23
Carter froze, his rough chin resting on her smooth, soft skin. His lips twitched with a response, but, for the life of him, he had no clue what to say. With a soft sigh, he moved back up her body and cupped her face in his hands, resting his weight on his forearms at either side of her head.
“Kat,” he whispered with his nose inches from hers. He waited for her to look at him. “You’re here.” He let his thumb trace her pink cheek and watched the color deepen under his touch. “That’s all that matters.”
There was conflict in her eyes: fear, affection, hurt. Carter felt a sharp twist of unease. He knew she didn’t regret what they’d done. The way she’d held him, ridden him, whispered delicious words into his ear assured him of that. But he was hopelessly aware of the dangers surrounding her because of their actions.
The fact that he cared for Kat would make no difference to how people, her mother specifically, regarded him. He was an ex-con and, as such, was an untrustworthy bottom-feeder. No pretty words or fancy declarations could change that shit. She would never see him as anything else. Her fear and narrow-mindedness would blind her to what he truly felt for her daughter.
Carter’s heart squeezed. He had to pray that whatever the two of them had found together was enough to keep Kat with him for as long as possible. He wanted more with her, from her, and he was willing to step up to get it. She was worth all of the shit that would come his way, and he would be there to protect her as best he could.
Once Kat had been to the bathroom, giving them both a chance to clean up, she crawled back into bed, allowing him to wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She held him snugly around the waist. His palm rubbed across her back in comforting circles while her fingertips danced around his nipple. As new as the sensation was of cuddling a woman in his bed, the familiarity of it with Kat was as warm as the blankets around them.
Carter pressed his lips to her scalp. “Where did you go tonight?”
He didn’t want to upset her, but he was aching to find out what had led her to his doorstep after she’d screamed such hatred. What had triggered the realization that he had saved her rather than holding her back from helping her father?
“I wandered for a long time.” Her fingers gripped Carter’s side. “I didn’t know what to do. I was just— I just hurt. Everywhere.”
Carter held her closer.
“I eventually got home.” She paused. “I think I got a cab.” Her lips moved against his skin. “I called my mother.”
Carter’s hand halted its movement against her shoulder blade. “What?”
Kat scoffed. “I know. I must be fucking stupid to call her, huh?”
“Peach—”
“As soon as she heard it was me,” she interrupted fiercely, “she started telling me how disappointed she was about what happened at my grandmother’s. She said I was ungrateful for the people around me, the people that cared about me. That she only wanted what was best for me and I was too self-involved and caught up with you to see it.”
He swallowed. “She knows about me?”
She lifted from his shoulder to look at him. She was so close Carter had to shift his head back into the pillow to see her better.
“She knows I care for you.” Her index finger moved along his bottom lip. “She knows that we kissed.”
A cold shiver darted down Carter’s spine as the last seven days began to fall into place. “That’s why you left your family and friends. That’s why you came back from Chicago.” He smiled wryly. “They know.”
Kat shook her head. “They think they know what’s going on, but they don’t. They have no fucking idea.” The anger was clear in her voice. “Carter, you have to understand, my own mother thinks my choices are wrong and that I’m still a kid who knows nothing. She doesn’t know how much I love my job, how much I love what I do every day, how much I love—” Her eyes burned with fury. “You’re the only person who treats me like I’m me, who makes me feel like what I’m doing is right and meaningful. There’s no bullshit, no hiding with you.”
Her lips twitched with the beginnings of a smile. “And I began to see how hard it must’ve been for you to tell me about who you are.” Her palm slid down his jaw. “Carter, I know the only reason you didn’t tell me was because you were scared. You’re the only person on this planet who knows what I went through. And do you want to know something really ironic?” Her eyes blazed. “My family, my friends, the cops, my fucking therapist, they all said you weren’t real, that you were a figment of my imagination, a result of post-traumatic stress.” Kat nuzzled his cheek. “But you’re the most real thing in my life.”
Carter couldn’t answer. He was speechless and crazy for her touch. “Kat” was all he could utter before their mouths met. Three little words whispered relentlessly through Carter’s psyche, bubbling furiously, whipping away his breath. Swallowing them and the fear that forever accompanied them back down, Carter rolled Kat onto her back and settled at her side, lifting one of her legs over his hip. Although she moaned, the movement was not sexual in its intent. He wanted her again, but he wanted to reassure her more that he was real and that he would always be that way with her.
