Elissa Cerdi believed in love at first sight, happily-ever-after, and the goodness that lived in everyone. Some called her naïve, impractical, even foolish for guarding her beliefs, but she knew what she knew and what she wanted. She’d witnessed her parents’ marriage—the love and respect they shared for one another—and had vowed she’d settle for nothing less. People who didn’t think true love possible were the naïve ones, or maybe they’d lost the ability to hope. Elissa refused to give up hope because if you didn’t have hope, what did you have?

As for finding goodness in others, had she not discovered it in Mrs. Blacksworth when the poor woman’s family deserted her? Accused her of horrible deeds the woman could not have committed? How could an only daughter reject her mother, especially one who was dying? Christine hadn’t known of Mrs. Blacksworth’s illness; that had fallen on Elissa, a weight she’d gladly carried. When the money and fancy lifestyle were stripped away, what else was left but the desire to not die alone, to leave this world with grace and dignity?

Mrs. Blacksworth had not died alone or without the grace and dignity she so rightly deserved. Elissa would like to think she’d eased the woman’s passing. Yes, her employer had demanded she accept a substantial amount of money for the final-wishes favor she wanted Elissa to execute once she was gone. There’d been no need for extra money; Mrs. Blacksworth had paid her well and Elissa would have performed the final-wish favor—deliver the remaining letters from the notebook—without an extra penny. It was the right thing to do in honor of a friend, and Mrs. Gloria Blacksworth had indeed been a friend, a sad one with a broken heart.

Could the family not have understood that the harshness in the woman’s words were born of disillusion and heartache rather than cruelty and a desire for vengeance? There was one more letter to deliver and then Elissa would have fulfilled Mrs. Blacksworth’s last wishes. She offered a quick prayer for the woman who’d stopped believing in joy and hope long before she drew her last breath. “Holy Mother, I pray Mrs. Blacksworth has found peace and knows the joy and hope that lives in all of us. May you keep us in your prayers and guide us always. Amen.” One quick sign of the cross, followed by, “And bless your children, Elissa and Zachary, as they plan their future. Thank you, Oh Holy Mother. Amen.”

Prayer helped her stay focused on what mattered in life, like the people she loved. Like Zachary Wintstone. Next week, they’d announce their love and intentions to the rest of the world in a small engagement party at The Presidio. Zachary’s parents dined at the upscale restaurant several times a week, and he’d told her they’d insisted the gathering be held there. Elissa would have agreed to anything as long as the man she loved was by her side. She sighed, opened the door to the lobby of the apartment where he lived. Once they married, she’d pack up the tiny place she rented on the other side of town and move in with him. Once she married…

How lucky could one girl be? Zachary Wintstone was handsome. Brilliant. A wonder boy with computers and the world of technology. They’d met in a coffee shop nine months ago. The connection was instant, fierce, all-consuming—just like she knew it would be. Her mother had maintained when the right one came along, Elissa would fall hard and give her whole heart to the man. She’d been right about that, but then, her mother knew about relationships and life.

If only she’d been more open-minded about Mrs. Blacksworth. Why were people with money so often misunderstood and misjudged?

Elissa walked across the lobby, pressed the elevator button, and waited for the ding that would take her to the eighth floor and her future home. Zachary’s place had the little extras that welcomed visitors, made them feel at home: the overstuffed pillows, the cylindrical vases stuffed with silk daisies, the bowl of fruit on the kitchen table…even the selection of hand soaps showed a personal touch—so like her fiancé. She smiled at the thought of shopping with him, selecting picture frames for their wedding photos and, later, those of their children. The smile spread when a woman with a baby stroller entered the building. Model-beautiful with long black hair and a body that didn’t look like it had seen pregnancy. Was she the mother? When the woman reached the elevator, Elissa peeked inside the stroller, took in the black curls and pink skin of the baby. “Girl or boy?”

The woman’s green eyes softened, her voice a rush of wonder. “A boy.”

Only a mother had that particular glow and spoke with such reverence. Elissa had witnessed it in her own mother when the youngest child was born. One day, she would know such a feeling. “What’s his name?”

“Christopher.” Another rush of emotion swirled through the woman’s voice. “He’ll be three months old next week.”

“He’s beautiful.” She and Zachary wanted two children, a girl and a boy, the order didn’t matter, and the gender didn’t either, not really. A healthy baby was all she needed. Elissa studied the newborn, thought of the good fortune and love the child’s parents must share.

“Thank you.” The woman beamed, growing more beautiful, if that were possible. “He’s our own little miracle baby.” She pushed aside a lock of dark hair, her eyes misting. “Placenta previa at twelve weeks. We almost lost him. But God and mountains of prayers saw him through.” A sniff, a tear swipe, followed by a quick sign of the cross and a glance at Elissa. “Do you have children?”

