“How long do you typically run for?” Ivy asks me as we stretch at Long Beach before a run.

“Usually ‘til I can’t feel my legs or breathe.”

“Shut up,” she says and swats me.

“It’s the truth,” I respond blocking her.

“I’d like to feel my legs and keep breathing, if that’s okay?”

“Well, today I would too,” I respond and kiss her on the lips. A gesture that is so new to me, but feels so right.

“Ready?”

We head down the beach, the warm sun just greeting the day. I haven’t ever been here this early, but Ivy said we had to see the sunrise. The waves crash along the shore and I look over at her running, and I couldn’t be happier.

We run for only a few minutes and then she stops and I look at her puzzled. “What?”

She points to the sun as it crests the horizon. My eyes are drawn to it and I am shocked with how fast it rises. Wrapping an arm around her, I hold Ivy close to me. Breathing in her intoxicating scent. The wind whips her ponytail and I grab it in my hand, holding it in place. I can see the smile on her face as she rests her head on my shoulder.

The sun comes fully into view and I pull her hair, turning her face towards mine. “Thank you for everything,” I tell her, needing to get that out in the open. She has done so much for me…for us.

She presses her lips against mine and looks at me with those eyes. The same eyes that made me fuck her yesterday. “Thank you.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

She smirks like she’s doing nothing wrong and goes to run off. I pull her back by the hair and say, “Don’t ever run from me.”

“I won’t.”

We continue our run, neither of us saying much, but we both are enjoying being here. In this place, a place that keeps us close to Zoë, the person whom we both love and who ultimately brought us together.

“Have you thought anymore about when you want to go to the city?” she asks me as we get back to my truck.

I shake my head, resting my hand on her door handle before I open it. “Never,” I respond. Knowing that going back there is only going to mentally fuck with me and possibly make me question everything that I am doing.

“Let’s go today?”

Looking into her eyes, I’m unable to answer. Gently I close her door and walk around to my side. Looking out at the vast ocean on the way, it’s beautiful, and for the first time since I lost Zoë, I don’t say, until tomorrow, beautiful. I’m not sure why the words don’t leave my mouth, but they just don’t feel necessary.

Leaving here with Ivy is like a part of me has let go of Zoë. And though it should maybe be counterintuitive, I feel her approval. Getting into the truck, Ivy is looking at me concerned and asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah. Are you serious about going to the city today?”

“If you’re ready, then I am. I know my sister and can hear what she would tell us to do. Her belongings, as much as they hold memories, they aren’t her. You and I know who she was and we have to remember what she would want. She wouldn’t want this to burden us any longer; she would want us to be happy.”

“Okay, let’s go then.” Starting up my truck, we head into the city. Ivy is absolutely correct. The apartment holds a lot of memories, but so does my head, and no one can ever take that away from me.

After an hour of driving, we arrive. Pulling into the garage for the apartment, Ivy is asleep. I put the truck in park and run my knuckles down her cheek. “Wake up, Ivy.”

She looks around the dark garage and then at me a little confused. “Did I sleep the entire drive?” she asks.

“Uh huh.”

Her stomach growls and I stall with proceeding upstairs, using the excuse. Just being back here is fucking hard. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat before we go in.” We get out of the truck and the second that my feet hit the ground, I’m taken back to the day that Zoë and I moved in. She was so happy and excited. Riding up the same elevator to the lobby with Ivy, I can’t help but get lost in my thoughts.

The doors ding and we exit into the bright and vibrant place that at one time I called home. The familiarity is hard to take in and I grab Ivy’s hand, leading her across the lobby and out the doors. The second that we hit the New York City air, my breath comes back to me.

“Why the rush?” Ivy asks as I drag her away from the building.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I respond and slow down. “I just need to eat.”

“Okay.” She walks a little faster to keep up with me and then we enter the first café that I see.

Ivy and I order and then sit outside. As we wait for our food, I’m in a cloud, haunted by so many things from the past. Things that I never thought would come back to me. Like the way the marble flooring in the building reminds me of Zoë and how it made her feel our place was over the top or how the sounds of the sirens in the distance take me back to that night. My mind swirls like a fucking tornado and I’m not sure how to stop it. Looking out at all of the people as they buzz by, Ivy takes my hand and says, “If you aren’t ready to do this, we don’t have to.”

Looking into her eyes, I appreciate the concern. She reads me well. “I…I didn’t know I was going to feel her so much going back there.”

Tears fill her eyes and she lets go of my hand. “Don’t do that,” I beg, reaching for her hand. She holds it and as we look into each other’s eyes, I’m reassured that no matter what I have to face in front of me or what obstacles are ahead of me, as long as I have Ivy, I’ll be okay.

“Krane, I’m sorry I said we should do this today.”

“Don’t be. This isn’t your fault, you’re just trying to help. It’s me. I’m all over the place. I need to remember what is real and stay grounded.”

All I can do right now is to live in the moment. I cannot get ahead of myself, because that just lets things get out of control. Each moment, each breath, each second is all I can focus on moving through.

