CHAPTER 32

Noise from the realm dinner continues well past dawn. The nobles who haven’t retired to their rooms by now have apparently inebriated themselves into thinking that Griffin’s plans came from them in the first place, and are bloody good ones at that.

“To the health of the realm!” someone still in the garden shouts. Griffin’s new toast. Clever, really.

I can’t sleep, partly because Griffin hasn’t come back, and partly because I haven’t been pounded this hard with lies and truths since I was a kid. I hadn’t forgotten the toll it took. I just did it anyway. For Griffin. Now, I’m aware of every aching bone in my body. Even the tiny ones burn.

I give up on resting and climb out of bed. My arms and legs tremble as I force them into clothing that sticks to my clammy skin. Keeping my head down, I leave the castle using a discreet side door and then stumble past the royal bathhouse toward the women’s pool adjacent to the barracks. I’d rather face early-rising soldiers than drunken nobles.

Morning sunshine slants through the high, arched windows, dappling the water with puddles of light. In a haze of pain and fatigue, I slip out of my clothes and sink into the deserted pool with a sigh. I should have done this hours ago instead of waiting—and hoping—for Griffin to return.

I spread out my arms and float in a patch of sunlight, half-asleep, my ears underwater. Naked. Relaxed. Healing.

A sharp pain splits my middle. I gasp, water spilling into my mouth as my eyes fly open, and my hands dart to my belly. I stare in shock at the knife sticking out of my stomach, blood billowing from me like a watery sunset.

Bare feet pad almost silently across the marble floor. My head whips around. Daphne.

She’s always watching me. I guess her lurking finally paid off. “Throwing a knife from the shadows is something only a coward would do.”

She shrugs. “It worked.”

“Griffin will never forgive you.” I use one hand to help me float. The other is pressed to my stomach, around the knife’s blade.

“Griffin won’t ever know I was here. There are hundreds of strangers in the castle tonight. Any one of them could have struck you down.”

Air hisses between my teeth. My breathing turns harsh from the pain blistering my middle. “He doesn’t love you.”

“He will,” she grates out, as if saying it makes it true. “Once you’re out of the way.”

Good Gods. Considering the powerful and horrible people that have tried to kill me, it would be enormously disappointing if Daphne were the one to manage it.

I open my mouth, but my Dragon’s Breath fails me. I’m still too drained from last night. It doesn’t matter. I have other ways to kill.

“I was doing my best to tolerate you,” I growl, “but now I’m mad.” I tear the knife from my stomach and send it back. My feet don’t touch the bottom of the pool to steady me, and pain rips my insides as I throw. The knife is heavier than any of mine, but I’m used to working with different blades, and I’ve had plenty of practice adapting on the fly. I don’t go for some ridiculous, slow-death stomach wound. I aim straight for the eye and hit it. Daphne goes over backward, her head cracking against the marble floor.

The satisfaction I ought to feel is absent. I feel…bleak. And light-headed. Panting, I struggle toward the shallow end of the pool. I shouldn’t stay in the water, but it dilutes the blood.

A chill seeps into me, and I start shivering. My heart is heavy, my skin cold. It’s getting harder to breathe. I didn’t want to be right about dying young, and I never thought it would happen like this. The pool is turning pink with my blood, and that’s all I can see.

That, and Griffin’s face when he finds me.

Just hours ago, I was sure I’d never use compulsion on a person, but I start calling for Griffin in my head. I don’t know what else to do, and summoning help isn’t exactly altering minds. But it’s always been those small, seemingly innocuous steps that terrified me, along with Mother’s voice in my head.

He doesn’t come. Maybe he’s too far away. Maybe I’m too weak. More likely he’s immune to compulsion, or maybe I’m just no good at it. The glacial shard around my neck starts turning the water around it to ice. It feels me fading and is working for me.

I’m not ready to give up yet. I never give up. Shadows creep into the edges of my vision, but I push Griffin from my mind and concentrate on sunny blond hair and cobalt eyes.

Kato! Kato! I need you!

I shout for him and picture myself in the bathhouse until everything goes distant and numb. No large, sturdy, dependable man bursts through the doors like I think he will, and I realize I’ve been incredibly stupid. I should have gotten out of the water while I still had the strength to find help.

