The details of this bonus story come AFTER Raw Rhythm, Found in Oblivion #5. So, if you are not fully caught up with the Found in Oblivion series we are warning you now. SPOILERS!

“I want to see my wife.”

Donovan’s admin didn’t look up from whatever she was typing. “She’s in a meeting with Mr. Lewis. If you’ll take a seat—”

“Look, I’ve been waiting half an hour already. I’m sure you didn’t even tell her I was here.”

She flicked a glance at him and away as if he were no worthier of her attention than a gnat. “I most certainly did. She advised you to take a seat.”

Nick didn’t growl, but it was a close thing. “Why do I doubt that?”

Donovan’s admin kept typing away merrily, her keystrokes seeming to keep time with the jazz playing through unseen speakers. “Doubt as you wish. She hasn’t come to retrieve you, now has she?”

They’d gone around and around this dance before. The woman hated him, not that he knew why. He was sweet as could be to her, except when she blocked him at every turn.

Which was always.

Normally, he avoided going through proper channels as much as possible. He was a known quantity at Ripper Records, so he could walk about freely even after recent tragic events had necessitated a security lockdown. But one place he could not intrude on without requesting access was Donovan’s private office in the tower building separate from Ripper’s main hive. Lila usually didn’t meet with him there, but whatever they were discussing must be primo secretive shit.

His curiosity was piqued, but he was also annoyed. He was her husband. He wouldn’t interrupt her work if it wasn’t important.

Still, it wasn’t that important, except to him. So he’d bided his time. And he would continue to, assuming he could be assured Li truly knew he was on the premises.

With this chick? He had no such confidence.

“Look, I’m leaving on a world tour in a couple days.”

She sniffed at him and kept typing.

“A mini world tour, granted, but it’s still overseas. Our first time abroad. Is it so much to ask for that I get to spend time with my wife prior to leaving?” He was begging, but in a manly, prideful way.

More sniffing and typing. After a moment, she glanced up and pinned him with baleful brown eyes behind her rimless glasses. “I would suggest perhaps you either make an appointment ahead of time or perhaps, keep non-work business to non-work hours.”

He clenched his jaw. “I sleep when she gets home. Lately, I’m up all night with—”

“Yes, with your rockstar duties, I know. Very heroic of you.” She reached for a foil-wrapped packet. “Mint?” she asked pleasantly.

He took it and popped it into his mouth to keep from growling again. “I’m up most nights with our daughter, thank you very much. Charlie is a fussy sleeper, not that you care. She’s still teething.”

Her cries were absolutely pitiful, so he couldn’t do his best to ignore them as he had when she was a baby. Plus, now she could say “Daddy” and did often enough that Li had given up going to her when she fussed in the middle of the night.

Donovan’s admin made a noise in her throat and continued typing.

“Whatever.” He stalked back over to the chair he’d occupied and dug out his phone.

Half an hour later, Li had still not appeared, and the admin had stepped away probably to make voodoo dolls. He’d watched her release the private elevator for Donovan’s floor from a button behind her desk enough times that he went right to the hidden panel, pushing the button and heading inside the elevator before she could come back and screech at him.

Handily, he had his ID with the additional security clearances Lila had made sure he had as her husband. He could have made use of them before, but he’d tried to do stuff the right way. Screw that. He wasn’t made for channels. He was a break-in and interrupt sort of dude and always would be.

It seemed as if he endured a million swipes and scans before he was outside Donovan’s office. All this security bullshit was because that bastard Nick wouldn’t even acknowledge in his head by name anymore had believed he could ruin people’s lives and not get caught. He’d had an accomplice, but it didn’t matter. They knew who was truly responsible.

And now he was dead. As he should be.

Outside Donovan’s door, Nick flexed his hand into a fist. Even now, more than a month after that final confrontation, his knuckles still ached sometimes. Theirs had been a fight to the death, and if his sister Ricki hadn’t been there—

Yeah, well, he wasn’t cocky enough to deny who probably would’ve been dead that night.

Nick lifted his hand to knock, then gave in to his baser instincts. Aka tipped his head near the thick-as-fuck door to see if he could hear anything.

The hum of voices came through, but just barely. They were completely indistinct.

He glanced at his watch. Past seven now. Way beyond official business hours. Hell, maybe Donovan’s admin hadn’t gone to the bathroom. She’d probably gone home. It wasn’t as if she’d bother to say goodnight to Nick. He was just a pain in her rear.

Li had been working late a lot recently, which wasn’t that shocking considering all the crap that had happened in the fall. They were down a rep, among other things, and she was a workaholic under the best of circumstances. Add in the tragedy at the Warning Sign concert and the security breaches and all the rest, and it was no wonder she was rarely home for dinner these days.

Sometimes she wasn’t even home for the late news.

He’d understood what he was in for when he married her. They were both wedded to their careers, and their hours didn’t always mesh. As long as one of them was present for the girls, it was all good.

Usually.

They hadn’t talked a lot since the showdown in November. She’d been closed off and quiet, and the holidays had been understandably subdued this year. Sex had been oddly scarce since the fall too. That rarely happened anymore, especially since last Christmas when they’d vowed to not lose track of that part of their relationship due to work or stress or anything else. But she hadn’t been initiating, and he hadn’t been initiating, and now it felt as if fucking Donovan Lewis saw his wife more than he did.

To hell with that.

Nick knocked once and yanked on the doorknob at the same time. It didn’t budge. That fucker Donovan had locked the door.

Locked himself in with his wife, after hours. When supposedly Li knew Nick was waiting for her downstairs.

He’d always assumed seeing red was a figure of speech. Not so much.

