Chapter Twenty-One
Hollis
“So,” Piper starts, pen in hand and notebook laid out in front of her. I have a feeling by the end of this month, we’re all going to take great pleasure in ripping that damn thing apart and burning it. “Did you by chance get a conversation in last night or this morning about a honeymoon?” They all look at me, completely captivated by what I have to say.
We’re having our usual Sunday afternoon cookout at the clubhouse, where the men are manning the grill and we’re at the picnic table.
“Well,” I twist my lips, not sure if he was serious or not, because when I’d gone upstairs after him, we’d ended up having honeymoonesque sex in our shower. “We did, but I’m not sure he was serious about the destination or not.”
“Anything will help to give us an idea.” Piper has her pen ready.
“He suggested a salt and pepper shaker museum.” I pause for dramatic effect and laugh at all their faces.
“He can’t be serious.” Emily looks at me, a little disgusted.
“No,” I say, getting my laughter under control. “He wasn’t, but then he said something about Fiji?”
They all stop talking and laughing to just look at me with their wide eyes and open mouths.
“What? I know where Fiji is, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting him pay for that kind of a honeymoon.” I dismiss their silent concerns. “I was thinking more along the lines of a resort in Florida somewhere, or maybe Myrtle Beach.” But who I’m I kidding? A trip to Fiji would be a once in a lifetime trip. Hell, I couldn’t dream of going in five of my lifetimes. The thought is fleeting and completely ridiculous, but a girl can dream.
Piper levels her eyes at me. “Small, huh?” She goes back to writing in her notebook. “Myrtle Beach, resort in Florida.” She punctuates her note by tapping the pen onto the paper a little harder than needed.
“Oh.” We all turn to Avery. “Tessa.” She shoves a few printed papers across the table to her. “I was talking to one of the obstetric nurses in the hall Friday and they told me this.” She looks happy with herself as she points to the papers laying on the table. “Read.”
Tessa smiles at her and picks up the papers. “Bullshit,” she exclaims. “This is crazy.” She jerks her eyes up to a very pleased with herself Avery.
“I know, right? So keep letting Matthew bend you over that couch, girl,” Avery says on a laugh. “It kinda pisses me off that I paid to have Pitocin through an IV in the hospital when I could’ve been getting it from Leo’s dick for free anytime I wanted it,” Avery exclaims.
“Give it here,” Piper demands, reaching for the papers in Tessa’s hand. Her eyes fly over the words on the paper. “Holy shit.” Piper looks up and hands them off to me. “It’s in the semen?”
I read them fast, with Emily and Josie eagerly jerking them out of my hand when I finish, and look up with my mouth hanging open in shock. “No shit, but why?” I look over at Tessa.
“I’m thirty-two weeks, and I want this shit over with.” She motions up and down her huge twin baby belly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved being these babies belly momma, but being pregnant in general sucks.” Her voice is a little whiny.
And I can’t blame her at all, she looks completely miserable. Her feet and hands are swollen, she has to wear what can only be classified as a festive Hawaiian Mumu, and her belly is just short of being the size of the world’s largest watermelon.
“You’re thirty-two weeks?” I ask her.
“Yes, I thought you knew that, Hollis?” she asks, a little hurt.
“I did—I mean, I do.” I stop and let my shoulders fall, feeling like the shittiest friend in the world. “Piper, we’re going to have to wait on the wedding.” Everything stops around the table.
“No,” Tessa snaps, reaching out for my hand. “You are not stopping or postponing anything because of me.”
“But Tessa, you’ll be thirty-six weeks pregnant, and I’m not making you get all dressed up, stand on your feet and do all the pomp and circumstance shit with you this miserable.”
“Hollis.” She levels her eyes at me. “This is your day, and I don’t care if Matthew has to wheel me up to that alter on a damn gurney, you’re getting married in a month. These little boys will just have to wait till you sign the papers to make an appearance.” She leans back and pats her large belly.
“You bitch!” Piper screams. “You’ve known this whole time and not said anything?”
Tessa makes an oops face before breaking into the biggest smile. “Yes, I wanted to tell you, but,” she trails off.
“But what? You just let it slip your mind? Does Matthew know?” Josie looks over at the men standing by the grill and back to Tessa.
“Of course Matthew knows,” Tessa tells Josie.
“Oh my God, I love babies. Babies, babies, babies,” Emily chants while Avery has a Cheshire smile on her face.
“You knew?” I direct the attention to Avery.
She has the audacity to look innocent. “Well, I might have just-”
“Bullied your way in,” Tessa blurts out.