Slowly, too slowly, I move toward the stairs, water still up to my breasts and my hand gripping the edge of the pool. Blood pounds in my ears, and the steps never seem to get any closer. My legs give out, my hand slides off the edge, and my head slips underwater. Silence engulfs me. I’m going to drown. How utterly ironic.

In this soundless place, my eyes close, and I stop breathing until my body chooses for me. The first liquid lungful burns my chest, choking me. The second rushes in, filling me up. My neck suddenly stings, like someone’s taken a blade and slashed the skin below my ears. The last bubbles of air leave my lungs just as strong hands grip my upper arms and drag me out of the water.

Someone lays me flat on the marble floor. “Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead.”

Kato’s voice shatters the darkness enfolding me.

“Breathe!” he bellows, slamming his hands down on either side of my head.

My chest convulses, and water spews from my throat, gagging me. I choke and cough and breathe, tearing at my wound. The stinging pain in my neck disappears as quickly as it came.

“Get Griffin!” Kato shouts.

Someone sprints out of the bathhouse, the heavy gait ringing like Flynn’s.

“The blood…” I mumble, my lips numb.

“To the Underworld with the blood!” Kato presses his hand to my stomach. I gasp, my body jerking in response.

A few minutes must pass. It feels like seconds. Maybe I black out. Griffin’s voice reaches me next, rough with panic. “Cat! My Gods, Cat!”

Griffin never panics. He’s always infuriatingly calm. I raise my hand, groping for him, and he catches my fingers, squeezing them so hard it hurts.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, forcing my eyes to open. When he comes into focus, I wish I hadn’t tried so hard to see. The look on his face terrifies me. I see my death in his harrowed gaze, in the stark lines and stricken planes.

“Don’t die,” he orders gruffly. “Don’t you dare die.”

Tears spill from my eyes and slide hotly down the sides of my face.

“Gods damn it!” Griffin explodes. He turns to his brothers. They must have arrived with him. “Piers! Get that healer.”

There’s only one healer among the guests, a solitary man who kept shooting Griffin and me dirty looks during dinner.

“I don’t know which room he’s in.” Piers hesitates. “He didn’t seem friendly.”

“I don’t care!” Griffin snarls. “Get him! Carver, go to the circus grounds. They’re back. Bring Selena here.”

They both leave immediately. If the circus is outside of Sinta City again, I know where Selena is. It’ll take an hour to get there and back. I don’t have that long. I’m surprisingly resistant to death, so I might have made it if I hadn’t been so worried about the blood and Andromeda tracing me to here. I never thought it would take so long for someone to find me. It was stupid to stay in the water. I hate Mother more than ever. She’s cost me everything. Again.

I shiver, my teeth rattling. “I’m cold.”

Griffin visibly pales. He picks me up and cradles me against his chest. His heat feels like a balm, but it’s not enough to warm me. Kato doesn’t take his hand off my wound. He’s up to his elbow in my blood and as white-faced as Griffin.

Flynn paces frantically before taking off at a run. “I think I know where a healer is!”

“Walk with me,” Griffin orders Kato. They leave the bathhouse with me sheltered between them, taking the side entrance to the castle and climbing the stairs. “How did you find her?”

“She was shouting in my head. I thought it was a dream, but it didn’t feel right, so I got Flynn up, and we went searching.”

Griffin’s arms tense around me. “You should have called me.”

Jealous? Even now? “Tried. Didn’t work.”

He glances down, looking even more stricken. “I should have done something about Daphne. I never thought…”

“Not your fault.” I wish I’d been more truthful with him, and not just about Daphne.

In our room, Griffin goes to lay me on the bed, but I rouse myself enough to protest. Whatever my blood touches will have to be destroyed. “Can’t burn the bed.” It’s the only place I’ve ever felt happy, and safe.

Kato grabs a blanket with his free hand and throws it on the thick sheepskin rug. Griffin sets me down without Kato ever taking the pressure off my stomach. Tears keep spilling from my eyes, silently falling. There are too many people to leave behind. There’s Griffin.

As I look at him, he moves to the side, and my gaze falls on the bowl of lemons. My eyes widen. What if I live? “Get the lemons. Wash the blood off with lemon juice.”

Griffin swings a near-frantic look on me. “That’s insane. That’ll hurt like the fires of the Underworld.”