“Lila,” he bellowed, and he wasn’t ashamed. Not even when the door swung open and Lila appeared, looking ridiculously cool and composed in contrast to the heat now strangling his throat. If he tugged at his collar any more, he’d pop a button.

He’d even dressed up to come down to the record studio. Traded his Megadeth T-shirt and ripped jeans for something more appropriate, since he was visiting as Li’s husband and not as a member of Oblivion. So much for making an effort.

“Nicholas,” she said in her typical impervious tone, raising a brow. “What are you doing here?” Then a moment later, her expression clouded. “Is it the girls? Is something wrong?”

“No. They’re with Gray and Jazz, probably having a ton of fun.” He reached out and snagged her wrist when she nodded and started to turn away. “I told that resting witch face that. Didn’t she tell you? She must have, or else you would’ve let me in if for no other reason.”

That she might not agree to see him right away if the choice was merely between him or her work didn’t burn. Nope.

“She told me.” The smooth male voice from behind Lila had her shifting toward the man seated behind a slab of a desk. Donovan didn’t raise his voice, and Nick couldn’t see him because Lila was blocking the doorway. Evidently, Donovan didn’t deem it necessary to rise. “Since it was ascertained it wasn’t a family emergency, I assumed it could wait.”

“Oh, who ascertained that?” Nick demanded. “You?”

Lila clearly hadn’t been told a damn thing. He’d known Donovan’s admin hated him and hadn’t properly relayed the message he was there. Telling Donovan wasn’t even close to the same thing.

When Lila started to urge him back out the door, Nick nudged her out of the way and wedged into the doorway, his gaze alighting on her boss.

Now Nick understood why he hadn’t risen. The asshole’s shirt was open, his tie hanging loosely off his collar. Six-pack—hell, forget six, try eighteen-pack—abs on full display.

Nick glanced back and forth from Donovan to his wife. “What the hell is going on?”

Lila rolled her eyes. Actually rolled them and set Nick’s temper from broiling to full steam. “We’re having a meeting, Nicholas. He spilled coffee on his shirt. That’s all.”

Nick cocked his head. “You got pants on under that desk, Lewis?”

One dark eyebrow of Donovan’s winged up. “You play the role of jealous husband quite well, Crandall.”

Nick snorted. “I am not jealous. You know why?” Lila’s hand came out to restrain Nick as he moved forward, but it was like trying to hold back a gust of wind with a couple of fingers. “If you ever so much as thought about touching my wife, I’d make you lose that upper crust accent so fast, your pretty little head would spin.”

“Nicholas,” Lila gasped, but it was Donovan’s reaction that intrigued Nick far more.

He simply nodded and rose, gesturing to the finely tailored gray jacket folded on the back of his chair. A stain was visible on the left sleeve and on the open panels of Donovan’s formerly crisp white shirt.

Nick swallowed and gripped the back of his neck. He hadn’t truly believed that Lila would cheat, but Jesus, would he ever be able to keep a leash on that hair-trigger temper of his when it came to other men even looking at her?

No. No, he would not. Because to him, she was everything, and he couldn’t imagine another man being in her sphere without wanting her. It was truly incomprehensible.

“I can’t believe you.” Lila glared at Nick but he simply shrugged. “Never mind the apology you owe me, you owe Donovan one as well.”

Donovan held up a hand when Nick opened his mouth to toss back a reply. “He’s understandably protective of you. No man who is being honest could blame him.”

Nick jutted his chin at Lila, though he wasn’t nearly as smug as he probably seemed. Hearing a guy like Donovan acknowledge that Nick was right to flip his wig didn’t exactly set his mind at ease. He would’ve preferred it if Donovan acted as if he was an irrational lunatic.

Lila didn’t appear to hear Donovan. Her focus was solely on Nick. “We need to talk.”

Nick held up his hands, palms out. “By all means.”

“Here, feel free to use this space. It’s getting late. We’ll discuss more about the addition of Sabrina tomorrow.” Donovan picked up his soiled jacket and hung it jauntily over his shoulder as he moved to the door.

“Donovan, no,” Lila protested. “We won’t drive you out of your own office—”

“You aren’t driving me anywhere. Time got away from me and I have a dinner engagement. Just do a full lockdown when you leave, please.” He smiled at Lila before turning toward Nick. His smile noticeably thinned. “Understanding your position doesn’t mean you are in the right. She deserves far more credit.” Then he shifted back toward Lila again. “Tell him what we discussed. It’s important.”

Lips pressed together, Lila nodded. “I will.”

Nick frowned as the door shut softly behind Donovan. “What discussion?”

“Not yet.” She moved to Donovan’s desk and did something quickly on the computer. She was probably hiding all vital financials or something from Nick’s prying eyes.

Like he gave a shit what Donovan got up to in this icy tower of his.

Finally, she stepped back and took a shaky breath. “Do you truly think so little of me?”

Nick swallowed hard. “Li—”

She shook her head and strode to the windows, opening the fancy reflective blinds that obscured the view. The lights of LA in the distance appeared, the vantage from Donovan’s lofty tower perch beyond stunning.

For a second, Nick returned to a much different night, years ago now. One where Li had given him a proper dressing down before a difficult concert and he’d followed through by visiting her office afterward. She’d been nearly alone in the building, as it had been late that evening too. Even later than it was now. When he’d walked into her office, full of righteous fury and so much more, she was gazing out her window just as she was now, though her scope was different than Donovan’s due to the tower’s incredible height. She’d seemed utterly alone to him, and at once, his anger had ebbed.

He didn’t have anger in him now, just regret.

“I’m sorry.” He shut his eyes and shook his head. “Jumping to conclusions like that is indefensible.”

