‘Hi, gloomy. How’s things?’ Melissa asked as I quickly grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, groaning when I saw there wasn’t much else in there. I’d been back in London for a couple of weeks now, but hadn’t quite got used to fending for myself again. I still half expected Brian to come knocking on the door with a delivery of fresh vegetables and a box of homemade brownies or possibly find a breakfast basket outside the door of my flat. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I hadn’t heard from Drew since I left Karensa. I’d left a note on the kitchen worktop with my address and further contact details and knowing that he hadn’t attempted to use them made me feel all kinds of low.

That’s why Melissa had given me the gloomy nickname.

‘Good. Fine,’ I lied as I opened the bottle with a small crack.

‘Writing-wise or Drew-wise?’

‘As I haven’t heard from Drew, I couldn’t possibly make further comment without the need for a box of tissues, and as I haven’t been shopping in a while, the only thing I have in my bag is a sanitary towel, and that just won’t do.’

‘Hey, needs must. I won’t judge,’ Melissa replied.

‘Sobbing into a sanitary towel. How unsavoury.’

‘You’re better than that, girl!’ she laughed.

‘But…the writing is going great. I have a few more tweaks to make and it’ll be ready. Do you want to read it?’

‘Isn’t that what critique partners are for?’ she asked. ‘I’ve been desperate to get my hands on it and see what you’ve decided for the ending,’ she replied.

‘I’ll keep it secret. Don’t want to ruin the surprise.’

‘Hit send. I need it in my life,’ Melissa said, peering into the laptop and shaking her finger. ‘Have you decided on the trope?’

‘The romance writer who can’t get the scorned man to fall in love with her. Is that a trope?’

‘Make it up, girl. You can do anything!’

‘I’m not sure that’s a meta tag on Book+Main yet.’

‘Contact admin,’ she deadpanned.

‘It’s on my to-do list.’

‘Can I ask your opinion on something?’

‘Sure. Go ahead,’ I replied.

‘I’ve started a little something. Probably going to publish it exclusively on Book+Main.’

‘That’s exciting!’

‘Yeah. It’s a rom-com. Very sexy.’

‘Five heat flames all round,’ I replied.

‘I wrote a line this morning, but I’m not sure about it. Listen. I want to ride you till I break you.’ She enunciated each word individually, holding a finger up to ensure I got it.

I balanced my head in my hands. ‘Personally, I like it. It makes me imagine a strong female character who isn’t afraid to get what she wants.’

‘It’s M/M…’

‘Even better,’ I said, gasping. ‘Send it to me as soon as you’ve typed the last word.’

‘Will do, slightly-less-gloomy-than-the-other-day,’ she chuckled. ‘Wait, I jotted something else down in my notes last night.’ I heard her flicking through paper; a notepad came into view. ‘Do you think this is too much? He filled me up to the hinge.’

‘I’ve got the visual,’ I replied, rolling my eyes.

‘That’s what I’m aiming for.’

‘If it’s said slightly tongue in cheek—’

‘Or cock in mouth.’

‘That too,’ I said, arching my eyebrows. ‘Want to sprint? I’ve got around 3,000 words to write before I’m finished,’ I said, opening my notebook and sighing as I read the notes I’d made earlier about how the book was going to end. I still wasn’t sure.

‘Don’t rub it in. I’ve got about another 50,000.’

‘Actually, I’m still deciding how I’m going to finish it.’

‘Talk to me,’ she replied.

‘It doesn’t feel right to make up an ending.’

‘Is it any wonder? You haven’t had any closure.’

‘I’m sure that’s it,’ I replied, knowing full well that imagining an ending filled with promises of a better tomorrow, lifelong love and a wonderful partnership was just too hard when the reality was somewhat different.

‘I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but have you considered sending Drew a copy of the final book. He had such a strong reaction to The Woodcutter’s Chopper; how is he going to feel about this?’

I sighed. She was right. It was something I’d been losing sleep over. This book was much more personal. It was our love story. The ending of the book as unresolved as it was in real life.

‘I’ll send him a copy. It’s the right thing to do. Although I’ve changed everything to ensure he can’t be identified, he should still get to read it before anyone else.’

‘That’s my girl. It’s the British manners. If it were me, I’d have released it with the tagline, Get some therapy, Drew.’

‘Don’t say that,’ I replied, my voice shaking. I tried to collect myself. Paste on a smile. Use some humour. ‘That definitely would identify him and then I’d have to see him in court. Lawsuits are not pretty.’

‘I love you. You know that, right? You’ve handled this like a fucking pro, and I’m certain you’ve written a beautiful love story. Be proud! Send him the book wrapped in a bow! If he gets his head out of his ass, he’ll read it and see what you two had. Potential. So much potential it makes my heart break,’ she said, rubbing her forehead.

‘I’m going to need that sanitary towel if you carry on,’ I said, wiping my eyes. ‘Get to writing that book! If you find yourself stuck, you could always watch some gay porn. Win-win situation right there.’

‘Awesome. Here’s to great writing and great porn,’ Melissa laughed, waving as we ended our Skype call.

I sat back, switching the screen back to my manuscript. I was so close to finishing it, but for the past week, something had been making it much harder than it needed to be. I had spent most of the night staring at the screen, terrified that the words were lost again, now that I had left the island. I passed the writer’s block paperweight between my hands like a juggling ball and suddenly it hit me. I put the block down, tapping it with my finger in thought before grabbing my notebook. My heart rate accelerated, my lungs felt heavy as that beautiful moment where the book starts coming together made the words seem far less complicated than before. This could work. This was the only answer. This could lay the foundation for my own second-chance love story. I had no idea why this hadn’t come to me before. I picked up my pencil, opened the notebook and wrote three words.

To be continued…