“I need advice.”

“Well hello to you, too,” Warren laughed, his voice crackling ever so slightly through the phone connection.  “You’re lucky: I just got Teddy to sleep, Shaun is passed out cold, and I’m desperate for human interaction.  Whatever your gossip is, it’d better be good.”

Relieved that Warren was willing to talk, I took a sip of coffee and leaned back in my chair as I tried to gather my thoughts.  Warren had been my best friend from elementary school all the way through high school, and he was one of the only ones I bothered keeping in contact with now that all those years were behind us.  He had a newborn baby at home, though, which was making it tricky to find a time that both of us could talk.  I almost hadn’t called him, not wanting to bother him; I’d pulled up his number in my phone and then sat and stared at it for five straight minutes as I tried to decide whether I should talk to someone or just keep my insane thoughts to myself.  But the side of my finger had hit the call button when I went to put my phone to sleep, and then it was ringing, and then Warren answered and it was too late.

“How is the little rascal?” I asked, deliberately delaying.

Doubtless Warren knew exactly what I was doing, but he was more than happy to talk about his son.  Despite the fact that he was also an alpha, the two of us had joked on more than one occasion over the last few years that we should get married just to throw our parents for a loop. His parents had been pressuring him into marriage just as much as mine did, yet our joke always ended with Warren loudly claiming that he would never settle down.  You’d never know that looking at him now; he was madly in love with both his omega and his child.  Even his parents had come around to the pair; Warren proudly claimed that it was because Teddy was far too cute for anyone to dislike him or his father.

Sometimes, when I saw the pictures or videos Warren posted on his social media, it was hard not to be a little jealous… though that wasn’t why I’d called.

“He’s great!  Would you believe he’s four months old tomorrow?” Warren exclaimed.

“No way!  I’m pretty sure I just saw him the other day, and that was at six weeks.”

Warren laughed.  “Right?  And he smiles all the time.  Like, all the time.  Poor Shauny’s down with a cold, though, so I’m taking some time off work to help.”

“Well, that explains why you’re not at work right now…”

“It does.  But you called me for a reason, so spill,” Warren demanded. “Unless it’s to say that you’re finally taking me up on my offer to get the fuck out of NYC and come work with me?”

“No…”

“Then what is it?”

Sighing, I took another sip of my drink and stared around the coffee shop without really looking at anything in particular.  There was no way in hell I was going to have this conversation at home where someone might overhear, even though I was now surrounded by strangers whom I hoped were too occupied with their own business to be eavesdropping on mine.  

Taking a deep breath, I finally started talking. 

“Well… My brother came home for the holidays… and brought an omega with him.”

“Oh?” Warren asked, voice carefully neutral.

“A very pregnant omega.  Chris.”

There was a pause as Warren no doubt tried to figure out what the issue was.  “Okay… feeling the itch to settle down yourself or something?  We all know how quickly it hit me.”  He barked out a laugh, but there was still a cautious note to it… and I had the feeling that Warren knew exactly where I was going with all this, even though I hadn’t admitted it out loud yet.

I licked my lips and fiddled idly with the lid of my coffee cup, trying to work up the nerve to admit out loud that I liked Chris more than I had any right to, to the point that I questioned my sanity on an hourly basis. 

I’d tried so hard to stay away from him after that first day, and it had worked… for a while.  Running helped clear my head, since I had to focus on not slipping and killing myself on the slush-covered ground, and the two of us really only saw each other during the evening meals my mother insisted on.  Those were an entirely different sort of minefield, one in which I tried my hardest to ensure remained civil.

But then I hadn’t been able to sleep and had wandered downstairs in the middle of the night to nab a couple sips of whiskey in the hopes it would help relax me enough to fall asleep. Only instead of raiding the family’s liquor stores, I’d sat down and stared at nothing in the darkness… and then the very man who filled my mind with such turmoil came strolling into the kitchen, too.  Less than three minutes into our conversation I’d forgotten my resolve to keep my distance from him, and we’d sat up talking until dawn.

Then had lunch together the next day.

Then spent the entire day together yesterday, lounging on a couch together in the living room as we mocked the ridiculously low-budget holiday shows and movies that were on during the day.  I hadn’t even known that there was such a thing as Christmas-themed kidnapping movies, yet we were treated to not just one but two before mutually deciding that neither of us had any particular interest in watching the next one on, A Christmas Stranger.  Then we’d spent the next hour coming up with the plot of our own ridiculous Christmas horror movie, which culminated in the charming-but-dangerous villain being electrocuted by a string of multicolored Christmas lights before being squished under a three-story tall Christmas tree that the heroine of the story managed to knock down just in time to save her life.

All in all, it had been a great day, and not even dinner with my mother that night could spoil my good mood.

Because I could have spent the rest of my life on that couch with Chris, dreaming up crazy holiday movie ideas and hearing his bright laughter fill the room.

“You’re trying to avoid answering again,” Warren grumbled.  “Just say it.”

“Did you know?” I asked instead.  “When you met Shaun, I mean.  Did you know?” 

