Chapter 6
“There you are, Lindsay. Take a load off your feet.” Emilio inclined his head toward the visitor chair across from his desk.
Lindsay sat and wished she could lighten the load on her heart as easily as she did her feet. The brief respite in her bedroom hadn’t been nearly sufficient. It would take more like a week for her to overcome the disappointment of losing the promotion to Matt.
The stray pup lay in a corner by the filing cabinet, destroying the cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels. Lindsay no sooner settled in when he lumbered over, planted two oversized front paws on her knees and proceeded to slobber her face with wet, sloppy kisses. Gently, she pushed him away. Lindsay liked dogs and had owned many through the years. During college, she’d supplemented her income by working summers as a dog obedience instructor. Were it not for her hectic lifestyle, she’d own one now.
Cats, being a lower maintenance pet, were a better fit. His Highness, a pint-sized tabby with visions of grandeur, had come to live with Lindsay last year, a housewarming gift from Mahina.
“Sit,” Lindsay said and pushed the pup’s behind to the floor with the flat of her hand. He obeyed, and she absently stroked the smooth fur between his ears. “Good boy.” He stared at her with adoring eyes, his tail thumping loudly on the tile floor.
She hardly noticed. She was too busy fighting the urge to cry by gnawing on the inside of her cheek. This wasn’t like her. In light of the many horrors she regularly witnessed on the job, crying over a lost promotion seemed trite. She searched her memory for the last time she’d shed tears. It had been three years ago at her maternal grandmother’s funeral. The time before that had been at her mother and stepfather’s wedding, and those were tears of joy. She remembered the ribbing she’d taken from family and friends, which only strengthened her resolve not to yield to clichéd feminine reactions. Lindsay was a tomboy through and through.
“Shall I call Dennis?” she asked, wishing her coworker would hurry and that their meeting would be over with as soon as possible.
“Not necessary.” Emilio smiled fondly. “You’re good with him.”
“Dennis?”
“No.” The captain gave her a funny look. “The dog.”
“Oh.” The subject of their discussion had made himself comfortable, resting his head on Lindsay’s lap. He blew a gust of air through his nose and smacked his lips, obviously preparing for a short nap.
“I knew I made the right decision.”
Lindsay didn’t follow. “What decision is that?” And what in the world did any of this have to do with her and Dennis?
“Tom, Rebecca and I have been talking and we’re all in agreement. We want to keep booter.”
Now she was really confused. Emilio often consulted with the other two station captains, but the results seldom necessitated a private meeting with a crew member.
“Which booter?”
There were two rookies she knew of within the department Emilio had been watching with interest. He must have requested one of them for permanent assignment in preparation for Matt’s promotion.
Emilio rolled his eyes and repeated, “The dog. We named him Booter. Cute, huh?”
“Uh, yeah.”
Booter yawned, evidently unimpressed with his new name or the possible significance earning one might have for him.
“We want to keep him.”
“That’s great. Your kids will love him.”
“No. Here. Sort of a station mascot.” Emilio’s bushy, black brows rose expectantly.
“I see.” She didn’t see. At least she didn’t see what keeping Booter had to do with her.
“Is everything okay, Lindsay?” His brows knitted together in a deep V. “You seem distracted.”
“Do I?” Maybe she should tell Emilio the reason behind her distraction.
You see, Cap, it’s like this. Two weeks ago, I slept with Matt while still dating Joey, who, by the way, dumped me the next morning for his ex-fiancée. Matt, being the kind of guy he is, assumed he could pick up where Joey left off, like dating a coworker is no big deal. To top it off, I found out today I lost the promotion to him. Which wouldn’t bother me except I studied my tail off while he barely cracked a book. Oh, and here’s the really funny part, he claims he doesn’t want the promotion. Can you believe it? So, yes, I’m a little distracted. Thanks for asking.
On second thought, she’d be better off saying nothing.
“Sorry. I guess I misunderstood you earlier. I thought we were meeting with Dennis.”
Emilio looked chagrinned. “I forgot to tell you. I cancelled the meeting with Dennis. There’s something else I want to discuss with you first.”
“Oh. Okay.” What now?
“Booter’s a little undisciplined, wouldn’t you say?” His gaze traveled to the scattered pile of debris left on the floor by the dog.