I think we’ve already established that I’m not entirely sane, so I give him the best maniacal glare I can manage under the circumstances. “It’ll corrupt the blood. Confuse her magic. More effective than water.”

A muscle pounds in his jaw. His face turns thunderous. He still cuts open all ten lemons and squeezes the juice over Kato’s hand and my stomach. When the acid hits me, I scream like a child. I scream like the Minotaur is on my tail, and I just hit a dead-end in his maze. I scream for all I’m worth even after Griffin stops what he’s doing and curses violently, hurling the lemon rinds against the wall.

Griffin’s sisters and parents erupt into the room in their nightclothes, panicked.

“Cat!” Jocasta falls to her knees next to me. Trembling fingers brush wet hair off my neck and cheeks. She sniffs loudly and then bursts into tears. The second she starts crying, the other women do, too.

I blink leaden eyelids, wanting to keep looking at them. I have a family crying over me. What a strange idea. I hold on to that thought as I slip in and out of darkness. Eleni emerges from the shadows to greet me, a smile on her lips, blonde hair glowing, green eyes merry, a bottle of Fisan clover water in her hand. Has Hades sent her to collect me?

I guess not because she fades, and I wake up, limp and hurting. There’s a sheet covering my nakedness. Griffin is on his knees next to me, his head bowed, his beautiful, wide mouth moving on silent words, praying. I read Poseidon’s name on his lips.

Poseidon, I beg. Please take care of him.

Piers bursts through the doorway, two people in tow. “I found him! And another one! A girl.”

Griffin jumps to his feet. He grabs the man and drags him down next to me. “Heal her!”

His eyes flicking over me, the healer smiles like he knows he’s about to die and relishes it. “She killed my wife!” he snarls.

What?

“Belinda went to Ios.” He turns burning, hate-filled eyes on me. “She wanted to stop that healing center garbage.”

Ah, Gods. Talk about rotten luck. I had to grab this guy’s wife and then accidentally kill her?

A storm roars to life in Griffin’s eyes. Idiot healer. He’s about to read some sign language.

“Can you drain him?” Griffin asks me, his expression murderous. “Heal yourself?”

I shake my head. My eyes say the rest. I’m already too weak, and it wouldn’t matter anyway. Even healers can’t heal themselves.

“Heal her. That’s an order.” There’s steel in Griffin’s voice.

“You can rot in the fires of the Underworld,” the healer spits. “You and your Fisan whore.”

With a snarl, Griffin grabs the man’s head, snaps his neck, and then launches his body across the room. The healer thumps against the wall and then falls to the floor with the lemon rinds.

Kaia bleats like a frightened sheep and sits abruptly on the bed. Her face ashen, Nerissa wraps her arms around her daughter, but she doesn’t scold Griffin like I half expect her to.

Piers shoves the girl at me. She can’t be more than twelve, which means I’m as good as dead.

“I-I’m just an apprentice. I’m here with my parents. I’ve n-never fully healed anyone before.”

Griffin takes her by the shoulders, doing his best to appear calm and nonthreatening despite having just killed a man and tossed him across the room. “Just help her hold on until someone else gets here. Please. I know you can do it.”

She nods jerkily, shaking all over. “I’m strong. They always tell me I’m strong.”

“Good.” Griffin nudges her toward me. “We need you to be strong.”

With his next breath, Griffin sends Piers to the bathhouse. “Wash the blood off the floor. Drain the pool. Refill and drain again.”

Piers nods and leaves the room but not before I see a shadow flit through his eyes, making me wonder what he’s read in his scrolls about magic and blood.

The girl kneels next to me. She peels the blanket to my waist and then lays her hands on my stomach. I feel a tingle of magic, pure and strong, and hiss a breath through my teeth. The pain intensifies as torn things begin the slow, agonizing process of repairing themselves. When I can’t stand it anymore, I moan.

“What are you doing?” Griffin jerks the child off me.

She gasps. “I-I’m doing what you said.”

“You’re hurting her!”

“I know!” the girl cries.

“Keep going,” I croak. “You’re doing fine.”

She looks at me, wide brown eyes in a pale, oval face. I clench my fists until my nails sting my palms and nod in encouragement.

