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A Heart of Shame (The Redemption Saga Book 2) by Kristen Banet (24)

Elijah

Elijah gave Gabriel over to the Dallas officers at the main office in Dallas-Fort Worth, and sighed happily, watching Gabriel find Cara and the others. They knew each other from church. They would have friends where they were going. Elijah silently wished them all well. They hadn’t told Gabriel what had happened to his family, yet, knowing the boy didn’t deserve to hear that crammed into an Explorer with a bunch of big scary people protecting him. Now he would have Cara holding his hand, like she was already his big sister, too.

Poor kid, Elijah thought to himself.

This case was riddled in tragedy, and he held onto a small bit of hope for those four kids, anyway. If people like their team could keep going forward, then those kids could do it, too. He had faith in them.

“You okay?” Vincent asked him, standing next to him. Sawyer smoked a cigarette about five feet away, in the shade.

“Yeah,” Elijah said with a nod, “I’m alright. Glad this is over for the most part. For us, at least.”

“Once they have Stevenson in custody, Dallas is going to help the non-Magi permanently shut down God’s Will.” Vincent said. Elijah saw Sawyer nod. She must not have known what was going on. “And they will get the kids into homes or the orphanage, once they get the help they need. That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Sawyer agreed softly, taking a drag of her smoke. “That is good.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Vincent asked her, turning completely.

“Yup.” Sawyer’s eyes darted around, as if to see if there was a reason she wouldn’t be. Elijah thought it looked shifty as hell, and it was kind of adorable.

“Want to talk about any of this?” Vincent asked, crossing his arms. Elijah wanted to laugh at the game that was starting up. A question followed by a short or evasive answer. Every time. “You know, maybe you should talk to Cory. Ask him why he jumped into your dreams, taunted you like that. I won’t, no one will, unless you want us to.”

“I don’t really want you to,” Sawyer informed them, taking a drag of her smoke. “I don’t really want to know. I have my theories, but… I would rather have no answer on this than one that might give me more nightmare fuel than I already have. Plus… I don’t know. Am I the only person who felt… this was easy?” Sawyer frowned at them.

“It was and it wasn’t,” Elijah conceded, thinking about it. “It was tense… but serial killers? Once we find them, they aren’t that good at hiding again.”

“They normally prove evasive, but they aren’t fighters. We outnumber them, they are normally deranged and distracted with other ideas and thoughts. Unless we’re chasing an intelligent sociopath. Those are a pain, but Cory wasn’t one of those. Neither was Stevenson. Both need help, definitely. Cory will spend most of his lifetime in prison getting help but… I wasn’t expecting a boy to put up much of a fight. At least he didn’t kill Gabriel.”

“It just…” Sawyer shook her head at them. “I expected something… more.”

“Another Axel?” Elijah coaxed it out of her. He wanted to know where she was thinking this was going to go.

“Yeah?” Sawyer made a confused and slightly frustrated face. “I guess?”

“Not everything is going to be like that. Axel was a one-off. An anomaly. Not every case is going to have fights like that.” Vincent contributed, helping Elijah set her straight about this. Elijah knew what she was thinking. This seemed tame in the end, compared to her introduction to their line of work. “Also, you were able to take Cory down without killing the poor boy.”

“He… didn’t deserve to die,” Sawyer admitted to them. Elijah knew that. The entire team believed that Cory didn’t deserve to die with a knife buried in his chest, confused and just trying to earn love he never could get. He was proud of her for making that decision, too. That boy needed help. He would never walk free, but he still deserved some sort of life and some chance to heal. Maybe one day he could use his healing magic for its real purpose.

“No, he didn’t,” Vincent agreed softly as Elijah just gave a nod.

They let silence fall over the conversation. Elijah flicked glances between Vincent and Sawyer, wondering if they were going to talk about the new situation between them now. Elijah chuckled. Vincent and Elijah knew about that hot-ass kiss she and Jasper shared, and she’d been quiet since Elijah badgered her about it. Zander couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“So, you and Jasper?” Elijah finally spoke up, grinning. “Want to talk about that?”

“Not really,” Sawyer huffed out. She looked at him then to Vincent. “I kissed Jasper. You got anything to say about that?”

“No,” Vincent chuckled finally, looking away from her. Elijah started laughing.

“I’m obviously out of the loop on something and I’m starting to dislike it,” Sawyer mumbled, flicking her cigarette.