She was quiet for a long moment. “Do you think I’d ever do that to you?After my past, do you honestly think I could?”

“No,” he said finally, hating that what he’d done and said had reminded her of her fucker ex for even one second. “It’s not about what you would do.”

“Oh, really.”

“You’re the fucking sun and moon to me, and I can’t believe a sane man could even be near you and not want you. But it’s not because I don’t trust you. It’s all of them.” He let out a frustrated breath as she pivoted to face him, one slim brow raised in a fashion much like her boss’s. “Also, Lewis is a female’s fucking wet dream. All these years, I’d kind of hoped his suits were just cut really well and he wasn’t a goddamned Adonis under there. But nope.” Nick shook his head in disgust. “Bastard.”

A hint of a smile curved her lush mouth. “I’ve never noticed him that way. Clearly, you have.”

“Who hasn’t? I’m straight as an arrow, but I have eyes.”

“Yes, well, so do I, and I don’t view him in a sexual manner. He’s my employer, Nicholas, and only my employer.”

“You mean like I was just your client?” He didn’t mean to say it. Especially not when he sensed her irritation in his direction was weakening.

But not her hurt, and he’d just brought it storming back to the fore with his insensitive remark. Asshole.

“Look, I didn’t mean—”

“Oh, yes, you did. And you aren’t wrong.” She ran a hand over her hair, adjusting the tidy clip that held back the silken strands he’d felt against his skin more times than he could count. Never enough.

He’d never have enough of her.

“I never intended to be like Martin and misuse my influence,” she said, bringing him back to the conversation. “I resisted for a long time.” She smiled faintly. “I did a fine job of convincing both of us I hated you.”

“You didn’t misuse shit with me, and we both know it. If I hadn’t come to your office that night, you never would’ve made a move. I’d still be fucking dreaming of you and you’d be—goddammit, I don’t know what you’d be. Alone still? With some traditional dude who is perfect for you on paper and couldn’t begin to love you the way I do?”

The tilt of her head allowed him to see the minute tremble of her chin. “You don’t know what would’ve happened. I don’t know either. You can wonder and question the difference one action would make, if the timing had just been a little different, if things had aligned in another way—”

“Randy.”

She nodded. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel responsible.”

“Fuck, no.” He’d been trying to give her space because she wasn’t happy with him right now, but there were conversations he couldn’t have with distance between them.

This was one of them.

He crossed to her and drew her into his arms, gratified when she went without protest. She fit against him as if they had matching grooves, meant to lock together. “You’re the band’s rep for Ripper, not God. You couldn’t have done any more than you did. None of us knew—”

“I should’ve put more of the pieces together. It wasn’t just Randy.” She pressed her face into his neck and inhaled. “Ricki got hurt. It could’ve been worse, so much worse.”

He didn’t need her to remind him. He’d never stop having nightmares about that very thing.

“Could’ve. It wasn’t. That big lug she’s marrying was there, and he’ll always be there for her. If I didn’t believe that, I’d kick his ass for daring to touch her.” When Li tipped back her head to smile weakly, he narrowed his eyes. “I could kick his ass. No one thinks I can because he’s like a Mack truck and an Amtrak train had a baby, but I’m scrappier than I look.”

“Of course, you are, honey.”

Her belief in his fighting skills was obviously lukewarm at best. At least when it came to hand-to-hand combat with giants.

“Guess my belated New Year’s resolution is gonna be to hit the gym more with Kagan.”

“More? When have you ever gone to the gym with Simon?”

“I’ve gone,” he said defensively, glancing away from her arched brow. “Okay, so it’s been a while, and the gym was at his place. I walked by it a few times. That counts.”

Her lips twitched as she patted his stomach. “Don’t worry. Your dad bod still works for me.”

Nick made a noise in his throat. His belly was still flat, he’d checked. Good enough. “Dad bod, my ass. Since Simon’s in muscle man mode right now for the tour, might as well.” Add in Donovan’s eighteen-pack, and yeah, it wouldn’t hurt to do a little maintenance. “Once we get back, I’ll be on that shit.”

She stiffened in his embrace and he cupped her cheek. “What is it?”

Her answer was slow in coming. “It wasn’t just about what happened to Randy and Ricki,” she murmured.

“The others could’ve been hurt too.”

“God, you’re just a colossal idiot, you know that?” She punctuated the question with a soft jab to his chest. She would’ve spun away and out of his arms, but he wasn’t allowing that any more tonight.

“Duh, yeah, noted. But why now?”

“You could have died.” She jabbed him again when he wouldn’t let her go, and this time, his fingers dug into the soft flesh of her neck. “Don’t you realize that?”

He started to throw back a glib response. It was his way, especially when they were sort of fighting. But the sheen in her eyes stopped him cold.

“No.”

“Yes.” She fisted her hands in his shirt. “Just because you think you’re too tough and strong for anything to harm you, he had a gun. A fucking gun he wouldn’t have hesitated to use on you, and you would have hesitated to defend yourself. You did. I saw it through the monitor.” Her lips parted on a tormented breath. “He wanted to kill you, and you still couldn’t bring yourself to do the same.”

“You’re wrong. If it had been a choice of him or me, he would’ve been out the door in a bag that zipped. As it was, he was anyway, because my sister is a goddamn steady shot.”

“She could do it. You couldn’t have. You loved him too much to—”

“I loved him once. A long time ago. But you honestly think if it had come down to him or me, to me living for you and the girls, he would’ve had a chance?” He softened his grip on her and framed her beautiful face in his hands. The tears that quivered on her lashes, a heartbeat away from dropping, shredded him into pieces. “You and our girls and my sister are my everything. I won’t leave you. Ever. Especially not because of that lowlife piece of garbage that tried to ruin everyone we love.”

