Chapter 27
When Matt arrived at the cottage early the next morning, the van, which I had decided to call ‘Birdie’ because of her distinctive custard yellow colour, was packed to the gunnels, ready for my first solo expedition. I’d been having a bit of a tidy-up in the workshop area of the big shed while waiting for the first coat of primer on the Bailey to dry and had discovered some bits and pieces I thought Amber might like for Honey. Birdie’s surprisingly capacious interior was plenty big enough to take everything in one trip, even the little plastic slide I had managed to take apart, and as soon as the sun had appeared over the horizon I had packed everything up ready to go, including Minnie.
‘Morning!’ I called to Matt as he swung into the yard.
I unwound the van windows as far as I dared, making sure Minnie could get her nose out but nothing else. Given the fact that Matt had been practically living at the cottage lately, it really was high time she had got used to him turning up by now.
‘Hi,’ he yawned, hauling himself and his tool bag out of the van. ‘You can’t leave her in there all day,’ he said, with a nod to Minnie who was eyeing him furtively and no doubt trying to weigh up her chances of crawling through the inch and a half of open glass I had allowed her. ‘That thing will heat up in no time, even if it is a bit chilly at the moment.’
I was none too impressed with him referring to my new mode of transport as a ‘thing’; however, he was right about the weather. For the first time that morning the air had a definite edge to it and had I not known what the date was I might have assumed it was somewhere far nearer autumn than it actually was. However, shored up as I was by the heady prospect of hitting the open road (quiet country lane actually), I let his disparaging comments about my transport pass.
‘We’re going out,’ I told him, ‘so she’ll be fine just for a minute.’
‘Out?’ questioned Matt, his eyes as round as Polo mints.
‘Yes,’ I said, laughing at his reaction, ‘out. You’ll be all right on your own here for a bit, won’t you? I’m not planning to be long.’
‘Well, I suppose so,’ he said, scratching his sun-bleached head as if I wasn’t making any sense.
‘And at least you won’t have madam here to contend with,’ I told him.
Right on cue, Minnie gave a disgruntled woof and I went to reach for the door, but Matt stopped me.
‘Are you not waiting for Will, then?’
‘Not for this trip,’ I shrugged. ‘I’m only going as far as Skylark Farm so I should be all right.’
‘Well, as long as you’re sure,’ he said doubtfully, biting his lip as Minnie let out another woof of frustration.
‘I thought you’d be happy I could manage without him,’ I said, my freshly formed confidence crumbling a little in the face of his concern. ‘Especially given the way you two seem to feel about each other. I thought you’d be pleased I didn’t need him.’
‘No, I am pleased,’ he said. ‘Of course I am, I’m just a little taken aback, that’s all.’
‘In what way?’
‘Well,’ he sighed, ‘whenever the topic of driving has come up you’ve been reluctant to even consider it.’
That was true enough.
‘And I always felt you were cajoled into taking the van on, rather than really wanting it.’
Also true.
‘If anything, you’ve looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights when considering the prospect of climbing behind the wheel.’
‘That’s because I’ve felt like one,’ I said with a laugh.
‘But now,’ he went on, ‘literally within hours of buying Mags’s van, you’re off and running.’
‘It’s only up the road,’ I said, keen to remind myself as much as him that this really was a fool-proof journey and no big deal.
‘But even so,’ he said, ‘it’s a bit of a speedy turnaround, considering you said you were terrified of driving. Or am I getting this a bit out of proportion?’
‘I know it’s all happened really fast,’ I agreed, ‘but Will took me out last night, or rather I took Will out,’ I murmured, amazed at the thought that I had found the courage to do that, ‘and everything just seemed to click into place. It was brilliant, actually.’
I was talking about far more than just doing a few runs up and down the deserted drove road but Matt didn’t know that and I wasn’t about to tell him.
‘I see,’ he said.
‘No,’ I replied, ‘you probably don’t, but that’s not your fault.’
‘Tell me then.’ He was beginning to sound impatient. ‘Explain to me what it is that I’m missing.’
I had absolutely no desire to tell him about my heartbreak over losing Shaun or how I had finally admitted to myself just how devastating and long-lasting the impact of Mum leaving me had been. Her desertion had meant I had ended up living the tiniest, safest life possible.
I could see now that I had spent literally decades jogging sedately along life’s path, blinkered to all diversions and digressions for fear of putting a foot wrong and hurting someone in the process, but that was all far too much personal information to share with someone who was fixing up my house and with whom I had shared nothing more intimate than a tipsy kiss.
‘Things have been changing for me ever since I moved here,’ I said simply.
‘What things?’
‘Everything,’ I said. ‘I just want to get on with things here now and start enjoying myself. I want to grasp my new life with both hands and make the most of this wonderful gift that Gwen has generously left me.’