“Stay with me tonight.” He pushed her hair back, needing to see her whole face. “Please, Kat, just … just for tonight.” He searched for an answer in the depths of her eyes. “But don’t stay because you’re upset. Stay with me because you want to.”
The pleading words came from nowhere. All Carter knew was he meant them, and he needed her to say yes.
The smile that appeared on her face could have lit up Broadway. “I’m not going anywhere.”
* * *
The lobby of WCS Communications was just how Carter remembered it: pretentious, repugnant, and reeking of money. Even the damn furniture looked uncomfortable, as if the shit had been stolen from a torture chamber. Carter scoffed at the irony of that particular thought. The fact that he was in the building at all was torturous in itself. Fuck’s sake, he was ready to crawl out of his skin.
With a deep breath, he walked toward the raven-haired woman at the reception desk, hating the loud sound of his booted steps on the shiny wood floor, and waited patiently for her to finish her call.
“I have a two o’clock with Austin,” he grumbled when she did, rubbing his hand across his jaw.
“Mr. Ford.”
Carter blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Mr. Ford,” she repeated. “You have a two o’clock with Mr. Ford. Not Austin.” She smiled contemptuously.
“Whatever,” he snapped. “Just do your job and tell the prick that Carter’s here, will you?” The sound of her mouth dropping open bounded around the large room. “Thanks, Buttercup.”
He turned toward the heinous cream sofa situated ten feet from the desk and slammed down onto it. He adjusted himself to try to get comfortable, but the postage-stamp-sized cushions were about as cozy as having glass up his ass. The whole place appeared constructed just to make its occupants feel uneasy, and it was working. No wonder the receptionist was so fucking uptight.
“Wes.”
The hair on Carter’s neck stood on end and his lip lifted into an animalistic snarl at the sound of his cousin’s voice. Fucker knew Carter hated his given name, but he still insisted on using it frequently whenever they were in each other’s company.
“We’re ready for you,” Austin said, his poker face in full play.
Carter followed Austin into his office and immediately tried not to vomit at the elaborate artwork on the walls, the ostentatious desk, and the ridiculously incredible view over the rest of New York’s Financial District.
Fucker was totally compensating for something.
There were three other men standing in the room: Adam, who nodded cordially at Carter when he entered, and two others he’d never met before.
“Take a seat,” Austin said, gesturing to the high-backed leather seat situated by the humongous desk.
Carter sat down ungracefully, placing his ankle onto his knee. He blew out an impatient breath and tapped his fingertips against his thighs.
“So,” he drawled, glancing around the room. “Who are you?” He pointed to the suits standing by the window.
“This is Steve Fields, WCS’s lead attorney, and David Fall,” Austin answered. “He’s head of accounting and finance.”
“’Sup, Dave?” Carter smiled when he got no response. “I’m Carter.” He pointed to himself before whispering loudly, “Your boss.”
Austin coughed. “Well, actually, Wes—”
“Save the ‘Wes’ shit, Austin,” Carter barked, losing his patience. “Just explain to me why the hell I’m here so I can leave as soon as humanly possible. There’s only so much pretense and dick-sucking I can handle.”
Anger flared in Austin’s eyes. “Fine,” he replied. “You’re here so we can discuss the immediate dilution of your shares in WCS Communications.”
“Is that right?” Carter asked with a backward tilt of his head. Austin raised his eyebrows in reply and walked around his desk to take his leather-and-wood throne. “And just how do you think that shit’s gonna fly, Austin?” Carter continued. “The shares are in my name. They were given to me by our grandmother. The contract that was drawn up is legally binding on a scale that even your pathetic excuse for a law team can’t change it.” He waved his hand indifferently toward the lawyers. “You can’t dilute the shares because of the provisions on them. Granddaddy tried for years. It ain’t gonna happen.”
Austin looked at Steve and David. The two men sat down at Carter’s right. Adam remained standing to his left. Carter was being cornered. They were using blatant intimidation tactics.
“That’s why you’re here.” Austin smiled tightly. “So we can discuss the provisions in detail.”
