CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“ I’ll be at the finish line shouting you on, Hope.”
“Does it count that I’m having a baby?”
Faith shook her head. “You’re barely pregnant, stop being a wuss.”
Hope’s stomach felt odd today. She’d had a few cramps, but guessed this was all part of the pregnancy process. Plus, there was the stress of what Casey believed her capable of. Like Newman, Hope now believed someone was sabotaging Wildlife, and unfortunately the finger was pointed firmly at her. The thought made her stomach clench. Cubby said they needed proof to charge her, and of course she knew they would find none, but still, it was unsettling.
“You puking up your breakfast yet?”
“Not puking, just a bit of nausea,” Hope answered Faith.
A few people now knew that she was carrying Newman’s baby. Secrets couldn’t be kept in Howling, unless you were the only person who knew them. Newman’s friends had taken it in their stride, which had surprised Hope, because she hadn’t thought they would be happy. Annabelle had hugged her hard enough to crack a few ribs, and said she was pleased she wasn’t the only one puking each morning.
Faith stood with hands on her slender hips, feet braced. She was an imposing figure, even dressed in the tutu and bikini top.
“Not sure why we had to wear such revealing clothing either,” Hope muttered, tugging down the top.
“It’s probably the last time you get to show off your body, because it’ll be all baggy and stretched soon.”
“I’m not entirely sure why I put up with you.”
“Because I’m awesome, and you love me.”
Hope waved at Jake and Buster, and then John, who was busy taking photos. They had gone through some of what they’d shot yesterday, and she had to say, it was good. He challenged her to be the best, and had also given her confidence a boost after this business with Wildlife.
She hadn’t realized she was looking for him, until Hope found Newman standing to one side talking to his father. She couldn’t read his expression, but he didn’t look happy. His lips were in a line, his arms folded.
“Sure, that’s the reason,” Hope said, dragging her eyes from Newman, because it really was none of her business what was being said between father and son.
“I’ll be a minute, Mikey. You and Faith get the boat down to the water.” She should be minding her own business, but didn’t seem to be able to stop her feet from heading to where Newman stood.
“You owe me for taking you in, Paul. Owe me for giving you a home. I never expected you to repay me with betrayal.”
Mr. Newman was talking softly, but Hope could hear his anger as she approached.
“This is not the time for this conversation,” Newman said quietly. “Half of Howling is around us, for pity’s sake.”
“As you have been avoiding me, this is the only place I knew I could get you to talk to me. You’ve ruined my reputation in this town. Patrick McBride came to see me yesterday to ask for the inflatable boat I was using, back.”
“Why were you borrowing his boat when you have one of your own?”
Resentment flashed across his father’s face.
“His is bigger.”
Hope hadn’t spoken more than a handful of words to Mr. Newman in her life, and never really noticed there was no resemblance between father and son, until now.
“He has a right to his boat back, Dad.”
“Before he left, he said that you had grown into a wonderful man, whom he respected hugely, and how proud I must be of you. He wouldn’t have said that if he didn’t know you were adopted.”
“Like I have already told you, I no longer want my birth to be a dirty secret. You may believe that, but I don’t, and nothing you can do or say will make me see otherwise.”
“You would be nothing without me!”
Anger had Hope moving to Newman’s side. She glared at his father.
“How dare you speak to your son that way!”
“Hope, it’s all right,” Newman said.
“No, it’s not. How could you have raised him to believe he owed you anything but love, when in return that was all he expected from you. You had no right to make him believe his birth was anything but a miracle!”
Mr. Newman glared at Hope. His eyes were too close together. She hadn’t noticed that before either.
“This does not concern you, young lady. I know all about your type.”
“Don’t speak to her like that.” Newman stepped forward, but Hope blocked his way. She shook her finger at his father.
“You, sir, are a disgrace. It’s really another miracle that your son has turned out to be the kind, caring, wonderful man he is, which, I may add, is no thanks to you.” She turned and hugged Newman hard, before walking away. Her anger carried her back to the boat.
“Thank you.”
He must have followed her.
“I just said what was needed. I’m sorry, Newman, I know he’s your dad, but he’s not very nice.” Hope kept her eyes on his bare chest. Not a hardship, really.
“I know, and I’ll put him straight on the ‘I owe him’ business. It felt good, by the way.” He tilted her chin so their eyes met.
“What felt good?”
“You standing up for me.”
“He made me angry.”
“Remind me not to make you angry in the future then.”
She nodded. Would there be a future for them? She had to admit to herself that she hoped so.
“You need to take care out there on the lake, Hope.”
“I know that, Newman, I’m not an idiot.”