‘Even if it is all in a bit of a state,’ he reminded me, ‘and is going to cost a small fortune to put right?’
‘Even then,’ I sighed, looking over towards the cottage and imagining the numbers on my bank balance rolling back to zero. ‘I’m planning to make a real future for myself here, Matt,’ I said determinedly, then quickly added, before he had time to interrupt again, ‘in spite of the initial teething problems. Cuckoo Cottage is my life now, and until you mentioned the agricultural restrictions, I thought it was going to be my vocation as well, but the jury is out on that one now.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
Matt had been looking more and more confused with every word I said, as well he might, given that he had no idea what I had planned for the caravans still stored in the shed.
I shook my head.
‘Never mind for now,’ I said. ‘But if it does end up happening, I promise you’ll be the first to know.’
Second, if you counted Amber, of course, but for the moment I’d forgotten that she and I had stumbled upon the idea in separate but perfectly timed synchronicity.
‘But perhaps I could help,’ said Matt eagerly. ‘If you just tell me what it is that you’re planning, then I might be able to find a way of helping you make it work?’
I looked up at him for a second and wondered whether perhaps I should just tell him. After all, he was a local, and a builder to boot. He knew all about the restrictions and probably came across tricky situations like this all the time, and even if he didn’t, I dare say he had a cousin or some other relative who did.
‘Maybe,’ I said, still not entirely convinced it was time to share. ‘Thank you. I’ll think about it, but if it all comes to nothing,’ I added, opening the door and pushing Minnie aside before she had gathered her wits and jumped out, ‘you’ll have wasted your time trying to help with something destined to fail.’
‘But if you do tell me and I can help,’ he said reasonably, ‘you’d be saved no end of time and worrying. You said you had business plans, didn’t you?’
‘And you said there would be agricultural restrictions to scupper them,’ I reminded him.
‘I know,’ he said, ‘but sometimes there are ways around them, room for manoeuvre, especially if you know the right people.’ I was pretty sure that was a suggestion that he might know the right people, but I still wasn’t prepared to give anything away. Our relationship was finally back on a professional footing and I was in no hurry to blur the edges of it again.
‘Look,’ I said, turning over the engine, ‘I told Amber I’d be there soon so I’d better go or she’ll be sending out a search party, but I promise I’ll think about what you’ve said.’
‘All right,’ he said, stepping back.
‘I won’t be long,’ I called. ‘Perhaps we’ll talk again when I get back.’
‘OK.’
‘And please, try not to discover any more problems while I’m gone.’
‘I’ll try,’ he called back. ‘But I’m not making any promises.’
It was a slow, but thankfully uneventful journey to Skylark Farm and I pulled into the gateway feeling suitably proud of myself for having negotiated the twists and turns without incident. I wasn’t sure if the townsfolk of Wynbridge would much care for my ‘slow and steady’ pace, but I would worry about that another day.
‘Well, look at you!’ laughed Amber as she rushed out of the farmhouse door with Honey nestled, as ever, on her hip. ‘How does it feel to finally be driving?’
‘Liberating,’ I told her, even though my hands were still shaking. ‘I feel as if I can go anywhere now.’
‘Good,’ she smiled.
‘As long as I can drive there before the rush hour, of course,’ I added with a wry smile.
As the grass was still damp we decided to leave unloading the van until later.
‘Morning, Lottie,’ beamed Jake as he appeared in the doorway with a slice of toast and a mug of coffee. ‘Fancy a spot of breakfast?’
‘Yes, please,’ I nodded enthusiastically. ‘I was too nervous to eat before I left and now I’m starving.’
‘I’ll make you a bacon sarnie if you like,’ he offered. ‘Assuming Will hasn’t eaten it all, of course.’
‘Has he been here already?’ I asked, concerned that he’d had another call-out to the farm.
‘Just a social call,’ said Jake. ‘He wanted to talk about you actually, Lottie.’
‘Oh?’
‘Jake!’ said Amber sharply, before turning to me. ‘You’ll have to excuse him. He’s hardly the soul of discretion, is he?’
‘Well, it’s hardly a secret,’ said Jake, looking puzzled. ‘Is it?’
Amber shrugged and stepped out of the way to let the Labradors, Bella and Lily, get to Minnie who was rolling about the floor, clearly delighted to be reunited with her doggy pals again.
‘I hope you don’t mind me bringing Minnie,’ I said. ‘Only, Matt’s working at the cottage today and she still can’t stand the sight of him. She gets upset if I shut her in the dining room, but I haven’t had much choice.’
Amber and Jake exchanged looks.
‘Do you mind?’
‘Not about Minnie being here,’ said Jake pointedly. ‘But I’m not sure about all this so-called work that Matt keeps discovering needs doing. Perhaps you should pay a bit more heed to Minnie’s reaction to your ever-present handyman, Lottie.’
Amber didn’t say anything as she strapped Honey into her high chair and kissed the top of her soft little head.