Carter smirked. “You mean you wanna discuss how much it’s gonna cost you assholes to get rid of me, right? Can’t have an ex-con owning a billion-dollar company, now, can we? What would the papers say?”
Carter shook his head and turned to look out of the window. “It must really bug the shit out of you that I have the biggest share-holding in the company you were primed to take over, huh?”
“Not as much as it must bug the shit out of you that we have control over your money every month.” Carter’s head snapped back to Austin, whose face was pinched and hard. He sat forward. “I’d bear that in mind before you start with your sanctimonious bullshit, Carter. I kept your ass out of prison once; I can sure as hell get it back in there.”
Carter became very still. “You threatening me, Ford?”
“No,” Austin replied, “just reminding you that you’re not the only one with a set of cards to play.”
Carter was silent for a considerable amount of time before he continued in a low, even voice. “The money I receive, I have every right to claim. It’s mine. In fact, I should get more—”
“You would, if you didn’t have a criminal record.”
Carter hid the flinch of rage that pricked at his throat when Austin interrupted him. In truth, Carter couldn’t have given two shits about the money. He never had. What he cared about was that he was the rightful owner of the shares of which Austin spoke. Adam, who placed a very formal-looking document in front of Carter, broke the game of stare-down between Carter and Austin.
“You haven’t brought any legal representation,” Adam said pointedly. “It would be better if—”
“I can read, Adam. Just explain what it says and cut to the chase,” Carter barked, making his cousin flinch. “My lawyer can peruse that shit at his leisure.”
Adam fiddled with his cuffs and exhaled. “Upon dilution of your current shares, the money you receive monthly would be tripled. For life,” he said. “Instead of paying for an acquisition with shares, we’re offering you new shares in the firm. Shares worth in the region of five million—”
Carter snorted in derision. “Five million? Are you shitting me?”
He looked incredulously from Adam to Austin and back again. Both men remained silent. Carter rubbed his face in disbelief, aching for a smoke. “We all know the shares I own are in excess of five hundred million,” he scoffed. “I was expecting to be impressed with your offer, not insulted.” Carter pushed the papers across Austin’s desk and slammed back in his seat. “Try again.”
Austin visibly bristled and took a deep breath that made his shoulders lift. “For someone who claims to not give a shit about the business, you sure seem to be protective and knowledgeable about it all.”
“Austin,” Carter fumed. “There is a huge fucking difference between not giving a shit and not appreciating being handled and played by an asshole who thinks he’s God’s gift because he wears an expensive suit. I went to prison, not fucking dunce school. Your offer is shit. You know it. I know it. So, like I said, try again.”
The silence was deafening. “Fine,” Austin murmured. “I’ll get my law team and finance team to reevaluate, and we’ll get back to you.”
“Can’t wait,” Carter retorted. “May I be excused?” he asked with his hands on the arms of his chair.
Austin didn’t answer but dipped his chin minutely, his stare fierce and angry.
“Thank fuck,” Carter grumbled. “I have a literature session to get to.”
As Carter stood, he noticed both his cousins react instantly to his words. Adam, who was still standing to Carter’s left, shifted nervously, while Austin rubbed his palms together.
“Oh yes,” Austin said as Carter began walking across the office. “How is Kat?”
Carter froze with his hand on the door and gripped the cold steel in his fist. The question hung around the room like a putrid smell. It was, to anyone who didn’t know better, a simple, polite question. To Carter, the question reeked of a possessiveness that nobody but him had any right to feel. How the fuck did he know Kat?
Carter’s heart pinched. He turned slowly, attempting to keep his expression neutral. Still, as soon as his eyes met Austin’s, Carter knew he was on thin ice. Asshole knew. What exactly wasn’t clear, but he knew something. Carter’s eyes darted to Adam, who was now apparently fascinated with his shoes.
Carter took a breath. “Kat,” he replied through a tight throat, “is just fine.”
Like a snake ready to strike, Austin smiled. “Oh, good,” he said with too much enthusiasm. “I was hoping she was.”
“Were you?” Carter seethed. His right eye twitched and his nostrils flared.
“Absolutely,” Austin replied, standing from his seat. He moved around his desk. “Oh, didn’t you know? Adam’s engaged to Beth, who’s known Kat for years. We’re friends, Kat and I. I knew she had family to see in DC and Chicago, so I haven’t seen her since her birthday party.”