Avery rights her shoulders. “Yes I did, and I’m not ashamed at all.” She points to Tessa’s belly. “Those are my nephews and I wanted to know.”
“You didn’t know they were our nephews then.” Emily points an accusatory finger at her. Avery just shrugs and smiles.
“Okay, Tessa.” Piper levels her eyes at the woman. “There will be no having babies until after I get this planned. Shit, girl, we haven’t even had you a baby shower yet.” Her eyes fly wide as she turns to a clean piece of paper and begins writing.
I look over at a groaning Tessa. I reach out to pat her hand. “You’re welcome.” I give her a shit-eating grin. “If I have to, everybody has to let her plan things.”
“I’ll have to get my assistant on this,” Piper states.
“Assistant?” Emily looks over at Piper.
“Yes,” she answers, matter-of-factly. “Dalton hired me one so when I’m at the wedding, because I’m in it, she’ll run things.”
I look at her skeptically. “You’re going to let someone else run the show?”
“She’s my teaching assistant at school so she knows me, and we work well together,” Piper says as we all just shake our heads. “Okay, Ima’s taking care of the wedding cake.” I open my mouth to protest, but Piper holds her hand up, stopping me. “She insisted, Hollis, and once that woman has her mind set there’s no changing it.”
Avery leans over and whispers in my ear, “Remind you of anybody?” I snicker, and Piper catches us pointing her pen at the both of us.
~~~~~~
Roman
“I think that woman just cupped my ball sack, man,” Eno says, looking over his shoulder at the woman who has spent the afternoon measuring us for tuxes.
Leo smacks him in the chest. “She was just measuring your inseam, dumbass.”
“No, really. I mean, like,” he holds his hand up in a cupping position.
“Not everybody wants your nuts, Eno. She didn’t, get over it.” I roll my eyes at him.
“You’ll never convince me of anything different, full cuppage.” He rotates his head back and forth, and then runs his finger along the inside of the tight collar of the white dress shirt he’s wearing. “This monkey suit was so much more comfortable after Jo took it off me the night of the auction.” He looks over at us and smiles. “Hope I get that same action the night of the wedding.”
“Eno,” Leo growls.
“What?”
“Shut up.” Leo clears his throat as the seamstress rejoins us to start measuring him.
“Hollis’s dress is truly beautiful, and she looks gorgeous in it.” She talks as she runs the measuring tape up the inside of Leo’s leg. I watch the look on his face shift to surprise when she reaches the apex of his thighs.
Stifling a laugh, I watch her do his other leg and he grimaces. “I’m sure she does, ma’am. I can’t wait to see her in it,” I say, never taking my eyes off of Leo’s shocked face.
She stands with a wide grin on her face. “Arms out.” She holds hers out to her sides and Leo mimics her motions.
When she walks around to his back, he looks over at me, wide-eyed and mouths, “Oh my God.” He shakes his head as she runs her hands around his barrel chest with the measuring tape.
When she goes back to the counter to write his measurements down, Eno comes to a stop in front of him, smiling. “See? I told you.”
Leo just purses his lips and nods his head.
Its Cowboy’s turn next, and when she runs her hand up the inside of his leg, he moves his hips. “Watch the goods.” Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks down at her.
After we all spend two hours getting groped and rubbed, we walk out of the boutique and head straight for the clubhouse. “I feel so violated,” Eno says, rubbing his chest as he climbs into the third-row seat of Leo’s massive SUV.
“I think Piper had that shit done on purpose.” Cowboy lifts his big frame into the passenger side seat, looking back at me.
Dalton begins to laugh. “You know, I bet that crazy ass woman did.” He’s the only one who would think such a sick joke is funny.
“I need to go home and bathe.” Eno wrinkles his face as he tucks his hands between his legs, holding his own balls.
“Pregnant Tessa would have tripped balls on that poor woman if she would’ve came today like she wanted to,” Matthew says, barely being able to stifle his laughter.
Leo looks at him in the rearview. “Oh yeah, getting to those massive amounts of pregnancy hormones now, are we?”
Matthew shakes his head and holds one hand up in the air, the other over his heart. “I swear to God we’re either fucking or fighting, or she’s asleep or crying. I can’t win for losing, and I breathe too loud.”
Leo barks out a laugh. “Avery would scream at me because she swore she could hear me fucking thinking.”
“I remember when Emily was pregnant.” Cowboy’s comment shuts us all up. When he notices, he looks around. “I can talk about it. She would eat pickles and Cheetos constantly. I was running out to the store at three and four in the morning for that shit. Oh, and she loved to give me head,” he says with a satisfied smile. He throws his meaty hand up and points at us. “You tell her that I told you that second part, and I will kill you all in your sleep.”