‘Is that what Will came to talk to you about?’ I frowned. ‘I know he doesn’t think much of Matt either, but given that you invited him to the Lammas party the other week I’d sort of assumed that you and he were friends.’
‘Friendly rather than friends, I’d say,’ corrected Amber. ‘He’s helped us out with a couple of jobs here this year, but that’s all. Will was actually wondering about the validity of this connection Matt claims to have had to Gwen.’
‘So why hasn’t he asked me about it?’ I said, feeling a little disgruntled about Will, but also surprisingly relieved that I’d made a point of setting Matt straight after our kiss. ‘We’ve seen each other practically every other day recently and he hasn’t said a word.’
‘Because you made it very clear that it was none of his business,’ said Jake bluntly as the bacon began to sizzle on the Aga.
‘But that was ages ago,’ I said defensively. ‘Before we became friends.’
‘Well, I’m guessing he still thinks the subject is off-limits and he doesn’t want to fall out with you again, especially given how long it took the pair of you to start being civil to one another.’
‘He likes you, Lottie,’ said Amber quietly.
She may have only whispered it but those four words made my stomach roll in a way that had nothing to do with the sizzle of the delicious breakfast Jake was cooking.
‘Just be careful,’ he warned as he began to butter the bread Amber was slicing. ‘Don’t just rush in and agree to everything Matt suggests you have done. Think it through first, OK?’
‘I have been questioning him about things,’ I said defensively, ‘but he’s always been able to prove he’s right. I’m guessing you don’t think I can trust him either then, Jake?’
‘Let’s just say I think you need to think carefully about prioritising how you spend your money,’ he said meaningfully, ‘even if Matt can allegedly justify what he’s doing.’
I was a little hurt that Will felt he still couldn’t broach this subject with me, especially given how our relationship had developed since our rocky start, and what about his promise to help me with some of the work on the house?
He might have jumped in the passenger seat of my little van to act as my chaperone, but he hadn’t so much as shown me how to change a plug in the cottage. Was he staying out of the way because he didn’t want to stand on Matt’s toes, and if that was the case, had he made the mistake of thinking there was more between my builder and me than blocked pipes and crumbling plasterwork?
‘So what did you really want to talk about?’ asked Amber as she passed a plate stacked with the biggest bacon butties I had ever encountered. ‘I’m guessing you haven’t just braved the lanes to drop off toys for Honey, or am I wrong?’
‘No,’ I said, taking a delicious bite and groaning in pleasure. ‘As pleased as I am to pass the things on, there is something else,’ I added as I savoured the crisp saltiness.
‘Not a bad breakfast this, is it?’ said Jake proudly.
‘I’ve never tasted better,’ I confirmed.
‘So come on,’ encouraged Amber as she fed Honey tiny bits of sandwich from her plate, ‘what’s on your mind?’
Jake pushed back his chair and put his dishes next to the sink.
‘I think I’ll leave you girls to it,’ he said, kissing Amber’s cheek. ‘I’m guessing you won’t need my input.’
‘I might,’ I told him, ‘but I’m not sure.’
‘Well, come and find me if you want me,’ he said. ‘I’ll be in the orchards.’
‘Thanks,’ I said, ‘and thanks for the breakfast.’
‘Anytime. I hope you don’t mind me mentioning my concerns about Matt?’
‘Not at all,’ I told him. ‘I’m sure you and Will are wrong, at least I hope you are, but it’s nice to have people looking out for me nonetheless. I’ve never really had that luxury before.’
‘Well, I hope we’re wrong too,’ he smiled. ‘See you in a bit, Honey bee.’
Honey looked at him and wrinkled her nose before breaking into a toothy grin and waving goodbye with buttery fingers.
‘So,’ said Amber when Jake was out of earshot. ‘What’s up? You haven’t changed your mind about the glamping site, have you?’
‘What makes you say that?’
‘Well, I thought you’d be telling everyone about the idea by now. I know you’ve been busy getting the Cherry Tree van finished but I assumed you would want to spread the word and see what folk thought. I’m sure the gossiping would stop if everyone knew what you had in mind. I mean, no one’s going to complain about having a few more tourists in the town, are they? Just think of the extra income they would generate.’
‘Well, I don’t know about that,’ I said sadly. ‘In fact, I think it’s lucky I’ve managed not to say anything if that’s how you really think people would have reacted. I would have hated to build their hopes up only to disappoint them again.’
‘Whatever do you mean?’
‘I do still want it all to happen,’ I told her, ‘more than anything, but I’m not sure it’s going to now.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Because of the agricultural restrictions on the land,’ I explained, ‘and the fact that I probably won’t get permission to run a business from the yard.’
‘What agricultural restrictions?’
‘I have it on very good authority,’ I sighed, ‘that running any kind of business from Cuckoo Cottage is not going to be possible.’