“You called me in here to discuss the dog?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t know what to say. His answer wasn’t the one she expected.
“We want to keep him, however he needs training.” He gave her a have-you-put-two-and-two-together-yet look. “You have the necessary experience.”
“Yes, but—”
“And Booter already likes you.” The dog’s worshipful gaze had not veered one millimeter from her during the entire time she’d been seated.
“You want me to train him,” she repeated.
“That’s right.” Emilio grinned broadly.
“I can’t.”
His grin faded. “Why?”
Because I’m sick and tired of being the brunt of every joke around here.
Lindsay bit the inside of her cheek again. Whiny complaints would not advance her struggle for acceptance by her peers. “You have to work with a dog twice a day minimum for the training to be effective. I’m only here every third day.”
“Take him home with you.”
Lindsay thought of His Highness and the cat’s response to a canine interloper. Particularly a young, discipline-challenged canine interloper. “My cat has a rule. No dogs allowed in the house.”
“Keep him outside.”
“The yard’s not fenced. I’d hate it if he ran off or got hit by a car.” Not to mention the potential devastation to her landlady’s elaborate and meticulously maintained landscaping.
Emilio didn’t back down. He’d earned the reputation of being a steamroller when he set his sights on something. “Drop him off here when you have to go out. You don’t live five minutes from the station.”
Lindsay made the mistake of hesitating.
Emilio obviously saw his opportunity and seized it. “We’re only talking what, a few weeks? A month at the most?”
Emotionally depleted and unable to bear up under her captain’s skillfully applied pressure, Lindsay folded. “I have a suggestion. What if I come by the station on my days off? Worked with him here”
Emilio’s broad grin returned.
“I’ll need some things: a collar and leash to start with and a box of treats.”
“I’ll pick them up tomorrow.”
Dislodging the pup’s head from her lap, she stood. “Will that be all?”
“Can you start today?”
“Sure.” She’d concede to almost anything at this point, and she did genuinely like the dog. “Come on, boy,” she said and slapped her thigh.
Booter scrambled to his feet and padded after her.
Emilio trailed behind them. “By the way.” He tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to stop and turn. “Try and get along with Dennis, will you?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Oh, and one more thing, can you housebreak him and teach him not to chew everything in sight?”
“Dennis?”
Emilio laughed. “Good one.”
They entered the common room. Matt sat at the large multipurpose table filling out paperwork while Dennis lounged on the couch watching TV.
“Hey, you two, listen up,” Emilio said loudly. “I have an announcement to make.”
Lindsay cringed. Why couldn’t this be her and the captain’s little secret?
Matt laid his papers aside.
Dennis sat up and stretched. “Yo, Cap. You rang?”
“We’re keeping the dog and making him station mascot. Lindsay’s agreed to train him.”
“Say it ain’t so.” Dennis pretended to stab himself in the chest and fell back onto the couch. “My worst nightmare. Dog and woman. Together.”
“Cool it, Dennis.” Emilio spoke sharply. “I want you to cut Lindsay some slack. In fact, that’s an order.”
“Yes, sir.” Dennis sat back up and fixed Lindsay with a lethal stare.
She ignored him. “I’m taking Booter into the apparatus room for his first lesson.”
“Good.” Emilio tugged on Dennis’ shirt sleeve as he went by. “While you do that, Dennis and I will clean the kitchen.”
Dennis grumbled but obliged by crawling off the couch.
Lindsay knew Emilio meant well, but she wished he wouldn’t fight her battles for her. His intervention sometimes made matters worse. She avoided Matt’s apologetic gaze as she and Booter passed by. He braced his hands on the table and started to rise. When she gave her head an imperceptive shake, he sat back down. She didn’t feel like talking at the moment. One more ‘I’m sorry’ from him, and she’d snap.
Five minutes into Booter’s lesson, the alarm went off. Both his training and washing the dishes were forced to wait.
~~*~~
LINDSAY DIDN’T CRY.
She held back the tears collecting in the corners of her eyes and the sobs lodging in the back of her throat.
Instead, she let the steaming hot water of the shower run over her until her skin turned a bright pink. In her mind, she saw the old woman, tiny and frail, huddled in the arms of her family, her face as white as the hair on her head.