Elijah just continued to laugh harder as Vincent tried to tell her there was nothing, a blatant lie to keep the peace for a moment. That would come back to bite Vincent. She had no idea. None. It was too wonderful. It was absolutely hilarious. They needed her focused on the case, so none of them had told her what they had decided.

Elijah sobered as he remembered that he still needed to talk to Quinn about it. He had a sneaking suspicion that Quinn would be fine, preoccupied with his own stuff, but it was still important to let him know. Quinn could be unpredictable if he decided something was his and everything else was a threat. To maintain the peace, he was going to need to get Quinn to understand that Sawyer couldn’t be his.

Now, with a moment to breathe and a bit of hope in his chest, he looked at her and realized how much he really wanted her. He wanted more teasing and playfulness. He wanted to mess with her over her arguments with Zander, and her stolen kisses with Jasper. He wanted to lay out on the sun rock and do what he’d imagined that day. Take her in the sun with Quinn there.

But, Elijah had something more somber he wanted to handle before he started having those daydreams again. Just because the case was closing didn’t mean Elijah was finished in Texas. Revelations during the case had given him something else he needed to do.

As they all quieted down, he nudged Vincent.

“What?” Vincent turned back to him.

“I want to borrow the Explorer. Make a drive down to see my parents,” Elijah told him.

“No,” Vincent said with a shortness that surprised Elijah.

“But-” Elijah frowned, confused.

“We’ll wait on Quinn, Jasper, and Zander. You aren’t going down to see them alone. You should have us, your team and brothers, supporting you,” Vincent continued, not letting Elijah cut in. Elijah nodded, thankful that Vincent was looking out for him when Elijah almost didn’t look out for himself. Vincent must have noticed because he chuckled. “See, I do care about your emotional needs. Now that I have the mental energy to do so.”

Elijah chuckled, nodding. Sawyer had changed Vincent for the better, that was for sure.

“I guess now we just wait?” Sawyer asked from her spot in the shade.

“Yeah,” Vincent told her. “Now we wait.”

* * *

It was dusk when they all pulled in front of the tiny house that Elijah hadn’t been to since he was fifteen. His hands were shaking as it came into view and his pulse raced now that they were there.

If he were a weaker man, he would have asked Vincent to turn them all around and just leave, but Elijah felt the need to do this. To confront his past and his father.

Elijah had always believed that his parents weren’t Anti-Magi. They had told him that him being a Magi never played into how much they cared for him. No, they were much more concerned about him fucking another guy. That was the line, apparently.

Now, Elijah didn’t believe them. He knew his father had a ring like Stevenson’s, marking him as a leader of God’s Will. He needed to know if his father really held those beliefs. He needed to know if he was lucky to not be Cory.

“Let’s go,” Elijah groaned, opening his door. Vincent just nodded and climbed out with him. The entire team followed him to the front door, and Elijah took a quick look back at them for some reassurance. “Sawyer, go put the weapons away.”

She sighed, turned back to the Explorers and removed the holsters and belts with her entire set of arms on them. He waited for her to get back, smiling.

“Better? I was just trying to make sure they knew we didn’t want any trouble.” Sawyer gave him a smile back, and he chuckled.

“They are in their sixties, Sawyer. There won’t be any trouble,” he informed her, trying not to lose his control. He turned back to the door and knocked.

He’d had Jasper make sure they still lived here. He didn’t want to come back and find someone else there.

They waited in near silence, if he could ignore the shoving and scuffles behind him with some low cussing. It was Zander and Sawyer. Zander was teasing her, and she was not having it.

“Hello?” his mother’s voice said as the front door opened. Elijah stayed silent until he could see her. Her eyes went wide as she took in the sight of him. She’d gone to his high school graduation, but he was a couple of inches taller and a lot bigger than he used to be. His father had decided not to go, though. Nine years since Elijah had seen her, twelve since he’d seen his father, even living in the same small town. “Elijah.” It was soft and surprised. His mom had never been loud.

“Hey, Ma,” Elijah mumbled, pulling off his hat. “We were in the area, on a case. I thought maybe I could come… catch up.” Get answers.

“Oh! Come in!” She pulled the door open wider and Elijah saw the moment she realized he brought friends. “And these are?”

