Chapter Eighteen

Ruby

I wasted no time heading straight to the hotel and grabbing my luggage. I didn’t want Nathan to track me easily so I told the driver I would take a cab from the hotel. I went to the penthouse and gathered all my things, piling them into my suitcase. I knew that I should be hurt but all I could feel at that moment was anger and I needed to go home. I couldn’t believe I thought he was an ethical corporate owner. I guess I was too blind from caring for him so much and I missed the signs. I knew he didn’t know about my involvement with the protests, but he had to know I would not be okay with outsourcing at all. It didn’t take much to read who I was.

When my bags were packed, I jumped into a cab and took it to the airport. I stood at the counter for a while, but they were finally able to book me on a flight back home. It didn’t leave for an hour, so I made it through customs and grabbed a cup of coffee from the Starbucks on site. I found my gate and sat down in a chair, staring out the large floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the runway. Planes were arriving and others taking off. I pulled out my phone and dialed my sister’s number, needing someone’s guidance, or at least an ear to talk to. It would be expensive, but I felt so alone and upset.

“Hello?”

“Hey sis,” I said with a sigh.

“Hey! How is India?”

“Terrible,” I said. “I am at the airport waiting for my flight.”

“Wait, what? I thought you flew in a private jet,” she said confused.

“I did, but I left Nathan, and I want to get home,” I replied, a lump forming in my throat.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” she said. “What happened?”

“Everything was perfect, and then he had a work thing he took me to,” I explained. “It was this building where the people out here work. It was an outsourcing building with the nets and everything on the outside.”

“Oh, God,” she said.

“He never told me anything about this,” I said. “He knew how passionate I was for people and not only did he show me he never cared about the morality of his company, he brought me halfway around the world to shove my nose in it.”

“Ruby,” she said calmly. “I don’t think he meant to hurt you.”

“Well, he did,” I said.

“Look, I have never heard you talk about a man like you do Nathan,” she said. “You can’t end this over something like outsourcing. You may never find another man you feel that way for.”

“Then I’ll die alone an old spinster,” I said. “I am not going to budge on how I feel about this issue.”

“I think you are making a mistake,” she sighed. “But I love you, and I support whatever decision you make.”

“Thank you,” I said breathing deeply. “My flights about to board. I’ll call you when I get back.”

“Okay, be safe,” she said before hanging up.

I waited in line to get on the plane, drying my tears and sucking it up. I needed to hold it together, even though it was a shock I did not see coming at all. I still could not understand how a man like Nathan could consider implementing something like that. I boarded and stowed my carry on, taking my window seat. I buckled my seatbelt and waited for takeoff, staring out the window at the passing planes. I wanted this whole thing to be over with.

After the plane took off I pulled my bag out from under my seat and rifled through it, finding my sleeping pills I had brought just in case. I took two of them and waited, knowing it would be a good hour before they kicked in. The flight attendant offered me a drink, noticing how upset I was, but I declined gracefully, knowing alcohol wasn’t going to help me at all in my situation. I pressed my forehead against the window, watching the clouds pass by as the plane headed back home. That had been the worst and shortest vacation I had ever taken, and I was starting to regret everything I had said and done. After a while, my eyes began to get heavy, and I drifted off to sleep, hoping that I would get through the flight without breaking down in tears.

When I woke up, the sun was shining directly in my eyes, and I realized I had been asleep for over half of the flight. Good thing, since when I woke up my heart was aching, and I didn’t feel better in the least. I ate the airplane food and put my headphones in, staring blankly at the movies that streamed across the screen overhead. I started to feel numb, and I was okay with that. I had never had a broken heart before, and I already could tell that it was going to suck.

By the time we landed back in New York, I was ready to get home to my house, take a shower, and turn on the television in my bed. I was hoping I could sleep the weekend away, not wanting to feel what I knew was coming. The airport was busy as usual, and it took me a while to retrieve my luggage, get through customs and immigration, and find a cab. It was raining in New York which fit my mood perfectly. The cabbie asked if he could help me inside but I smiled as best I could and thanked him, carrying my own bags up the steps. I opened the front door and walked inside, holding my bags in my hands and looking around the silent house. I stood there for several moments, not wanting to feel anything. I couldn’t believe I had let myself fall for him without finding out the true Nathan hiding deep inside.

The house was empty, and I could feel it echoing through my chest. I took two steps forward and stopped, hearing a knock on the door behind me. I sighed and set my bags down, hoping it wasn’t the cab driver still wanting to be helpful. I walked over and flung the door open my face ready to burst into tears any second. I started at his feet and looked slowly up the designer pants and perfectly pressed button-down shirt. Standing in my doorway with a look of need was Nathan, and I didn’t know how to compute that in my brain.

I had taken longer to get back because I took a commercial flight, and he must have gone straight to the jet and come home. I glanced behind him at the car sitting out front and wondered how long he had been waiting there. I looked back in his face and didn’t know what to say, there were no words. Yes, I was angry at him for considering outsourcing, but I was even more upset that he hadn’t been truthful to me about what his vision for the future of his company was. I held my beliefs and morals in very high regard, and though many people would say that was stupid, or that I was going to miss out on things for taking them so seriously, my feelings on how people are treated are the basis of who I was. By then, Nathan was sure to have known that.

Everything I had done in my life was centered around helping others whether it was through direct contact or holding a sign and marching down the street. I didn’t work for corporate America, so no I wasn’t going to lose my job to outsourcing, but I was going to be affected by the economic effect it had. I would be affected by the people that lived in poverty around me, and I would be affected by the fact that my life was controlled by some greedy man in a big office somewhere. I had thought Nathan was different. I thought he was a man that I could look to and be proud to have at my side. How was I so desperately wrong about everything?

I stood there in the hallway, tears welling up in my eyes, staring at him standing in the doorway. I couldn’t move or speak and had no idea how I was supposed to even hear what he had to say. I had protected myself for so long, and in the blink of an eye, I screwed it all up by falling in love with someone that I didn’t even feel like I knew anymore. I didn’t know what to do.