I suffer through the bite of magic and the misery of healing, so drained of blood I think my skin will collapse and mold to my bones, leaving bumps and hollows and sunken flesh. After a while, the feel of the girl’s magic changes. She’s drained her healing power. This is her life force.

“Stop,” I order sharply. “You’re giving too much.”

She pulls back, trembling with exhaustion.

I flop my head toward Egeria. “Wash her hands. She’s done everything she can without hurting herself.”

Egeria hurries over and half carries the healer child from the room.

I shift, wincing in pain but amazed I can move. The girl made a start at repairing the damage, although the gash is still open and oozing. “Rub the lemon rinds over it,” I say to anyone who’s listening.

Griffin leans over me, glowering. “There’s been too much blood already. Don’t hurt yourself for no reason.”

No reason? I’d cut off my own arm to keep Andromeda from finding me. I was going to be happy here. With Griffin. “Do it!” I grind out.

“No!”

I’m cursing at him when Flynn barrels through the door along with a stranger. “Met him at a tavern. Found him again,” he pants. “Not like the others. Supports the healing centers.”

Griffin sizes up the healer with a glance. So do I. His chest is heaving, and he’s so out of breath he looks like he’s about to throw up, but otherwise he doesn’t seem unwilling. He’s about thirty, so fully trained but not yet at the peak of his power. He has unpretentious eyes.

“Save her and you can have the new healing center in Ios,” Griffin says. “It’s yours.”

The healer’s gaze darts to his dead colleague, easily recognizable from the symbol of Asklepios tattooed on his mangled neck. He doesn’t hesitate. He drops down next to me and places his hands over my wound. “You’ve lost a lot of blood.” He presses firmly, and I suck in a sharp breath. “I’m surprised you’re still alive.”

“Strong constitution,” Kato says.

“Stubborn as a Cyclops,” Griffin mutters at the same time.

“Get on with it.” I grit my teeth. This is going to hurt.

Magic ignites, incinerating my insides as skin, muscle, and organs start knitting back together again, much faster than before. My back bows, and I scream, suddenly hating the healer girl for fixing me just enough to keep me conscious.

Griffin whirls and punches the wall. The marble wins that fight, and his hand comes away bloody.

“Don’t bleed!” I shout at him and then scream some more.

He strings together an impressive number of obscenities, grinding his bloody knuckles into an emptied-out lemon rind. When he’s done with that, he picks up a massive chair and pounds it against the wall until there’s nothing left. He glares in disgust at the shattered chunk of wood left in his hand and then hurls it out the window with a bellow.

His family stares at him in shock. Only Anatole looks like he understands and would do the same.

“If you don’t like it,” Griffin rages, “get out!”

No one moves. Jocasta goes back to stroking my hair.

The healer rocks back on his heels, lifting his hands from me and using his forearm to wipe the sweat from his brow.

Griffin pounces on him. “What are you doing? You’re not done yet!”

The healer tries not to cringe in the face of Griffin’s wrath, and succeeds—for the most part. “I have to rest, gather more magic. It’s impossible to keep going until it’s done. Using that much healing power that fast can have dire results.”

We’re well placed to know that’s true. With a frustrated curse, Griffin drops to my side.

I scowl at him. “I liked that chair.”

His lips jump up in surprise. “I’ll get you a new one.”

“I liked that one.”

Light returns to his eyes. He lifts my hand to his mouth, pressing my palm to his lips for a scorching kiss. “You must be feeling better. You’re arguing.”

Heat kindles where his breath whispers over my skin. I’m still cold, and there’s only one thing I’m certain of in my life. Only he can warm me.

“Cat’s not dying anymore, is she?” Kaia asks.

Griffin shakes his head, his eyes focused solely on me. “Everyone go back to bed. Cat needs quiet. And rest.”

Griffin’s family shuffles out, reluctantly, I think. Flynn and Kato plant themselves near the door, clearly with no intention of leaving.

I turn to the healer and ask his name.

“Eneas,” he answers.

“When can you finish?”

“Soon.” His face is pallid, his voice lacking vigor.

Eneas finishes the job as soon as he’s able. It doesn’t hurt like before, but it isn’t easy. Griffin paces furiously and looks like he wants to destroy anything within reach. I moan nonstop, sounding a lot like a coward.