The old woman had cried.
She’d stood in the street, watching her home burn and everything she owned with it. While the firefighters doused the raging flames with water, she’d wept bitterly over what was lost. Family photographs in silver frames which had lined whitewashed bookcases. A greeting card her late husband had given her on their first anniversary fifty-two years earlier. The pine rocking chair where she’d sat and sung her babies to sleep. The drawing her youngest grandson had made for her with the box of crayons she’d given him last Christmas. Priceless, irreplaceable mementoes gone forever.
There were days Lindsay hated being a firefighter, and today was one of them.
For hours, they’d fought the flames; at first, to try and save the house and when that became a lost cause, to prevent the fire from spreading. Lindsay reminded herself the old woman’s life was what really mattered. Pieces of paper, wood, and fabric weren’t worth dying for.
Faulty wiring appeared to be the cause. The old woman had been sitting in her recliner and watching TV with the antiquated window air conditioner running on full blast. The next thing she knew, the room was full of smoke. Coughing and disorientated, she’d somehow made it to the front door and outside. Neighbors called 9-1-1, but it was too late. In the span of time it took for a single spark to ignite, the woman’s entire world changed.
Lindsay had felt much the same way herself earlier in the day after learning Matt’s test scores were higher than hers. In retrospect, she’d overreacted. Her promotion hadn’t been lost, merely delayed. It could be worse. She could be watching everything she owned vanish in a puff of smoke. Literally.
Putting things in perspective should have made her feel better. It didn’t, which was unlike her.
Shutting off the water, she stepped from the shower and toweled dry, then donned a clean uniform. She shared the bathroom with Dennis and could hear his heavy snoring through the connecting door to his bedroom. She ran a comb through her wet hair and brushed her teeth. A glance at the wall clock above her bed told her it was past midnight. Matt and Emilio had also retired to their respective bedrooms soon after returning from the fire. She assumed they were resting as well.
Lindsay lay down on her bed, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. A hard ball of misery had lodged between her heart and lungs, making breathing difficult and sleep impossible. She begrudged Booter, who snoozed peacefully on the floor at the foot of her bed. He was still snoozing twenty minutes later when she stepped over him on her way to the kitchen.
Later, as she sat at the table sipping a cup of herbal tea, the oppressive stillness closed in around her. Try as she might, she couldn’t shake her despondency. Suddenly, the ball inside her chest burst and tears seeped from the corners of her eyes. Before long, they were streaming down her cheeks.
She was crying, and no amount of effort on her part stopped it.
A sob escaped. Lindsay snatched a paper napkin from the holder on the table and used it to cover her mouth. What if one of the sleeping men heard her and came out to the kitchen? What would they think?
They’d think she was weak. They’d think she didn’t have the necessary grit required to be a firefighter.
No. She couldn’t let that happen.
Another sob burst free and then a hiccup. She had to act fast. The chair nearly toppled when she jumped up. Righting it, she bolted from the kitchen, down the hall, and through the door to the apparatus room. Where now? She needed a hiding place, preferably soundproof. The weight room was out of the question. So was the supply closet. That left the equipment room.
Tears obscured her vision as she stumbled around the rear of the engine. Ducking inside the equipment room, she shut the door. It latched into place with a reassuring click. She was completely—and finally—alone.
Pale moonlight filtered in through a small window, enough so Lindsay could see to maneuver. Making a place for herself on the bench, she sat, dropped her head, and did something completely out of character. She cried her heart out.
Time passed. How much, she didn’t know. Maybe three minutes, maybe thirty. Without warning, the door opened with a soft swish. Lindsay’s head snapped up. A man stood framed in the doorway, his features hidden in shadow. Nonetheless, she recognized him and hid her face so he wouldn’t see her tears. She need not have bothered.
~~*~~
FOR REASONS THAT defied logic, Matt entered the equipment room and closed the door behind him. Common sense dictated he leave Lindsay alone. Besides the inappropriateness of their being alone together, she obviously didn’t want company. Especially his company. Any progress they’d made toward a reconciliation had been wiped clean with one email from Fire Administration.
