Chapter13
Olivia had plenty of encounters with the police in her life. When she was a little girl, they would come into her home all of the time to look for drugs. She got taken away from her mother and father once as a child after she was found in conditions that weren’t so great. It was both of her parents’ first offense, however, so they were able to get her back right away. Although that wasn’t the first time the police had ever come, that was Olivia’s first real memory encountering police officers. They had been so nice to her and made her feel better in a time when she was scared.
The first time she ever had a bad experience with a cop was when she was a teenager. They had come to search the house for drugs and didn’t realize Olivia was just their suspect’s teenage daughter. She didn’t realize the police were the ones breaking in and thought she might be under attack. She fought back at first, but they beat her to the ground and kept her handcuffed. She was let go after it was all over, but she would never look at the police the same.
She thought that past was behind her until she met the Touhy family. In the two years that she worked for them, the police had shown up to search their Chicago mansion twice. There were always suspicions of illegal things taking place in the steel company, but never any proof. When they would get an anonymous tip, likely from an angry ex-employee, they would search the Touhy residence.
The officers were always nice to her there, knowing that she was just a cooperative staff member and not someone they had to worry about. Still, she felt uncomfortable around the police officers thinking back to her teenage years when they treated her like the worst inmate in Cook County Jail. She had hoped to never have to see the police again each time she had an encounter with them, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
She never suspected that she would have two run-ins with the Russian police on one vacation to Moscow. They were so much more frightening than the police back home. This was mostly because she didn’t know what they were saying and was scared that they would misunderstand something, or her statement might get lost in translation, resulting in them wanting to come after Olivia.
Being a black woman made things a bit more difficult when it came to feeling comfortable around the police. Her white friends and classmates could walk down the street without fear, but Olivia always wondered if the cops thought she was suspicious just because her skin was darker than others.
She managed to make it back to the cabin in time to call for help before Ruslan came back. She had walked so slowly from the cabin to the tree. If she got there faster, might Joseph had been alive still? Would she have been able to stop Ruslan from killing Joseph? She also wondered why he would have invited both of them there just to kill Joseph and get caught by Olivia. None of this made sense and she didn’t know who or what to believe. The only thing she knew was true was that she had wished that none of it ever happened. She imagined how her night was supposed to be, wrapped in Ruslan’s arms, feeling him inside her like she had the few times before.
He hadn’t tried to follow her. She thought that maybe he would kill her next. He didn’t look like he was threatening her in any way, but she saw a large man with a knife and didn’t want to stick around. He shouted for her to stay as she ran away, but he didn’t follow her. It would not have looked good for him to chase after this woman while holding a knife, after all.
She looked back at him a few times and just saw him standing there, looking as confused as she was. Part of her wanted to turn back around and listen to what he had to say, but her instincts were pushing her forward and fast through the snow. She didn’t slip once, a rare occurrence for her.
Olivia was confused, terrified, and heartbroken. In a time that caused so much pain, it was always best to turn to a loved one. There was no one there to comfort Olivia. She would have wanted to lean into Ruslan’s strong chest and feel his heartbeat against her ear. That was her favorite spot. She didn’t mind that he was so much taller than her and actually liked that fact.
It gave her the perfect position to hear the pounding of his heartbeat. When they were dancing, if she squeezed him closer, his heart would beat faster. When she held him after making love, his heart would beat slower. She wanted to hear that pounding now but knew that would be impossible.
She also couldn’t rely on Margot or Vera to mourn. These two ladies had been her closest friends in recent months, though Vera was turning sour pretty quickly. Still, how could they help Olivia mourn the loss of her employer when they were struggling with losing a father and husband? Those pains were incomparable.
She thought about her own father, thinking of Vera’s loss. She thought about how she didn’t know whether he was even still alive in prison or not. They probably would have called her if he died, right? She didn’t know any different. Losing Joseph was one of the hardest losses she had to deal with in a while, but still not as bad as having to lose Ruslan, or at least, who she thought Ruslan was.
She had begged Ruslan to spare Joseph’s life so recently, but instead, she discovered him moments after he had murdered his partner. Was that all just a façade? Had Ruslan been an evil billionaire this whole time just waiting for the right moment to strike? Was he just using Olivia for sex?
He probably feared what she might be able to say as a witness, so instead of killing her, he decided to keep her around as a play object. She felt disgusted and humiliated. She thought this man might actually love her, but instead, she assumed he was just trying to keep her quiet.
