She felt trapped in an endless nightmare. Selena turned her focus back to the client in front of her.

“Yes, Mr. McBeal. For this first quarter of the year, you’re on board to save twice as much as you did last year around this time.”

“So it was all worth the risk.”

Selena smiled. “It was a good gamble.”

“I’m lucky to have you, dear. I’m certain if I had done this on my own, I would’ve invested in the wrong stock and chased my money with my tail.”

The older gentleman laughed at his own joke and reached over the desk to shake Selena’s hand. She accepted it, rising to her feet to walk Mr. McBeal to the door.

“Have a good day, Mr. McBeal.”

“You, too, darling.”

Selena stepped back and closed her door then returned to her chair. She closed out a few files that sat open on her computer and worked to keep her mind from her troubles. Some she’d created and some not. It had been six days since she’d walked up on her father having Valentine’s Day dinner with his, whatever she was, and the anger Selena felt had not fizzled. Her father reached out to her, but Selena made it clear to the ladies at S & M Financial that she wasn’t taking any pop-up visits or phone calls from him.

All that seemed to do was direct his calls to her cell phone, but Selena was a fortress, incapable of being reached. What was worse, Selena hadn’t spoken to Jordan. He’d called incessantly for two days before going completely silent. Selena didn’t know whether to be relieved or worried that she might never hear from him again. Whichever it was, her week had been stoic as she went about business as usual.

When the phone on Selena’s desk rang with the sequenced three quick shrills, she breathed easy that it was an internal call. Selena lifted the receiver and placed it to her ear.

“Yes.”

“Do you have a client? It’s Octavia.”

Selena shifted the phone to her other ear and continued to close out the programs on her computer.

“No.”

“Okay, I wanted to touch basis with you about Samiyah’s baby shower.”

“When is it again?”

“This Friday.”

“Oh, okay, what’s up?”

“Were you able to get the bakery to agree to make the cake within the time frame we have?”

“Um, oh, shit,” Selena grumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Let me call you back. I need to check on something.”

“Selena.”

Selena sighed. “Yes.”

“Do we need to have a pow-wow? What’s going on?”

“No, I’m good, it just slipped my mind, but I’ll get it done.”

Octavia became quiet.

“Hello?”

“It must be Jordan,” Octavia said.

Selena frowned. “What must it be Jordan?”

“You’re excited about the awards luncheon this weekend, and it slipped your mind.”

At the mention of the luncheon, Selena groaned inwardly.

“Am I right?”

Selena let out a languid breath. “I um, kind of forgot about that, too.”

Octavia became silent again.

“Hello?”

Seconds later, the door to Selena’s office opened, and Octavia glided through. She sat down in a visitor’s chair directly in front of Selena, then crossed her legs and folded her arms.

Selena looked over Octavia’s Pam Grier appearance as if seeing her for the first time today.

“Tell me what’s going on and don’t lie.”

Selena relaxed in her chair. “You say that as if I lie to you all the time.”

“No, I say that because you try and hide when something’s bothering you all the time. See the difference there?”

Selena let out a harsh breath and told Octavia the full story of her Valentine’s Day night. The more Selena spoke the more the emotional structure of Octavia’s face changed.

“Oh nooo,” Octavia groaned. “Selena, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

Selena shut her eyes, fighting back emotion that tried to overcome her.

“Unfortunately, no.”

“God, you don’t think Jordan would do that to you. Help me, please, I’m trying to understand.”

“Octavia, my parents have been together for a lifetime. There’s no way my mother thought she would be going through a divorce after fifty-one years of marriage. How is this fair to her? You spend your whole life with someone for them to have eyes for someone else and leave you?”

“Is that what happened?”

Selena hesitated. “I’m not entirely sure.”

At Octavia’s puzzled look, Selena pushed forward.

“Neither of them has actually said this is happening because of this. All I’ve received was an invitation to dinner and oh hey, Selena, we’re getting a divorce!”

Selena tossed up her arms and shook her head.

“You wouldn’t understand. I’m a part of who they are. If they divorce, we divorce, I have to pick sides, and love one more than the other, and oh God, I just can’t believe this is happening,” she said, overwhelmed.

Octavia rushed to her feet and skipped around the desk just as tears brimmed Selena’s eyes. Octavia threw her arms around her friend and held Selena while Selena gave into her mourning.

“I’m not supposed to be feeling this way, am I? I mean, I’m not a child, but I feel so dumbfounded and disheartened. I don’t know what to do.”

“Selena, I’m no therapist, but I highly doubt that it’s abnormal for you to feel a sense of dread. Like you said, you’ve followed their rules, listened to their advice, and considered them your models. With them breaking up surely it would throw your equilibrium off.”