When it’s done, Griffin bends over me, his eyebrows drawn together in dark, foreboding slashes. “Why is there a scar?” he demands.

Eneas frowns. “It may have something to do with the lemon juice.” He studies me with a sidelong glance that tells me he knows something about location spells. He very thoroughly washes my blood from his hands. Smart man.

Egeria pokes her head into the room, the healer child in tow. “Do you need Calla again?”

I shake my head, but Griffin motions the girl forward. Kneeling so they’re roughly the same height, he asks, “How would you like to be the personal and primary apprentice of the healer in charge of Ios?” He nods toward Eneas.

Calla blushes and dips into a respectable curtsy. “Very much, Your Highness.”

Griffin stands. “Now that that’s settled, everyone out. Cat needs to sleep.” He herds everyone out of the room, asking Kato and Flynn to stay close. He uncovers me and washes the blood off while I lie there, tired and sore. Once I’m clean, he carries me to the bed and wraps me in one of his tunics before tucking the sheet up under my chin.

I watch from under sagging eyelids as he removes all traces of blood from the room, rolling stained clothing and bloodied cloths into the soiled rug. Griffin, Kato, and Flynn take everything from the room, promising me a bonfire behind the barracks that’ll make me complain about the heat soon.

When he comes back, Griffin strips out of his boots and lies down next to me, gathering me close. “Still cold?” he asks.

I shake my head even though I am still chilled. Curling into him helps.

Gruffly, he says, “You scared me to death.”

“Me too,” I mumble drowsily. I sink deeper into my cocoon of safety and warmth, knowing Griffin will keep my monsters at bay.

“Sleep,” he says, his arms tightening around me. “When you wake up, I’ll make love to you and give you as much life force as you can take.”

I grin against his chest. I can’t wait. “How smug do you look right now?”

“Very,” he admits.

“Feed me first.”

He chuckles. “If I have to.” After a slight pause, he adds, “And then you and I are having a conversation. No more mysteries, Cat.”

I stop smiling. For that, I can wait.

* * *

A whispered argument wakes me up. “Eight years with me and one broken arm because she was overambitious with the acrobats. A few months with you and she almost dies! Repeatedly! What in the Underworld is wrong with you?”

Selena.

“She’s fine,” Griffin grumbles.

“Because you found a healer who doesn’t hate you! And you’re not even keeping him at the castle. You’re sending him to Ios!”

“We’ll find one for the castle.”

Selena snorts. “Most healers don’t give a Cyclops’s eye about healing Hoi Polloi.”

Griffin’s voice turns deceptively casual. “I could always keep you.”

My eyes fly open. I’ve never seen perfectly groomed, perfectly poised Selena lose her temper, and I don’t want to miss it. What I see is startling. Her long braid is a mess. Her ageless face is flushed with anger, and her blue eyes flash with that otherworldly light I can never quite nail down or see the other side of. She looks as vengeful as the Furies, and just as ready to light Griffin’s hide on fire.

“I wouldn’t have gotten here in time. This is over!” She slices her hand through the air with finality. “I’m taking her back.”

“Over my dead body.” Griffin steps in front of me, crossing his arms.

Selena stares him down. “That can be arranged.”

My heart jumps into my throat. She’s not bluffing. “No one’s killing anyone,” I say, my voice hoarse from sleep. “And it’s a sorry day for the realms when I’m the peacekeeper. The world must be about to implode.”

Actually, that’s not funny.

“Cat!” Selena flies to my side like she has wings. She lands next to me, taking my hand in hers. Her eyes are unnaturally bright.

“Thank you for coming,” I murmur.

She throws a dark look over her shoulder at Griffin. “I didn’t do anything. I would have been too late.”

I squeeze her hand. “You would have found a way.”

She turns back to me, her face etched with worry. “Even I can’t bring back the dead.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not dead.” My attempt at a joke is shaky, and no one laughs.

“Tell me truthfully, Cat. Are you happy here?” It’s not a simple question, but there’s a simple answer.

“Yes.” My eyes find Griffin’s. My voice softens. My whole body does.

“I see.” Selena’s lips purse. “Aetos and Desma will be disappointed. Vasili, too. Everyone misses you, especially Cerberus.”

I grin. Cerberus couldn’t care less. “I’ll visit soon.”

