Chapter Eighteen
Lainey
Calvin sat in the lounge, reading something on his phone, and looking quite the GQ model, making my insides twist again. I dreaded approaching him—my stomach was in knots. I’d barely slept most of the night, though he wouldn’t have known it. I know he didn’t go straight to sleep either, no doubt wondering why I’d acted so strange toward the end of the night.
I’d laid awake and just watched him. I forgave myself for acting rashly and making bad choices, but I was being honest when I made them. I made them with my eyes open. How could Calvin turn out to be so different to the man I thought he was?
That’s what went through my mind the entire time I stared at his handsomely rugged face. How could this seemingly honest, kind-hearted man deceive me so completely?
“How did it go with your professor?” he asked, casually.
“Good. He likes the idea. There’s mountains of paperwork, but it’s probably going to be doable. I have to contact some children’s agencies, the school district, and look at some funding sources while I’m out here. I have a lot of work to do. It’s probably going to be boring, so I’m okay if you want to head back without me. I might not be as much fun as you’d hoped I would be,” I said, alluding to the fact that I wasn’t planning on being his toy.
With all the thinking I’d done the night before, the only thing I came up with was that he obviously had some significant past he was unwilling to share with me—and that worried the hell out of me. Sure, we were still getting to know each other, but I didn’t want to get involved with a man who maybe had dark secrets. Was he a crook? A player? A serial killer for all I knew? The ease with which he’d befriended me and brought me into his life had me terrified that there was, perhaps, something more sinister about him. Even though it was hard to believe this kind man was anything other than he appeared, there was something wrong about all that was right on this trip.
I kept running over everything in my mind. The flight tickets. How did he know the hotel we were staying in? How did he know the owner of a Latin club in Brooklyn? Why was the flash of a card enough to get us past the line and inside? Why was he sitting in the living room of our suite looking like a GQ model instead of a rough rancher? Why was he so at ease here in New York? None of it made any sense. He didn’t make any sense.
“Lainey, it’s okay. I know you have a lot to do, I didn’t come out here for you to entertain me. You do what you need to, and I’ll do other stuff. Let’s stay in touch so when you’re free, we can be together,” he offered.
“I’m just not sure when that’s going to be, Calvin. I have a lot of friends to see.” I knew I was being cold, but I felt driven to push him away.
“Okay, I thought we might see your friends together, but we don’t have to.” He hung his head and seemed disappointed.
“I mean, we had fun, but it’s not like you’re my boyfriend or anything.” Too late. My mouth had gotten away from my mind and there, I’d said it. Yep, I’d become a crazy, stone-hearted bitch and now I was sure his head would be spinning. What a difference a day makes.
He took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. I’d put it out there—me, the one who’d known him all of seven days. Wow, I was off the edge. He seemed calm as he measured his response.
“Is there something going on with you? Did I do something to upset you?” he asked.
“Is there something going on with you, Calvin?” I countered. “If that’s your real name.”
“What? Oh, I think I get it—” he responded, but I cut him off.
“Who the hell are you? You’re this rough and gruff cowboy in Texas and now, in New York, you fly us both out here First Class, you know the hotel, the bouncer at the nightclub… Are you with the mafia? Some sort of organized crime syndicate? Or… or... a drug cartel? Is that really alfalfa you’re growing at the ranch, or is it…?” And that’s what completely insane sounded like as my mind raced at a hundred miles an hour.
He tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t stop himself, and he let it out, uncontrollably. I tried not to laugh too, and I did a pretty good job of it. No mistake, I was pissed off, and mainly with myself for falling for someone I hardly knew. He wasn’t who I thought he was, but who was he? Had he ever said? I’d held him up to be my dream guy, and truth be told, he hadn’t really done anything wrong. I was just, um… so ready to find bad things, I also saw them in the good.
“I think it’s time I confess,” he said after his laughter had subsided.
“Oh, God! This needs a confession?” Now I was really freaked. “Please, don’t let it be anything bad.”
“Well, probably not as bad as you think it is… or maybe it is? I hope not,” he said.
“What the hell is it? Tell me.” I was shaking and sat down on the end of the couch.
“It’s really no big deal, but I had a life here before I moved to the ranch. My grandfather left me the property in Texas, but before that I was co-owner of Ronco Oil, here in the city. I ran the company for several years with my wife.”
I just sat and listened in disbelief.
“Your wife? You have a fucking wife?” I was now officially in shock. Nothing made any sense.
“Ex-wife,” he corrected. “We divorced a few years ago. We ran the company and had a building in Manhattan. It was her father’s company before he signed it over to us. He also had other real estate here where his family was from originally. His sons got the other properties in New York, and his daughter, being the eldest, got the company. She’s the overseer now since we sold it to a larger corporation.”
“Holy friggin’ moly, I can’t believe it,” I said, bringing my hands to my face.
“I have the proceeds from that sale. I may not look like it, but I’m actually a multi-millionaire.”
My jaw dropped, and I felt my eyes widening. “Bullshit. You are so not a millionaire,” I said after a few seconds taking it all in. “Are you?”
“Multi-millionaire,” he reiterated. “Now listen, Lainey, please. I never meant to deceive you, okay? It’s just I hate who I was back then. You wouldn’t have liked me. Trust what I’m saying on that, and I’ve done everything in my power to avoid becoming that kind of man again. What you see now is who I want to be and I’m not going back.”
“So, all this… this… what we’ve done these past days… was it for real, or was I just a welcome distraction?” I asked, hoping deep inside I wouldn’t be disappointed by his answer.
