ANDERS

Fear had taken hold of me when I woke up and couldn’t see Gwen. What if someone had hurt her? Every terrible thing the pirates might have done flashed through my mind in an instant.

When she appeared before me, the feeling of relief made my head spin. I had to touch her. I had to make sure nothing had happened to her.

Seeing Allex had been okay, I guess.

I leaned back against Gwen, sliding down so I could rest my head on her shoulder. She rested against the wall. She seemed content with the position of our bodies, and I was too. It felt nice to touch her again. My anger had disappeared for the moment. I was just happy to be alive.

I looked around the room. Allex and I had hidden there more times than I could count. It had seemed a lot bigger before. The room was stuffy as if it hadn’t been aired out in a while. There were a few things scattered around that suggested someone had been living there.

“What happened to me?”

“You got taken down by a girl. This is Priya. She’s a stowaway.”

The look on Allex’s face was defiant. I wondered if he thought I would be upset. I eyed the two of them. They seemed attached to each other. My curiosity spiked, but I knew I would never get Allex to tell me anything until he was ready. If he wanted to give me any information about Priya, he would volunteer it. Until then, it would be like trying to get water from a stone.

“Nice to meet you, Priya. Thanks for not killing me.”

“I’m sorry about that,” she muttered, avoiding my eye. “I thought you were a pirate.”

“It was an accident. Now it’s time to get to work. People are depending on us.”

* * *

After we explained our plan to Allex and Priya, we crept silently through the tunnels. When Allex came to a junction of three passages, he stopped and turned to Priya.

I whispered to Gwen. “Do you remember the way?” I never wanted to forget the way her face looked in the dim light.

She recited the directions and gave me a tight smile. “Everything will be fine. And if it’s not, we’ll never know the difference.”

I nodded. I wanted to throw myself into Gwen’s arms and kiss her until I forgot my own name. I didn’t want to send her off into danger. And I wanted her to love me. I was about to step back just as she moved toward me, wrapping her hand around my head and pulling me down to her face. Her lips met mine in a hot, passionate kiss that made my heart pound like a drum in my chest. She pulled away too soon.

“For luck.” She quickly looked away from me.

Allex cleared his throat. “We should go, Anders. You two, take care.”

Gwen and Priya nodded and went down the right-hand tunnel. They would explain the situation to the women and move them into the fifth wing. Allex and I were going to get the men and bring them all to the flying area, which, in a happy coincidence, was also in the fifth wing.

If people from Auxem didn’t fly every few days — or at least take their wings out and move them — we could get infections. Allex had some first hand experience with that. It was the most gruesome thing I had ever seen, and I never wanted to experience it again. As a result, Allex had an aversion to taking out his wings. It was more painful for him than before, almost like he went through adolescence all over again every time.

He had suggested separating the men and women in case anyone needed to fly. It was a good idea, except I didn’t want to be apart from Gwen. She wasn’t exactly my woman, but from the way he and Priya looked at each other, I had a feeling she was his.

We rushed down the tunnel. We had a lot of ground to cover.

“Well, that was something, wasn’t it? Have you been holding out on me?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.” I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Tell me about that kiss.”

I shrugged.

“Anders.” When we were younger, he used to beg me for information. The only thing that had changed was the timbre of his voice.

“I don’t know why she did that. I’ve been into her since we met, and she just wants to be friends with me.”

“That kiss didn’t seem friendly to me.”

“We fooled around a little bit, but it’s all over now. I’m going to ask for a new partner. Anyway, that’s more than enough about me. You knew my partner was a woman. I didn’t know Priya existed before today.” I wanted to turn the attention away from me and my broken heart.

He looked at me warily.

“What am I going to do, tattle on you? You can trust me. Are you together?”

He stopped walking and turned toward me. “In a sense. But you can’t tell anyone, Anders. She tested positive for the gene.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. Priya couldn’t be part of the trial, and she couldn’t stay on Earth. She had to get off the planet. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“About her being a stowaway or that she has the gene?”

“Both.”

“How can you be with someone if she hides all the time and you can’t tell anyone about her? It doesn’t sound like much of a relationship to me.”

His shoulders sagged. “I don’t know, Anders.” His face was so bleak it took me by surprise. Allex was hurting too. He cared about this woman, but he couldn’t be with her either.

“We’re a pair of losers.” He gave me a rueful smile.

“All we have to do is survive. Then we get to sort out our girl problems.” He turned to walk forward again.