The elevator dinged open, giving Elissa an extra two seconds to compose herself as the impact of the woman’s words hit her. Placenta previa. Miracle baby. It took brave people to venture into parenthood, to risk the love and loss of a child. She cleared her throat and said, “We’ve got a few things to settle before we start a family.” Like an engagement party, a wedding, and a honeymoon. Elissa held the door open for the woman to maneuver the stroller into the elevator and pressed the button for the eighth floor. “Which floor?”

“Eight, please.” A smile spread over the woman’s full lips, brought out the dimple on the left side of her cheek. “Children will change your life. You’ll never look at your partner or the world the same way again.” She met Elissa’s gaze, held it. “You’ll see.”

“I hope so.” Elissa glanced at the baby. “You certainly don’t look like you’ve just had a baby.” She let out a soft laugh. “I don’t even want to think about what I’ll look like.” Another laugh, followed by a sigh. “My mother says everybody thought she was carrying triplets when she was pregnant with me. That’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“It’s all worth it.”

“I know.” The truth was, she’d face stretch marks, spider veins, heartburn, and whatever else maternity threw her way for a chance to be a mother. One day soon, she and Zachary would sit down and talk about a timeline for parenthood. After all, if you didn’t have a game plan, how were you going to get anything accomplished? Zachary claimed she was too focused on fitting life into a schedule, that most times life had to be lived, not controlled. But why couldn’t a person live a controlled life? There was nothing wrong with spontaneity, and she subscribed to it every now and again, but she didn’t want her existence to be determined by the sun, the stars, and the direction of the wind. Or whatever. She liked order. She needed routine. No surprises, at least not the ones that upended a person’s day-to-day existence and spiraled them into a universe that had no center and no direction.

The elevator dinged for the eighth floor, and Elissa held the door open. The woman pushed the stroller onto the plush carpet and waited for Elissa to join her. “Do you live here or are you visiting?”

Now that was a matter of opinion and interpretation. “My fiancé lives here, but I’ll move in once we’re married.”

“Really?” The woman’s face lit up. “Mine, too.” She hesitated, her cheeks turning a dull rose. “I’ve only been in Chicago a little while. I’m from Seattle, but when I found out I was pregnant, he wanted me closer. I’ve got a place a few miles away, but I’m moving in with him soon.”

“Congratulations.” There was something about this woman that drew Elissa to her, made her want to get to know her better, call her a friend. She didn’t seem to know or care that she was beautiful or that others would no doubt stop and stare. That made her more human, and that made Elissa curious. “Maybe once we’re settled, we could all get together. I’ll fix dinner and you could bring your fiancé and the baby. There’s plenty of room.”

“I’d like that. Thank you.” She held out her hand, “I’m Julia.”

Elissa shook it. “Elissa.”

“Nice to meet you, Elissa. I look forward to meeting your fiancé.”

“Same here.” Would the man be as gorgeous as she was? Probably. Wasn’t that always how it worked? The beautiful people attracted the beautiful people, but if he were as unaware of his attractiveness as Julia was of hers, then he was a rare find. Zachary called Elissa beautiful, but he was blindsided by love because her nose was too long, her cheeks too full, her eyes too far apart, and, of course, what woman didn’t think her butt was too big? Only those who thought it was too small, and the universe didn’t have many of that type running around. If Zachary analyzed her with the skill he used in his work, he’d notice all her flaws. But he said Elissa’s physical appearance was a weak imitation compared to the beauty that rested inside—in her heart, in her soul. Every single time he told her this, she cried.

Julia raised a hand and said, “Until we meet again.” Elissa watched as she strolled down the hall, paused seven doors down, pulled out a key and fitted it into the lock. Seconds later, she and Christopher disappeared inside Zachary’s apartment.

* * *

There comes a time in a woman’s life when she knows the man she loves is lying to her, even as she’s hoping with her whole heart that she’s wrong. But deep down, she knows she isn’t wrong, knows the half-baked stories he’s feeding her that make no sense are full of untruths. She can close her eyes and pretend, or she can face the truth and confront him.

Love. What a sad joke.

She’d had so many plans, each one grander and more intricate than the last, all built around hopes and dreams. Elissa had spent the last several hours with timelines and spreadsheets, dropping in dates and events. The date she met Zachary in the coffee shop, the first dinner…the first time they made love. How had any of this been possible? How had she not known another woman was carrying his child? When he’d said he had a meeting in Seattle, was he visiting Julia? Maybe they’d had a quiet dinner and spent the night together. Anything was possible. Who knew? Who really knew?