“When you’re stronger,” Selena says briskly, her expression smoothing into its usual cool lines.

“I miss you,” I tell her. “I miss everyone.”

“And we miss you.” She leans close and whispers the ancient word for family in my ear. Its power electrifies me like a lightning bolt, and magic whooshes through my veins. I gape at Selena as my body settles. She’s hiding more power than I ever imagined.

“Real family works both ways,” she says with an enigmatic smile. Then her eyes narrow on my willowy frame. “What happened to your curves? You look like you did when I found you.”

Funny. I thought I’d found her. “They’ll be back. I’ll be struggling with certain pants again soon enough. Some people are just made that way, and spice cakes don’t help.”

She sits back, straightening her rumpled clothing. “Do you want me to stay?”

I shrug. “Yes. But you have a circus to run, and I’ll just be sleeping for days.”

“Sleeping and eating,” Selena says firmly, bending down to kiss my forehead. She smells like blossoms and budding leaves, and I wonder if this is what it feels like to have a mother who loves you.

“How’s Hades?” I ask before she goes.

She gives me a significant look. “Virile. As always.”

I smile. I get it now. “Give Cerberus a pat.”

She arches one sculpted eyebrow. No one pats Cerberus. Selena and I are the only ones who even go near him. He terrifies everyone else.

She squeezes my fingers before rising. “Cerberus didn’t guard the circus until you came. He hasn’t been around since you left.”

It takes a moment for her words to sink in. Hades may be her lover, but Cerberus is my watchdog. My eyes blur, and my nose stings, and I’m not really sure why. I press my lips together, holding a flood of emotion at bay.

Selena leaves with Carver after delivering a series of grisly threats to Griffin. I don’t hear everything, but I hear enough to know he’d better not let anything happen to me.

Taking a slow breath, I turn to the man I love. He’s been standing off to one side, hovering, protective and extremely male. “She won’t carry through.”

He looks dubious. Selena must have been pretty convincing. “You mean she won’t personally rip my beating heart from my chest and string my innards from one end of the Underworld to the other?”

I make a face.

“Or lop off my head and give it to Cerberus for a chew toy?”

I mash my lips together to keep from smiling. “That would be a terrible waste of a handsome head.”

“Or have a Cyclops pummel me with its meaty fists until my bones are splinters and my organs ooze out?”

I grimace. “Ack!”

Griffin grunts. “More like ouch.”

I laugh, clutching my aching middle, and in that moment, I don’t care that Griffin has all but vowed to uncover everything I can’t bear to confide in him, that he wants to take over the realms, that Andromeda is coming for me, that I have thunder and lightning in my veins, or that I am destined to end the world as we know it. But when my smile dies, I close my eyes for the briefest of seconds and see war and crumbling kingdoms and me in the middle of it all, and I can’t help wondering how fleeting my happiness will be, and how many people will suffer along with me.

I open my eyes and meet Griffin’s steady gaze. “I love you, and I’m so glad you love me, too.”

His eyes widen at my admission. He stops mid-breath, his whole body going utterly still. “Live together, or die trying?” he asks, his voice a deep rasp.

I nod. “Us. Together. Forever.” I speak instinctively, trustingly, and this time magic whips through me, acknowledging the unbreakable promise even as fate whispers in my ear that my forever might not last long.

I hold out my hand. “Make love to me.”

His gray eyes ignite. “Are you sure?”

“I want you. In me. Around me. Always.”

He’s by my side in an instant, achingly fierce, terrifyingly gentle, afraid that I might break. With each caress, each softly spoken endearment or sensual drag of his lips over my skin, Griffin heals me in a way no magic ever could. And when he rises above me, filling me completely, he’s a rock and a wall—my shelter, my home. He wraps his arms tightly around me, thrusting slowly to drive my pleasure to new heights. He kisses my shoulder when I shudder beneath him and then joins me in completion, offering me his strength as his head drops to my neck and his powerful body quakes and trembles. When he shifts to the side, he cups my jaw and feathers his lips over mine, murmuring words of adoration and praise that sweep aside my fear of the confrontation between us I know is yet to come.

I kiss him back and touch every part of him that I can reach. And when he makes love to me again, I don’t cry at his tenderness even though I feel like I might, and I don’t tell him that if I were going to break, it would have happened a long time ago.