“If you get into trouble just wave and yell.”
“I got this, thanks, Newman.”
“You need to put on your vest.”
“Newman!” Hope snapped. “Walk away.”
“I’m just trying to let you know that anything can happen on the water.”
She’d felt sorry for him minutes ago, but now she was angry. He was an exhausting man.
“I’ve lived here for years, remember. Raised around water, and know what I’m doing. Now go away!”
He gave her a final look that she couldn’t interpret, then left.
“Strange how he loses his nice guyness when you’re around.”
“Not a word, Buster.”
“I don’t need a dictionary to explain what I see, sweet cheeks.”
“You people are weird,” Hope muttered, getting gingerly into the boat. She was then hauled out of it, and a life vest was forced over her head.
“Do it up, or I will.”
“All right already,” Hope said, doing as Newman demanded.
“His crown is certainly slipping,” Ethan said as he and his brother launched their boat.
“Where you guys from?” Hope asked.
“Your man already asked us that, and it wasn’t funny then,” Brad said, and then he gave her a stunning smile.
She turned as she heard a loud sigh, and saw Macy. Rolling her eyes, Hope settled her weight as Mikey got in the front.
“You ladies don’t get too upset when we kick your fine butts.”
Hope heard Annabelle growl at Jake’s words.
“You’re in a muffin boat, McBride. You can’t be serious?” Hope taunted him. She’d never been part of a group like this, but thought she could begin to like it.
Her future was uncertain, but she knew one thing, Newman would be in it in some capacity. Husband or lover, or just friend, he would now feature in her life, because they were going to share a child, and last night, as she lay staring at the ceiling, she’d realized that she also cared about him—which was a good thing too.
He watched her push off as he did the same.
“We are not sitting behind her, Newman. I want to win this, because my sister will give me shit for the rest of my natural life and into the afterlife if I lose to her, so for fuck’s sake, concentrate!”
“You want those dancing lessons bad?”
“Real bad.”
It wasn’t a great distance to row, and the Texans, as it turned out, had a seaworthy and mobile craft, and shot out to the lead. Buster and Jake were on their tail, with Newman and Noah a close third. Turning, he saw Hope and Mikey not far behind.
“Row!” Noah yelled.
They rounded the buoy in second place as Jake and Buster’s boat started falling apart. They’d lost the frosting and most of the sides, and were now standing as it slowly sank, saluting.
“Idiots.” Newman laughed. He laughed harder as Branna splashed her husband with her oar in passing.
They drew level with the Texans close to the finish, then it was just straight-out strength. The Texans won by a half a boat length. Newman closed his eyes and sucked in air.
“Texans rule the waves!” Tex crowed, and Newman let him. His muscles were screaming, lungs burning.
“That boat better change course, or it’s going to capsize theirs.”
Newman looked at Brad as he spoke, then out to the water where he was focusing. His heart literally stopped as he saw another boat heading toward Hope’s. It was bigger, and made of wood. They collided, then he watched Hope and Mikey fall into the water.
“No!” He dived back into the lake and started swimming. His arms had been aching seconds ago, but all he felt now was fear. He heard an engine and lifted his head, and found Cubby beside him in an inflatable. Scrambling on board, he looked for Hope, but saw no sign of her.
“She’ll be fine. Neither boat was traveling fast, Newman. Take a breath now.”
“I can’t see her, Cub.”
“She’ll be on the other side, Newman, you need to calm down.”
He tried, but panic clawed inside him. When the boat pulled up alongside the wreckage of Hope’s boat, he searched for her, and found her floating in the water with Mikey and one of the men from the wooden boat. Her eyes were closed.
“She hit her head on our boat as she fell, she’s unconscious!” the man yelled. “The life vest kept her above water!”
Newman didn’t speak, just jumped into the water and reached for her. He lifted her in his arms, and handed her to Cubby as he pulled alongside. He then threw Mikey in, and joined them. The man he left to make his own way back.
“She won’t open her eyes, Newman.” Mikey sounded scared. “She hit that boat hard.”
“You did great holding her, Mikey. Hope’s going to be just fine.”
He heard Cubby talk, but all Newman could do was look at Hope. She was so pale.
“Open your eyes now, Hope.”
“She wasn’t out long,” Mikey said.
“Open now, Hope!”
This time she did, slowly. Her eyelashes fluttered, and then she was looking up at him.
“S-sick.”
He turned her as she started throwing up, holding her head over the edge as she retched repeatedly. As they reached the bank, she was still going.
“I got her now.” Jake took her from Newman so he could jump out. He laid her on the ground, and he and Dr. McBride senior kneeled beside her. Newman moved to her feet and watched.