Nobody.

Julia said she had a fiancé. That was another level of incredible. There’d been no reason for her to lie…and there’d been every reason for Zachary to do so. Had he proposed to Julia when he found out she was pregnant? Or had that come later, maybe after the birth? Maybe he’d gotten a two-for-one deal on engagement rings and proposed back to back? Why not? Sure, why not? There were so many possibilities and Elissa had suffered through most of them. All she wanted now was to disappear so she’d never have to speak to or about Zachary Wintstone again.

But the Cerdis were made of stronger stuff. Had Great-Grandma Antoinette Cerdi not immigrated with three small children only to lose her husband to pneumonia the next winter? And had that same woman not kept her family fed by gardening, baking bread, and making her own pasta? She’d mended their clothing, accepted hand-me-downs from the neighbors, and never uttered a word of despair. If Great-Grandma Cerdi could stand strong amidst such heartache and grief, then Elissa could do the same…eventually…after she buried her dreams of happily-ever-after and acknowledged that she’d chosen a liar to share her life and her heart.

Of course, Zachary wouldn’t see it that way. He’d have a tale, just like all the ones he’d been telling her the past year, and if she let herself, she might believe him. Oh, she wanted to turn back the hours to a time when she did believe him, when she didn’t know what she knew in her heart. But then what? Let the lies ruin her? The second the beautiful Julia entered Zachary’s apartment, Elissa sensed the truth; Julia was Zachary’s fiancée, too, and Christopher was his baby.

As she lay curled in bed that night, a cold pack pressed to her forehead, her body damp, her stomach raw from emptying it, she knew what Mrs. Blacksworth must have felt like when she learned of her husband’s secret life. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Blacksworth. So sorry you had to go through that. For twenty-four hours, she ignored Zachary’s phone calls and text messages. As the messages grew more frequent, the tone bordered on panic.

Elissa, call me. Where are you? I’m worried about you.

Hey. It’s me. I had to go out of town, but I’ll be back in the morning. Call me. Pause. I miss you. Longer pause. We’ve got to talk about the engagement party. Just call me.

There were five more messages, each more urgent than the last.

I called your parents’ house and left a message, but I haven’t heard from them. I know how your mom hates missing a phone call, so now I’m really getting worried. Where are you?

And then, Your sister sent me a text and called me a bastard, said she hoped I burned in hell. What’s she talking about? Why would she say that? Elissa?

Oh, there’d been a lot of panic in that last message. Almost as if he knew she’d figured out his deep, dark secret, but Zachary wasn’t one to divulge more than he had to until it was necessary. That’s how he’d been able to wheel and deal in the corporate world and hold out for the best offer. He’d once told her he could poker-face it and threaten to walk away, actually walk away, and they’d always call him back and agree to his terms. Always. The way he’d said this made her think he liked toying with people’s emotions to see how far he could get and how much he could get. Is that what he’d done with Elissa and Julia? Pushed them both to see how far he could get? Well, he’d ended up with two fiancées and a baby.

How could she have been such a fool? Two months ago, when her mother asked why Elissa still hadn’t met his parents, she’d found ten reasons, all of them believable, especially to her. But the real reason was probably the most unbelievable and yet most obvious. Zachary already had a fiancée and it wasn’t Elissa. She’d been so head-over-heels for him that she hadn’t questioned or complained about his demand for space, attributing his need for time alone to do his work and the brilliance of that mind she loved so much.

Except the mind she’d loved with such fierceness hadn’t been inventing or contemplating anything in the computer world. No, that mind had been inventing more lies and contemplating ways to cheat on two women. How had he done it so well and for so long?

Why did he have to pull her in and make her believe he cared? Her parents wanted her to call Father Patrick for guidance. Her little sister wanted to find someone to “beat the crap out of him.” Elissa wasn’t going to let someone else confront the man who’d ruined her life and her belief in happily-ever-after, because one day soon she would handle him herself.

That day came two hours after Zachary’s last message, the one that said he’d just landed at the airport and was on his way to her apartment. She showered, tossed on jeans and a T-shirt, and pulled her hair in a ponytail.

She’d always looked forward to spending time with her fiancé, anticipated his arrival with such eagerness that in retrospect, it was sickening. How easy it must have been to play with her emotions, as though she didn’t matter, as though he could do anything and she’d believe him. Which she did…all the way up to the second where she’d watched Julia and her baby enter his apartment.

Now, everything had changed. Elissa’s heart no longer beat for the man who’d promised her love and happiness until they drew their last breath. That heart was bruised, tattered, cold. Empty.