“Krane!” my name is called out as Ivy and I leave the café and I look up to see Logan walking towards us.

“What’s up, man?” he asks energetically.

“Not much,” I respond, “You remember Ivy.” They shake hands and he looks down at our intertwined fingers, then smiles at me.

“You doing okay, brother?”

I nod and it brings him a smile. “Good. Hey, I was just headed to the gym. You should come.”

“I would, man, but we gotta get—”

“No, we don’t,” Ivy chimes in and I give her that look. “We can spare an hour.”

“For real?” Logan shouts like a girl and when I see his excitement, I feel terrible for turning my back on him. He is my best friend. We were together every day, training hard. Sometimes, I thought that he wanted me to make it even more than I did.

“Sure, man,” I add.

“The guys are gonna love seeing you.”

“You training with anyone?” I ask as the three of us start to walk together.

“Not really. I’ve mainly been helping Ethan.”

“You?”

“Nah, you know I wouldn’t do that.”

As we round the corner, the gym comes into view and it brings a smile to my face. I have so many good memories here. This was my home away from home. This place has made some great fighters and I’m proud to say that I’m one of them.

“How long did you guys train for?” Ivy asks.

Logan stops walking and looks between the two of us. “Almost four years.”

We continue on as I say, “It was a great ride. I was training for the fight of my life when we last were together, but…” I trail off. “I never made the fight.”

Logan opens the door for me and the noises invade my senses. My eyes bounce everywhere, scanning all of the faces, some I recognize, while others I don’t. Logan whistles, like he used to when I would slack off on training and my ears ring along with everyone else’s. All eyes are pulled in my direction, and when the guys I trained with for so long recognize me, I am bombarded.

“Holy shit, Hensley’s back,” Ethan, the owner, yells, and the next hour is spent reminiscing. I never realized how much I missed this place, or these guys, but I do.

“A hundred bucks says not one of you pussies can stand one round in the ring with Hensley,” Ethan challenges, and then looks at Ivy and apologizes for the pussy reference.

“I’ll have him tapping in half a round,” a guy about my size says from across the gym.

“Don’t do it, Brock,” one of the guys says.

Ivy’s hand is still in mine and typically I’m not egged on by anyone, but this asshole has kept quiet my entire visit, like I am sand in his underwear, and every time I’ve looked at him, his eyes are on Ivy.

I squeeze her hand once before letting go and then step forward. A low roar of cheers erupts in the room and the douchebag hops off the weight bench like he’s tough. Pulling my shirt over my head, I toss it to Ivy and step to him.

Ethan jumps between us holding us apart. “We’re not bare knuckle fighting. Suit up.”

“Nah, fuck that shit!” I shout and move around Ethan pushing the guy backwards.

“You think you’re tough?” he asks.

“Yeah, and you’re about to find out how tough I am.” I push him out of my way and hop into the makeshift ring that I have grappled and sparred in so many times. Leaning down I stretch my back and legs and then raise my fists.

“Lock the door,” Ethan shouts and jumps into the ring, holding us apart “If I let you fight like this, when I call it, you’re done, understand?”

I nod once and catch sight of Ivy watching me as I pound my fists together. Having her close to me again while I fight feels good. Especially because this time I know that she is safe. Ethan steps back and says, “Bring it on.”

The ten guys in the room erupt in cheers, but through it all, Logan’s voice is loud and clear. I hear him better than anyone; hell, I trust him the most. As we size each other up and land a few jabs here and there, I get my feet in a good flow, but he wants to take me to the ground to try and end it quickly, and I’m not having that weak ass shit. I’d rather beat the shit out of him for four and a half minutes and then make him tap.

Swinging in for a left hook, he ducks and catches me with an uppercut. Blood pools in my mouth and I smile at him, taking things up a notch. I keep him close to the ropes as I work him around the ring, landing shot after shot. He grunts from every punch, tiring out quickly, and the satisfaction of quickly having the advantage only ramps up my adrenaline.

Stepping back, I look at him and can see the pain in his face as he heaves for air. Clearly he’s not well trained in endurance. Kicking his feet out from underneath him, I contemplate my next move, then Logan sees an opportunity that I don’t and shouts, “Arm bar.” And I grab his arm, outstretching it in my grip. Holding it back in just the right position, I strain his elbow so I put enough pressure to make him tap, but not enough to snap it, even though I want to. I lock eyes with Ivy and watch the grin spread across her face. His groans are painful as he holds out and I tweak his arm back a little harder, then feel his free hand tapping me over and over.

Ivy claps as Ethan calls it. Jumping up and down, she raises both hands high in the air excited. Letting go of my grip, the douchebag falls off of me and I get to my feet, hugging Logan as he congratulates me along with the rest of the guys in the gym. Being back here shows me how much I’ve missed everyone. It was stupid of me to turn my back on these guys when I was in need of them most. But in doing so, it turned me towards Ivy and as she wraps her arms around me, I feel deep in my bones that everything I’ve been through has brought me to this moment. Because everything happens for a reason.