Chapter Fifteen
Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.
~ Hugh Prather
Natalie’s prison cell changed, but not her routine. Dexter’s suite was now where she lived. Since the outer sitting room required clothes, he had an entire wardrobe delivered. It seemed unnecessary. There were more clothes than she’d wear in a semester—when she used to go to classes, events, and parties. There were sweaters, coats, and boots, yet she hadn’t been outside since she arrived. Her world was limited to Dexter and the occasional staff member. The latter was the reason for clothes.
Dexter no longer delivered her meals, though he was usually present when they arrived. There were multiple household staff who came and went, all speaking German. They always spoke respectfully, addressing her as Frau Natalie. As Dexter’s queen, she was the woman of the house. If they questioned why she rarely left the suite, she wasn’t aware of it. Though over time she learned a few words, to explain how she’d come to live in this exquisite villa high in the mountains in Austria was impossible. She couldn’t even come up with that story in English.
Behind the second door, in the room with the large bed, Dexter’s shirts were all she was allowed to wear. The wardrobe he’d purchased included lingerie in all colors, textures, and lengths. Those were only worn upon request and usually meant the night would involve very little sleep. Truthfully, Nat didn’t mind; it changed up her routine. And no matter how Dexter would elicit her tears, pleasure was always within reach.
There was another room attached to the master suite that contained exercise equipment. Instead of jogging in place, she now had a treadmill and weight machines. There was always something to keep her busy and her mind focused on him. That didn’t mean she didn’t think about the life she once had—about her family. She did. There’d been times she hadn’t loved her life as the Rawlings princess, but now that it was gone, she had mixed feelings.
Though her calendar was still her menstruation chart, she knew she’d missed so much. December was more than Christmas in the Rawlings household. Their holiday would have included celebrating Nichol’s birthday and her parent’s celebration of their first wedding, as well as Christmas. February was both her father’s and brother’s birthdays. Her mom liked to plan something special. If her family had celebrated, Natalie missed it.
According to Nat’s speculations, spring was near. Their altitude wouldn’t allow for the greens of Iowa. Snow still covered the grounds. From the windows of the suite, no other homes could be seen. She literally believed at times she was confined to the snow globe of her first impression.
The suite she shared with Dexter had walls of shelves filled with books, the old kind with paper and spines. It was more than she’d had in what she referred to as her room. Though there was nothing to connect her to life beyond her snow globe, the books became her salvation. After breakfast, exercise, lunch, Dexter-time, and bath, which now often happened with Dexter in a spacious glass shower, Natalie had some time in the afternoon and evenings to herself. Those were the occasions where she’d disappear into the pages of fiction. It was a better alternative than remembering those she’d left behind.
With time, Nat was allowed to join Dexter in other areas of the house. If the staff were present, it was another reason to wear clothes. However, she was never alone. Those outings always included him. She still didn’t know what he did for a living, but on the first floor, he had a large office with many computer screens. It was something about stocks, margins, options…she should have paid better attention to her classes at Harvard.
It was late one night as they lay together in bed that Dexter’s words smashed Nat’s snow globe and glass shards littered her world. “We’ve been gone for months. I need to be back in the United States.”
Her heart raced. “Are you going to leave me here alone?”
He pulled her warm, naked body closer until her head rested upon his shoulder. “No, bug. I’m never leaving you, remember? But we’ll need to fly.”
She lifted her head. “Please, Dexter. No cocktail.”
His eyes closed as he exhaled. “I remember you saying you didn’t want it. I’m conflicted. I have it ready for you. I don’t know…you haven’t shown me that you’ll behave and not leave me, given the chance.”
“I won’t,” she answered quickly.
“Oh, bug. I believe you mean that now, but it’ll be different when given the opportunity. In the States, communication will be easy. You could even be recognized.”
Recognized? Would she be? Now that she lived in a suite with mirrors, she wondered if she looked the same as she had. Her reflection somehow seemed different. She wasn’t the same girl who’d boarded the plane in Boston.
Besides, what did the world know? Would she want people to know who she’d become, that she enjoyed the way Dexter treated her…even when she didn’t? That by making himself her entire world, he’d given her new purpose and a sense of being loved, not as a child or sibling, but as a woman?
