tennessee mud. Rather than fight it, she slid her feet from her shoes and let her bare feet sink into the mud as she walked to the other side of the truck and pulled Hayden from the back seat. “Tell your folks I said thank you for watchin’ Hayden for me.”
Calla turned back from the driver’s seat. “You sure you don’t want me to stay with y’all for a little while?”
Magnolia put her head back, looking up at he ranch house where she’d grown up. All the lights were out and it would be dark soon. The house seemed so empty, so alone, so lost… exactly how she felt. “I think I need just a bit of quiet. Is that all right?”
“Of course. You know where to find me if you need me.” She gave Magnolia a half-smile, half-tearful goodbye.
Magnolia held up her hand. “No more cryin’, Calla. I think I cried enough tears to last me the next ten years.”
When she nodded, her blond curls bobbed. “I’m here.”
“I know.” She blew her a kiss then turned away. “I’ll call you later.”
Hayden tucked his head into her neck. The kid was forever falling asleep in any car. Normally, she’d wake him up or at least try to. But tonight, after everything they’d been through the past few days, she’d let him sleep. Not bothering to pull her heels out of the mud, she traipsed up the front porch, swung the door open and walked through. Usually, a fire would be burning in the hearth, the room would be flooded with warm light and down the hall she’d hear her dad riffling through papers. But now the house stood silent and still as if it too was in mourning.
“Maggie?” her mother called from the kitchen.
“It’s me, Mom.”
When she headed toward the stairs, her mother met her at the banister. “This place hasn’t changed much. Aside from that kitchen, your father had good taste.”
Magnolia had been shocked when her mother arrived in full New York fashion. She’d flown in, rented a car and showed up on her doorstep the next day. Magnolia had called and her mother had answered. Standing in front of her now, she saw what she was on her way to becoming. Stronger, independent, and willful… Her mother taught her that. She glanced back toward the kitchen. “Yeah, he really did.”
Her mother reached out and brushed her hand over her hair the way she did when she was younger. “Oh, honey, he loved you so much.” She reached out her arms for Hayden. “I’ll put him down for you.” She pointedly glanced at Magnolia’s mud-covered feet. “You should get cleaned up.”
“Yeah.” Magnolia passed Hayden into her mother’s waiting arms. As they disappeared out of sight, Magnolia turned to walk down the hall, stopping just outside her father’s office. In her mind, she saw him siting behind his desk, running his fingers through his hair and sorting through papers. His evergreen scent still clung to the air. On the corner of the desk sat a dirty coffee mug she didn’t have the heart to wash just yet. The thick brown Carhartt jacket her father wore for years hung over the back of the chair.
Magnolia walked into the room, running her fingers over the shelves and around the desk. When she pulled his jacket around her shoulders and sat behind his desk, she somehow felt closer to him. At the cemetery, she didn’t feel her father there, but here in this office, she felt him all around her. She pulled the collar of the jacket to her nose and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent and the smell of the ranch that clung to it. She closed her eyes, and a small smile played on his lips.
“I used to love the way he smelled too.”
She flashed her eyes wide to look at her mother standing against the door jamb, with her arms crossed over her chest. It was almost a glimpse into what she’d look like in the future, with her hair cropped just above her shoulders, her steady green-hazel eyes, and impeccably dressed in straight black slacks, a white pinstripe shirt and black cardigan. Her mother pressed her hand to the pearls around her neck. “Your father gave me these.”
When her eyes began to glint, Magnolia wanted to pull her into her arms. Her mother raised her hand. “No, you stay there, I have something to tell you.”
Magnolia leaned back in the plush desk chair. “What do mean?”
Her mother walked in, taking one of the chairs opposite Magnolia. “A long time ago when I left here,” she swallowed, “left you…”
“Mom, you don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do. I want you to know your father never did anything wrong when it came to us.” She hiccuped. “It was my fault.”
Magnolia sat forward, resting her hands on the table. “What are you talking about?”
She swiped at her cheek. “I was so young, Maggie. And I just wasn’t ready for all this.” She motioned to the house.
Staring at her mother, Magnolia realized she inherited more than her looks. When she was younger, she ran just like her mother had. Magnolia pressed her hand to her forehead. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to know your dad was an amazing man, he raised you, and he let me go because I wanted him to. I knew he loved me, and I loved him. But I felt so trapped here.” She pulled her cardigan closer around her shoulders. “But now I see how wrong I was.”
“Oh, Mom, we all mistakes when we’re younger.” Thinking back on how she’d left Dax all those years ago, she knew that feeling of being trapped very well. Even now, the walls seemed to be closing in on her. “You did what you thought was right. You shouldn’t hold regrets.”
“Oh, but Maggie, I do.” She sniffled. “I never had the chance to tell your father how I truly felt. I was so determined to prove I could make it in the big city on my own and be without him, I forgot what the most important things in the world were.”
“What’s that?”
“You and him. I loved him dearly. And now he’ll never know it.” She pressed her fist to her chest. “And I will have to live the rest of my life knowin’ he never knew it.”
“Oh, Mom.” Magnolia rose to her feet and rounded the desk, scooping her mother up in her arms. “He was loved, Mom, and he knew it.”
Her mother sobbed into her shoulder. “He didn’t know about me, though. He was a good, strong man, and I walked away.”
Magnolia squeezed her harder, wishing she could take away this hurt from her mother. “Mom, don’t you worry. Hayden and I, we might move back up to New York once all this is taken care of.”
“What do you mean?” Her mother pulled back to look her in the face.
Magnolia dropped her arms. “I don’t know if I can stay here after all this. So much has happened—with Dad, with Dax. I just feel so lost.”
“Did you feel at home in New York? I mean, honey, you had no friends there or anything.”
“I know, but even now, I don’t know if I can handle runnin’ the ranch. Or handle bein’ around Dax after this.” She gazed down at her hands. “I still love him, Momma.”
“Magnolia, now, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, because Lord knows you’ll do the exact opposite, but even dealin’ with everythin’ that’s been thrown at you the past few weeks, this is the most at home I’ve ever seen you.” She reached up, stroking Magnolia’s cheek. “This land—this ranch—is in your blood, baby. Don’t give up because things got a little hard. Or you’ll end up just like me.”
“Would that be so bad?”
As her mother looked around the room then gazed out the window, she nodded. “It is if you have to live with half the regret that I do.”