Chapter 28
‘Your friend’s here,’ Tom said the following evening when I went to relieve his shift. I followed his gaze to Stewart, sitting at his usual table examining the menu.
‘Again? That’s the third time this week.’
‘He is in more and more these days, isn’t he?’
‘Must be a fan of Deano’s cooking.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Hmm what?’ I demanded. ‘Come on, you’ve got that face on.’
‘Well, who’s that big on medieval cuisine?’ Tom said. ‘We’re a novelty night out, sis. Once a month at best.’
‘What’re you getting at?’
‘Just a theory I’ve got. I’ll tell you another time.’ He nudged me. ‘Take his order then.’
‘Can’t you do it?’
‘Nope.’ Tom yanked his daft feathered hat off. ‘As of right now I’m on my break. Off you go.’
I sighed and made my way to Stewart’s table.
‘So, is it true?’ he asked when I reached him.
‘Is what true?’
‘What Deano told me when I bumped into him this morning.’
My stomach tightened. Not that it wasn’t complete bollocks, obviously, but if Deano had told Stewart I was in love with him… he wouldn’t do that to me, would he? He wasn’t exactly a dab hand at judging the appropriate boundaries of social interaction.
‘Well?’ Stewart said. ‘Did we get it?’
I breathed a sigh of relief. The Tour. It was just the Tour.
‘Yeah, we got it,’ I said. ‘Thanks to one enormous arse.’
‘Six, technically.’
‘I stand by my original statement.’ I flashed him a grudging smile. ‘Still… not that it wasn’t a gamble, but I’m sorry I snapped at you. I was a bit tense yesterday, you probably noticed.’
He looked taken aback. ‘Wait. Did you just admit I was right about something?’
‘Very nearly.’
‘And that consequently, you, Lana Donati, must’ve been – I think the word is, “wrong”?’
‘All right, all right. Don’t gloat or I’ll take it back.’
‘Nuh-uh, no take-backsies. You said it and it’s forever engraved on my heart.’ He patted the seat next to him. ‘Fancy joining me for a bit?’
I sighed. Apart from one elderly couple, he was the only customer. I’d been avoiding him a bit lately, after my heart-to-heart with Sue… still, he did seem inviting when he was being all smiley and funny.
‘Ok, since you did so well flirting with Mrs Santa Claus yesterday,’ I said, sitting down. ‘Five minutes then I have to get back to work.’
‘You’re not really still mad at me, are you?’ he asked with a winning smile.
‘Little bit.’ I grinned. ‘But it was bloody funny.’
‘I am widely acknowledged to be the master of the prop gag.’ He handed me his goblet of wine. ‘Here you go. This’ll get me into your good books.’
I took a sip. I really shouldn’t while I was working, but…
‘Admit it,’ Stewart said. ‘Sometimes you think I’m all right. Sometimes you’re even quite fond of me.’
‘Ok, I admit it,’ I said, smiling. ‘But only sometimes.’
‘Ah, there’s the old Lana. Was starting to think you’d forgotten how to smile.’
‘I smile.’
‘Not as much as you used to,’ he said. ‘What happened to you, kid? When we met you laughed all the time. Now you’re nearly always on edge.’
He reached over to cover my hand.
‘You know what happened to me. A year of caring for a sick man happened. Watching him hurt and not being able to do anything about it. Knowing what was waiting at the end. It… changes you.’
‘I know.’ He sighed. ‘Lana…’
‘Hmm?’
‘I wanted to… I mean, last year. Pagans’ Rock.’
Ugh. And we’d been getting along so well.
‘I told you, forget about it. I have.’
‘Come on. We both know that isn’t true.’
I pulled my fingers away from his touch, annoyed by the self-assurance in his tone.
‘You really think I’ve spent the last year and a bit pining over bloody Stewart McLean?’ I snapped. ‘It was one date, that’s all. Not true love.’
‘No! That’s not what I meant at all.’ He pushed his fingers into his hair. ‘God, you’re hard to talk to when you get like this.’
‘And you don’t half think a lot of yourself.’ I pushed back my chair. ‘I need to get back to work.’
‘Lana, I’m trying to tell you something here. Can you cut the wounded pride act and just listen a sec?’
‘Fine.’ I sat back. ‘One minute then I have to go.’
‘I meant to call you, ok? Honestly.’
‘So you said. But something came up, right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Like the fact I wouldn’t go to bed with you?’
He shook his head. ‘You can’t really think that was it. You know me.’
‘What then? Was it Dad? That I was so committed to his care I might not have time to do the boyfriend thing properly?’
‘What? No! Lana, come on.’ He took my hand again and gave my fingers an impatient squeeze. ‘It was the accident, ok?’
‘It was a year, Stew. Accidents don’t last a year. And I was… there were other things going on that made it worse.’ That was the closest I’d ever come to admitting to him just how much he’d hurt me.
‘I know,’ he said, his head drooping slightly. ‘I was a mess too. Afterwards, I mean.’
His face contorted with a spasm of pain as he went through it again in his memory.
‘What happened?’ I asked in a gentler voice.
‘I was training. Came off my bike going over a cattle grid. Head-first into a puddle.’ He laughed bleakly. ‘It was actually sort of comical, me sitting there with mud all over my face while a puzzled sheep blinked at me. Didn’t realise at the time I’d just ruined my life.’
‘Did it hurt a lot?’
‘That’s the thing. There was a twinge, and I knew I’d twisted my knee, but it wasn’t agony. I even finished my ride. It was only when I saw my physio next day, the look in her eyes, that I realised it was bad. And then she said the words all athletes have nightmares about.’
