CHAPTER 1
Teagan
“Now move slowly from Chaturanga to Downward Dog, feeling the loosening of the joints and muscles, really focus on the movement. We want to get that good stretch.”
I took a deep breath and followed my own instructions, demonstrating for my class. I felt my body shaking slightly as I moved into the pose. Apparently, it really wasn’t up to this today. I was exhausted, having stayed up all night long comforting my best friend Ellie Smith, who had just broken up with her boyfriend Jaden… again. They would probably patch things up before the end of the day, despite Ellie’s protest that this time they were really through. I wondered why Ellie continued to put up with Jaden’s crap and repeatedly taking him back. He was a loser who was going nowhere, and if she weren’t careful, he would take her down with him.
But Ellie was my best friend, and I would always have her back, despite how much I continually tried to talk some sense into her friend to dump that creep.
Of course, I did not have a lot of room to give advice. My love life read like some teenager’s letter to gossip magazine. It had been almost a year since I’d dated anyone seriously, despite the fact that guys hit on me all the time. I knew I’d been blessed with good looks, and I liked to think I was sweet and approachable, but ever since things went sour with Theo, I just wasn’t ready to get back in the game.
“Okay, now down into a plank position and hold that stretch. We want to hold it for twenty seconds,” I continued. “And go through your vinyasa to cobra.”
I looked up into the mirror at my class as I heard a few groans behind me. They were desperately trying to keep up with me. A few of my more advanced students were doing fine, but the beginners were having a tough go of it. I understood though. I was always tough on my students. I always wanted to push them, even if it was their first class.
I stood up and moved to the back of the room to help a few of the stragglers. Amy and Kyle were a couple who had just started the class a month ago. They had both made great strides, but they still needed assistance when they started to push through vinyasa.
Amy was having issues with moving from her plank to cobra, which was especially hard on the core muscles and the shoulders. I leaned down and placed my hand on Amy’s shoulder to alleviate just a little bit of the stress, but not enough that Amy even noticed. Amy smiled at her, which came across more as an expression of grit and determination in the face of failing muscles.
Kyle dropped down to his knees without apology or shame, but Amy was determined to prove herself. I appreciated when her students wanted to outdo themselves and impress her, but it was my job to make sure they progressed and did not hurt themselves. Yoga was a lifelong pursuit and I always made sure to tell them that. I did not think of it as something that was ever really mastered. There was always room to grown and improve in the practice.
“That’s it,” I said. “Alright, now just push up back through downward dog. Lift your right leg and step through to step into Warrior Two.”
I moved back to the front of the class and assumed the position, demonstrating for the beginners. This was one that most didn’t struggle with too much, but it could be intimidating if you didn’t have strong core muscles.
“Now, for you beginners if you feel yourself off balance you can pull back a little and just don’t sink down quite so far into the squat. But don’t go easy on yourselves; I want you to push. That is the only way you will grow, right?”
The beginners in the front mumbled some a reply. It had been a long, exhausting session and they were all basically done for the day.
I held the pose with them for a few seconds, then continued the flow to triangle pose and then into standing fold and back up into tadasana bringing my hands to my heart center.
“Just breathe in and out slowly. It is time for your body to unwind from all of the work you just did. Your mind and body will continue to grow together and strengthen that bond. The spirit which connects the two will become stronger and stronger as you face the harsh struggles of the world around you. I wish you all peace, love, and joy. Until next time. Namaste.”
“Namaste,” the class replied in unison.
And with that, the class was over. I briefly chatted with a few of my students as they walked out. I thanked them for coming and said I hoped to see them next time.
After the last student left the studio, I packed up her bag and quickly left, locking up behind her. I was exhausted and ready to go home to a nice quiet evening. I anticipated falling asleep in front of the television; a big container of ice cream may or may not have been involved.
I had been a yoga instructor for the past year and a half. I was able to rent a room at a dance studio to teach classes. It was not exactly the career path I had initially envisioned for myself when I was a student studying physical therapy, but sometime during my sophomore year in college, I’d become very interested in the practice. And since then, I’d managed to whip my body into fantastic shape, which had translated into more peace and harmony in the rest of my life.
At least until I met Theo last year. Things had started off really great. He was the perfect guy; good looking, he had a great job as a veterinarian, he was really sweet, and we had so much in common, it felt like there was never a dull moment. I thought for sure that we would get married.
But then I came home one day to find a lengthy, handwritten letter that had been mailed days before. Theo had decided to go off to find himself and he wasn’t sure what lay ahead for him, but he knew that he couldn’t tie himself down to a relationship anymore.
And just like that, he quit his job at the animal hospital and went about his merry way. I hadn’t heard from him since. He never even answered his phone, when I called several times hoping for some sort of explanation. I still kept that letter in a drawer in my bedroom. I got it out from time to time to study it, looking for some sort of clue as to what might have prompted his selfish decision. I didn’t necessarily care that he needed to find himself, but the fact he didn’t bother to talk to me before he left was what was driving me crazy.
I had even reached out to his family for some sort of clue to his decision, and they had no more information than I did. A million scenarios had gone through my mind. Everything from the idea that he’d ran off to join some sort of cult, to a kidnapping, to the possibility that he’d met another other woman. In the end, after months of self-doubt and anger, I realized that Theo was just the kind of guy who cared more about himself than anyone else.