His first response had been to decline the promotion. He didn’t want it, or so he thought, and Lindsay did. But something inside him changed during the course of the day. The congratulatory back slappings and phone calls had felt good. Emotions he hadn’t anticipated surfaced: pride and satisfaction foremost among them. He came to realize a part of himself, a larger part than he’d originally suspected, wanted the promotion. Lindsay would still make engineer. Her scores stood for two years and in that time, another position was bound to open up.
He took a step toward her, ignoring the warning bells clanging inside his head. When it came to taking risks, Matt didn’t know where to draw the line. He lived on the edge and liked it. If he and Lindsay were caught, and they probably would be, he’d have some interesting explaining to do.
That didn’t stop him from advancing another step. “Are you okay?” he asked in a whisper.
She hunkered down lower and massaged her temples. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked. “Leave me alone.”
“Are you crying?”
“No.”
“Yes, you are,” he said in disbelief. He’d never seen Lindsay cry. She kept her calm even during the most horrific disasters. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She sniffed. “Why are you here?”
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by.”
Acting on his impulses, he sat beside her on the bench, after first moving a metal supply box out of the way. Usually he’d run at the first sign of tears, but he didn’t feel that way with Lindsay. Quite the opposite. Instead, he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her until her crying subsided.
She instantly stiffened and turned blazing green eyes on him. “You have no right to be here.”
“None whatsoever.” Before she could react, he grabbed hold of her and lifted her onto his lap. True to form, she rebelled.
“Let me go!” she hissed, kicking out with her feet and shoving her hands into his chest.
“Quiet. Do you want someone to hear us?” He’d meant to comfort her, but all her squirming was having an adverse effect on him. On her, too. With each movement, her erect nipple brushed against the front of his t-shirt.
“I don’t care.”
“Of course, you do.” He captured her wrists in one hand. With the other, he supported her back. “You’re a slave to protocol.”
“And that’s so—”
He brought his mouth down on hers.
Hard. Hot. Hungry.
The fight drained out of her, and she went slack in his arms. But only momentarily. When he released her wrists, she drove her fingers into his hair and returned his kiss with an ardor matching his. Curling into him, she moaned softly. Matt readjusted her weight to lessen the pressure on his swelling erection.
They broke apart, breathless, their hearts pounding. He dropped tiny kisses on her damp cheeks, her chin, her forehead.
“We can’t do this.”
“Shh.” He pressed her head to his shoulder. “Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”
She started crying again. Her whole body shook with silent sobs. He gathered her to him and soothed her as one might a small child. Eventually, she stopped.
“How did you know I was in here?” she asked in a scratchy whisper, not lifting her head.
“Booter gave you away. He was right outside the door, whimpering. Didn’t you hear him?”
“No. The last time I saw him, he was sleeping in my bedroom. I suppose I should get him.”
“He’s all right. I gave him a bowl of Cheerios. That should keep him busy.”
“For about five seconds.”
Matt felt her smile. “Lindsay—”
“Don’t say anything. Please.” She put a finger to his lips. “I’m too raw for any well-meaning words.”
“Okay.” He angled his head and nuzzled the inside of her arm, nipping at the tender skin there. Then he worked his way up to her elbow.
“Not a good idea, Matt.” She tried to wiggle free, but he only tightened his grasp on her.
“I think it’s a very good idea.” He lifted his head and brought his lips to within an inch of hers. “Kiss me.”
“In your dreams.”
“Still mad about the test scores?”
“Fuming.”
“Physical activity is great outlet for venting frustrations.”
“So, you won’t mind if I sock you.” She cuffed him lightly on the arm.
“I had a different sort of physical activity in mind.” His fingers glided up her leg and under the hem of her shorts.
“Are you insane?” She pushed his hand away. “Emilio and Dennis will hear us.”
“They’re sound asleep.”
“For the moment. A flea hopping off Booter would make enough racket to wake them.”
“Then we’ll have to be really careful. None of that screaming like the other night.”
She cuffed him on the arm again, a little harder. “I did not scream.”
“Kiss me,” he repeated.
“Go to hell,” she said, then did as he demanded and kissed him.
With her help, he yanked her shirt from the waist band of her shorts and drove his hand underneath, desperate to touch her bare skin. She was warm and silky and smelled like soap. He pulled her shirt higher, exposing a band of creamy flesh, and discovered she also tasted like soap.