“My teammates,” Elijah told her, smiling, now a bit nervous. His ma always made him a bit nervous when she started questioning him. He’d forgotten that, and it felt like he was three feet tall again, wondering whether she would like his friends.

“Oh, from what?” Ma frowned at him, and Elijah shifted nervously.

“We’re Special Agents with the International Police Organization, ma’am. Elijah is my X.O., second in command.” Vincent stepped forward. “He’s also a good friend. You raised a good man. I’m Vincent, leader of the team.” He held out his hand and Elijah watched his ma shake it slowly.

“The International Magi Police Organization…” His ma turned to him slowly. “This what you been up to, Eli?”

Eli. Elijah chuckled, nodding as she looked him over, then the team. It was nearly a minute before she sighed and nodded back to him.

“All of you come in and sit down,” she told them kindly. When none of them except her and Elijah moved, she laughed. “Come in, we don’t bite!”

“Yes, ma’am,” Elijah heard the chorus mumbles and affirmatives.

They wandered into the tiny living room, and Elijah took in the differences. They had changed the walls from burgundy to a sky blue. The furniture was pretty much the same. Still old, but not the busted down couch he grew up with. The floors were still a dark wood he’d always guessed was oak.

It was ‘home,’ but at the same time, it wasn’t. As the guys and Sawyer all found seats, his ma ushering them around, Elijah walked over to the mantle over the fireplace and looked over the pictures. He was still in them, with his parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. He had no close relatives nearby, they were spread out all over the state. In San Angelo, there was only him, his ma, and his… father. Pa. He’d always called his father Pa, but Elijah wasn’t so sure he could anymore. He hadn’t since he was thrown out of the house at fifteen.

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure of you visiting, Eli?” His ma touched his arm as he found what he was hoping not to find. The ring box was tucked behind a photo of his pa and a few friends.

“We were up in Albany, working on a case.” Elijah sighed. “Something came up. I wanted to come down, talk to Pa, and see you in the process.”

“Well, talking to your pa will be hard,” his ma sighed. “He ain’t here.”

“What?” Elijah frowned at her. He and Jasper had checked to make sure they both lived here.

“He’s out working. You can take a horse towards the creek, he’s repairing a fence out that way. It’s got to get fixed before night falls and some of the cows decide to escape.” His ma smiled at him. “Take one of your friends, we got enough horses. I’ll feed the rest.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Elijah laughed, leaning down to kiss her forehead. He pointed at Vincent. “You know how to ride a horse?”

“Nope,” Vincent laughed. “Willing to learn.”

“Quinn, you want to come?” Elijah asked. Quinn just nodded. “Can you ride?”

The look Quinn gave him made Elijah feel stupid. It was a stupid question. He knew Quinn could keep up with anything Elijah could do.

“Of course I can ride a horse,” Quinn growled, shaking his head.

Before they left the living room, Elijah looked back at the three he was leaving with his Ma. He chuckled as Sawyer shifted uncomfortably, and his ma noted how tall she was and how ‘pretty’. Zander was snickering on another couch while Jasper covered his mouth, sinking into the cushions where Sawyer couldn’t see him trying not to laugh.

“Ma, that’s Sawyer. The two dumb nuts on the couch are Zander, the red head, and Jasper, the blond. Have fun with them. They’re all orphans, so if you could spoil them, that would be nice.”

“Damn you, Elijah,” Sawyer glared at him, and he laughed as his ma smacked her arm.

“Language,” Ma reminded her. Elijah stuck his tongue out at Sawyer as she slid off the side of the arm chair she was on and landed on the seat.

“Yeah, Sawyer, language.” Zander chuckled.

“Go on.” Ma waved him away. “Go see your father. I kept telling him he should see you sooner, but… he’s a stubborn man, Eli.”

“I know, Ma. If we leave immediately when we get back, it’s not your fault.” Elijah told her, smiling kindly. She was a good mom, always had been. She just loved her husband and never wanted to fight with him, which lead to Elijah being thrown out with no one to defend him. He wasn’t sure he could forgive it, but looking back, he had survived, and then thrived in the IMPO.

He would get over it to know her again.

Now, he needed to know about the man he knew as his father.

He led Vincent and Quinn to the barn about five minutes from the house. Once inside, he taught them how to saddle up, adjusting the stirrups. He knew Quinn could ride, but Elijah quickly discovered it was bareback with hand-made reins, so Elijah had to teach him how to set everything up.

