Chapter Nineteen

Nathan

When she left, I knew that I needed to give her time to calm down, so I waited until she had collected her things from the penthouse, and then gathered my stuff. I could tell, as soon as Chris saw how upset I was, he felt awful. I wasn’t going to beat him up, he wasn’t the one who was truly at fault. If I hadn’t lied to her in the first place, none of it would be an issue. Chris had the plane chartered and ready to go by the time we got there, and we took off within minutes. I knew I would have about an hour on her, even though we had to stop before leaving and finish fueling. Either way, I figured I would get to her house around the same time she did. I knew she didn’t want to talk to me, but I was panicking. I couldn’t let Ruby go, especially not over something like that.

I spent the entire plane ride staring out the window, watching the day turn into night, and back into day. My head was spinning through everything I wanted to say to Ruby, concocting the perfect speech, and knowing how I needed to handle it. All the preparation in the world was not going to help me get through the wall I instantly saw come up when she realized why we were in India in the first place. It was a bit of a surprise to me that she acted so passionately, but that was Ruby, a passionate woman that stood up for what she believed up no matter who she was facing.

When we landed, I jumped in the car and headed straight over to Ruby’s house. That was where I was standing at that moment, in her doorway, staring at her as she stared back at me. She looked utterly distraught, totally heartbroken, and pissed as hell. I guess the nineteen-hour trip back wasn’t as calming as I hoped it would be. I suppose if I had to spend that much time on a commercial flight in coach I’d probably be agitated too. I needed to start talking, and hope that she listened to what I had to say.

I stepped forward into the house and closed the door behind me. I looked at Ruby standing there in the hall, and I just wanted to put my arms around her. However, with the look on her face, I had stepped as far as I was going to get into the house.

“Ruby,” I said putting my hands up. “I want to explain. Let me explain.”

“Fine,” she said crossing her arms. “Talk.”

“When I created Pope Financials I had a vision,” I began. “I wanted a financial institution that people could trust. I wanted a company that would help boost the economy. I wanted to run it like I wanted to run it, and I never wanted to be part of corporate America. When the company exploded on the market, I had no choice but to open a little to the idea of corporate mindset, but I fought it every step of the way. I want to expand, to take my services to other countries, but it is extremely expensive. Chris has been pushing the idea of outsourcing on me for months, and I have pushed it off repeatedly. Finally, when he came to me with the idea of me seeing the factories for myself, I agreed, knowing that at least when I turned him down, he knew I made the decision based on facts and reality not only my own thoughts and feelings. So, before the tour was even over I had already decided that outsourcing was not going to work for Pope, even if that meant expanding wasn’t possible for a long time.”

“I don’t understand why you would even consider it,” she said.

“I didn’t,” I replied. “But as the CEO of the company I had the duty to look at the information I was given and make an informed decision. I wanted to say no from the beginning, but I needed to have a backup and reasoning as to why I was saying no. I had to play politics with my shareholders so I could get what I wanted without looking dismissive or flighty. On top of all of that, I had no idea you were this passionate about the subject. I would have never taken you there if I had known. I am not interested in outsourcing, and I would never make a choice that would force me to give up my relationship with you. Money is not worth sacrificing happiness.”

“Money is what makes the world go around,” she said shaking her head. “I just don’t know how I am supposed to believe you. I feel like I don’t know who you are. I have seen this Nathan that no one else seems to have ever experienced and now with this, it makes me feel like no one has experienced him because it’s not the real you after all. I feel like I got played hardcore and I can’t figure out why. I can’t do anything for you that you can’t do yourself. I don’t understand Nathan, please help me understand.”

I stood there for a moment thinking about the right thing to say, knowing in the back of my mind what needed to be revealed. I was nervous, not just about losing Ruby, but being hurt so bad that I went back into my recluse stage, never letting anyone in, and turning my life into nothing but work. I wanted so bad to fix this, but I knew I had to make the right choice in what I was about to say. She deserved for me to be open and honest with her, not shielded by my own fear. I took in a deep breath and stepped forward.

“No one else has seen me this way for a reason,” I said.

“Yeah? And what reason would that be?”

“I love you, Ruby,” I said.

She stood there staring at me, her arms loosening and falling to her side. I could see her anger begin to melt away, but she also was watching my face, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. It was the first time I had ever told her I loved her. I knew for a couple weeks those feelings were there, but I was scared to admit them out loud. I was afraid if I said them to her, everything would change. I was scared she didn’t feel the same way, and the last thing I wanted was to scare her away before she had the chance to feel the same way about me. However, the moment she ran off, leaving me in India with Chris, I knew I had to suck up that fear and tell her how I felt. I knew that if I didn’t, if I held it in and never said it, and she decided not to see me anymore, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

“Ruby, I’ve been in love with you for a while,” I said. “You’ve made me a better man, a more open man, a man that wants to see the sunshine now and not just be locked away in the top floor of my office. I want to travel and see the world, and I want to do it all by your side. I messed up, and I didn’t tell you about the outsourcing thing because I think in the back of my mind I knew you would be upset and that terrified me. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you that I wasn’t interested and was doing it for show, but I didn’t, and I can’t take that back. The man you know is the real me, not some made up person for you. The main point to all of this is I love you a thousand times, I love you.”

She stood there with her head tilted to the side for several moments before she began to walk toward me. She stood close to my body staring deep into my eyes, tears collecting in the corners of hers and slowly trickling down her cheeks. My heart was racing, wondering what she was thinking, what she was feeling, but all I could do was stand there and wait. It felt like an eternity, a million hours of just standing and waiting for someone else to decide my fate. She cleared her throat as her face softened and she reached out, grabbing my hand.

“I love you too, Nathan,” she said.

I waited for the “but,” and it never came. Ruby leaned in and pressed her lips firmly against mine, and I smiled, feeling how much she meant it. This was the love of my life, I already knew it.