There was a long, weighted pause, so lengthy that I pulled my phone away from my ear and glanced at it to make sure the call was still going.  “…Warren?”

“Just trying to decide if I need to say what I should tell you, or the truth,” my friend said hesitantly.

Even though I knew it was a bad idea, there was only one answer I wanted to hear.  “The truth.”

Warren sighed.  “Yes,” he admitted.  “Not the very second we met, but… fast.  Way faster than I ever thought could be possible.  It was like a magnet kept drawing us together; we clicked right away, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn’t.”

“…I knew I should have told you to lie to me.”  I ran a hand over my face, groaning.  That was probably the worst answer I could have gotten, because Warren was so in love with his husband that he would have found a way to steal the moon out of the damn sky if it would make Shaun happy; if Warren had told me that it took a while for him to fall for him, then I would have known that I was just imagining whatever it was I felt for Chris.

It wasn’t love.

Yet.

Or maybe it was.

Chris was bright and funny and sexy even when I suspected from his constant jokes at his own expense that sexy was the last thing he felt when he was just a few weeks away from giving birth.  He was everything my brother didn’t deserve.  All it took was a single whiff of his scent for me to know down to my bones that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making sure that all Chris ever did was smile and laugh.

“Seriously, man?” Warren demanded.  “Of all people, your brother’s boyfriend?  Fiancé? Whatever.”

“I know,” I groaned.

“He’s having your brother’s baby, Riley.  You can’t get in the middle of this.  If Ethan actually brought him to spend Christmas with your parents, then it’s obviously serious and they’re happy together.  I know you; you’d hate yourself forever if you let your dick talk you into breaking up a happy relationship.”

“That’s just it, though,” I cut in, loudly enough to draw a curious glance from the woman sitting at the table next to me.  I flashed her a polite smile that clearly said this was none of her business, then angled myself away from her slightly.  “They’re not happy—at least, I’m almost sure they’re not.  I thought so at first, too, because you’re right—why else would Ethan bring Chris home?  But Chris made some little comments that made me start doubting it, and Ethan hasn’t marked him. Not even temporarily.”

“You have no real idea, though,” Warren protested, ever the voice of wisdom.

“They don’t sleep in the same room.  I haven’t even seen them kiss since Chris got here, and that was a week ago now—I don’t think I’ve even seen them touch. Ethan definitely doesn’t stand up for Chris when our parents start pulling their shit, and you know how they can be when they don’t approve.  I’ve never been like this with anyone else, Warren, you know that—even back in high school when Ethan dated the omega I had a crush on just to be a dick.”

“That’s true, but…”  Warren paused to sigh, and his voice was stern when he spoke again.  “That doesn’t matter.  Your brother’s having a baby with this omega.  Don’t try and tell me you’re not jealous about that.”

I let my eyes fall closed and nodded, though Warren obviously couldn’t see me through the phone.  Warren was probably the only person in the world who knew how much I had struggled all my life in my brother’s shadow.  Ethan could do no wrong, whereas it seemed like I was never, ever good enough for my father.  It was exhausting to be measured up against someone all the time, especially when they were your brother. 

And, yeah, I was jealous—so jealous it took my breath away every time I stopped to think about it.  If it was true that Chris and Ethan weren’t happy together, then all it did was make me even more certain that my brother didn’t deserve Chris.

“You know what you’re going to do tonight?” Warren asked suddenly.

“…What?”

“You’re going to go get laid.”

“That’s not—”

If he’d been there in person, I knew exactly the sort of look Warren would have been giving me.  As it was, with him four hours away up in Maine, I had to settle for three seconds of disapproving silence as he glared at his phone, instead.  “Don’t try and bullshit me and tell me you uninstalled that hookup app we used to use, because I know you haven’t.  Open it and find a willing omega to get your rocks off with.  I suspect things at home will look a little different once you’re not so horny you can’t see straight.”

“No one uses that app anymore,” I protested.

The sound of Warren rolling his eyes was practically audible.  “Then install whatever everyone does use these days.  I’m not joking, Riley.  So maybe you’re attracted to Chris, or whatever.  But that’s all it is: attraction.  Go fuck someone else as many times as it takes for you to get over this omega, because he’s not going anywhere—if he’s having your brother’s child, then that makes him part of the family.  So find a way to start thinking with your brain, instead of what’s in your pants.”

I drummed my fingers loudly on the table, thinking.  I didn’t think that all I felt for Chris was lust, but… was Warren right in saying that was really all it was?  It was true that I hadn’t dated anyone in a while, much less hooked up with anyone.  Maybe no strings attached sex was exactly what I needed to help me get my head back on straight again.  

“Well?” Warren demanded.

“Fine,” I agreed, albeit grudgingly.

“Good.  Now, when are you going to come up here and see my adorable as fuck baby again?”

We chatted for a while longer, mostly about his family, and I made a promise to come visit them in the spring.  Warren made me swear to out and get laid three separate times before he let me end the call, and he texted me immediately after to make sure I was installing the dating app. I went along with it…

But no matter how many times I tried to tell myself that he was right, I didn’t really believe it.