Natalie shook her head. “Please, Dexter. I don’t want to feel the way that cocktail made me feel. I don’t like being out of control.”
“You have no control.”
It was a simple statement, yet accurate. She nodded. “I’d rather give it to you willingly than unconsciously.”
“I know. But remember, you have to trust me.”
“I do. I trust you. I also remember that I’m your queen. What we do behind closed doors is our business, no one else’s.” Her heart ached, but the words were true. “I’d never want others to know that Natalie Rawlings kneels for hours or welcomes your punishment, that what you do to me makes me wet and wanting. It’s true, you know it is. I’ll continue to do it—for you and for me—but it’s no one else’s business.”
“What about your family’s? What’s their business?”
Natalie sat up, suddenly chilled as her old and new life collided.
Dexter followed her up and again wrapped her in his embrace. Tears she didn’t expect cascaded down her cheeks.
“Shhh,” he soothed. “Nat, it’s something we both have to address if we’re back in the States.”
“What can I even say to them? I disappeared.” She hiccupped. “I moved on.”
“You didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you to trust me. I wanted you. Now you’re mine. I told you in the very beginning that I wasn’t trying to remove you from your family or the other way around. We just needed time alone before we added them to the mix.”
Natalie’s skin prickled as a myriad of emotions flooded her system.
Dexter eased from the bed. “Don’t leave the bed, bug. I’ll show you something that’ll help you understand.”
Nearly an hour later, Natalie looked up from the tablet, her eyes red and swollen. From what she’d read, she hadn’t missed a thing. On every milestone, holiday, and birthday Natalie had communicated with her family. She’d sent pictures of landmarks with long-winded emails explaining her need to find herself after the debacle that was her college experience.
There were responses from both her father and mother. Though at first their words reflected their disappointment, with time, they both forgave, claiming they wanted nothing more than her return. Even her siblings corresponded. Not surprisingly, Nichol was more critical; however, like their parents, they both wanted her return.
“Why?” It was the only question she could form.
“For you. For them.”
She scrolled. The emails dated back to the day after her flight.
“This wasn’t for me…” Her volume rose. “…or them. It was for you!”
Dexter’s eyes darkened.
“You did it so they wouldn’t look for me.” She met his gaze, knowing that she should apologize for raising her voice, but she couldn’t. His actions may have saved her relationship with her family, but they also stopped the worldwide search she’d at one time prayed for.
Her shoulders straightened as she braced for his retaliation.
What would be the price for her outburst?
“Yes,” he said calmly. “It was for me, to give us time. It was also for you.” When she didn’t respond, he stood. “Nat.” He pointed to the floor.
Setting the tablet on the bed, her heart rate accelerated. Despite the fact they’d made love only an hour ago, her core dampened as she slid to the floor and knelt at Dexter’s feet.
“Tell me what should happen, what your outburst should cost.”
Her pussy clenched and breasts throbbed. This shouldn’t bring her body to life. His threatening tone shouldn’t make her as excited as she was frightened, but it did.
Natalie leaned forward until her face was near the floor and kissed the tops of his feet. Sitting back up, she replied, “I’ll take your punishment, my king. I was wrong. I should thank you for what you did. I guess it scares me. I want to see them. I miss them, but I don’t want to lose you.”
He reached for her shoulders and lifted her to standing. “You won’t lose me. I won’t lose you.” He lifted her chin. “Your family will see you for the queen you’ve become, not the spoiled princess you once were. While you were away from them, you received a tremendous gift. You went without to learn to appreciate. What do you say?”
“Thank you, Dexter, for my gift.”
“Now, turn around, bug. Hands on the bed, feet apart. My belt will remind you who you’re talking to and that outbursts are unacceptable.”
Her core clenched as she obeyed. Biting her lip to keep her smile at bay, she turned her face back over her shoulder until their gazes met. With veiled eyes, she asked, “Not your hand?”
Dexter ran his hand over her ass, dipping his fingers between her wet folds. “No, my queen. You like my hand on your ass too much. This needs to teach you a lesson.”