“Tell me your name.”
“Hope.”
“Full name,” Jake said, checking her pulse.
“Ah, Hope….” She frowned and then winced.
“All right, let’s leave that for now, and get you to the clinic.”
They brought a stretcher, and Newman carried one end with Jake at the other. Hope was transported in Cubby’s cruiser to the clinic. Once there, she was taken away from him by Annabelle, who had accompanied them, and Dr. McBride senior, to be checked out.
“I want to come too.”
“No. Get dried off, then you can see her, because we’ll have checked her over by then.”
“Jake.”
“We got this, Newman, and we’ll take care of your girl and the baby.”
He didn’t leave, just sat in the waiting room in his wet shorts. Buster arrived with a change of clothes. He pulled them on in the waiting room, and took the coffee his friend handed him.
“She was so pale.”
“I know. I saw. Willow was the same that day we pulled her out of that car, remember?”
Newman did. His friend had been inconsolable. He now knew how he’d felt.
“You love her, bud?”
“I don’t know… maybe. How the hell do I know,” Newman growled. “I think about her all the time. She annoys the hell out of me on one hand, and on the other I can’t seem to get enough of being with her.”
“Love, then,” Buster said, stretching out his legs.
They sat silently as the clock in the waiting room ticked by the minutes.
“It’s been too long,” he said after an hour had gone past. “Something is not right.”
“Jake and his mom have this, Newman. Let them do their thing.”
“I can feel it. Something’s not right,” he said again. Just as the last word left his lips, the door opened, and there stood Jake, looking serious.
“Hope?” Newman could barely get the word out as he got to his feet. “Tell me she’s all right, Jake.” Beside him Buster rose and gripped his shoulder.
“Hope lost the baby, Newman.”
“What?” His eyes went from Jake to Buster. “I— How?”
“Actually, it’s unlikely it was due to the accident. Hope said she’d been experiencing cramping this morning. When we brought her in here, she miscarried. Chances are it was about to happen anyway.”
“Well fuck,” Buster snarled.
“I need to see her.” Newman brushed past his friend and ran down the hall, looking in rooms. He found her in a bed, with Annabelle sitting at her side.
“Belle?”
“Hey.” She got to her feet and came to hug him hard. “I’m so sorry, Newman.”
He managed to nod, then stumbled to the bed. Hope lay there looking pale, her eyes focused but not really seeing.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He took her hand in his. It felt limp. “I’m so sorry, Hope.”
She looked at him with eyes that were filled with nothing.
“It’s all right, you can go now. We’re done, the baby’s gone.”
“What?” He couldn’t wrap his head around her words.
“I know you only proposed for the baby. Let’s face it, you would never have otherwise. I’m not a Newman kind of girl.” Her voice sounded different, like she was reading from a book.
Newman shook his head, because he couldn’t seem to comprehend what she was saying.
“It’s best if we just make a clean break.”
“Hope, don’t talk like that. Sure, this is terrible, and heartbreaking, but what’s between us has grown—”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want that, and there is nothing between us. Now please just leave, I’m tired.” Her voice held no emotion; even her face was still.
“Hope, wait. I want to stay with you—”
“I don’t want you to stay with me. I need to sleep, and there’s no point in you sitting here while I do that. So please just go.”
So polite, he thought, and a million miles from the woman he knew her to be.
“Annabelle, are you still there?”
“I am.” His friend came forward as Hope called for her.
“Make him leave, please.”
“Damn it, you are not just dismissing me, Hope!”
“Please just go.” It was the plea that got to him, the first emotion she’d shown since he’d walked in. Dropping down beside the bed, he looked her in the eye.
“This is not done between us, Hope Lawrence. You feel something for me, as I do for you. Losing the baby is devastating, but we will survive, and I’m not giving up on you or us.”
“I want you to,” she whispered, and his heart broke all over again as a tear rolled down her nose. “We would never have worked. Water and oil, Newman.”
“Let me stay with you, Hope.”
“No, I don’t want that. I n-need to be alone. Looking at you just reminds me of what I’ve lost.”
“We lost.”
“I-I didn’t think it would hurt, but it d-does.”
“Let me hold you, Hope.”
She turned away from him then, and faced the wall, and Newman had never felt that hopeless before.
His shoulders felt heavier, and his feet slow as he turned to his friend.
“I don’t know what to do, Belle.”
Annabelle hugged him hard.
“She’s in shock, Newman. Just give her time.”
He nodded, and walked from the room, and they were the hardest steps he’d ever taken, because they took him away from Hope.