forty-four

Dante

At ten past five, I leave my office and take the elevator to the ground floor lobby. Tessa is waiting for me, but she’s chatting with someone, and she hasn’t spotted me yet.

I slow my pace and scan the length of her body. She’s wearing a gold shirt that dips in front, showing off her perfect tits, jeans that hug the curve of her ass, and shoes that look like they’re meant for a ballerina. She has no idea what she does to me. How much I want to bury myself inside her for days.

When Tessa notices me, she says good-bye to the woman she was speaking with and starts in my direction with a sincere smile on her face.

“Hi,” she says, giving me a hug.

“How was your afternoon?” I hug her back.

“Better than this morning. What about yours?”

“Same.” I laugh.

“I thought we’d stroll through Grant Park and then grab dinner.”

“Sounds good. After you.” I place a hand on the small of her back as we exit the building.

People litter the sidewalk, and walking next to Tessa is difficult until the crowd thins out a bit after several blocks.

Once speaking becomes easier, I start talking. “I was worried about you earlier.”

She peers up at me. “I really lost my shit for a few minutes.”

“You seem to have recovered, but maybe I should keep sharp objects out of your reach, just in case.” I nudge her with my shoulder.

“Very funny.”

“I thought so,” I tease her.

We stroll through the park that is scattered with joggers and people stretched out on yoga mats. I glance at Tessa and can tell by the look on her face that she’s struggling with how to tell me whatever it is she needs to say, but I want to give her time to work through it.

“Dante,” she says after a few minutes.

I know by the way she says my name that I’m not going to like whatever comes out of her mouth next.

“Mmhmm?”

“I’m leaving.”

I knew it was coming, but the impact of her words strikes me with the force of a blow. “I figured.”

“You did?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. Tess, I know you. Sometimes, I think you forget that.” I pause a beat before asking, “When?”

“Tomorrow.”

Her word shocks me, and I stop walking. “That soon? How long are you going to be gone?”

“I don’t know. A few weeks…maybe a few months.”

My jaw tenses. “Months?” I practically growl.

“Let’s sit.” Tessa walks over to a grassy patch, plops her ass down, and plucks a blade of grass. She begins rolling it between her fingers.

Begrudgingly, I sit beside her and wait for her to speak.

“I’m exhausted, Dante, to the depths of my soul. I’ve been on the frontlines of an emotional battlefield for months, and you’ve been there every step of the way, but I need to do this on my own. I have to allow myself time to decompress, and I can’t move on unless I do.”

“Are you going off the grid?”

“I’m going to travel a bit, and I’ll check in. I’m not going to disappear.”

“Are you coming back?” I try to keep the pain from my voice but fail as I stare into the distance.

“Eventually.”

Her honesty makes me wince.

“I’m not going to lie to you. The idea of you leaving guts me, but I know it’s what you need to do.” I look at her. “I meant it…when I told you that I loved you. I have never been in love with anyone but you.”

“Dante, I don’t know when I’m coming back. I don’t expect you to wait for me…” After a pregnant pause, she says, “But I hope you will.”

I lean closer and grasp her chin between my thumb and index finger, angling her face. “Look at me.”

Her eyes settle on mine.

“I love you. That hasn’t changed. It’s not going to change. You’re it for me, and I will wait for as long as it takes. I know the taste of your skin and what it feels like when I’m buried inside you. You’re engraved on my fucking soul, and even if you don’t feel the same way…there won’t be anyone else, Tessa. Not for me. Not now. Not ever.”

Her eyes become glassy. She lays her head on my shoulder and hides her face in the crook of my neck. “Do you have any idea how incredible you are?”

“I do, but feel free to inflate my ego.”

She chuckles, playfully nudging me.

“I’m going to miss you like crazy.” I lean in to kiss her temple. “I’m proud of you.”

“Why?”

“You are the strongest woman I know. Do you have any idea how many nights I thought you might give up? That I would find you…bleeding out on the bathroom floor.” The idea of living in a world where she doesn’t exist is more than I can bear. “You kept fighting. Kept surviving. You used your emotions as a catalyst. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“I haven’t felt very strong, but I appreciate you saying that.”