“Maybe you can,” I muttered. There was no sorting out the fact that Gwen didn’t love me.

* * *

GWEN

Walking away from Anders right then was the hardest thing I had ever done. I kept looking back over my shoulder until he and Allex disappeared into the dim light of the tunnel. I had a terrible feeling it might be the last time I ever saw him.

Having the thought was like getting punched in the stomach. I tried to calm myself down. I was being silly. Of course I would see Anders again. Everything would go back to the way it had been.

Maybe not exactly the way it had been. But things would be good again.

The skeptical part of my brain was whispering that wouldn’t be possible unless Anders and I were friends.

“You’re pretty hung up on him, huh?” Priya was small and curvy, with round hips and full breasts that narrowed to a tiny waist. Her hair was long and black, and although it was neatly braided back, it seemed like she hadn’t shampooed it properly in a long time.

Her clothes were shabby and dirty. But if she had been hiding here since we left Earth, it had been months since her last regular shower. When she looked at me, her black eyes seemed to be full of secrets. She had a dark, mysterious beauty and I wondered what sort of life on Earth had made concealing herself on a starship seem like a good idea.

Stowaways could be charged under galactic law. The punishments were severe. Priya might be locked up or forced to pay a sum of money so large she would be in debt for the rest of her life. She couldn’t have made the decision lightly. Whatever she had left behind was worse. I was interested in learning more about her, if I got the chance.

I looked back over my shoulder one more time. Anders and Allex had disappeared into the gloom.

“Me?” I asked. “Hung up on Anders?”

“You like him.”

“We were friends with benefits until recently.”

She made an impatient gesture with her hand, moving down the tunnel. “Not sex. You’re into him. Emotionally.”

“Nope. That’s why we’re not friends anymore. He told me he loved me.”

She stopped walking and looked back at me. “Then what happened?”

“I told him the truth. I said I don’t love him.”

“You don’t love that guy?” She pointed back into the tunnel, her face the picture of skepticism.

“Of course not. I think I would know.”

“You’re lying, both to him and to yourself.”

“What makes you think I love him?”

“You guys were so wrapped up in each other you didn’t even notice Allex and I were there.” She made another impatient gesture and made a wrong turn into the left-hand fork.

“That’s not the right way. Follow me.”

“And what was up with that kiss? That didn’t look like something two friends would do.”

I stared down at my boots, trying to step quietly on the metal grating. I didn’t know if there was an explanation that would make sense to me, never mind Priya. “It was just something I had to do. I wasn’t sure I would see him again.”

“That’s an understatement. According to Jassan, those trigger-happy pirates have already killed someone and injured three more. How did you guys meet, anyway?”

“I got hired to work on this ship as a pilot. Anders is my partner. This is probably too much information, but my husband cheated on me and went back to Earth.”

“So you fell in love with Anders because he was available and the only other guy around?”

“No. I didn’t tell him what happened.”

“Because you were afraid of changing your relationship and recognizing your feelings for him?”

“Maybe. When the pirates attacked, we left together to get help. We ended up sleeping together.”

She stopped and looked at me. “You fucked him?”

“Almost. Everything except that.”

She nodded. “Good.”

“Why does it matter?”

“You shouldn’t consider a bond if you aren’t sure about your feelings.”

“What would you know about it? You’re human, just like me.”

“We’re talking about you right now, and how you’re lying to yourself about your feelings for Anders.”

I noticed that she evaded my question, but I didn’t pursue it. “Anders told me that he loved me. I didn’t say anything back, and he’s been ignoring me ever since.” I heard the pain in my voice. “I don’t think he wants to be my partner. I shouldn’t have let this ruin our friendship.”

Priya shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It would have happened at some point, whether you slept together or not. I hope it was good.”

“It was good, but it wasn’t enough.”

Priya looked like she knew what I meant. “Are you going to be okay if you never see him again?”

“No.” My voice broke. I couldn’t help it. Anders was my best friend, and I needed him.

“Why not?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Here, I’ll help you. It’s because you love him.” The way she said it made me feel stupid for denying it.

“I love him as a friend.”

“Of course you do. That’s the basis of all romantic love. But there’s more to it than that. I don’t know either of you, but I can see it clear as day. Why can’t you?”

Because it wasn’t true. Although the thought of Anders vanishing from my life made my heart ache in a way that didn’t feel anything like losing a friend.

“This is the last turn.” I took the tunnel to the right. “Let’s get the women to safety and transport the invaders off the ship.”