“A welcome distraction? You bet you are,” he said, smiling, “but please understand, I may have been hasty, but it doesn’t change my feelings for you one bit. I’m responsible for the choices I make, and I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. And you, Lainey, I’ve wanted to be with you from the moment we first met.”
And there it was… so much to digest.
“It just doesn’t seem like you, though.” I still felt a little crushed that he hadn’t told me before.
“It isn’t me, at least, not the me I am now. The me I hope I am is a rancher and a sincere lover. The old Calvin was a ruthless, arrogant and greedy son-of-a-bitch, driven only by the pursuit of money. I partied hard and flashed the cash, so I’m well-remembered around here.”
“So that’s why the bouncer let us straight in at the club.” It was all falling into place for me now.
“Yes, but I want to put that reputation behind me and focus on the life I’ve made for myself.” He sighed and gave me a pointed look then added, “There’s no denying I’d be really hurt if you left, or decided you didn’t want to see me anymore, but I couldn’t blame you if you didn’t, now you know the truth.”
Yes, I had the right to decide, but what would I be deciding? Did I want to be with a man who lied for his own convenience? Or, at the very least, someone who chose to hide some important truths about his past from me. Who was the real Calvin? I still felt overwhelmed.
“It’s hard for me to trust people,” I confessed.
“I understand. It would be. You’ve been through a lot.” He seemed so genuine and sincere, but then he’d seemed that way the whole time I’d known him.
“I don’t know what to say.” And that was the truth. Words were not my friend at that moment.
“How about you say, you’ll give me a chance? I know I should have told you before, but we were getting along so well, and I didn’t want to do or say anything to spoil that. You can end it now if you want, but I think we have something special going on between us. I don’t care about money or power anymore. You are all I want, Lainey. So, give us a shot,” then he started laughing again.
“What now? You come out with all that and then start laughing?” I was feeling a little exasperated with his light-heartedness at the situation.
“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching out for my hand, and I let him take it. “I didn’t mean to come across as flippant. I don’t mind saying, I’m a little nervous right now since I don’t want us to end. That would be a tragedy. It’s just that things normally go a little different around here in this city.”
“Oh, how so?” I replied, searching his eyes for sincerity.
“Well, I tell you I’m a multi-millionaire, and you want to end it all because you thought I was just a man of modest means. Just a cowboy from small town Texas. Most of the women I know in this town would be wide-eyed and flushed with greed right now. I love that about you… that you don’t even care about my wealth,” he said genuinely.
He had a point, and I had to admit he hadn’t really changed since I’d known him. Ok, so he wasn’t exactly what my whacked-out fantasy had made him out to be. I realized then I’d been a little irrational by putting him on that pedestal. I mean, we’re both in our twenties. Who doesn’t have a past? Aren’t people allowed second chances? Did I really care if he had an ex-wife? Did it matter to me that he was once an arrogant asshole?
Nope. I believed him when he said he’d changed and stepped away from all that. He’d been the perfect gentleman since we met, and on the plus side, he loved my hometown of New York as much as I did. He was my oh, so sexy neighbor in Texas. He made me feel like a goddess whenever we made love. Oh, fuck. Yes, he did! And he was a millionaire, to boot... A girl can change her mind, right?
“I’m sorry too. I’ve been judgmental, and it’s just… I had a picture in my head of the kind of man you were… and then we came here, and… it just seemed you were a different person to whom I’d imagined. But you aren’t different, it’s just my understanding of who you are that’s changed. I love it that you like New York, and you’ve been here long enough to know how I feel about it. That’s important to me,” I said softly.
“Thank God,” he said, pulling me close into his muscular chest, wrapping his strong arms around me and hugging me tight. “I was preparing myself for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech for a minute there,” he said with a chuckle. “That would have been the worst scenario I could have imagined. I really love you, Lainey.”
“I love you too,” I whispered, then he took my face in his hands and kissed me so long, so sensuously.
When we finally came up for air, he said, “Listen, I’ve been thinking. What you’re planning to do with the disadvantaged kids is totally amazing, and I want to support you any way I can. You don’t have to go any farther for your funding. I’m more than happy to give it to you. It’s there if you want it.” He smiled graciously.
“Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe what was happening. “But you hardly know me. What if you… me… what if we…”
“Shhh. That’s not going to happen, ok?” he said with such confidence.
“But, what if—”
“It won’t,” he interrupted. “You’re stuck with me, but to put your mind at rest, I’ll have my lawyers draw something up. I never want that to be an issue, and what good is money to me in a bank? I’d never be able to spend it all, anyway.” His smile widened. His tone, genuine and proud. “I’d love to be involved with this project. It’s an incredible and selfless thing you’re doing.”
Holy crap. Did I just fall on my feet with this guy, or what?
And that was it. My heart melted for him all over again. We made up, made love, and made the rest of our time in New York so memorable, but both looking forward to returning to Texas.
Funny… looking back just a few short weeks, I’d dreaded leaving my beloved city for a one-horse town in the middle of nowhere, but I’d learned a good lesson to embrace change. You never know what’s around the corner.
It was kinda scary to realize that if I’d stayed in New York, I’d never have met and fallen in love with this kind, caring, lovable knight in shining armor, and I was so proud to call him my boyfriend.
He said I was stuck with him. Poor guy. He didn’t know what he’d signed up for, but I’d be saddling up on that sexy cowboy, every day.
Happy trails…