Parker

Parker was kicking himself for being short with Beth when she offered to help him pack. Why the hell did his ego flare up at the most ridiculous times? Where was it when Beth first started dating Jared? Cowering in the corner, that’s where.

By the time they’d finished eating their tacos and were driving back to campus Parker had managed to smooth things over with Beth. He’d changed the subject to finals and they’d somehow segued their conversation to colleges. It wasn’t Parker’s favorite topic to discuss with Beth, but it was at least better than Jared.

“So everything all set for BC?” Parker asked.

“Yep, I just filled out my roommate application last week. Did you know they actually group all the theater majors together? How cool is that?”

Parker laughed. “Of course they do. Anyone else would smother you in your sleep for singing show tunes all day.”

Beth’s mouth dropped open. “You said you love it when I sing!”

“I’m the exception to the rule.”

She smiled. “True. God, I’m gonna miss you so much, Park! Why do you have to go to stupid Cornell? It’s so far away.”

Parker frowned. “You know why.”

Parker’s parents had met at Cornell and it was his mother’s dream for Parker to go there one day. Unfortunately, Cornell wasn’t where Parker wanted to go. It wasn’t even in his top three—but it’s not like he could deny the wish of his dead mother.

“Seriously? Come on Park, you can’t tell me that your dad will actually force you to go to Cornell if it’s not really what you want. I mean your mom mentioned it a million years ago. Who knows if she’d even still feel the same way?”

“Exactly,” Parker said quietly.

Beth was silent for a moment and Parker looked over to see her chew on her thumbnail. He could tell she was worrying that she’d said the wrong thing. She hadn’t. But that was the problem with bringing up his mother and college. No one would ever know what she would’ve wanted.

Parker sighed. “All I know for sure is it was my mother’s dream for me to go there, and it’s kinda hard to argue with at this point.”

Beth’s voice was soft when she spoke again. “Yeah, but what’s your dream, Parker? What do you really want? That’s what college is all about. It’s time for us to chase our dreams and find out who we truly are.”

If only he could just tell Beth what he really wanted . . . that she was his dream . . . going to school with her, starting a life with her . . . Those were the answers to her questions, but he still couldn’t bring himself to say them out loud. Instead, he smiled and spoke softly. “I envy you, Beth. You’ve always known how to go after your dreams. It’s harder for some of us.”

“Oh my God, are you serious right now? You not only got into Cornell, but Harvard, Brown and Yale. It must be so hard being brilliant and having to choose between so many Ivy Leagues.”

Parker grinned at Beth’s sarcasm. “Point taken. But I’m going to Cornell, so can we just drop it?”

Beth crossed her arms. “I just don’t get why you applied to those other schools if you want to go to Cornell so badly?”

“They were my safety schools.”

“Oh please, you’re graduating top of your class and your parents both went to Cornell. You’re a legacy. Cornell would never snub you. What other excuses you got?”

Parker sighed, knowing Beth was just getting started. She was always passionate when they discussed college. He knew she was just trying to help, but it only made things worse since he couldn’t tell her how he really felt.

Beth seemed to sense his unease and took mercy on him. “Look, I know we’ve had this conversation a million times, but just promise me you’ll think about it, okay? You wouldn’t have applied to those other schools if somewhere deep down you didn’t want to go there.” Beth reached across the center console and took Parker’s hand. “College is a big decision and it should be one you make for yourself.”

“I know, but . . .” Parker’s throat tightened as he tried to say his mother’s name. Even after all this time he still had trouble talking about her.

Beth squeezed his hand. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to. It was one of the many reasons Parker had fallen in love with Beth. She knew how to be there for him. She knew when to talk and when to listen.

Parker didn’t really know how to talk about his emotions when it came to his mother. His father never spoke about her, except to say that she’d wanted him to go to Cornell. Plus, Parker was so young when his mother died that sometimes he couldn’t really remember her. And that feeling of loss made it hurt all over again. But Beth was always there. Just being near her was a comfort to Parker. Since they were four years old, Beth had been by Parker’s side, holding his hand and now his heart. She was his other half. And perhaps that’s what Parker hated more than even Jared, the looming future that threatened to tear apart the steady comfort that Beth brought to Parker’s life.

Jared was just the beginning. Soon college would take Beth away from Parker, and then she’d meet someone else and become their other half forever. The notion made Parker’s eyes burn and he swallowed back the lump in his throat.

Beth’s steady pressure remained on his hand and she spoke in a quite voice. “Your mom would want you to be happy, Parker.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. If that were the case, Parker’s problems would be solved. He knew exactly where he’d go to school. He’d stay in Boston, go to Harvard and never leave Beth’s side.

Beth

Beth continued to glance over at Parker during the lacrosse game. He’d been quiet since their conversation about college. And quiet for Parker always meant there was something wrong. To everyone else it would seem normal. Parker wasn’t a super talkative guy with most people. But Beth wasn’t most people. She knew Parker better than anyone. They’d been best friends since they could walk and if the two of them weren’t bickering or laughing, something was up.

If she was honest with herself, she’d noticed Parker starting to withdraw ever since she started dating Jared. At first she just thought it was that she was splitting her time between her best friend and boyfriend so of course things would be a little different. But that distance she’d started to feel in the beginning now felt like it had grown into the Grand Canyon when she wasn’t looking. How did that happen? How could two people who knew everything about each other suddenly feel like strangers?

But she’d always known it would happen. She knew Parker would eventually meet some girl, that Beth would undoubtedly hate because she wouldn’t be good enough for him—no one ever would. The fact that it hadn’t happened yet was a miracle. But Beth knew it was only a matter of time. Soon it would be college that would take him away.

Parker was a genius. He wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and go to medical school. He’d probably become the world’s youngest brain surgeon or cure cancer or form some incredible program like Doctors Without Borders or something. That’s just how Parker was. He was brilliant and handsome and kind. And it would break Beth’s heart when he left her. But she’d had him all to herself for eighteen years. It was really more than she could’ve asked for.

Beth was relieved when Jared came into her life for many reasons. Besides being her super hot boyfriend, Jared was a good distraction from the crushing pain of what life without her best friend would be like. It was better that Beth start to distance herself from Parker now. It would make it easier in the long run. And she really did like Jared. He was funny and gorgeous and he had that edge of mischief and mystery about him that always made her nervous—but the good kind of nervous.

Jared was hoping to go to college at Syracuse on a lacrosse scholarship. It was only five hours away and Beth was already making plans for how to visit him on long weekends and breaks. Caroline rolled her eyes every time Beth mentioned it. She always said, “You gotta leave high school behind, Beth. That includes your high school boyfriend.”

To an extent, Beth knew Caroline was right. But it was hard. Beth already felt like she was losing so much. Her sisters had all grown up and moved out. And now, in a few short months, Parker and practically everyone she knew from high school would be leaving to go to different colleges. Beth needed something to cling to. And Jared was a pretty fine guy to hold on to. Beth knew it was probably naïve to think that her first love would last. But if she didn’t at least hope it would, then what was the point?