Chapter One
Evie
Freshman Year
Campus was huge. That was all I kept thinking as I walked around, people constantly bumping into me. Classes started in two days and already coeds were handing out flyers for groups we should all be a part of. Fraternities and sororities were dressed to impress, smiling and shaking hands like politicians in the making. Three different sets of girls had already approached me. They’d told me I was pretty. Apparently that was really the only prerequisite to “rush” a sorority at SMU.
I’d never thought about joining any kind of Greek life before, but even I had to admit, those chicks made it sound appealing—a readymade group of friends, people who had to hang out with you no matter what. It was kind of like life on the compound, right? Growing up surrounded by all my cousins, I’d always had someone to talk to.
“Hi, I’m Hannah, and I’m the vice president at Kappa Delta, what’s your name?”
“Evie.” I studied her bright smile, trying my best to mirror it back to her. It’s not that I wasn’t a happy person; I was. But all the chaos surrounding me was hard to handle. I grew up in a small town. I went to a tiny school. The hustle and bustle of Dallas was a lot to take in.
“Great.” She handed me yet another flyer. At this point I could wallpaper my dorm room with neon-colored printouts. “Have you thought about rushing this fall? We are having a mixer tomorrow night and we’d love a chance to get to know you and talk a little more about what we’re all about.” Her smile got even wider. A feat I didn’t think possible until I saw it happen. “Which is sisterhood, of course.” She kind of laughed at the end of her sentence, like them being about anything else would be ludicrous.
I had a sister, a real one. Plus I had Landry, Halen, Avory and Marley. I wondered if this chick would think I was rude if I told her five was my quota and I’d already met it. “Maybe I’ll stop by.”
“How about I meet you at your dorm room? I can walk you to our house—that way you don’t get lost.” Hannah was still smiling like a damn Barbie, a toy none of us Devil’s Spawn girls had ever really enjoyed playing with.
“Uh. Okay, I guess so.” I wasn’t sure what made me say yes. Maybe it was that having friends seemed like an important part of college life. Maybe it was because I wasn’t sure what would happen to Hannah’s face if I turned her down. Maybe I was simply bad at being vocal about what I actually wanted. I’ll give you a hint: it was most likely the third option.
“Great.” She whipped out her phone and snapped a picture of me before I could stop her. “What dorm? I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
“Whitmore.” As a rule, our parents didn’t like strangers taking pictures of us. That’s normal paranoia when your dad is a rock star and your family runs one of the biggest record labels in the world.
“See you tomorrow at six sharp.” She quickly whirled around to her next victim, her movements reminding me of a robot. Or one of those Stepford Wives; they’d remade that movie like three times, there had to be a reason.
What would happen if I stood her up? She had my name, my picture and the name of my dorm. Would she spread gossip that I was a bitch? Or would she simply move on and pick up the next girl? As I made the trek back to my room, I kept my head down. I didn’t want to talk to any more blonde pageant queens. I wanted to lay on my bed, read a book and decompress. And to be completely honest, I wanted to cry a bit. I missed my family, and I missed my home.
I didn’t have all that much in common with my cousins, personality-wise. But living apart from them made me feel empty, like a piece of me was missing. The rest of the Devil’s Spawn were loud, almost crazy. They liked to have a good time; they liked to live like tomorrow didn’t matter. I observed from a distance as they experienced things like lust and recklessness. I never felt jealous, I never felt the itch to join them. I was more than content to applaud them from the sidelines.
“Oh, you’re back.”
My suitemate Samantha didn’t like me. I wasn’t really sure what I could have done in the past twenty-four hours to irritate her, but every time she looked in my direction she wrinkled her nose. I sent her a small, quick smile and then put my head back down on the way to my room. I thought the best course of action was to simply stay away from her until I could figure out her disdain. Or possibly grow a backbone and tell her to fuck the hell off.
“Yeah, she’s here.” I paused right inside my door when I heard Samantha lower her voice, only slightly. “When I found out I was suitemates with Evie James I thought I hit the damn jackpot.” She snorted. “But she’s nothing like I thought she’d be.” There was another pause while I fought back unwanted tears. “She’s quiet and boring, and I’d bet money that she’s a virgin too. She dresses like a fucking elementary school teacher.”
I looked at my black cropped pants and mustard blouse, my tears spilling over even though I mentally begged them not to. I shut my door quietly and curled up on my bed. I was homesick, my suitemate hated me, and apparently I was a boring virgin who couldn’t dress herself. I wanted to get in my car and drive back to the compound. I wanted a hug from my mom. Everything about the last day had overwhelmed me beyond belief. I suddenly felt like I was drowning on dry land—in my own tears, no less.
I thought college would be different from high school. I thought here I’d get to be my own person, that people would stop comparing me to my family…and finding me lacking. No one was outwardly mean to me back home. They knew better. Any one of my cousins would have gone to bat for me, no hesitation. But I could always hear people whispering behind my back. I didn’t measure up. I wasn’t a Devil’s Spawn in their eyes. I was a nobody. I was a girl born into a family she couldn’t keep up with.
I rolled onto my back, staring at my plain white ceiling. Dallas was a mere three hours north of my hometown. I could go see my cousins. I could let them surround me, let them fill me up with their love. They didn’t care that I liked to stay home, and they didn’t care that I didn’t drink or date. Was the compound the only place I’d ever feel like I belonged?
No.
I refused to run crying to my parents when I’d only been here less than two days. That would make me sad. And pathetic. And contrary to what my bitch of a suitemate thought, I was neither of those things. I sat up, swinging my black-ballet-flat-clad feet over the side. I simply needed to get out of here for a little while. Maybe I’d go off campus, grab a coffee, see what else this big city had to offer.