Chapter
22

Aren’t you coming?” Leif gave Gerd a hopeful look.

She shook her head. “It is better this way.”

He nodded. “I know, someone has to stay here with Onkel Einar.” He looked at Signe. “I’ve never seen a baptism before.”

“That’s ’cause you were the baby.” Knute made a face at him.

“We all wish you were coming, Tante Gerd,” Leif said, ignoring his brother.

“I will have dinner ready.” She glanced toward the bedroom, where Einar had resumed snoring after she had taken him breakfast. “It’s better when he is asleep.”

Signe nodded. They had put the laudanum in his coffee again, anything to keep him from being so restless and angry. She scooped Kirstin up and followed the others out the door.

“What a glorious day,” Nilda said after they were all loaded in the wagon.

Rune clucked the team forward. “Makes it easy to smile.” He pointed out the other farms as they trotted past.

Mrs. Benson met them at the church door. “We haven’t had a baptism here since I do not know when.” She held her arms out to the smiling baby. For a change, Kirstin leaned toward her, her tiny fist planted firmly in her mouth. She kicked her legs. Mrs. Benson kissed her cheek and cuddled her close. “She is growing so fast.”

Mr. Benson joined them, reaching to shake Rune’s hand. Rune introduced him to Nilda and Ivar.

“Glad to have you here in Minnesota,” Mr. Benson said. “I think you’ll find life a bit different here than in Norway.”

“We have already found that to be true, sir,” Ivar said with a smile.

The organ began the prelude, inviting the congregation to the sanctuary. Reverend Skarstead joined them, shaking hands and welcoming the newcomers.

“You have any questions about the ceremony?” He looked at each of them. When they shook their heads, he nodded. “She might cry and fuss a bit, but don’t let that bother you, all right? And you’ll be sitting in the front row.” At their nods, he smiled again.

“We’ll be sitting right behind you.” Mrs. Benson handed Kirstin back to her mor. “And how is Mr. Strand?”

“Up and down.” Signe looked to Nilda, who shrugged.

When the four of them rose to join Reverend Skarstead at the baptismal font, Kirstin sat in her mor’s arms, but when Signe tipped her to her back, she grumbled. When the water was patted onto her head, she screwed up her face and tried to pull away. The third time, she let out a wail that could be heard clear back to the farm. After the blessing, Signe lifted her whimpering daughter to her shoulder. Reverend Skarstead smiled at her and nodded.

After the prayer, they filed back to their seats, and the service continued.

Leif patted his baby sister’s hand and made a face at her that caught her attention and shut off the tears. Signe sucked in a deep breath and jiggled her daughter in her arms. She knew she should not be embarrassed, but what a howl. Some people in the congregation had chuckled a bit, and Mrs. Benson patted her shoulder. Nilda nudged her and smiled, her eyes dancing while she tried not to laugh.

After the closing hymn and the benediction, Signe detected a certain smell. Kirstin definitely needed her diaper changed. “Excuse us.” She made her way down the side aisle and, with Mrs. Benson running interference for her, headed for the women’s room.

“She sure knows how to get attention, doesn’t she?” Mrs. Benson smiled down at Kirstin, who waved her fist at her from the table where Signe had laid her blanket.

“At least it did not happen when she was being baptized.” Signe wiped her daughter clean again and dusted her with talcum. She dug a clean soaker out of her bag and slid it over the diaper. “Now you are set to go, little one.” Kirstin gurgled back at her.

They climbed the stairs back to the narthex, where people were greeting the reverend as they filed out the door. Signe glanced up to catch a venomous glare from one woman and her husband. She tried to smile and nod, but her face refused to cooperate. Nilda nudged her side, having seen the nasty looks as well, and Signe turned to her and just shrugged. One of these days, she would have to sit Mrs. Benson down and learn the whole story behind the hatred she saw in some people. She knew it had to do with Onkel Einar.

“Thank you for bringing your charming baby daughter to us for her baptism.” Reverend Skarstead smiled at Signe and Rune as he shook their hands. “Baptizing babies is one of my favorite parts of being a pastor. I know all of you take very seriously your commitment to raise her in the faith and the church.”

Rune nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

“Did I hear that you are digging a cellar for a new house?”

“Yes, sir, we are.”

“When you are ready to raise the house, some of us will come to help. Mr. Benson will let us know when you are ready.”

Signe watched her husband try to find something to say. Some of the men had come to help dig the cellar, and that had so surprised him. But now this. Even when they had to put up with Einar’s venom.

“Takk, tusen takk.” Rune shook the reverend’s hand again and cleared his throat. “Thank you. I will let him know.”

Reverend Skarstead leaned a bit closer. “Rune Carlson, I want you to understand me. This church is part of God’s family—we all are—and helping each other is part of the family, in spite of past actions or the actions of some people. I believe that is why God stresses the importance of forgiveness.” He nodded. “Perhaps I need to preach and teach more on the subject of forgiveness. But talking about it is easy. It is the living of it that is hard.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

In the wagon going home, Ivar asked, “We going to dig more today?”

“I could help too,” Nilda offered.

