Chapter 4
Lucky
Natalia and I had been together a few weeks when we decided to drive with Paydirt and Anya to the North Charleston Colosseum to watch the South Carolina Stingrays play their inner-state rivals, the Greenville Swamp Rabbits. I’d never been a big hockey fan, but Paydirt lived for that shit and convinced me to tag along. Bringing Anya with us had nothing to do with double dating or trying to set the two up. Natalia had made it clear that she didn’t want to see her cousin with my Neanderthal roommate, but she didn’t want her cousin hanging out alone on a Friday night either.
The night started out bumpy at best when Paydirt insisted we listen to Creedence Clearwater Revival the whole drive. He came equipped with a greatest hit mix he’d put together himself. Natalia wanted to listen to something a little more chill and relaxed.
Of course, I’d offered for Natalia to sit up front with me, but she didn’t want her cousin in the backseat, in the dark, alone with Paydirt. Whether she was more concerned with his actions or hers I’d never know, but she insisted on the arrangement so I was stuck with my roommate sitting next to me.
“I have a headache,” Natalia said. “Can’t we put on something more soothing to the mind?”
It was the first time in our relationship that she was being a bit of a pain. This was, after all, his road trip. I’d invited her because I didn’t like going anywhere without her. With her by my side, I always felt great, but I had to admit she was being kind of a drag this night.
“What the hell, man?” Paydirt shouted. “Who don’t like Lookin’ Out My Backdoor?”
“I don’t care about anyone’s backdoor,” she argued. “Just put something on that allows us to talk to each other at a reasonable volume.”
“Ain’t you a nightclub DJ?” he asked.
“Come on, man,” I said. “It’s not worth arguing about.”
He wasn’t too happy about the chill trance mix I put on for Natalia, but she smiled at me from the back seat and that meant more to me.
You know what they say. A happy wife makes a happy life. If only that were true. She didn’t stay happy for long.
“This is some gay shit,” Paydirt said with a roll of his eyes. “You don’t listen to this kind of crap on the way to a hockey match.”
Natalia and Anya started speaking in Russian. What they were saying, I had no idea, but it sounded angry and spiteful. The words coming out of my woman’s mouth didn’t sound like the sweet stuff she always said to me in English. They both laughed at whatever foreign joke they’d exchanged.
“What are you two giggling about back there?” I asked.
“Shitty music,” Natalia said with a strong accent on the Ts.
For a second, and only a second, I thought of Dandy. She was the crazy chick I told you about. She would have been cool with Creedence. She was cool with everything. But she was also cool with leaving me strange love letters with her fingernail clippings glued to them with cute little phrases like, “I want to nail you later.” Or letters with bird feathers glued to them that said things like, “You clip my wings, baby.” Might not sound so bad, but the bird feathers still had blood on them, as if yanked straight out of an actual bird. Why does God have to make such insane things come in such beautiful packages. She was lovely to look at and wonderful to be with, but to be honest, she scared me too.
At the hockey match, we had great seats, and I was excited. It was nice to get away from the campus for a while. Other than going with Natalia to our motel and sometimes visiting her at the club when she was working, I spent most of my time in the frat house. So, this was great. It was great until, during the halftime show, a girl wearing a jacket unzipped over a very high-cut t-shirt slid past our seats to go to the bathroom. Her belly nearly touched my nose and the girl looked down at me to apologize.
“Yikes,” she said. “Sorry.”
That was the extent of our exchange. Yet, Natalia seemed to hear something entirely different, as if the woman had asked if she could suck my cock for me.
“Bitch,” she said to the woman. “Why don’t you rub your tits on his face again?”
“I’m sorry?” the woman asked.
“Natalia, babe,” I said, surprised by her outburst.
“Babe what?” she asked, whipping her head to the side to stare at me.
“What’s going on with you?” I asked.
“Looks like you two have some stuff to work out,” the other woman said. “Excuse me.”
If that had been all she’d said, things might have ended differently, but as she walked away she muttered, “Immigrant bitch.”
In a flash, Natalia stood up, grabbed the back of her jacket, and yanked her backward. The woman spun around with her fist raised and smashed it against Natalia’s nose. My girlfriend was fast, and violent, and grabbed the woman’s hair, yanked her head down, and rained punches down against her face. The people around us backed away. A drunken guy cheered them on. Paydirt grabbed the other woman and pulled her away while I did the same with Natalia.
“Natalia, what the fuck?!” I yelled.
This wasn’t like her at all. I’d noticed a bit of an attitude coming from her the last few days and she’d asked me about one of the girls who frequented our frat parties, but other than that, things had been fine.
“Come on,” I said as I pulled her out of the colosseum.
When I looked over my shoulder, Paydirt and Anya had decided to stay behind. They seemed to be taking a bit of a liking to each other.
“Ow,” Natalia said. “You’re pulling my wrist too hard.”
I looked back at her and she had blood caked at her nostrils where the woman had punched her. My heart hurt seeing her like that. Jealousy had driven her to do something stupid and it had all been for me.
“Is this guy hurting you?” thundered a deep voice from behind me, in an accent similar to Natalia’s.
Next to him stood another guy. They both wore black cargo pants and black leather jackets. One was bald and the other had a sort of short-cropped mohawk. It was like they’d stepped out of one of Liam Neeson’s Taken movies. I wasn’t ready to tangle with two gigantic foreign tough guys, but it pissed me off that this dude felt the need to approach me like that.