~~~~~~
Hollis
“You look fine, sweetheart,” Avery says as Tessa turns in the full-length mirror.
“Please, Avery, don’t blow smoke up my ass. I look like an Oompa Loompa.” Tessa comes to a stop to look at me and Avery.
Avery holds up her hands. “Believe me, honey, I promise you I am nowhere near your ass, especially after that fart you let rip in the car on the way over here.”
Tessa rubs her belly. “I can’t help it, everything I eat these days gives me indigestion.” She slumps down on the couch between us, laying her head back on the rest. She rolls her head to look at Avery. “You know how it is.” Then she looks to me, holding up both of her very swollen feet. “And I hope you don’t care if I’m barefooted because there’s no way I’m stuffing these sausages into anything other than flip flops.”
Avery leans up and begins pressing her fingers in the skin of Tessa’s foot. “The circulation seems to be fine, but if they get any bigger, you might be put on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. When is your next appointment?”
“Tomorrow,” Tessa says with a sigh. “He mentioned something about that when I was in his office last week, and I’ve been keeping my feet up as much as I can because I don’t want to spend the next month or so laid up in my bed.” I open my mouth, but she holds her hand up, stopping me. “No, Hollis, I’ve told you this before, we’re not postponing this thing for me. I’ll be fine, and you’re getting married.”
Avery leans up and looks around Tessa to me. “I think she’ll be fine if she gets plenty of rest and stays off her feet as much as possible.” Her eyes level on Tessa. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Tessa just rolls her eyes. “Yes, Mother.”
Josie walks out of the dressing room and turns for us. “Skinny bitch,” Tessa grumbles with a smile. “You know I love you.”
Josie smiles back as she leans in and kisses Tessa’s belly. “How are my boys?”
“Regretting the Mexican we ate for lunch.” Tessa shifts on the couch and tries to stand up, but can’t. Josie offers her a hand and helps pull Tessa to her feet.
Piper joins us. “I’m sure. Shit, woman, three fucking burritos? Anybody would have indigestion after that?” She spins and looks at herself in the mirror. The teal colors I’d chosen for Piper, Tessa, and Emily are perfect, and the purple on Josie and Avery is flawless. I smile as my friends and I sit and joke in the dresses they’ll be wearing the day I marry Roman.
~~~~~~
In the weeks that follow, Tessa was put on bed rest, so between working and putting the final touches on the wedding plans, we each took turns looking after her and keeping Jackson while Matthew was at work. It seems that I’ve been going non-stop, and it’s starting to catch up with me.
I walk into the house after another long day, only four days away from the wedding, and find Roman in the kitchen, cooking. He turns when he hears me enter and gives me the biggest panty-dropping smile. “Hey, gorgeous.” The smell of spaghetti and garlic bread fills the air, and my stomach gives an appreciative rumble.
“Hey you too.” Immediately, my arms are around his neck and his hands are at my waist. He leans in to give me a peck on the lips. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” I ask him as I push up on my toes to give him another kiss.
“I do take oral favors as gratitude.” The thought of what happened a couple of weeks ago drifts through my memory and I have to stifle a gag.
He can read me like and book and sees that I’ve traveled back to that completely embarrassing moment. “Shit, babe. Sorry, but I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Yes, I am,” I say on a big sigh, thankful there hasn’t been another reason for me to puke my guts out in front of him, but I’ve also not given him oral since, which is a big stretch for us.
He tilts his head, looking down at me. “You need a day off before the wedding. Let me send you to the day spa in town. You need your toes and nails done anyway.”
Although, most of the time I would argue with him for spending that kind of money on me, like I have been for the past couple of weeks anytime Piper suggests something extra for the wedding I don’t want, a day off the grid sounds wonderful.
“Call Emily and give her a heads-up that you’re taking the rest the week off.” He hands me my phone as he takes out his.
I open my mouth to argue. I’m not leaving my friend hanging like that. We have a full schedule of cleaning until Thursday. “Roman.” He stops me with a finger on my lips.
“Shh, she’ll understand, baby, and I want you well-rested and ready for the activities I have planned for us Saturday night.” He gives me a devilish smile before turning and placing his phone to his ear.
As Roman said, she was more than okay with it, so much so she decided to join me, along with the rest of my girls. By the end of the next day, I’ve been pampered, toes and nails set to perfection, and so relaxed from my massage, I’m as loose as a limp noodle by the time Emily drops me at the house.