“So,” the omega purred, looking me up and down appreciatively.  “What do you do, then?”

Mentally reminding myself to at least feign interest, I forced a smile.  I was the one who had contacted him on that dating app, after all, though he didn’t seem particularly interested in the round of drinks I’d bought us at a bar some ways away from the neighborhood my parents lived in.  My mother probably would have been horrified to hear that I’d driven into Boston and then hopped on the subway; I was pretty sure she literally thought mole men lived in the tunnels, waiting to prey on any unwary bourgeoisie who accidentally stumbled down there.

“Nothing too exciting,” I told him.  “I work in New York, doing marketing for an investment firm.  I’m just in town for the holidays.”

“Ooh, a fancy jet-setter,” the omega giggled, leaning closer and giving me another head to toe sweep with his eyes.

“Not exactly.  How about you… um… Alexander?”  The omega’s name came back to me just in time, and I hoped he didn’t notice the pause as I tried to recall it.

“Xander,” he corrected with a coy smile.  “And I’m just a student.  Law school’s tough, you know.  Makes you want to… blow off some steam.”  He rested a meaningful hand on my knee, squeezing slightly, not even trying to hide how thick he was laying it on.

I stared at him, waiting for… something.  A spark of interest, a flash of heat to my dick, anything.

It wasn’t that Xander was unattractive; on the contrary, he was hot as fuck. Artfully unshaven stubble lined his jaw, and his skin-tight black jeans left very little to the imagination.  There was something alluring in his scent, too, the barest whiff of heat-spice nearly covered by suppressants.  He was the type of man that any sane alpha swiped right on immediately, and I obviously had.  He and Chris even looked slightly similar, with the same dark hair and slim build.  Xander’s eyes were dark where Chris’s were that stunning pale blue, though, and Chris’s nose was more rounded and his lips fuller, and Xander’s scent had absolutely nothing on Chris’s sweet, mouthwatering aroma…

No.  I was very specifically not supposed to be thinking about a certain pregnant omega—I was here so I could try and forget about him.

“Something the matter?” Xander asked, his hand sliding up to mid-thigh now.

“No, sorry,” I said quickly.  “Uh… what were we talking about?”

“Nothing important,” Xander murmured, so close now that he was half in my lap.  I had no idea how he was even still on his stool, but at this rate, he wouldn’t be for long. 

What the hell was wrong with me?  I had an omega all but crawling into my lap, sending extremely clear signals that he was down to leave and go somewhere private the second I suggested it, but… I didn’t care.  There was a time I would have jumped at the opportunity for a fun night with someone, especially with an omega as sexy as Xander.  But now… Even though Xander’s eyes were practically begging me to lean forward and stick my tongue into his mouth, even though I might even have enjoyed myself, my heart wasn’t in it.

Every time I looked away from Xander, the image of Chris swam up in my mind, whether I wanted it to or not.  My heart jumped in my chest, and all I could think about was him. The way it felt so natural to be around him.  The way he always clapped me on the arm when I made him laugh particularly hard, and the way my skin seemed to tingle like something out of a damn romance novel at his touch.  The way his face had fallen for just an instant before he managed to cover it when I’d told him I had plans this evening, and the way I’d been on the verge of canceling on Xander just to make Chris feel better, until I’d felt my phone vibrate with a message from the very hookup I sat next to now.

Sensing my hesitation, Xander leaned in.  “My suppressants are going to wear off soon,” he breathed into my ear, his scent pouring over me in a wave.  “What say you put those muscles to use and show me just how much of an alpha you are, baby?”  He threw his arms around my neck, rising off his chair, and I knew I wasn’t imagining the way he pressed his groin into my thigh.  I could feel his hard cock through the fabric of our pants, but just to be sure, he wiggled his hips a little.

Any other day, any other time, those breathy words and his obvious desire would have worked like a charm.  The touch of his heat I could smell on him did send a tiny jolt to my cock, a purely physical reaction to having an omega in heat close at hand.

I knew that if Warren had been here, he would have been smacking me upside the head for not pouncing on the willing omega pressing himself against me.  Instead, I carefully untangled his arms from around my neck and gently pushed him back onto his stool.

“I think we should call it a night,” I said.

Xander stared at me like I’d suddenly sprouted another head—but not the one he was after, obviously.  “Seriously?  It took me forty-five minutes to get here.”

“Sorry.  It’s not you, really.  It’s me.  I… well.”  I pulled out my wallet and tossed a twenty onto the bar counter to pay for our drinks, though both of them sat there mostly untouched.

Xander rolled his eyes.  “No shit it’s not me.  I canceled on two other alphas for you.  Fuck, what a waste.”  

I didn’t bother explaining, and Xander didn’t wait around to hear my excuses anyway.  He snatched his beer off the counter and walked away with it, heading for a rowdy group of alphas clustered around the pool table on the other side of the bar.  Sighing, I waved away the change the bartender offered me and headed for the door.

Warren had been right: doing this had absolutely helped make things clearer for me.  I knew the truth; I’d known it since the day I’d met him.

I was falling for the one omega I couldn’t have, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.