She covered his hands with her own, lacing their fingers together. “I…” She faltered and he steadied his hold on her, waiting her out. She so rarely stumbled, even for a second. “I’m afraid now, in a way I wasn’t before. I never knew true fear until Randy and Ricki, and having to watch you fight for your life on a monitor when I couldn’t do a thing to help you.” Her eyes overflowed. “I would’ve died too.”

Even as his heart lurched, he drew her in, pulling her head to his chest. He’d never guessed any of this was living inside her. After that night, she’d gone back to the role she seemed to play so effortlessly. Strong and cool and resolute. He’d never seen her scared about anything. Not for long.

Definitely not over him.

“I didn’t die. I’m right here standing beside you.” He took her hand and brought it to his chest, pressing hard. “That’s my heart beating with yours, the way it will always be. But I’ll tell you this anyway. If something had gone wrong,” he didn’t stop at her soft sob, “you wouldn’t have died. Because you have two little girls who need their brave, strong mother. You underestimate yourself, but I don’t. I don’t,” he repeated as she lifted her head to meet his gaze, her eyes still streaming. And now his were wet too to match. “I did for a second tonight, when I walked in and saw Abs of Steel half naked. Not entirely my fault though. I thought his suits were permanently attached to his body.”

Her laughter was the sweetest balm, sweeter than any riff he’d pulled out of his head or heart. “He’s also gone shirtless at the Ripper volleyball tournaments we used to have in the early days. I didn’t swoon then either.” She gave a delicate shrug. “Turns out I like hotheads more than control freaks.”

“Donovan plays volleyball?” He pushed that aside to process at another time. Instead he rubbed his thumb roughly over her lower lip. “Like, huh?”

She smiled slightly under his thumb. “Tell a guy you would die without him and he still has to play word games.”

He reached down to grip her waist, hitching her up onto his hips and carting her over to Donovan’s far too neat desk before she could do more than gasp. He deposited her on the blotter and hooked his fingers in the dainty strand of pearls around her pale throat. “It’s been too long since I’ve bound your wrists with pearls.”

Her lashes fluttered. “This is a place of business.”

Hmm, he’d expected more of a refusal than that. Maybe his dirty side had rubbed up against her own innate one enough to kill some of her prim and proper side. Or else she knew how to torque him just right.

Only one way to see.

“It is. And he made a mistake of leaving me alone with you in here when all I can think about is spreading you out and fucking you on his desk just like I wanted to fuck you on yours that night after the concert. The night I finally got to touch you.” He tugged lightly on the pearls as her pupils blew wide. “I wanted to from the very first time I saw you. Such a good girl, and all I wanted to do was tarnish you.”

She wet her lips and wound her legs around his hips, not so subtly drawing him in closer. Into all that heat he couldn’t wait to sink into. “Not so good.”

“I might’ve forgotten. Since you work so much and I barely see you now.”

Her throat rippled against the backs of his fingers, still tangled in her necklace. “I didn’t want to break down on you, and I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t.” She let out a dry laugh and tossed back her head, the ends of her sultry blond hair trailing over the desk. “Then I did anyway, except I did it at the doctor’s.”

His mind was already scrambling from the sight of her tight breasts swelling against her blouse, straining the buttons until they nearly popped. But the word doctor cut through all of that. “Why were you at the doctor?”

Her head lifted and her laughter faded into a small, regretful smile. “I’d made the appointment in October to make sure all looked good to go off my birth control. The appointment itself wasn’t until late January. I was thinking after the holidays.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

She laughed again, and this time, it stuck around. She sat up more and cupped his cheeks. “Still want another baby?”

He didn’t have to think. “Of course. But you weren’t in any hurry—”

“Yes, well, time flies. The last few months proved that, didn’t they?” She turned her head. “I almost cancelled after the show.” Her shoulders shook. “After Randy and Ricki.”

“You changed your mind.” His newly rising joy was snuffed out, just like that. “Not the right world to bring more kids into, blah, blah, blah.”

“That’s a reasonable thought, but no. I said I was afraid.” She closed her eyes. “The idea of getting pregnant will always scare me because of my miscarriage. Add in what happened, and I just didn’t think I could risk anything else. Maybe people only get so many miracles, and I’m asking for more than my share. We already have so much with the girls—”

“That’s bullshit. This world doesn’t hand out participation prizes. You want something, you go for it and you grab on with both hands. And you fight like hell anyone or anything who tries to rip what you love away.”

She opened her eyes and nodded. “Why I’m starting counseling, to help remember the good. The reasons to fight and not to let the fear win. It’s also why I spoke to Donovan about bringing in grief counselors to Ripper, so they’re available for all the tough guy and girl rockers who don’t need help from anyone, ever.” She watched him far too intently. “This way, they’re on site and someone can go once or ten times, their choice. No one needs to feel pressured or has to seek help on their own. It’s available if they want it.”

His throat felt too tight, and his ribs ached as if he couldn’t take a full breath. Almost unconsciously, he untangled her legs from around him and shifted back, bumping into Donovan’s rigid desk chair and sending it skidding over the sleek floor. Probably marble or some crap. Always the best for the big boss man.

Nick gripped his neck and turned away, fleeing to the window like the coward he was.

Of anything she could have said, this he’d expected least. She wasn’t anyone he would’ve ever assumed could need counseling. As for himself, the idea was laughable. He wasn’t a guy to easily spill his feelings to people he cared about, never mind strangers. And she believed any of his friends might want to either? Not hardly.