“Eli, huh?” Vincent questioned, smiling at him. Elijah groaned.

“Yeah, only she’s ever used it,” Elijah mumbled. “Moms, you know? Got to either-”

“Vinny was my mother’s nickname for me. Antonio only started using it just to bother me,” Vincent chuckled.

“Antonio now?” Elijah raised his eyebrows at Vin, who nodded.

“Yeah,” Vincent sighed.

Elijah didn’t say anything else on that point. Whatever name used, Antonio or Axel, the man was still a monster. He was still the guy who haunted Sawyer’s and Vincent’s nightmares. But, Elijah could imagine a few reasons why Vincent was deciding to use his brother’s real name and not the name he had cultivated as a world-wide criminal power.

They rode out together, after Elijah helped Vincent up on his horse. He was strangely surprised that the well-travelled, and once incredibly wealthy, Vincent Castello had never ridden a horse.

“How long is this ride?” Quinn asked, bringing the mare alongside the gelding Elijah was on.

“Fifteen minutes to the creek. We’ll follow it north along the fence until we find where he’s working.” Elijah told him. “Thanks for leaving Shade and Scout at the Explorers. The cattle and horses wouldn’t have been able to tolerate them.”

“You’re welcome,” was all Quinn said back.

They rode in silence, hitting the creek and turning north to follow the fence line. Elijah kept the pace slow, seeing no reason to rush, and he didn’t want to work the horses that hard. It was another ten minutes before Elijah saw his father wrapping wiring around a post. He was nearly done, it seemed. Elijah pulled to a stop and watched for a moment.

“Stay here,” Elijah urged to the guys before moving closer to his father. They had already been moving closer and Elijah wanted a moment to do this on his own.

Elijah got his coloring from his mother, but he got the rest from his father. Michael Grant. His father was a huge man, looking to be nearly three hundred pounds of muscle and height. He was broad, like Elijah. Elijah knew he’d pulled out a couple inches taller, now, but that didn’t make his father any less intimidating.

He swung off the bay gelding and walked the horse to the fence and tied it off. His father hadn’t noticed him just yet.

“Pa?” Elijah called out, causing his father to jump, startled. The brown eyes of his pa turned to him, and he watched his father’s eyes widen.

“Elijah, my boy,” he gasped. “What are you doing out here?”

“Back in the area on work, wanted to stop by,” Elijah answered, walking closer. “Ma said you were out here, so I wanted to come out and help.”

“Well, uh.” his father gestured to the post, “I’m done.”

“I see that,” Elijah sighed, nodding.

“So, why did you want to come visit?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Elijah admitted, leaning on a fence post about five feet away from his father. He nodded towards the old grey pickup, his dad’s truck. “I see you brought the truck out.”

“I see you brought out the horses,” Pa pointed out.

Silence fell as things between Elijah and his pa got awkward. He didn’t really know what to say. How did he ask his father the questions he needed answers to?

“Sir?” Vincent called out. Elijah looked back and smiled. Quinn must have helped Vincent off the horse because they were both walking closer now, leading their horses with them.

“Yes?”

“I’m Vincent Castello, Elijah’s team leader with the International Magi Police Organization,” Vincent introduced himself and extended a hand as he got close to Elijah’s father. Elijah was happy to see them shake, even if it was a short one. “We were up in Albany on a case. It’ll be all over the news in the next day or so.”

“So, you decided to stop by and see me and your mother before you left again?” His father turned to him and Elijah sighed.

“Yes and no,” Elijah admitted softly. “Pa, did you know Sheriff Stevenson?”

“I did… A long time ago.” Michael sighed. “You met him?”

“He was the leader of an Anti-Magi group up in Albany and the surrounding area,” Vincent cut in. Quinn moved to Elijah’s side and stayed close.

“God’s Will,” Michael confirmed, nodding. “He’s been a member of that group for… decades. Harmless folk, just angry for no reason. Spread all over the state, bunch of different chapters.”

“Pa,” Elijah growled, frustrated by that. Harmless. There was nothing harmless about it. “Stevenson is a Magi and now he’s going to jail. And he wore a ring, denoting that he was a leader of the group in that area. And I’m here because I remember you and Ma telling me you were never Anti-Magi… but you have one of those rings.”

Michael shuffled uncomfortably so Elijah continued.