Carter swallowed and bit his tongue so hard he could taste blood. “Birthday party?”
It was then that Carter noticed the absence of Austin’s wedding ring.
“Oh, yeah,” Austin answered. “We had dinner. Then I drove her home. We had a great time.” He fucking grinned. “She loved my gift. She’s a great girl. Beautiful, too, but I guess … you know that.”
Carter shook with ferocious violence.
Austin and Kat had dinner? She’d been with him. In his car. Alone? Had she invited him up to her apartment? Did that mean they’d …?
Bile rose in his throat at the same time an agonizing pain hacked through him.
Austin continued. “I’m planning to take her out again, you know, go on a date and get her mind off work and less important matters.” Austin gestured toward Carter and grinned. “Like her students.”
Through the furious red haze, Carter could see the son of a bitch was goading him, taunting him, like a kid with a stick through the bars of the lion’s cage, waiting for the inevitable snap, wanting him to lash out and play right into Austin’s greedy fucking hands.
Sure enough, the rope of sanity Carter was holding on to within himself was thinning rapidly, while the grip he had on it was tenuous at best. He wanted nothing more than to grab Austin by his neck, rip off his balls with his bare hands, and throw him out of his office window.
But then, where would that leave him? Where would that leave Kat? His ass would be sent back to prison quicker than he could say, Fuck you, Ford. Parole would be a thing of the past. He and Kat would be a thing of the past.
With Herculean effort, and with the image of his Peaches the night before, writhing and begging for him as he fucked her in his bed, Carter took a huge breath.
“Well, Austin,” he said through clenched teeth, “I’ll be sure to let Kat know you were asking about her.”
Austin was instantly perplexed. Carter turned back toward the door.
“But I wouldn’t hold your breath for that phone call,” Carter added, glaring over his shoulder at his cousin.
“Oh, really?” Austin spat, no longer hiding the aggressive jealousy in his voice. “And why’s that?”
“Well, as you pointed out, she’s busy with her students. And with me”—he glanced down at his own crotch before looking back at Austin with a smug-ass grin on his face—“her hands are always full.”
Without waiting for a response, Carter yanked the office door open, causing the hinges to squeal in protest. The inevitable slam behind him was all that Carter heard as he stormed through the lobby, past the raven-haired bitch at her desk, while lighting a cigarette and flipping a finger at the No Smoking sign above the WCS exit.
* * *
As the clock struck five after four, Kat found herself alone in the reading room of the library, playing on her newly purchased iPhone. She’d had a free couple of hours between leaving Arthur Kill and her session with Carter, and had managed to make it home to upload all that she needed onto it. She couldn’t live without her music. Not for another day.
She’d been more than a little hesitant about putting the rescued SIM card from her old phone into it, and as the phone began to beep incessantly with missed calls, voice mail messages, e-mails, and texts, she suddenly realized why. She scrolled through them slowly. Beth’s name, her mother’s, Ben’s, Adam’s, Austin’s, and Carter’s all made appearances. After listening to the fifth voice mail from her mother, she deleted the remaining six, not wanting or needing to hear her abhorrence one more time.
The one name she did pause at was Carter’s. He’d sent a number of texts on the days she’d been driving from Chicago back to New York, and each one seemed more frantic than the last. The texts from Beth, on the other hand, were short and succinct:
Call me.
We need to talk.
I’m so sorry.
Kat didn’t allow herself to get mad. Beth wasn’t worth it, and besides, anything she had to say was worth shit at this point.
Austin’s messages, as always, were charming and concerned:
Hey, Kat, hope you’re well. Give me a call.
Kat, Adam called. He and Beth are worried about you. I am, too. Regardless of what they’ve told me, I’m here if you need a friend. X
Thinking of you. Austin. X
“Fuck,” Kat muttered, deleting every one before throwing her cell into her bag.
Despite his omitting his link to Carter, Austin was a polite, handsome, charismatic guy. She’d enjoyed his company and enjoyed the kiss they’d shared. It was … pleasant.
In retrospect, Kat realized that there was never the burning passion with him that she felt every time she was in Carter’s presence. The small flickers of attraction she had for Austin were nothing compared to the all-out inferno that occurred each time Carter touched her, kissed her, fucked her.