Rune nodded, smiling. “Ja, we are, we sure are.”

Signe and Nilda grinned at each other. Kirstin squirmed in Signe’s arms, reaching for Leif and chattering at him.

Gerd had dinner all ready to set on the table when they got home. “I already fed Einar. I think he feels some better today.” She took Kirstin, who was reaching for her. “Did that man pour water on your head, little one? I hope you gave him your most winning smile.” She looked at Signe, who was shaking her head. “She didn’t like it?”

“Ah, not exactly, and she let everyone know her feelings.” Signe glanced at Nilda, who rolled her eyes.

“That she did. Very clearly.” Nilda reached for an apron and tied it around her waist.

Signe suggested, “You might need to change her again, so while you do that, I will put dinner on the table. You boys go change into your work clothes so we can eat and get to digging.”

When they were gathered at the table, Rune bowed his head and waited for the others. “Thank you, Lord, for this baby you have given us. Thank you that we could have her baptized today in a church that is beginning to feel like home. Thank you for bringing us to this country and this place, for Gerd and Einar, and that Nilda and Ivar arrived here safely. Thank you for the house we are building, for work we can do to build a home here. Bless this food and bless this day. Amen.”

Signe sniffed and noticed that Gerd did too. Thank you, Lord, not only for bringing Gerd back but for making her stronger and now such a part of our family. She is more like a grandma to the boys. She paused in her thoughts, heaved a sigh, and added, And thank you for Einar too.

Sometime later, when Kirstin and Gerd were napping, Signe saw that Einar’s eyes were open. “Can I get you anything?” she asked.

“That chair.” He pointed to the chair Gerd had sat in so often when Signe was working to get her stronger.

“Of course.” When she added, “Be glad to,” she surprised even herself. She set the chair beside the bed. “I could help you.”

His glare told her what he thought of that idea.

“Would you like some coffee and cake when you are seated?” She knew his growl meant yes, so she chose to leave the room rather than argue. She returned with a tray for the coffee and spice cake Gerd had baked in honor of the baptismal day. A fork lay beside the cake.

Einar’s hand shook so severely that he almost dropped it until he grasped it with both hands. His right hand seemed so much weaker than the left. Wishing she had watched him move to the chair, she started to ask about the weakness, but his glare sent her out of the room instead.

What a mean, nasty person. Served him right.

And is he not one of My children?

Signe almost looked to see if someone else was in the kitchen, the voice had seemed so clear. Her sigh seemed to come from her ankles. I guess. I don’t think I can forgive him. She thought a moment. But do I want to? She had to sit down. Be honest, her reasonable side whispered.

Lord, how do I forgive him when he keeps hurting those I love, let alone me? And now this, all because he is so sure he knows everything better than anyone else. And we all must pay for his stubbornness.

Silence can be very uncomfortable.

An even deeper sigh inched its way up, followed by a tear. Does it make any sense to say I am trying? Right now she wished Reverend Skarstead were here to answer her questions. Telling Einar that she forgave him would make him . . . She stopped to think. He would yell at her and wake Gerd and Kirstin. Or he would just glare at her, which always made her feel nailed to the wall. Or . . . ? A mental image of him lunging at her made her shiver.

Was she afraid of Einar Strand? Another question that stopped her mid-thought.

Ja. Ja, she was. If his temper got out of control . . . Reminders of the winter fiasco made her shudder again. And always, his actions either wounded or made life harder for the others. Especially Gerd. Even though she would get furious with him, he was her husband, and even if she didn’t love him now, she had at one time. Then again, had she, or was this a marriage of convenience that was still that?

Signe rubbed her forehead. Was she getting a headache from all this thinking? All over forgiveness. Something she should be able to just do.

A crash from the bedroom jerked her to her feet. An expletive made her stop at the door. Einar had not fallen. The tray lay on the floor, leftover coffee spreading over the painted floorboards. Kirstin set up a howl, jerked awake by the noise.

“What happened? Is Kirstin all right?” Gerd was heading for the baby before she was fully awake, and she had to pause to get her balance.

Signe caught her before she hit the floor. Once Gerd was steady, Signe patted her arm, and Gerd headed for Kirstin.

Einar yelled at Signe and pointed at the tray.

Instead of forgiving, Signe exploded. Without thinking, praying, or breathing, Signe stomped to a stop just out of Einar’s reach. “If you would think about someone other than yourself for a change, then life—”

She stopped. She did not pick up his tray. She did not offer to help him.

She left the room, left his roaring, and slammed the door shut behind her. Gritting her teeth, she nodded at Gerd, who already had Kirstin comforted, and shoved open the screen door, ignoring the slam of it behind her. At the garden she picked up a hoe and attacked the weeds between the hills of already sprouting potatoes. She chopped at the ground until forced to catch her breath.

Somehow the thought of using the hoe on Einar made her sad as the anger had seeped out of her sometime in the hoeing. Lord, you asked me to forgive that man, and here I wanted to wound him, to pay him back. She wiped away the tears she’d not even been aware of. How could such a wonderful, special day sink to this so easily?