“You know, I didn’t want to come down and visit. Saw no reason to come back here and reopen old wounds, but I need to know, Pa. Those guys were helping a… they were helping someone kill off Magi around Albany and Abilene. A family in Acampo. A four-year-old girl, Pa. A religious purge.”

“I… I was young and stupid, Elijah. When I was a member… a chapter leader, we weren’t like that…” Michael looked away from them. “Just good Christians looking for a place and community to vent about Magi. I thought Magi were stealing jobs, using magic to fix their problems, making it harder on us non-Magi to get work and do well. Then your mother and I had you. I was already on the outs with God’s Will. I was not willing to become as fanatic as the rest of them. I was fine with having people to vent to, fine with people not really liking each other, but the organization began turning down a road I didn’t want to travel. I stepped down, let someone else take over.”

“Seriously?” Elijah pressed, crossing his arms. “That’s all you have to say?”

“Look, boy,” Michael growled at him. “People make mistakes. I was a part of something I now regret, and I’ve done stupid things. I’m old enough now to admit that. Son, I knew I was wrong for throwing you out the moment I did it. You love who you love, but I was too bull-headed to admit it. Then that business right before you graduated… and you disappeared. Elijah, my heart was broken for you. You graduated, and you left. I didn’t know how to get in touch with you. And you never came back. You just never came back, and I’ve held on to that guilt for… years.”

“So… you still mad at me?” Elijah asked. He met his father’s eyes and watched the older man shake his head. He could let an old guy move on from the mistakes of youth and pride. He was willing to rebuild, if his father was. Elijah could only look forward. The past was in the past, if they were both willing to leave it there. It wasn’t his father’s fault that Taylor was gone, and Taylor was the biggest reason Elijah never came back.

“No, Elijah,” Michael sighed. “I haven’t been mad at you for over a decade. I’m just happy to see you. I’ve been hoping my only child would come back so I could tell him I’m sorry. How sorry I am for destroying our family.”

“Could have fooled me.” Elijah chuckled hoarsely, looking down at his own boots to hide the tears in his eyes. Fuck, he hadn’t been expecting this. An argument or something, but not this. He’d been expecting another Sheriff Stevenson, another stubborn, awful man.

But this was his father, and Michael Grant was offering an apology, an explanation. Elijah would accept it.

“I ain’t never been good at this stuff, boy,” Michael groaned. A moment of silence. “So, who’s your other friend?”

“Quinn Judge,” Quinn spoke up, finally entering the conversation. “The rest of the team is back at the house with your… wife.”

Elijah fucking knew Quinn had almost said ‘mate’ and caught himself. Elijah chuckled harder. He felt lighter.

“Ah, well, we should get back then before she gets them fat,” Michael laughed, smiling at them. “International Magi Police Organization, huh?” He gave Elijah a curious look.

“Yeah, Pa. I’m a cop, now.”

“We’re Special Agents,” Vincent corrected. “Not the standard regional officers and detectives.”

“Oh, so you’re fancy cops,” Michael chuckled. “Like FBI or something.”

“I…” Vincent frowned, looking towards Elijah. Elijah nodded to confirm, yeah, in the US, that would be the closest equivalent. “I guess so?”

“Vincent was born and raised in Italy, and he doesn’t know too much about how the US does things. We don’t really work with non-Magi organizations that often,” Elijah told his father. “We’ll meet you back at the house. I’ll make sure the horses get settled in for the night.”

“Alright. See you there,” Michael agreed, finally walking closer to Elijah. Elijah uncrossed his arms and they stood about a foot apart for an awkward moment. Elijah decided to end that, pulling his father into a hug when Pa had gone for a handshake, instead. It was strange, his pa needed to readjust to the hug, and they stood there, the sun dipping below the horizon for a moment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come see you sooner,” Elijah whispered, knowing his own avoidance of this town and his past had led to the unresolved problems between him and his pa. If he had come back sooner, maybe he would have never thought his father was like Stevenson.

“I’m just glad you did,” Michael grumbled, holding him. “I’ll admit that I was ashamed, and I shouldn’t have been. You always had a big heart, Elijah.”

“I love you, Pa,” Elijah mumbled.

His pa’s answer was garbled, but Elijah knew what he said.

I love you, too.

Now, Elijah could worry about introducing his father to the rest of the team.

And see what mayhem Zander and Sawyer were probably causing for his ma.