Chapter Sixteen
The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
~ Brian Tracy
Natalie’s heart raced as Dexter pulled the silver Jaguar XF through the iron gates of the Rawlings estate. They were both dressed for the occasion. It seemed odd to be so formal. Natalie had gone months without clothes; to be wearing a long gown, heels, and makeup with her hair styled added to her unease. She did find comfort in how handsome Dexter was in his tuxedo. This wasn’t a large gathering. There would only be the four of them, but it was the Rawlings estate.
Dexter’s deep-ocean hued stare served as her reminder. She’d done as he said and avoided the cocktail on their transatlantic flight. This trip, however, was on a private plane, the way he usually traveled. Still there were attendants and TSA. Truthfully, it hadn’t been difficult to play the role of his queen—it wasn’t a role. He was her fiancé and she now had the real ring to prove it. He was also much more: her king, tormentor, and savior.
Dexter Smithers was her everything. She was his. It was the way they both wanted it to be.
The last few weeks had been spent adjusting to his estate in Vermont. Like the home in Austria, it was secluded and luxurious. While her freedoms grew, she found comfort and sanctuary in their private space and his approval. Their home was similar to the world in which she’d been raised to live, but now she’d learned to appreciate it as the queen.
The queen who bowed only to her king.
His hand reached across the console and squeezed hers. “You’ve done well on the telephone calls. It’s time to face them.” Every call, every word, had been said in Dexter’s presence. The first time she heard her mother’s voice was the hardest. Natalie’s stomach pinched, knowing that in a few moments she’d see her.
The large white house appeared as the trees parted. It was beautiful and stately, the house her father had built for his queen. It was where her childhood was spent, but it was no longer her home. That was in Vermont.
Dexter and Natalie walked hand in hand up the front stairs. When the front door opened, Nat expected to see the familiar face of one of the staff. She didn’t.
“Natalie!” Claire called as she raced forward and wrapped her daughter in her arms. When her mother finally pulled back, her emerald-green eyes were full of tears. To Natalie, her mother never aged, as beautiful today as the pictures of her when her parents first married. “Thank God. I’ve missed you so much.”
Claire held tightly to Nat’s hand as she turned to the man beside her daughter. “Hello, you must be Dexter Smithers.”
He bowed his head respectfully. “Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Rawlings.”
Claire’s cheeks rose. “That’s rather formal from the man who stole my daughter’s heart. Please, my name is Claire.”
During their telephone calls, Nat explained how during her adventure of self-discovery, she’d met Dexter. At first, he’d helped her, staying with her and keeping her safe. With time, their relationship grew. Dexter was now the man she loved, the one she was engaged to marry. In reality, her stories were true. It was just their adventures that varied.
As they all stepped inside, three set of eyes turned to the dominating footsteps of Nat’s father entering the foyer. Dropping her mother’s hand and stepping away from Dexter’s possessive touch upon her lower back, Natalie ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Without hesitation, he embraced her.
“Daddy.”
“My little Nat. You had us all very worried.” Even at his age, his deep voice summoned respect while commanding any situation.
She reached for her father’s hand and led him back to where Dexter and her mom stood. Stepping close to Dexter, she said, “Daddy, I want to introduce you to my fiancé.”
Her father’s shoulders broadened and neck stiffened. Before Natalie could say anything, her mother’s petite hand landed upon her father’s sleeve. As Claire’s diamond ring glittered and prisms of rainbows danced, her touch served as a gentle reminder that this was not the time for Anthony Rawlings to assert his dominance.
Her father let out a long breath and offered his hand. “Hello, son. It’s good to finally meet you.” The address was a statement of Anthony’s position and age, not a term of endearment. This battle wasn’t over. Anthony Rawlings didn’t surrender.
“Sir,” Dexter said.
“My husband, Nat’s father…Mr. Rawlings,” Claire said, introducing the two men. “Tony, this is Dexter.”
“Dexter Smithers,” Dexter repeated.
Tony’s dark eyes narrowed. “Relation to Jonas?”
Surely he knew the truth. Anthony Rawlings would have known after the first time he saw Dexter’s name. If he didn’t know on sight, a search by his security would have been conducted and within moments the dots connected.
There was no reason for Dexter to deny it. “Yes, sir, his son.”
“We lost touch. I didn’t know he had a son.”
“Second wife. Only child, a little later in life. My father’s no longer with us.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Tony said.
Natalie watched and listened as her father and Dexter spoke. She’d never heard about Dexter’s family. She’d spoken about hers, but he’d never offered. Yet in merely seconds, her dad had shed more light than Dexter had offered in nearly five months.
“Dexter, can we offer you a drink before dinner?” Claire asked.
“Thank you, I’m not much of a drinker.”
Tony nodded toward an archway. “Cognac. It’s a man’s drink.”