Maybe Jazz would. She was open to shit like that. Gray too since he’d been in rehab and his feelings had basically been dissected like that night’s catch of the day. But Simon? Hell no. Well, maybe, because of Margo…

Christ, Margo. And Deacon. And Harper.

God, they’d endured so much. Were still enduring it every damn day.

Because of the man Nick had given every chance to, again and again. Even when it didn’t make sense. They’d gone back so far, and his buddy deserved another chance. And another and another.

Randy wasn’t getting any other chances, and he hadn’t needed them in the first place. He’d been so fucking good, such a decent, stand-up guy, and what had he gotten for his trouble?

Nick shut his eyes and pressed his forehead to the cool window. Anything to stop the thoughts slamming through his head like bullets from a machine gun.

“Hey.” Lila’s hand on his back was gentle. Soothing. “You don’t have to speak to someone. No one does. But I’m glad the option is there. I think it should be, don’t you?”

He wanted to laugh it off. To say he was fine. Before he’d walked into this office, he’d convinced himself he was. He was still hurting for the people he loved. Of course, he was. But after those first crushing, numb weeks following the show in New York, they’d been in rehearsals again. Deacon had been on a modified schedule because of Harper, and Margo had needed to take more breaks to spend time with Jules, but for pockets of time, there was a sort of stilted normalcy.

Now they were going on the road—their first overseas gigs, for fuck’s sake—and instead of excitement, there was trepidation. At least on his end, and he was positive he wasn’t the only one. He didn’t want to leave Li and the girls. And it wasn’t just because he hated leaving them, period.

Everything was different. That sense that the world was basically okay had been shattered.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

Clenching his jaw, he stared out into the night. The twinkling lights of LA glittered, like diamonds that only shined on the surface. Go beneath and the core wasn’t nearly so frigging shiny.

“I don’t want to go on tour.” Her hand stopped rubbing his back, but its light pressure didn’t lift. “As for the other, I never needed counseling before. I handled what I had to.”

“You don’t want to go?”

He shifted to look at her. “You don’t want me to go either.”

“Of course, I don’t.” She shook her head as if he was daft. “Did you hear any of what I said?”

“But this is a great move for Oblivion, and for Ripper—”

“That’s true. But I don’t give a whit about profit and loss sheets when it comes to the man I love being away from me.” Even after everything that had come before, he was still processing his always business-minded wife saying money didn’t matter when she continued. “And the people I love being so far away from me. Margo and Simon, Deacon and Harper, Gray and Jazz—they’re all my family too.” She hooked her fingers in the belt loops of his pants and tugged him in close, resting her forehead against his chin. “Which is why I’m coming with you, and we can maybe try making a baby in Prague or something. Or just practice.”

“Prague? Hmm, that’s a thought. It is cold as fuck there right now. What better way to keep warm.” He was still so stuck on the idea of getting Li pregnant—intentionally this time—he almost missed the rest. Gripping her shoulders, he drew back. “Wait, what? You’re coming with us? How? I thought Lord Lewis was sending someone else over instead since you’re wrapped up here training the new rep.”

“Why do you think I’ve been working so many long hours?”

“To get away from me?”

She didn’t smile. “I never want to get away from you. I didn’t always want to spill how I was feeling, and I knew you’d drag it out of me. But that’s not the same thing.”

“Dragging is dangerous business. Usually involves being dragged yourself.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “So you’re coming with me. For real.”

“Yes. Donovan is rearranging schedules to make it work. More than one new person is coming in, but Sabrina doesn’t need handholding. She’s built quite a successful business on her own as a reputation fixer, so learning our ropes won’t be as difficult as it would be for some. The other person Donovan hired is greener, but—”

“Reputation fixer? What the hell is that?” He waved his hand. “Never mind. Let’s get back to me fucking you in Prague.” He frowned. “What about the girls? We have a rule—”

“My first thought was Ricki and Mal.”

“Oh hell no. You think that behemoth can properly keep my kids alive for a week?”

Delicately, Li cleared her throat. “Our kids.”

Nick grunted.

“Besides, Ricki would be there, and she’s great with the girls. You know that.”

Nick didn’t answer. That was true, but still, Mal, caring for children? No. He wasn’t practicing on their girls.

“God willing, they’re going to have their own babies someday, you know,” Li chided. “He’ll figure it out. I’ve known other clueless men who managed to raise children just fine.”

Nick narrowed his eyes. “I will ignore that statement.”

“Luckily, I came up with another solution.”

Nick grunted again. Better be a more feasible one than the last. Mal. Seriously? He probably wouldn’t even keep them from chewing on cords or falling off the furniture.

“My mother is coming with us. She’s going to help with them while we’re working. So the bus will be more crowded than usual.” Li’s lips curved. “That whole fucking me in Prague thing will require creativity.”

“I do always love a challenge. And I love you. Thank you for saving our children from over-large men without any native child-rearing skills.”

“That over-large man will be your brother-in-law soon enough. Might as well come to terms with it.”

“Maybe that’s the first thing I should discuss in therapy.” He’d said it to be funny, but the shadow that crossed her face was anything but.

To chase the darkness away, he picked her up again, holding her against him so her long hair tumbled down and curtained them in. “See, who needs a gym? I carry around my super-hot wife and same difference.”

Shaking her head, she laughed and sifted her fingers through his hair as he toted her back to Donovan’s desk. “You’re okay with my mom coming?”

“I love your mother. She says strange stuff sometimes, but pot, kettle. Also, the girls adore her.” He set her down on the blotter again and started on her buttons, waiting for Li’s requisite protests to kick in.

Instead she locked her leg around the back of his thighs. “This is probably wrong.”