Her insides clenched at the memory of his large, solid body between her thighs, his heavy breaths and moans of more in her ear, his unrelenting hold on her hips, and his exquisite face as he chased and rode every orgasm. God, he was glorious. He’d obliterated every past lover she’d had, leaving her feverish with her want and hungry for more. The aches of pleasure he’d left in the muscles she hadn’t known existed were luscious.
Her skin blushed with the recollection of his stubbled kisses and the sensation of his silver rings, which had pinched her thighs as he’d slammed home, leaving vivid red marks that he’d licked in apology. Fuck.
She glanced at the empty doorway of the reading room. Where the hell was he? Kat knew Carter had “stuff” to do, and, as far as he knew, she was still without a cell phone, which explained the silence.
Nonetheless, Kat was hit abruptly with a worrying thought. Would Carter start to take liberties with their sessions now that they’d been intimate? Would he really think she wouldn’t kick his ass all over Manhattan for being late just because he’d given her numerous orgasms?
Kat’s leg twitched as her anger increased. He’d be in for one hell of a surprise if that was the case. Punchy and agitated, Kat rose from her seat and began to wander around the reading room, heading for her favorite section: poetry.
With the tip of her index finger placed against the spines of the books, Kat meandered down the aisle between two huge mahogany bookshelves. The smell of the leather, ink, and wood was rich and comforting, and reminded her of her father’s library at the house they’d owned in Westchester. Her father would read Rossetti and Blake to her when she was very young, and always when she was upset or hurt. She stopped when she came to the romantic poets, specifically Wordsworth, immediately needing his imagery of an English countryside and swaying daffodils to ease her mind.
Suitably calmed and incredibly nostalgic after reading three of his poems, Kat replaced Wordsworth and pulled down a small black book with gold-leaf font filled with sonnets, poems, and declarations of love. Holding the book in one hand, she leafed through the yellowing pages with the other when suddenly every single hair on the back of her neck stood on end.
Someone was behind her.
Before she could think about who it was or what they were doing, a large hand clasped her shoulder and swung her around, backing her into the shelves of the bookcase. The book she’d been holding fell from her hands to the floor with a loud slap.
Dizzy from being spun at speed, it took Kat a moment to find her bearings and focus on the face before her, and when she did, she wished immediately that she hadn’t.
The tip of Carter’s nose was inches away, while his breath washed over her face in strong heated waves. His broad chest pressed firmly against her.
But that wasn’t what made Kat’s throat close in panic. It was the expression on his face. His eyes were so dark the blue was almost indistinct, and the edges of his perfect mouth curled up into a hateful snarl. He was ferocious. She opened her mouth to speak, but Carter’s hand was at once covering it, holding her words tightly in a palm that smelled of smoke and mint.
“Don’t,” he rasped. He closed his eyes and shook his head. His nostrils flared and his hold on her tightened. “Just don’t speak.”
Kat’s eyes widened, but she nodded in compliance, causing the metal of his rings to rub against her skin. She watched him, fascinated by his jaw as it clenched and twitched along with the small beads of sweat scattered along his hairline and buzzed sideburns. She knew what that sweat tasted like.
He blew air out from between his pursed lips before he finally began to speak. “I just came from a very … interesting meeting.” He spoke every word quietly to his large boots.
With his right hand still covering Kat’s lips and his left hand squeezing her hip, Carter gradually lifted his head and let his stare rest on hers. His eyes filled with every conceivable emotion. The overwhelming urge to hug him and take away the pain lacing his words struck Kat in the gut.
“Do you know who my meeting was with?”
Kat frowned, shaking her head. Carter’s smile was grim. He moved forward, stopping only when his lips were by her cheek.
“My cousin,” he whispered. He stood back so he could see her face. “Austin Ford.”
A shiver ran through Kat’s body when the fury in his eyes ignited with his words. She knew her face had paled with nausea. What the hell had Austin said? Carter’s response was immediate. His jaw loosened at the same time that his hand dropped from her mouth. His left hand remained holding her, his fingers pushing deeper into her hip.
“It’s true?” Carter murmured through lips that barely moved. A small V appeared between his eyebrows as his gaze flitted questioningly over her face.
Kat took a breath. As caught off guard as she was by his behavior, she had to remain calm for both of their sakes. “Is what true?”