Selena sniffled. “I’m gonna have to see a damn counselor, aren’t I?” She pouted and rolled her eyes.

“You might, baby, but if you do, may I suggest something?”

Selena shrugged.

“Maybe talk to your parents and encourage them to attend with you.”

Selena thinned her lips evenly.

“I can hardly stand my dad now. I don’t know what I’d do if I were around him again. And his introduction to Jordan was hardly the way I wanted them to meet.”

Octavia nodded with a frown and stepped back to perch her butt on Selena’s desk.

“Your father will understand. Baby, Jordan is a Rose, he’s not about to let anything happen to you regardless of who’s doing the pushing.”

Selena smirked. Thinking about Jordan saddened her more. He was only trying to help.

“I think I may have overexaggerated with Jordan.”

Octavia was nodding again.

“I like him a lot.” Selena’s voice quieted. “Love him, really.”

Octavia’s eyes shot up. “You, love him?”

Selena bit down on the corner of her lip and nodded.

“You love Jordan.” Octavia stated for good measure.

“Yes, I do, okay.” Selena huffed. “I’m in love with him, but.”

“Oh no, no, no.” Octavia shook her head. “You don’t get to say but. There is no but. You are making up a but where there is no but to be had.”

Selena rolled her eyes and cocked her head to the side. “There is a but.” She shrugged.

Octavia heaved a dramatic sigh.

“There is!” Selena swore.

“What’s the but, Selena, come on let’s hear it.”

Selena quieted again, and the silence in the room overtook them both. Octavia placed her hands on her round hips, and when she cocked her head to the side, her afro bounced.

“Okay, don’t get all Foxy Brown, on me,” Selena said.

“I’m waiting for this but.”

“But I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’ll leave me later. Forever means just that. No takebacks.”

“Oh, baby,” Octavia gave Selena a neck roll. “But what if the sky falls tomorrow? But what if 45 hits the nuclear button, and we all die? But what if you make the biggest mistake of your life because of a BUT?”

“Now you’re just making me feel silly.”

“Then I’m doing my job.” Octavia stood to her feet. “Remember on Thanksgiving when you knocked on my front door and I was in my pajamas?”

“Here we go,” Selena said.

“Oh yeah, because I’m about to go there.”

Selena folded her fingers and sat them perfectly in her lap as she crossed her legs.

“You dragged me to my bedroom, and made me get ready to see Jonathon even though he hadn’t returned my calls all week. You went so far as to turn on my shower and pull out clothes for me to wear. And I must admit, I was looking and feeling pretty pathetic. But at the end of the day, I was married. Do you know how happy Jonathon and I are now?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” Selena murmured.

“So happy that I try not to miss a night of giving him fellatio.”

Selena gasped, and her eyes popped on a faltering smile.

“Mmhmm.” Octavia nodded. “Dinner is never served without it.” Octavia licked her lips. “It’s the best fellatio I’ve ever given.”

Selena tossed her head back and roared so hard the chair tilted, and she almost toppled over.

“Oh my God! Who are you and what have you done with Octavia!?”

Octavia strolled around the desk with a sway in her hips. “Jonathon turned Octavia out. It’s Mrs. Freak Nasty Rose to you.”

Selena continued to peal over, appreciating every moment of the laugh.

“That just made my whole day. I needed that so bad.” She giggled.

Octavia winked. “I thought you might.”

A heavy knock resounded at Selena’s office door, causing the ladies to become quiet instantly. Octavia peered over at Selena, and Selena shrugged. Octavia took the last few steps to the door and opened it.

“Special delivery,” the young man said.

Selena stood. It was the same young fella from Maggie’s Daley Park with the box of roses. Selena rounded her desk and paced up to him.

“Well, hello again,” she said.

“Madam,” he responded.

“Are you sure you have the right office?”

The young man smiled. “Certain.”

He pulled out a single pink rose and handed it over to Selena.

“Philia,” they both said concurrently. “It’s the friendship rose,” Selena practically whispered.

The young man smiled. “Good memory,” he said.

“There is no way I could forget.”

The young man handed over a small square note.

“Have a great day,” he said, beaming, then turned and disappeared.

Octavia waited for Selena’s explanation and Selena opened the note.

“Let’s not pretend to be just fine. Trust me, Selena, I’m your ally.”

Selena shut her eyes and exhaled, holding the note against her chest. It was a remix of a piece of his poem from The Velvet Café.

“Whatever’s going on seems pretty sentimental. BUT what I want to know is what do you plan to do about it?” Octavia asked.