“Probably? I was certain this would count as definitely wrong in your book. You’ve clearly been hanging out with an unsavory crowd.”

“Just a crowd of one.” She tapped her thumb against his stomach. “And he’s very savory, enough that I’m dying to get him in my mouth.”

He nearly groaned. Would have, in fact, if what she’d said earlier didn’t strike the base of his skull like an anvil.

“You broke down at the doctor’s office.”

She blinked, her bluebell eyes already hazy. “We can talk about that later.”

“No. We can’t.” He grabbed her hand when it detoured for his zipper, wondering how he’d become this guy. The one who worried his kids had a parent or grandparent with them as often as possible, who put off sex with a hot blond—who he just happened to be married to, thank God—in favor of discussing difficult subjects.

The world had tipped off its axis and he was clinging to the side with a hard-on.

“I’m not saying you need to talk to me. But you need to talk to someone.”

Lila blew out a breath. “It can’t be Margo right now. She’s dealing with so much stuff of her own with Jules. Also, I’m not sure, but I think something is going on with her and Simon.”

“Something like what?”

“I don’t know. She’s been odd lately, not talkative at all.”

“Like you?”

“Touché.” She sighed. “But yes, probably. The last few months have been so tough. I don’t begrudge her not speaking to me about her feelings. It’s not as if I’ve been any different. It’s just seems as if there’s more going on with them.”

“Married people are weird.”

“Thank you, Dr. Phil.” She was smiling at him though, so he figured his odds of getting lucky—on Donovan’s desk no less—were still high.

“Donovan really didn’t have a problem with bringing in therapists?” Nick went back to undoing her buttons, slowly. So slowly. Both for the seduction of it and because he hadn’t quite said his piece yet.

His piece wanted nothing more than to be between those creamy thighs, but unfortunately, there were other matters on the desk. Uh, table.

“It took some convincing. He thinks business and personal lives should be separate, no matter how much of a family we bill ourselves as. More than the standard record company and artist relationship. Still, it’s a sticky area. He didn’t want to cross lines.” She toyed with her slim bangle watch. “Ultimately, he wanted to do what was best for everyone. Being PC isn’t as important as taking care of his people.”

“You respect the guy.”

“I do. I’ve worked for him for a long time, and he’s never made it seem as if I didn’t have an equal say.”

“Are you going to talk to a counselor?”

“Yes.” She exhaled. “I think I am.”

It was easier than he expected to give her a quick nod. “Good. Me too.”

“About Mal?”

“Ha. No. He’s good for my sister. At least she says he is, so not my business. If that changes, I’ll break his fingers, not discuss it with someone I don’t know.” He flexed his hand, gripping her shirt. “All the rest. I’m going to try to talk about it. Try,” he repeated, just so she didn’t expect miracles. He wasn’t an emotive dude, and he didn’t see how a couple of counseling sessions would change that. But he could make an effort—for her, and for himself.

“Can’t ask for more than that. I’m trying too.”

He returned her measured look. “When we get back.”

“Yes. It’s only a few weeks.”

“A few weeks that will be impossibly better with you and my babies with me. And your mother, especially if she brings pie. Or better yet, she can make some pies on the bus?” His voice rose hopefully as Li laughed quietly.

“Your appetite never ceases.”

His gaze dropped to her perfect breasts, tilted upward at a mouth-watering angle thanks to her pose on the desk. “Damn straight it doesn’t.”

She inched closer, widening her thighs so that her skirt climbed higher on her legs. Much more and he’d get a glimpse of her panties. Wondering what color they were was an endless source of fascination for him.

Then she reached for his belt, yanking him to her. “You know this is wrong.”

Hmm. She was saying one thing and doing another. Still on Donovan’s desk. He was getting harder by the second.

“So wrong,” he echoed. “We shouldn’t.”

“You’re my client. Our relationship is strictly business.” She traced the holes on his belt and his cock jerked behind his zipper. “There are boundaries we shouldn’t cross. It’s not proper.”

Oh hell, she was role-playing. Or past-reliving. Not that she’d said exactly those words to him.

She’d said others though, ones that had pissed him off at the time and could be reused now.

“It’s not wrong if we keep it a secret.” He reached down and traced the lacy tops of her hose. She’d worn the same kind that night he’d first bent her over the table at the cabin, and discovering the secret delicacy of her underthings beneath her cool, crisp business suit had driven him mad.

Now he was all too aware of the frilly shit she wore under her suits. And he longed for her with every damn breath.

“No one can know.” With his other hand, he sculpted the line of her jaw and sank his hand into her hair, yanking her head back until their eyes were level. “Just one time. Then you’re supposed to walk away and forget. Can you handle that?”

“No.” Her breath shuddered out as she pulled his belt free and let it drop. “I couldn’t forget a single moment.”

The backs of his eyes burned hot for an instant at the memory of absorbing those words from her, knowing that one time might be all they would ever have. Going to Simon’s and fighting with his best friend when he taunted him over having a fruitless crush on Lila that would never come to anything when he still fucking smelled like her.

He drew her to him and flipped her over, belly-first on the desk, almost forgetting to check his strength until the last second. That flash of bared flesh beneath her skirt—soft, pale thighs above her silky hose—reminded him that he wasn’t in that past, and he didn’t even want to pretend.

Living through that moment once had been plenty.

“You’re mine. Now and always.” He spoke against her hair as he fisted her skirt and tugged it up to reveal her scalloped edge white panties. Pure. Virginal. She’d come to him nearly that way. Married but so inexperienced.

Now everything was so different, and this difference was magical.

He undid the clip in her hair one-handed and sent it flying, needing to see that wild tangle spread out in every direction. He didn’t undo the rest of her blouse, didn’t remove the trim jacket. Didn’t have the control left for that. Later, much later, when they were at home, he would do this the right way.