I knew I couldn’t change that. But I also couldn’t understand why he thought breaking up with me the way he did was the right thing to do. I had loved him so much. While it had been six months since he left, not a day went by that the pain did not echo through my mind and tear at my heart.
As I entered my empty apartment and turned on the light, I found myself wondering if I would ever truly be over Theo. Was this just the way it was going to be forever? I had tried dating since he was gone, and I just was never interested in the guys no matter how great they were. Did I really want to go through the rest of my life alone, done with romance at the age of twenty-eight?
The truth was, I just didn’t know.
I got settled in and sat down on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. I was just about to binge watch some episodes of my favorite streaming show when my phone rang. I groaned as I reached for my phone on the coffee table. I didn’t even have to look at it to know that it was Ellie. That girl’s mind went a mile-a-minute from one thing to the next, and she didn’t believe in texting. At least not as the first line of communication. Anything Ellie wanted to say, she had to say over the phone or in person.
“What?” I answered.
“Well, hello to you too,” Ellie said with a laugh.
“Sorry. I just got home. I’m beat.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot it’s Wednesday.”
Wednesday nights were my busiest. I taught extra classes in the morning and evening. I was hoping that eventually, I would be able to gain enough students so I could eventually start my own yoga studio. It was my dream to be able to have big studio that offer both hot yoga along with other classes.
“So what’s going on? Did you and Jaden get back together yet?”
“No. I told you I am through with him. This time it is for real,” Ellie insisted.
I laughed. “Yeah, right. You always say that, and you never stick to your guns. I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long.”
“No way. It’s over. He has screwed up for the last time.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it. Did you call me just to brag that you haven’t gotten back together with him yet?”
“Um, yeah… I’m really proud of myself. It’s like a record, right?”
I laughed again. “You are hopeless. You know that right?”
“I do know this,” Ellie said. “I thought you would be proud of me too.”
I shook her head. “I am very proud of you, especially after you kept me up until three on the phone with you talking about all the times that Jaden has screwed you over and cheated on you. I’m glad to see you are finally getting some self-respect.”
“Thank you,” Ellie said. “As awesome as I now am, that is not the only reason I called.”
“Ok… what?” I asked. Ellie loved to make people guess.
“There is this really cute guy who just moved into my building.”
“Wow, you are moving on that fast? That’s impressive, sweetie,” I said knowing full well what Ellie was actually aiming at.
“No, goofball. I meant for you,” Ellie said. “You can be so dense sometimes.”
“I’m messing with you,” I said. “And you know I am not interested.”
“What the hell? It’s been forever since you and Theo. I know the whole thing messed you up, but you have to move on already. Sitting home alone every night stuffing your face with ice cream and watching Netflix is not healthy.”
“How do you know that’s what I’m doing?”
“Because I know you way too well,” Ellie said. “What kind of ice cream is sitting on your lap?”
I hated to tell Ellie how right she was. It was embarrassing.
“It doesn’t matter; I am just not ready to date yet.”
“I don’t think you will ever be ready. Want to know why?” Ellie asked.
“No, but I have a feeling you are going to tell me anyway,” I said as I poked at my ice cream.
“Because you like being miserable. That’s right, you love it.”
“Give that lady a prize,” I said. I didn’t agree, but I hated getting Ellie wound up. My love life was not something I wanted to talk about or even think about right now.
And my ice cream was melting.
I put the phone down and turned it on speaker to free my hands to devote my full efforts to my ice cream.
“I’m serious. You love being miserable.”
“I do not love being miserable,” I said with a sigh. “Who the hell loves being miserable?”
“Well, you must. When was the last date you went on?”
“I don’t know. Why does it matter?”
“It was Jack Dawson. Three months ago, and it was just coffee.”
“Just focus on your own love life, and I’ll worry about mine,” I said. “I don’t need help. When I’m ready, it will happen.”
“Ok, whatever. I tried,” Ellie said.
We chatted a few more minutes, and I was relieved when Ellie finally left to answer another call on the other line. It was probably Jaden; I could almost guarantee it.
I finished her ice cream and started up my show. I figured I would probably fall asleep before the end of the first episode.
Halfway through the opening credits I realized that I hadn’t checked my emails yet today. It had been such a hectic Wednesday that I barely had time to even wolf down a quick lunch.
I grabbed my phone as the episode started and quickly opened up my email app. And then I saw it. An email from Siri Park. Siri was a high level yoga teacher that ran workshops all around the world. This year it was in Ronovia, a small country near France. Each summer, he ran an extensive yoga retreat where he invited top yoga practitioners to come and study with him for a week. They usually spent most of their time out in the woods, away from civilization, just communing with the world around them. It was very exclusive. I had been trying to get into the program for almost three years now.
She’d submitted a new video every single year detailing her dedication to the practice of yoga, her skills, and her knowledge. This was the first time she’d been able to include footage of her classes, and how she wanted to open up her own studio. That had to be the thing that had cinched the deal. Because I had been accepted.
I read the email three times to make sure it was not a mistake of some sort. But it was happening. I had been selected out of thousands of entries to be among the handful of yoga practitioners to get to study with Master Siri.
I leaped up off the couch, nearly spilling the empty bowl of ice cream to the floor.
It was a dream come true. I was going to be in the presence of one of my heroes and it was the exact distraction that I needed.