The slam of Carter’s fist connecting with the mahogany shelving at the side of Kat’s head echoed around the room like a nuclear bomb.
“Don’t play with me, Kat!” Carter thundered. “Don’t you fucking dare!”
“I’m not,” she replied evenly, blinking back his angry words.
“Just a yes or no,” Carter continued darkly. “That’s all I want.”
Kat’s heart sank. Dread crept up her spine. “I don’t know, Carter. What are you asking me?”
“Austin. The fucking …” He released a long hiss of breath, steadying himself by leaning his body against her. “He said that—that you … Did you?”
“Did I what?” she whispered.
Carter’s eyes flashed rapidly between light and dark. “Did you fuck him?”
Kat’s mouth dropping open made an audible pop. “Sweetheart.”
“NO!” he barked. “Don’t do that. Not now. Just yes or no.” He kicked at the bottom shelf before dropping his forehead and muttering into Kat’s shoulder. “Did you fuck him?”
Kat stood, almost paralyzed, with Carter breathing into the skin of her neck.
“Did you, Kat?” he asked again in a voice close to defeat. “Please tell me.”
Slowly, so as not to alarm him, Kat raised her hand from where it had been hanging lifelessly at her side and brought it to Carter’s face. He flinched at her touch. Not to be deterred, she persevered and eventually her fingertips were dancing lightly across his cheek and jaw.
Carter eventually looked at her, his face furious.
“No,” Kat murmured, moving her palm from his cheek, down his neck. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t.” She rubbed her hand around in a small circle, praying it would ease him.
His relief was evident only in the way his grip on her lessened. His face still held a million and one emotions and questions. He licked his lips and shifted from one foot to the other. “You didn’t?”
“Never, Carter.”
His eyes moved down her body. It wasn’t in the sexual way Kat had started to grow used to; instead, it was as though he was seeing her for the first time since he’d twisted her into the books.
“You didn’t,” he whispered finally, apparently seeing what he needed. He took an unsteady step back, releasing Kat, and stared at her in a way that made her want to laugh and cry all at the same time. He was worn and weary, having become the complete antithesis of the raging creature he had been. Kat stood up straight and made to take a step toward him.
Carter put his palm up to stop her. His eyes dropped to her feet. “Don’t,” he said with a frown. “I’m … I … Just stay there.”
Even though it broke her heart, Kat stepped back. She stood, watching Carter slowly morph back into the man she knew. The tightness of his jaw dissolved, along with the tension across his shoulders, but the sadness in his eyes remained.
“I didn’t know,” he muttered. “I didn’t know you knew him. That you—”
“He’s not important—”
“You had dinner with him.” Carter jutted out his chin, daring her to deny it.
Kat pressed her lips into a tight line. “There was a group of us. For my birthday. It wasn’t like a date or anything—”
“He drove you home,” Carter added. Kat dipped her chin in affirmation and Carter’s face scrunched as though suffering a raging headache. “You were alone with him.”
Kat bit her lip while her hands fisted at her waist. How stupid she had been to keep this from him. She’d cursed her family for not being truthful, and she’d done the exact same thing to the most important person in her life. She was no better than they were.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I only found out that you were related at my grandmother’s last week.”
He looked toward the ceiling. “Did anything happen?”
Kat exhaled. The sound was the only confirmation she gave.
“You kissed him?”
Her eyes met his briefly as she whispered a tiny “Yes.”
Carter’s head snapped back. He hit it hard against the large books behind him. “Shit.”
“Carter.” Kat took a tentative step forward. “Please, talk to me.”
“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” he retorted, glaring over her head.
“There’s plenty to talk about,” Kat said firmly. “You’re upset, and I want to make it right. You have to let me explain.”
“Explain what?” Carter snapped. “Explain that while I was in prison, wanting you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, you were allowing my cousin to stick his filthy tongue down your throat?”
“Hey!” Kat took another step while pointing a finger in his face. “That isn’t fair. I didn’t know he was your cousin, and I didn’t know you wanted me! You treated me like a goddamn pariah every time I saw you. How the hell would I know?”
Carter avoided her stare and toed the floor petulantly.