Now was all about possession, and vanquishing the past. Burning through it with the present.

He didn’t rip her panties. She would’ve expected that. Instead he went to his knees and found her through them with his mouth, tracing her slit with his tongue and lips while she muffled sounds against her fist. Scraping her knuckles raw with her teeth as he teased with the edges of his thumbs, pressing the already damp material inward, making it wetter with his erotic kisses. Then peeling it back to rub his tongue over her until she squirmed, her thighs locking tighter around his head. The blotter beneath her body shifted, and he shoved at it, needing her right where he wanted her. Forcing her thighs apart so that he could devour her without pause, finally sealing his lips around the throbbing button of her clit and slipping two fingers inside. She rocketed back against him, her pussy squeezing him to the point he had to get up and undo his pants or risk not fathering any more children. He undid his pants one hand, continuing to finger fuck her almost lazily. She looked over her shoulder at the sound of his zipper, heaving her hair out of her face.

“Hurry the hell up.”

It made him smile and slow his fingers even more. She pulsed around him, a heartbeat from orgasm, and he was the sadistic bastard who intended to keep her suspended there so he could feel every drip and squeeze around his dick.

“In a rush?” He freed his cock from his boxers and fisted it for one painful second before roughly rubbing her ass cheek, first one then the other. The fingers of his other hand continued their sensual assault, and he added a third just to hear her gasp. “Afraid Donovan is going to come back and catch us?”

Nick’s gaze flicked to the door and he frowned. He didn’t see her touch the security panel he knew had to be hidden in a drawer on Donovan’s desk, but she must’ve. She took her job extremely seriously. If she was doing this, she had to be confident that they wouldn’t be caught, but fuck, what about the cameras? They were all over this joint. He hadn’t even thought about them.

His hand slowed and Li rocked against him, coiling her leg around his to draw him closer as she reached back for his length. She was on her feet and grasping him tightly against her ass cheeks before he could counter, and he buried his face in her fragrant hair. The sweet scent of apples and sex deluged his senses and he drowned in it, savoring the pulls of her hand even as his brain scrambled to throw up a stop sign.

Donovan’s office. Donovan’s desk. Her boss. If she somehow didn’t take the necessary precautions, she could get in serious trouble.

She let him go and turned to push him back into Donovan’s chair, climbing astride him in her prissy skirt as easily as if the fabric was made of Lycra—and it so wasn’t.

“Wait.” It was impossible to think when she was straddling him with a couple buttons popped open, just enough for him to see the tops of her breasts heaving over the low cups of her bra. Her thighs locked around his legs and she took hold of his cock again, running her thumb over the heavy drop of pre-cum hovering at the tip. “Li.”

“No waiting.” She closed her mouth over his, her lips teasing his open and inviting his tongue out to toy with hers. They kissed for a couple of frantic moments, words and warnings colliding and clashing in his dizzy brain. But she was working him so right, her hand a blur, her other one reaching down to push aside the scrap of material that guarded her pussy. Then she guided him home.

Where he belonged.

He hesitated for a fraction of an instant before the primal need to claim that was never far away reared to the fore.

Hell yes, he was fucking Li in Lord Lewis’s chair.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her down hard, relishing her sweet moans as she drove her fingers into his hair and took his mouth. She’d come so far from the almost shy, inexperienced lover she’d once been. Now she took what she craved without hesitation, and fuck if that didn’t turn him on even more. She reached down for his hand, easing back just enough to suck on the tips of his fingers while she rode him, her pussy clasping him and releasing, clasping and releasing. Her body slid against his, sensuous and hungry, her tits so close to his face as she drew on his fingers, getting him wet before slipping his hand down her body, holding it against her breasts long enough for him to get the message and pinch her tightly furled nipples. Goddammit, he wanted to suck them with every stroke into her giving flesh. He fumbled with her blouse, trying to get it the rest of the way open, but she wasn’t having it. She had a different destination for his hand.

Right between her legs.

She held him there, circling, circling against her clit. He growled and pushed her hand away, needing more friction. He rubbed her even harder, showing no mercy, as the arm around her waist hauled her up and down and the liquid strokes of his dick inside her filled his consciousness. She was everything he could see. Streaming, wild blond hair, bright blue eyes nearly as crazed as his own, kiss-swollen lips. He tasted her in his mouth, breathed her in with every thrust. And it wasn’t enough. Couldn’t be enough, because she was the best part of his life, the most vital, amazing gift he’d ever been given.

His fingers on her clit sped up in time with his pumps into her body. She moaned softly, clearly trying not to make too much noise. He could’ve come from that sound alone. Fuck, the pressure in his balls was too much. It had been weeks since he’d had her, and he was desperate to watch her go over.

To follow as she quaked in his arms.

“Are you still on the pill?” he asked, ceasing his ministrations just long enough for her to respond.

“No.” She released an uneven breath. “I finally just stopped this week. I was going to tell you before we did anything, make sure you still wanted—”

“Oh, I want. I fucking want.” Letting out a groan, he drove into her that much harder. She tossed back her hair, her nails digging into his shoulders as she gave him back just as good as she was getting. Tiny pulses fluttered around his dick, her thighs flexing as she worked him from inside. Her grip through cotton into flesh created welts he’d treasure like fucking gifts. Hell, his shoulders might even be bleeding.

The best kind of war wounds.

“Nicholas.” His name on an exhale of her breath was his very favorite music. He leaned up and caught her lips, kissing her as he gripped her hips and brought her up and down, shifting the angle until he ground against her just right to send her soaring. Her moan spilled onto his tongue as her pussy fisted him, dragging him with her into a pleasure so dark and deep he could do nothing but growl and hang on.