“She’s fine,” I said.
“I’m fine,” Natalia reiterated.
“Are you sure?” the guy asked.
“She said she’s fucking fine,” I said, preparing to punch the guy in the face and then run like a motherfucker if I had to.
“You should calm down,” the second guy told me.
“I appreciate your help,” Natalia told them. “It’s nothing. Only a small argument with my boyfriend.”
Both guys nodded and then walked away toward the colosseum doors.
“What the fuck was that all about?” I asked. “That was weird.”
“They were trying to help a damsel in distress,” she said, lightening up and snickering as she hugged me tight.
She might have been making light of the situation, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the two heavyset men walking away from us. Once they were out of sight I was able to relax some.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Maybe I overreacted.”
“Maybe?” I asked. “You fought a girl in there because she needed to pass me on the way to the bathroom or wherever the hell she needed to go. Probably to get some fucking popcorn.”
She pursed her lips and looked down at the ground, ashamed.
“I love you,” she said, hugging me tight. “And I’m afraid to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me,” I promised. “Never.”
“I see the way you look at other girls,” she said. “You do it all the time.”
“I don’t,” I swore.
I was sure I didn’t.
“I’m afraid you won’t want me anymore,” she said. “You might ditch me like you ditched…”
She didn’t finish the sentence.
“Ditch you like I’ve ditched who?” I asked.
She was quiet for a second and I tried to think of who I’d been with that she might know. I couldn’t think of anyone.
“Like you’ve ditched girls in the past,” she said. “I know your reputation.”
I lifted her face to make her look me in the eyes.
“There’s only you,” I said.
“Then prove it to me.”
Five minutes later, in the backseat of my car, I proved how much I wanted her by burying my cock inside her again. I couldn’t get enough of this woman. I could have had sex for breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Natalia. I craved her and she always gave in to my need. Only this time, as I fucked her, she cried and kept whispering, “I love you.”
When I whispered it back to her she said, “Then come inside me.”
“What?” I asked.
“Take off the condom,” she said. “If you love me, take off the condom and come inside me…and never wear one again.”
Hearing her beg for my naked cock brought me closer to coming, but I couldn’t bring myself to take off the condom. I knew I loved her, but I couldn’t do it. Maybe after we talked about what the consequences…or results could be, sure, but not like this. My silence pissed her off. She slapped my face hard and then pulled herself off my lap.
With teary eyes and a stinging cheek, I moved to the driver’s seat and sat there seething. I would never lay a hand on her, and I hadn’t expected her to lay one on me. After that, she refused to get out of the backseat of the car and when the hockey game was over, it was a long, silent ride home.
Later, I dropped Paydirt off and drove the girls home. Anya went up and left us sitting in the car for a little while.
“Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?” I asked her. “Because I thought we had a pretty good handle on our relationship. As far as I knew, we were good.”
“We were good,” she said.
“Were? Natalia, what’s going on with you? I knew you were in a bad mood earlier when you were arguing with Paydirt over the song selection, but to be honest I thought it had something to do with…you know…I thought you just had your period or something.”
She scoffed.
“So, what is it?” I asked. “You’re mad because I wouldn’t take off the condom?”
“You don’t love me,” she said, and after a long silence she added, “All I wanted was for you to love me like you loved Dandy.”
“Dandy?” I said.
Confusion doesn’t quite explain the mindset I was in. I was fucking baffled. What did she know about Dandy? And why had she brought her up? What the fuck was going on?
“Dandy?” I repeated. “What are you talking about?”
“She told me about you guys,” she said. “She told me all about that time the condom broke and she let you come inside her. She told me how good it felt and how it seemed to solidify your relationship. But I see you don’t want that with me.”
I was stunned. I didn’t know how to respond.
“You don’t have anything to say to me?” she asked.
How did she know Dandy? Why would my ex-girlfriend tell her about what happened between us?
“Nice,” Natalia said as she opened the door and got out.
I hadn’t realized I’d taken so long to respond and I definitely hadn’t intended to hurt her, so I hopped out of the car and raced to her side, meeting her halfway to the door. I threw my arms around her from behind.
“I’m fucking confused,” I said, “but I love you. We can sit down and talk and sort all this…”
“No,” she said as she pulled away from me and walked into her building. “Fuck off.”
For a second, I stood downstairs in silence, trying to make sense of what was going on.
Put yourself in my shoes. You love a woman. You’re crazy about her and want to spend every moment with her. Then she flips her shit one day and suddenly she’s a jealous, raging lunatic who wants you to fuck her without protection, no worries about getting pregnant. Then she mentions an ex-girlfriend you never knew she knew. Was I to be mad or worried about her wellbeing? Was I to apologize or tell her to go fuck herself? I was downright dumbfounded.
By the time I reached the second floor, she’d already entered her room and closed the door. I heard the click from the hallway.
“Babe, please,” I said as I knocked on her door. “Open the door. Let’s talk about this. I really don’t want to say much out here in the hallway.”
“Leave me the fuck alone,” Natalia’s voice came from the other side of the door.
She was right. I needed to leave her alone. We wouldn’t get much accomplished by trying to settle it now. We could talk later.
I’d made it to my car and was about to open the door when I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and the world went black.