Kat dropped her finger as his words sank into her heart … wanting you more than I’ve wanted anything … Had he wanted her that much even then? She moved closer and placed her hands timidly on his hips. “Carter.” She moved her hands to his shoulders. “Look at me.”
He ignored her. His hands had turned into fists so tight his knuckles were white. Kat’s hands continued moving to his neck, which was flushed with his temper, up to his sharp jaw, covered in the rough stubble that had marked her so wonderfully.
“Carter, look at me.” Kat pulled his face to hers. His eyes rested on her chin. “Please.”
He shifted once more, slouching so that Kat was no longer on her tiptoes. His eyes moved up her face slowly. He stared at her, not speaking. He eventually moved his hands to her waist, squeezing her once before closing his eyes.
“I hate that he’s touched you,” he whispered.
“He hasn’t.”
A mystified expression crossed his face. Kat rubbed her hand down his temple.
“No one has ever touched me like you.” She drew her nose across his chin, breathing in his rich scent. “No one has ever kissed me like you.”
“Kat,” Carter whimpered, placing his forehead against hers.
“I never wanted him.”
“Peaches.”
“Carter, listen to me,” she urged, taking his hands. “I liked him; he was charming.” Carter made to pull away, but Kat held firm. “And yes, we kissed. But do you know why we didn’t do more? Why I couldn’t do more? Why every time he asked me out, I avoided giving him an answer?”
Carter stared at the floor.
“Ask me why.”
A soft groan rumbled in his throat. “Why?”
“Because every time I was with him, every single time he touched me, I thought of you.”
Carter’s eyes were desperate to believe her, but something in the way his mouth twitched and his eyebrow lifted told her he was doubtful.
“It’s the truth,” she added. “I promise you. I wanted you, too. For so long. I still want you so much. I …”
“What?”
“I’m so sorry that he upset you and made you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” he admonished. “I couldn’t. It’s him I hate. I hate what he stands for—his greed, his pretentious arrogance, and the fact that since we were kids, he’s wanted things of mine he has no fucking right to want.”
The double meaning in his words wrapped around Kat’s lungs. Mine.
Quietly, Carter told her what had happened at the meeting, detailing Austin’s intentions to remove Carter from the company he legally owned.
“Austin and I never got along,” he explained. “Adam and I are closer in age so, when we ever did see each other as kids, we’d play together. Austin was the firstborn of our generation, the one to take over the company from our grandfather. He was groomed for it and became cocky and arrogant. Even at the age of fifteen he was a smart-mouthed prick.
“I remember one particular day,” he continued, “when my mom had taken me from my dad for the weekend; we were at my grandparents’ house, which was a fucking nightmare anyway because my grandfather couldn’t stand the sight of me.”
Carter shook his head.
“My grandmother was completely different. She was cool. She would bake cookies and buy me awesome presents for Christmas and birthdays. She was the reason why we spent so much time at their house. My mom would dump me there, and my grandmother and I would hang out.” Carter scratched his head. “I think it was Thanksgiving. Austin started the minute he arrived. He was a smart motherfucker. He was never obvious with his little comments about how I wasn’t wanted, how he’d heard from my aunt that I was a disappointment to the whole family. He was relentless. Adam just stood there, not saying a word. When it was just the two of us, he’d apologize for his brother, but never in front of him.”
Carter smiled wryly. “Nothing fucking changes. The little comments about my father, and the fact that I was more or less a dirty little secret, went on for the whole weekend. And eventually I snapped. I punched him in the face. He hit the floor, but I couldn’t stop. I punched, smacked, kicked at him, and the whole time, all I could think was that I wanted him to hurt just as much as I did. My grandfather pulled me off him, and he got a couple of slaps for his troubles. Until he slapped me back. He said I should have been given away, and that I would do nothing but bring shame on the family. Just like I had done since the day I was conceived.”
“Oh, Carter,” Kat whispered, placing her hand on his neck.
“My grandmother went bat-shit crazy.” Carter laughed lightly. “I think I get my temper from her.” Kat smiled. “She took me from him and we went to her beach house.” He paused, lost in the memory. “She cried. I remember, she cried and apologized. I didn’t know why she was apologizing. She hadn’t done anything wrong.” Carter looked down at his hands and shook his head. “I hated seeing her cry.”
“How old were you?”