God, he wanted her, with every fiber of his being and not just for his lover. His girlfriend? Definitely. Live-in companion? Possibly. Probably. Wife? Whoa!
Why didn’t the thought of marrying Lindsay scare the pants off him? He’d have to dwell on that later. When he wasn’t so preoccupied with an uncooperative zipper.
She didn’t object when he unfastened her shorts and hiked them down to her knees. Nor when he parted her legs and toyed with the elastic leg bands of her panties.
A loud roaring filled his ears, drowning out all coherent thought. What they were doing went beyond dangerous and into the realm of suicidal. Matt’s excitement grew with each passing second they avoided detection. He hadn’t experienced such an illicit thrill since his sister’s friend, Mary Beth Shoemaker, let him feel her up behind the bleachers at a high school football game. She’d been a senior, he a lowly junior. Before tonight, that memory had stood out as his most daring sexual escapade.
Lindsay’s panties came off, making way for his fingers − which found their target and quickly established a pattern. In and out. Faster and faster. She bucked and made a low noise in the back of her throat.
“I want to kiss you, Lindsay.” When her lips grazed his chin, he pulled back and said, “No. Not on the mouth.” He stroked her. “I want to kiss you here.” His thumb found the very center of her and circled it. “And here, too.” She tensed, sucked in a harsh breath. “I will, too. Soon,” he promised.
That was all it took. He swallowed her cries with his mouth and held her until the spasms ended.
“You’d better get dressed,” he said and eased her to her feet. He’d put her at enough risk for one day. Making her climax, learning she still wanted him despite their differences, was enough to satisfy him. Well, almost enough.
“What about you?” she asked, tucking in her shirt and buttoning her shorts.
“What about me?”
“Aren’t you…wouldn’t you like... ”
“Yes, I’d like.” He held her by the hips, positioning her in front of him, and kissed her belly through her shirt. “But this wasn’t for me. It was for you.”
“There you go again. Being noble.”
He didn’t know if she was joking or serious. She knelt in front of him, and he realized how serious she was. “You don’t have to.” Yeah. Tell that to his throbbing erection.
She fondled him through his clothes. “Trust me. I’m not doing this out of any misguided obligation.”
Jolts of pleasure ricocheted through him. “Why then?” he rasped.
“Call it a power struggle.” She opened his shorts.
With each ping of the zipper teeth, Matt relinquished more and more of his free will. “I give up. You win.”
“Not so fast,” she purred. Taking his rock hard penis in her hands, she began stroking him. “I told you before. I’ll succeed on my own, not because you disqualify yourself.”
Damned if she wasn’t true to her word. With the speed and fury of an engine barreling through traffic, he reached the point of no return. Lindsay sensed it and increased the pressure.
Matt gripped the bench seat and swore as his lower body convulsed. Beads of sweat popped out on his face, neck and arms. Colorful spots of light danced in front of his eyes. They faded only when his pulse rate dropped to below two hundred beats a minute.
Lindsay stood and extended a hand to him. “We’d better get out of here before someone finds us.”
They both knew they’d pushed their luck to the limit.
He dressed hurriedly, then pulled her in his arms for a last tender kiss. “We have a breakfast date this morning.”
“Matt.”
“Breakfast,” he reiterated. “We need to talk.”
Reluctantly, she nodded.
“Are you always this stubborn?”
“I’m not stubborn.” Her chin jutted out.
“Neither is a mule.” He pinched her chin between his finger and thumb. “Don’t worry. I like that about you. I like a lot of things about you, Lindsay. We can review the complete list at breakfast.”
“What’s that noise?” Lindsay turned toward the door. “Did you hear something?”
“Booter must have finished his cereal.”
Lindsay gave an exasperated huff. “That dog’s a sweetheart, but he can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.”
Giving himself and her a hasty once over, Matt hustled them to the door. He opened it, and Lindsay stepped out.
She came face to face not with the station mascot but with Dennis.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” The beefy man sneered at them. “Isn’t this cozy? I wonder what the captain will say when I tell him Pfeiffer was in the equipment room playing kissy-face with Callahan?”