The world moves on around us, and we do our best to ignore it until Tessa’s stomach growls.

I laugh. “Ready for dinner?”

“I guess so.”

I stand, holding my hand out to help her off the ground. “What are you in the mood for?”

“It doesn’t matter. How about we walk until we find something that looks good?”

I gasp. “Are you being spontaneous?”

“Shut up.” She starts laughing, and I swear, it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard.

Her steps halt as we near Buckingham Fountain, and the major display begins. We tilt our heads skyward, watching the water shoot up in the air. She lets out a sigh, and we start walking again.

“What time do you leave tomorrow?”

She wraps her hand around my biceps as we maneuver our way out of the park. “I have to be at the airport by ten.”

“Do you want a ride to the airport?”

“Don’t you have to work?”

“I own the company.” Before Tessa agrees, I already have my phone out to type a quick email to Katie, letting her know I’ll be in late.

“In that case, I’d love one.”

Tessa and I stroll through the sidewalks, holding hands. The crowd hasn’t thinned out much, but I don’t give a shit. People can walk around us.

For dinner, we end up sharing two Chicago staples—pizza and Italian beef sandwiches.

After dinner, we go back to S&S to pick up her car. She gives me the keys and I drive the short distance to my place. When we get there, I change into a T-shirt and athletic shorts, and we curl up on the couch to watch a movie, just like old times.

She’s nuzzled against my arm, still awake, when the credits start to roll. I’m not ready for her to leave.

“Stay.”

“Okay.”

I chuckle. “That didn’t take much convincing.”

“I was hoping you would ask me to.”

Her admission brings me a measure of comfort.

“I’m going to miss you. Where are you going anyway? You never said.”

She lifts her head to look at me. “I’m flying into San Francisco, and then I’ll rent a car to drive to Napa. I’ll be there for five days or so, and then I’ll decide what’s next.”

“Promise me, you’ll be careful.”

“Promise.” She stifles a yawn.

“Ready for bed?”

“Yeah, but if it’s all right, I’m going to shower first.”

“I’ll grab you something to sleep in,” I say. Then, I add, “By the way, you still have some clothes here. Unless you need me to get your bag from the car.”

“I’m sure whatever is here is fine.” She stands.

I follow her to my bedroom and find her something to sleep in.

I wait for her to walk into the bathroom before I go to the kitchen and pour two fingers of whiskey into a tumbler.

When Tessa leaves, she’ll be taking my heart with her. I’ve waited this long, and unlike last time, I’m not going to chase her. When she’s ready, she’ll come back to me, and I hope to hell it’s sooner rather than later. I drain the liquid from the glass and set it in the sink. Then, I return to my room.

She walks out of my bathroom with her hair damp from her solo shower, wearing one of my shirts and a pair of boxer shorts she had to roll down several times to keep them from falling off. I just want to hold her. Wrap my arms around her and grasp her so fucking tight, I’ll be able to memorize the curve of her body pressed hard to mine.

I yank back the covers, and we both get into bed, lying down and facing each other.

“I’m going to miss you,” she says quietly.

Selfish asshole that I am…I want to beg her not to go. Reassure her that she can find herself here as well as she could anywhere else, but that’s not true. Tessa needs distance from this city and all the memories of her former life. Maybe, when she comes back, she’ll make new ones with me.

I trace my finger down her cheek. “I’ll miss you, too.”

She suppresses a yawn, and her heavy lids flutter.

“Roll over. I need to hold you.”

Her smile is sleepy as she leans up, pecks my lips, and rolls over. My arm glides over her hip, and I tug her into me, splaying my hand over her stomach. In no time at all, Tessa drifts off to sleep while I lie awake. I plant a kiss to the back of her head, feeling the coolness of her hair on my lips. She smells like honey and almonds…and Tessa. I inhale deeply, wishing there were a way to bottle her scent. Then, I remember her body wash is in my shower, and I can’t help but smile at that.

My eyes drift shut, and the sound of Tessa’s even breaths lull me to sleep.