As they all started walking toward the den, Claire reached for Natalie’s hand. “If you gentlemen will excuse us for a moment, I have a few things upstairs for Nat.” She smiled. “Your Christmas gift.”
Natalie looked to Dexter. She wasn’t supposed to leave his side or speak out of his sight. He’d made the rules crystal clear. The panic may have shown in her gaze until he grinned and kissed her cheek. “Hurry back.”
As they walked up the stairs, Claire chatted about Natalie, how beautiful she looked, how handsome Dexter was…she asked about the sights Natalie had visited…and then they reached her parents’ room and Claire shut the door.
Her mother’s emerald eyes no longer shone. There was darkness in their depths that stung Natalie more than a slap to her cheek. Somehow, in this brief span of time, her mother knew. She knew Nat’s secrets… knew what happened behind closed doors.
“Is he good to you?” Claire asked.
Natalie shifted, finding it difficult to keep her mother’s gaze. “He can be, Mom. He really can.”
Claire’s eyes closed as her face momentarily fell forward. When she looked back up, Natalie’s eyes were wet. Claire wrapped her daughter in her arms. “Tell me if you love him.”
“I do. I can’t explain it. Please don’t ask me to.”
“I don’t need to ask. I understand.”
Natalie’s head shook. “I don’t think you do. It’s not like you and Dad.”
Taking a step back, Claire sighed. “Oh, my baby. Some day when you have children, you’ll understand the struggle. Parents are complicated. We play such a vital role in our children’s lives. Sometimes we keep secrets hidden to protect, but it seems that it doesn’t always protect; it leaves the door open, an invitation to those who wait.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
“Does he value your feelings and opinions?”
It was a strange question, yet Nat answered. “He wants them. He’s always asking me to tell him how I feel and what I’m thinking.”
Claire smiled. “That took your father longer.”
“Mom?”
“I love you, Natalie Rawlings. I always will.”
“I know, Mom. I love you, too.”
“Your father does too. We also love one another.”
Natalie slapped her hands against her side as she let out an exasperated breath. “I know. I always thought I wanted what you have, but then with Dexter…”
Claire reached for her daughter’s hand and led her to a small sofa where they sat. “When I found a man I loved more than life itself and whose love for me was overwhelming, I was alone. I didn’t have my mother. I’m not unhappy with the final result, but let me just say that the journey would’ve been easier if I wouldn’t have made it alone. I know you aren’t ready to hear or say more. I can see it in your eyes. They’re mine. They always have been, different from Nate’s and so much different from Nichol’s. Natalie, you are me.”
“I’m not…” A tear trickled from her freshly painted eyes as her words faded away.
“You are. The question I asked—if he’s good to you—was the same question your Uncle John asked me a long time ago. You answered it exactly as I did.”
“Mom?”
“No matter what I need to do,” Claire said, “I want you and Dexter to know that I won’t judge you. I won’t lose my baby or her babies. Your father will be more difficult, but leave him to me. Please promise me that no matter what the future holds, no matter your last name, you’ll always be a Rawlings.”
“I don’t know about my name. Dexter and I haven’t discussed…”
Claire smiled. “I don’t mean your legal name. You have a man in your life. One who consumes your thoughts, one who takes up most of the room in your heart, but, baby, there’s always room for more. I know, because there was a time I believed your father was my everything. It’s not that he wasn’t or isn’t. It’s that each time I learned that there was a baby inside me, my heart grew. The same will happen for you. I’m just asking that you also keep a spot for us—for your family and especially for me. No matter what, I’ll be there.”
Natalie leaned into her mother’s embrace. “I love you, Mom.”
After their hug, Claire rose and walked to a bookshelf, reaching for a small box with a ribbon. She came back and handed it to Natalie. “Merry belated Christmas.”
Nat’s eyes watered as she opened the hinged box to the delicate necklace. “It’s like yours and Nichol’s necklaces.” A small pearl sat nestled in a white-gold X.
“It is. I’m not sure why we never had one made for you before. But when you weren’t at Christmas, I realized how much the necklace means to me and to your sister. Your father and I gave your great-grandmother’s necklace to Nichol when she was young. It was your dad who surprised me by having one remade for me. It’s more special that I can even articulate.”
Claire smiled as she touched Nat’s hand. “Yours and mine are identical; they’re replicas. That doesn’t make them less than Nichol’s. It makes ours the same, like us. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Natalie, you’re no longer our baby.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re a beautiful woman and always know that we’re proud of you.”
Nat’s cheeks filled with pink as her heart swelled. “Thank you, Mom. I was afraid that after Harvard—”
Claire squeezed her hand. “Sometimes life takes a detour and gives us an opportunity to live a life different than we ever imagined. Are you happy with where yours took you?”
“Yes.”
“Then that’s all that matters. I have another gift for you, but right now, let’s go back downstairs. I think it might be beneficial to keep your father and Dexter supervised.”