When the doorbell rang, she made her way to the front door, opened it. Zachary Wintstone faced her, his lean runner’s body dressed in slacks and a sweater, mouth firm, brown eyes serious. He looked exactly as he had the last time she saw him. Elissa narrowed her gaze, tried to detect a crack in the facade that might let her see his other life—his other family. Same dark curls that reminded her of Julia’s baby, same serious expression, same stance. Same everything.

If she hadn’t decided to surprise him with a visit the other day, how long would it have been before she found out about Julia and Christopher? After the wedding? After their first child? Or would life have continued for years, as it had with Mrs. Blacksworth, until one day the truth leaked out and her world landed on top of her?

“Elissa. Do you know how worried I’ve been?” Zachary stepped inside, reached for her, but she stepped back.

“Don’t.”

“What’s wrong?” His voice spilled concern. “You look sick. Why didn’t you answer my calls? Talk to me. You know you can always talk to me.”

A few days ago, she’d believed he was her everything, believed they would grow old together. “I will always wonder if the lies started before or after you met me.”

“What are you talking about?” Confusion and what looked like fear clouded his dark eyes.

She clasped her hands together, planted her feet in a stance that said she could land a solid punch to his jaw if provoked. “If everything about us was built around a lie; can you at least give me a few minutes of truth? I know about Julia.” She paused, gauged his reaction: a mix of shock and disbelief. “And Christopher.” A decent guy would own up to the subterfuge, apologize, and call it quits. But then, a decent guy wouldn’t play house with one woman and have a baby with another. She spotted the exact second his expression changed and the next words out of his mouth weren’t warm and fuzzy or apologetic. They were harsh and accusing despite the softness in his tone.

“Were you spying on me?”

“Spying? Of course not. I wanted to surprise you. I thought I’d stop over so we could talk about the party.” The engagement party for the wedding that was supposed to mark the beginning of the rest of our lives.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” His voice was so quiet, so unaffected. “We had an understanding.”

“An understanding? What, I stay away from your apartment so you can play house with another woman? You told me you needed to think, that you required hours and hours of quiet so you could work on your projects. I believed you.” Elissa swiped both hands across her cheeks. Damn tears. “I did the math. We must have just started dating when Julia found out she was pregnant. Why didn’t you tell me then? Did I not deserve to know? Or, did you think you could have both of us? Two separate families and neither of us knowing about the other?” The tears streamed down her cheeks to her chin, onto her chest. “Damn you, Zachary, did you think so little of me that you thought I didn’t deserve the truth?”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t tell you because…I couldn’t let you go. I love you, Elissa, love you so much it hurts.”

She swiped at her face again, blinked hard. “Do not say that.”

“But it’s true. I love you. You, Elissa Cerdi, and it’s you I want to marry.” He dragged a hand through his hair, sighed. “Julia and I were together before I met you; nothing serious, just a few laughs and a drink or two.”

“I think it was a little more than laughs and drinks.”

His jaw tensed but he remained calm. “Okay, we had a thing, but when I headed home after the conference, we were done. I didn’t hear from her again until after you and I were getting serious…that’s when she told me she was pregnant. I wanted to tell you, and I kept trying to find a time, but I was so damn worried I’d lose you…”

“So you proposed instead?”

“That’s not why I proposed.” His dark eyes softened. “I proposed because I loved you. And I still do.” He moved toward her. “Julia’s a great person and I love my son, but she’s not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with…that person is you.”

When he talked like that it was hard to tell if he were lying or if he meant what he said. “She called you her fiancé.”

Those lips she’d kissed so many times pulled into a gentle smile. “Saying it and wishing it doesn’t make it true. She wanted a life with me, but that wasn’t going to happen. Do you know why?” His smile deepened. “Because I wanted a life with you; the whole ‘happily-ever-after,’ babies, and suburbs. With you, Elissa, nobody else.”

He sounded so convincing, so honest. A tiny piece of her believed him. “Why did she have a key to your apartment?” If he could answer that and it made sense…

“She said that was the only way I could see Christopher.” The dip in his voice pierced her heart. “He’s my child, and no matter how he got here, I love him. I had to do whatever it took to see him and I couldn’t tell you, not yet. I’m sorry, but I was so damn afraid of losing you.”

There were tears in his eyes, pain in his voice. She inched out her next words. “Have you been sleeping with her?”

“No! God, no.”

He answered so quickly and with such force, how could she not believe him? And yet, he’d looked away, just for a second, as if gathering his thoughts or maybe hiding something he didn’t want her to see. Like the rest of the truth? Could she live her life wondering what he was doing when he wasn’t with her? Would she be one of those women who resorted to checking his phone and computer for signs of…what? Another woman? Another life? Would she end up like Gloria Blacksworth, estranged from her family, spending her final days with hired help because she’d refused to confront the truth?