‘What words?’
‘“This doesn’t look good.” Everyone knows what that means.’ He shook his head. ‘When I found out I had to quit for good… Jesus. The bottom just dropped out of my world.’
His features twitched as he stared down into his wine.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, forgetting about everything except that he was so obviously in pain. I pressed his hand gently. ‘You’ve had a tough time of it, haven’t you?’
‘So’ve you.’
Tom appeared at foot of the stairs, scanning the restaurant for me. I yanked my fingers away from Stewart’s before he noticed.
‘Um, guys,’ Tom said when he reached our table, his voice radiating anxiety. ‘News.’
I frowned. ‘Bad?’
‘Well it’s not good.’ He passed me his mobile.
On screen was our local paper’s website, a new story added that afternoon. The headline was Tour de Farce, emblazoned over a big photo of Stewart’s ridiculous bike racks.
‘I don’t know who sent it but they’ve obviously got it in for us,’ Tom said.
I skimmed the article. ‘Bringing the area into disrepute. Juvenile… oh for fuck’s sake! All that’s missing is “won’t somebody think of the children?”’ My brow lowered. ‘Sienna Edge. Her and her cronies’ll be behind this.’
Stewart took the phone so he could have a read.
‘Hmm. Probably true. She seems to have it in for me particularly.’
I glared at him. ‘I told you it was a stupid thing to do.’
‘Doesn’t matter now though, does it?’ Tom said. ‘Vanessa Christmas liked them, that’s the main thing.’
‘It might matter to the council. You know how they are about bad publicity, and we haven’t got our grant yet.’ I shook my head at Stewart. ‘For God’s sake, Stew! What the hell were you thinking?’
His eyebrows shot up. ‘Me? Ten minutes ago you were saying what a great idea it’d turned out to be!’
‘That was then. This is now.’
‘It’s not my fault, is it?’
‘Yes it’s your fault! You can’t keep going behind the backs of the committee with stuff like this.’
‘Come on, sis, that’s a bit harsh,’ Tom said. ‘It did get us the route.’
‘Let’s just hope it hasn’t cost us our grant, that’s all,’ I muttered darkly. ‘Without the viaduct open in time, we’re screwed.’
‘Lana, please,’ Stewart said. ‘I’m sorry, ok? You know I didn’t mean to – ’
‘You didn’t mean to. Right,’ I snapped. ‘You never mean to do anything, do you, Stew? It just happens. Maybe one day you’ll be a big enough boy to understand actions always have consequences.’ I glanced at the door. ‘Jasmine’s here, I’m taking my break. Tommy, I’ll see you upstairs.’
I went to speak to Jasmine by the counter.
‘I’m knocking off for an hour. Can you handle things down here for a bit?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
I couldn’t help noticing the way she avoided eye contact.
‘Jaz… we’re still friends, aren’t we?’
‘Why wouldn’t we be?’
‘Look, about yesterday, there wasn’t anything – me and Deano were just messing about. I didn’t know you were there.’
‘Clearly. I don’t want to talk about it, ok? I’m going to get changed.’ And she stomped off to the Ladies.
I sighed and headed upstairs, where I found Tom on the sofa. He looked a bit down.
‘Look, there’s no point worrying about the story now,’ I said, plonking myself next to him. ‘I’ll give Andy a ring tomorrow and try to smooth things over. Let’s just hope the council see the funny side.’
‘It’s not that,’ he said, sighing. ‘Man trouble.’
‘God, tell me about it.’
He shot me a look. ‘You and Stew looked like you were getting cosy downstairs.’
‘Till he ruined it with his stupid bums.’
‘You were being a bit unfair then, you know.’
‘He needs to think before he does stuff, that’s all. We’re supposed to be a team, not The Stewart McLean Show.’
‘This isn’t really about those bike racks, is it?’ he asked quietly.
‘Maybe not. Dunno.’
‘Think you’ll ever forgive him?’
‘I’d like to.’ I swallowed, feeling the rise of a sob. ‘I just don’t know if I can trust him. It… hurt, Tommy.’
‘I know it did,’ Tom said gently. He slung an arm round me. ‘We have no luck, do we?’
‘Come on then, tell us your man trouble.’
‘Cam’s mad at me.’
‘What’s up, did you have a row?’
‘Not exactly. He wants me to meet his parents,’ he said with a low groan. ‘I said it was too soon for that so he’s sulking. Says he’s not but I can tell.’
‘Is it too soon or are you just hiding in your comfort zone?’
‘All right, the second one,’ he admitted. ‘I just need to psych myself up a bit first. It’s a big thing, isn’t it? I want them to like me.’
‘Have you told Cam that?’
‘Sort of. I tried to, but… well, you know what I’m like. Words hate me. I probably made it worse.’
I managed a smile. ‘You’re a bit keen on this one, aren’t you, bruv?’
He dropped his gaze. ‘I am. More than keen.’
‘I know.’ I patted his knee. ‘Want me to talk to him for you?’
‘No,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I’m a big lad, I have to fix these things myself. I’ll ask him over while you’re at the dentist’s on Wednesday, have another go at talking it out.’
I winced. With everything that’d been going on, I’d forgotten I was booked in to have my wisdom teeth removed.
‘God, that’s all I need after the last few days, a nice dose of painful dentistry,’ I said. ‘Will you be able to pick me up? The nurse said I could be a bit out of it from the anaesthetic.’
‘Don’t worry, I won’t forget.’ He squeezed my shoulders. ‘We’ll get you home no matter how high you are.’