“Six.” Carter cleared his throat. “Within two years, my mom was dead,” he continued. “And I was being sent to boarding school via my mother’s wishes in her will. My father, he just went along with it …” Carter trailed off, clearly uncomfortable.
“I was thrown out of most of the schools I went to. I hated every fucking minute. If I wasn’t thrown out of school, I ran away. The older I got, the more I came to understand that if I made a big enough noise, caused enough shit, the more likely it was that the Fords would have to deal with me instead of shipping me off in the hopes that I’d never come back.”
Kat’s hand rubbed circles on Carter’s shoulder. Her heart broke wide-open for the small boy within the man before her.
“I don’t know how he was with you, Kat,” Carter said, “but Austin Ford is dangerous. He’s selfish and greedy.” Hate lit his irises. “And it makes me fucking sick that he’s been anywhere near you.”
“I’m sorry.” What more could she say?
Not caring where they were, Carter wound his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I scared you.”
“You didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.” Carter rubbed his palm over the small of her back. “And I’m sorry. I’m just …”
“I know.” She knew how hurt she would be if the circumstances were reversed.
He pressed his lips together. “The idea of you being with anyone makes me wanna tear the city up,” he confessed. “But him?” He shook his head slowly. “Thinking that you’d been with him fucking killed me.” His heart thrummed under her palm.
“I’m with you,” she whispered. “I promise. I don’t want anyone else.”
His eyes burned. “I don’t want anyone else, either. It’s so perfect when it’s just us, away from all this shit.”
Kat fought through the haze of delight his words brought, thinking carefully for a moment. “You know, I have a friend … Ben.”
Carter’s brow furrowed, menace skipping across his face. “Ben? A friend, huh? Should I be worried?”
Kat brushed away the deliberate anxiety wrapping his question with a roll of her eyes. “Hardly. He’s a lawyer, among other things.” She bit the inside of her mouth. “He could help you. With Austin.”
“How could he help?”
Kat chuckled. “Ben could find dirt on just about anybody. That’s his job.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he could find something you could use against him.”
Carter’s lips twitched. “Fight fire with fire, you mean.”
“It’s worth a shot, right?”
Carter considered her offer. “I know Austin has been known to do business with some dodgy fucking characters. Adam has always been the one to clean up his shit.”
Kat smiled. “That sounds like Ben’s forte.”
Carter regarded her carefully. “You’d do that for me?”
“I want you to have what’s rightfully yours. You deserve that.”
His exhale shook from him. “You’re something else, you know that?” The pad of his thumb whispered across her bottom lip. “Thank you. I owe you.” He paused. “Maybe I could do something for you.” He nibbled his lip adorably, hesitant. “We could— I could take you … I mean, do you— What, um, I was wondering. I … Dammit.” He rubbed his face. “I’m shit at this.”
Kat made to move back, to give him some space, but his hand flew to her waist, stopping her.
Carter closed his eyes and spoke in one long breath. “Do you have plans for this weekend? Because if you don’t I’d like to take you somewhere. If you don’t want to I understand, but I’d really like you to come with me. I want to spend some time with you. I mean, I don’t know …” He muttered a number of colorful curses before he shoved the tips of his fingers into his jean pockets.
Kat folded her hands together nervously. “Just us?”
Carter’s eyes shot up, blazing blue and hopeful. “Yeah.”
She cupped his cheek, smiling warmly. “I’d love to.”
Carter blinked, not attempting to hide his surprise. “Really?”
Kat laughed. “I said so, didn’t I?”
His chest rumbled with a low self-mocking laugh.
He glanced toward the empty reading room doorway and reached for her hand, clasping it gently between his large fingers. He tilted his head to the right. “I know it’s against session rules, but I’m fucking dyin’ to kiss you.”
Kat instinctively licked her lips.
“Just a small one.” His thumb snuck under the edge of her blouse, skimming her stomach, igniting the glowing embers in her blood. “Just a small taste.”
Kat moaned deep in her throat, hearing the words he’d spoken the first time he’d ever kissed her. As soon as their lips met, her body relaxed. She forgot about the rules and risks. She forgot about Austin, her mother, and Beth.
All that mattered were his hands on her face, the strength of his body, and the way his tongue possessed every inch of her mouth.
She grasped his belt loops and pulled him closer, not giving a damn whether anyone saw.