I hadn’t had it officially spelled out for me yet, of course, but Matt had said it in such a way that I had no reason to think he was wrong, and the fact that he had been so surprised that I hadn’t realised that there would be rules and regulations about what I could and couldn’t do with the place only increased my belief in what he had said. Even though Jake and Will had their doubts about the work he was doing, I was fairly certain he knew what he was talking about and waiting to speak to David was, to my mind, nothing more than a formality.
If possible, Amber looked even more perplexed than I felt.
‘Are you absolutely sure about this?’ she frowned. ‘Have you had it all properly confirmed? What does David have to say about it?’
‘Can I take it from your reaction that you don’t think there are any regulations, then?’
‘Well, I don’t know,’ she said, wiping the butter from Honey’s hands before she spread more through her hair. ‘I haven’t given it any thought. When we talked about the project, I knew you would have to get planning permission and so forth, but then so did you, surely?’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but I didn’t think it would be too much of a problem.’
‘Well, neither did I,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry, Amber.’
My spirit sagged a little further. I had hoped she would tell me outright that I was wrong, that there had been some mistake, but the fact that she did neither only served to confirm that what Matt had said was indeed right. I hoped David would soon come back from wherever he had gone.
‘I can’t deny I’m devastated,’ I croaked, a lump forming in my throat and my vision blurring. ‘I seem to be taking one step forward and three back these days.’
‘But you’re still pleased about the fact that you’re finally driving and with the work you’re doing on the Cherry Tree van, aren’t you?’
‘Oh, absolutely,’ I nodded, blowing my nose. ‘I couldn’t be happier about all that.’
But, truth be told, suddenly everything felt as if it was on the edge of going wrong, and if it carried on going much further downhill I really would have no money left and would be preparing to put the place up for sale even before the year was up.
It was the last thing I wanted to do, of course, especially as Gwen had been so kind and gone to so much trouble over the cottage and collecting the vans, but it was a possibility I could no longer deny. If things didn’t start to look up soon, my new life at Cuckoo Cottage was going to be over before it began.
‘Let’s go and unpack these things,’ I said, trying my best to rally. ‘The grass must be dry by now.’
Honey absolutely loved the little plastic slide and quickly pulled off her socks as Amber filled the paddling pool with a tiny bit of water for her to splash about in. We stood watching her giggling and playing and I looked at the idyllic Skylark Farm set-up, thinking how I had hoped to create something similar for myself.
‘Don’t look so worried,’ smiled Amber encouragingly, ‘I’ll ask Jake if he has any thoughts about these regulations. I won’t tell him what you’re planning, of course.’
‘All right,’ I nodded, ‘thanks.’
‘I didn’t know you’d installed a pool?’
We turned round to find Harriet and Rachel walking down the drive.
‘Invitations to come and swim are in the post,’ laughed Amber.
‘I should think so too,’ smiled Harriet.
‘Do you want tea?’ asked Amber.
‘Thanks, but I’d rather have something cold, if it’s no trouble?’ requested Harriet.
‘Same for you, Rachel?’
‘Yes, please.’
Rachel and I stayed outside with Honey while Amber and Harriet went to get some apple juice and glasses from the kitchen.
‘So how’s the cottage?’ asked Rachel as she knelt next to the pool and began splashing, much to Honey’s obvious delight.
‘Good,’ I said, ‘it’s finally coming together and the minivan’s great.’
‘Mags is like a cat with two tails this morning,’ Rachel laughed.
‘Is she?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Harriet as she came out carrying the bottles of juice. ‘Although she’s more pleased that you’ve taken on her beloved van than she is about getting herself a new truck.’
That sounded like Mags, generous to a fault.
‘Well, I’ve promised to look after her,’ I said, looking back at my little Birdie. ‘Perhaps I’ll pop down and see her later.’
‘She’d like that,’ said Rachel, ‘although she’s working late tonight. You wouldn’t believe the amount of work involved at the nursery at this time of year.’
‘Every time of year,’ butted in Harriet, handing round glasses.
‘True,’ Rachel agreed.
‘Did you have any problems setting the nursery up?’ I asked.
‘What sort of problems?’
‘Getting planning permission and dealing with restrictions and things?’
‘Well, the initial set-up was simple enough,’ confided Harriet, ‘and there were no restrictions as such. The land belonged to my dad’s farm, you see, but there have been a few hoops to jump through now we’re opening to the public, but, by and large, it’s all been pretty straightforward really.’
‘Why do you ask?’ asked Rachel.
‘I just wondered how these things work,’ I said, draining my glass.
‘You aren’t thinking of setting up a nursery as well, are you?’ Harriet teased.
‘Absolutely not,’ I smiled bravely while wishing my own plans were going to fall into place as easily as Harriet and Rachel’s. ‘I can’t even keep a cactus alive.’