Maybe Zachary was in some bizarre way a victim of bad timing and bad choices. But he’d kept it all a secret, living a lie that included another woman and a baby.

“Elissa, baby…I know you have a lot of questions, and I know you’re hurt.” His voice cracked. “Whatever you want to know, all you have to do is ask. Okay? Anything. I don’t want to lose you.” He paused, touched her cheek. “I love you.”

Those three words gave her the answer she needed. I love you. Had he spoken those same words to Julia? Only a fool would believe he hadn’t, and only a fool would believe he wasn’t lying to her right now. She’d spent her whole life believing in the goodness of others, trusting them to do right, refusing to acknowledge the dark side of human nature.

And look what had happened? She’d believed everything her fiancé told her, no questions, no suspicions, nothing but blind trust and belief in that damn goodness…

“Elissa? I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

Now he would tell her about his double life?

Now he would tell her the other woman was a mistake and the baby was a consequence of that mistake?

Now he would tell her that if she only gave him a chance, he’d worship her, cherish her, never, ever give her reason to doubt him again? He’d earn her trust back and spend the rest of his days proving he loved her.

He would make her happy.

If she only gave him a chance.

Maybe the words would hold true, or maybe they would only be true the moments before and after he spoke them. Maybe when he walked out the door, he would return to his old life, his other life.

Who could say? Certainly, she couldn’t, but what she could say and what she knew deep in her soul was that she couldn’t trust him, not anymore. If she couldn’t trust him, what future did they have?

None.

She knew that, even as she motioned him into the living room, sat in the rocker her parents had given her when she moved into the apartment, and eased the look-alike notebook she’d created to mimic Mrs. Blacksworth’s from the end table. There was pain and sadness in this book, and so much torment. Was it not fitting that Elissa should add her own pain to these pages? She grabbed a pen, opened the notebook to a blank page, and said, “Start talking.”

Two hours and twenty-three minutes later, Zachary finished his tale. There were tears with the telling, gasps and long sighs accompanied by folded hands, soft pleas, and a prayer or two. Elissa observed and jotted down his words like a stenographer in a courtroom, emotion removed. She tried to focus on the details as she wrote: the sound of his voice, the gestures, the pauses. It was as much what he did not say as what he said that mattered. Later, she would piece it all together as she and her mother had when they’d set out quilting squares for a comforter. Once the pieces were in place, she would look for patterns in his words that contained truths and nontruths. The smallest details, when stitched together, often carried the greatest significance.

The outcome didn’t matter. Zachary had destroyed their chances of a happily-ever-after the second he began keeping secrets, secrets that supported lies…lies that ruined her belief that love and goodness prevailed…that if you loved someone, it would be enough…that if you led a good life, then fortune would guide you to happiness…

Lies, all of them.

“Elissa?”

She blinked hard, tried to focus as he crossed the room and knelt beside her. When had he started looking so pathetic, so guilty? How had she never noticed this before? Because she’d never looked, never believed there was a reason to doubt.

“Is there more, Zachary?” Do not let there be more than this. How much more could there be than his admission that he and Julia shared a child, that he’d struggled these many months with a way to tell Elissa the truth? “If you have any hopes of a life together, you’d better make sure you’ve told me everything.” Look at her, telling her own lies. Hell could freeze over ten times before she’d give him another chance. Still, her words might pull the truth from him.

He placed a hand on her arm, his gaze intense. There’d been a time when she’d gotten lost in that look. “I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

That sounded like a confession without the confession. “Tell me.” There was more.

A shrug, a sigh, and then, “I might have left out a few details about my relationship with Julia.”

“Details?” She forced her breathing to remain even, her voice calm.

The man who’d broken her heart and was now ripping it apart with details continued. “I might have been intimate with her a few times after…after you and I met.”

Did he think using a word like intimate didn’t sound as bad as sex? Like in some way, it was less hurtful? “So, you were having sex with both of us.”

“Elissa—”

“Is that everything?” Dear God, what else could there be?

He looked away, lowered his voice. “I’m only telling you this because I don’t want any more lies between us, okay? You’re the one I love, the one I want to marry.” Pause. “You are my heart, Elissa Cerdi, my soul.”

She pushed aside the words that had once stolen her breath. What were words without meaning behind them? “Tell me the rest, Zachary. Tell me all of it.”

Tears shimmered in his dark eyes, slid down his cheeks. “Julia’s pregnant again.”