She clung to him, panting, her damp forehead pressed to his. He couldn’t think. Could barely breathe.

Yet one thought still sliced through the drugging satisfaction.

“I could’ve just…” He paused, sucking oxygen into his starved lungs. “Knocked you up in Lord Lewis’s chair.”

Weakly, she giggled and tweaked his ear. “You know it’s usually not that quick. Especially with me.”

He cocked his head and thumbed a dangling strand of hair out of her eyes. “Wanna go for best two out of three?”

They finally stumbled out of there a while later like a pair of teenagers after a weekend-long bender. He’d had her again in the chair, this time with her legs over the arms and him sort of kneeling between them. Then once bent over the desk for good measure, though that time he’d just used his mouth and fingers.

A guy had to build up for that kind of sexual Olympics. He intended to ramp up his training schedule big time while they were overseas.

He rode home with her and would have his car sent home the following day with one of Ripper’s many assistants. They’d just pulled up the drive of their home and parked beside Gray and Jazz’s car when Li gestured to the phone he’d just taken out of his pocket. “About time you look at that.”

“You texted me? When?”

“When you were in the bathroom of Donovan’s thoroughly debauched office.”

“Hmm. What did you send?”

She grabbed his hand and stilled him when he would’ve opened the message. “Look at it later, okay?” She released his hand and flicked her fingers through her hair as she studied her reflection in the pull-down mirror. “I don’t look too fucked, do I?”

“If I say no, that means I need to pull you into this backseat and finish the job right.” He gave her a hard kiss. “Not a half-bad idea, by the way.”

“We have perfectly good beds inside. Besides, Gray and Jazz and the kids are right inside.”

Nick glanced at the backseat. “All the more reason to go for it now. The kids have sitters.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Hello, I have a job to do.”

“And what is that, exactly?” When he would’ve replied, she laid a finger over his lips. “I do appreciate your zeal in impregnating me, but it can be a process. It may involve charts and timing and who knows what else. So don’t get your hopes up too high.”

He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his already interested dick. “Hopes are high. Dick is higher. Let’s put the kids to bed and make more.”

The joy in her eyes was worth everything. Even in the near darkness, only relieved by the motion sensor light that shone weakly over them, her excitement was a palpable thing.

He’d give his life to make sure she always stayed exactly that way.

Happy. Fulfilled. His.

She flashed him a quick grin. “Did I mention incorrigible?”

“Yes.” He leaned in and nuzzled her jaw. “By the way, tomorrow is Valentine’s day, in case you think I forgot.”

“You didn’t?” Her surprise had her drawing back. “You did last year.”

“I wrote it on the calendar.” He couldn’t keep the pride out of his voice.

“Um, it’s already on the calendar. Preprinted.”

“Like I read that little crap. I did a text alert with repeating reminders.” He scrolled to the calendar app in his phone and showed her the event he’d created. “Hope you aren’t working late tomorrow night, because we have big plans, baby.”

She lifted a brow and glanced at his groin. “Penis reference, I’m guessing?”

“I can do romance without sex, thank you very much.” With an exaggerated sniff that made her laugh, he climbed out of the car and shut the door.

In no time, he was surrounded by children—not only his own two, but Gray and Jazz’s son, Dylan, and their daughter, Brianna. They finally all left, and he gave Avery his phone to play with as he always did while he tried to coax Charlie into drinking the last of her apple juice before bath time. And bedtime, because it was late and he wasn’t kidding about getting Li naked for some recreational activities of a babymaking nature.

She was upstairs taking a quick shower, and he really wanted to join her. Really.

“Da, cat?”

He shifted toward Avery. “I pulled up a cat video for you already. Did you hit the wrong button again?” He took back the phone, frowning at the screen. She’d pulled up his text messages, and the one from Li from earlier was there, containing a video with a still image that looked suspiciously like Donovan’s office.

Without thinking, he pressed play, his eyes going wide as his wife’s very memorable moans filled the air. Before he could hit the off button, Lila sailed through the air like an angel of mercy wrapped in terrycloth and seized the phone, holding it behind her back as if she expected him to leap up and demand it back.

Which he almost did, because holy shit, he’d already sprung an erection just from hearing her moan and his hand was still covered in apple juice.

Wrong. So much wrong.

“Cat?” Avery repeated, making Lila’s eyes go comically round.

If he hadn’t been in pain below the waist, he probably would’ve fell over laughing.

“A kind of kitty for sure, sweetie.” He snorted at Li’s sound of distress as she jerked him to his feet and pulled him into the hallway.

The second they were out of the kids’ view, he pinned her to the wall and took a long breath of her freshly shampooed hair. “You made me a sex tape. In Donovan’s office.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” He pulled back and framed her smirking face in his hands. “Tell the truth, Dragon Lady.”

His old nickname for her pre-falling in love made her grin. “I so did. I turned off the external camera and sound feed and instead sent it to tape on my own personal drive.”

“You devious, insanely hot woman. Won’t Donovan be suspicious?”

She gave a dainty shrug. “I’ll just say the equipment went briefly offline due to a crucial system update. He trusts me.”

“Trusts you not to fuck in his office?” Nick tugged on her damp hair. “Obviously, he doesn’t know you as well as he thinks.”

“I’m a woman of many surprises.”

“That you are. God, I fucking love you.” He kissed her hard, dragging her against him so he could feel the outline of her full breasts through the towel that barely contained them. “Marry me again. Twice.”

She laughed and nipped his lower lip. “I love you too. Happy Valentine’s day, Nicholas.”