Was it Ruslan that had killed Peter as well? She wondered if she would have to fear for her own life now. She knew she could outrun anyone if she had to, but fighting a large man like Ruslan, or worse, Nikolai, would be no easy feat. She feared what might happen if she stayed in Russia any longer. Luckily, they had an officer patrolling the area in case Ruslan or someone worse came to take out the rest of the family. Margot would be passing soon, meaning Vera would inherit her father’s fortune. Peter didn’t have any kids, so would Ruslan kill Vera, too?
Perhaps Joseph had someone get the knife from Ruslan’s house, so he couldn’t kill again. Maybe this entire time, Joseph had been the one who suspected Ruslan and had someone break into his house to find the knife.
Perhaps Ruslan came back to the cabin to take what was his. He did seem to know what he was looking for when he broke in that night. That still didn’t explain the bank statements. Joseph was going broke, but why? Maybe someone murdered Joseph that was completely unrelated, and he had gotten mixed up in a bad drug deal.
She was so confused and sad she didn’t know what to think. The possibilities for what the truth of the entire situation was were endless, and Olivia couldn’t help but think of all of them. She just hoped for a reason for Ruslan to be innocent, so he could come back into her life as the man that she had originally thought he was. It hurt her to think of any other possibility, but the doubt got the best of her and she couldn’t help but think that Ruslan might be completely guilty in this scenario.
It was the morning after the ball and the three women hadn’t spoken much. Olivia had done her best to take care of the three women, but it was hard for her to remain so strong herself when she just wanted to break down and cry. She wasn’t very close with Joseph on a personal level, but she had still known him for a few years and seeing the way he was standing there, lifeless against the tree, did not make things any easier for Olivia.
Every time she closed her eyes she saw his, staring at nothing, dead and lifeless. The blood wasn’t even the worst part of it all. It was the eerie and unsettling feeling she had while walking towards Joseph that she couldn’t keep feeling over and over again either.
They each gave statements about the night, stating that they didn’t know what had happened. Vera stated that she had gone to bed and stayed there, Margot’s statement being the same. Margot hadn’t even realized that Joseph wasn’t in bed until she heard Olivia screaming when she made it back to the cabin.
She was just as confused as everyone else. They both had no idea who would kill their beloved Joseph, but after hearing Olivia’s statement, they believed it was likely Ruslan. They all wondered if he had killed Peter too, as it was a similar murder, this time just staged to not look like a suicide.
Olivia told authorities that she was just going on a nightly walk when she discovered Joseph’s body. She didn’t mention that she was planning on meeting Ruslan, or that they were going to likely hook up in that very spot. She didn’t tell them that it wouldn’t be their first time meeting there either. The authorities didn’t know about how Olivia and Ruslan kissed so passionately beneath that red tree, or that they had made love just a block away in a night of steamy passion. The police didn’t know that, Margot and Vera didn’t know that, and she wouldn’t be able to tell anyone either without it making her look guilty as well.
Vera confirmed her story by stating that she did like to go on night walks. Olivia thought Vera might try to throw her under the bus and claim she was up to something suspicious, but now that Vera thought Ruslan was a killer, she didn’t have much resentment towards Olivia anymore. She thought about all the times she felt better knowing that Ruslan had liked her more but wished she never would have kissed him in the first place.
She should have called the police on him the moment she realized he was the one who robbed them. Perhaps Joseph would still be alive if she had. That was much too difficult to think about and Olivia had to push those thoughts deep out of her head.
Olivia didn’t want to have to say, but she told the truth that she had seen Ruslan standing there with the knife. She wanted to think about it all herself and figure out more before she could confirm in her own brain that Ruslan was guilty. She couldn’t lie to the police any more than she already had, however. She hadn’t exactly lied, but she didn’t tell them all of the truth either.
If she didn’t tell them that Ruslan was there, and they found that out later, she would have only gotten herself into further trouble. It was best to just tell them exactly what she saw. They didn’t need to know what she was actually doing there. That wouldn’t bring Joseph back and that wouldn’t help them find Ruslan any quicker.
The police had ended up searching Ruslan’s place that night, finding nothing that would make them think he was the one to commit the murder. He didn’t have anything illegal in his home, and he hadn’t even prepared for the police to come before they did.
Olivia, or the police, had no idea where he might have gone after Olivia ran away from him and back to the cabin. They also searched Nikolai’s and Pasha’s home but didn’t find anything there, either. The police weren’t telling anyone much, so Olivia had to get all of her information from Russian news articles that were poorly translated on her browser.
She knew she wouldn’t find any good answers there but still wanted to make sure she was getting the whole truth of the situation before making any final judgements. She couldn’t stop wishing that she would find something that would obviously prove Ruslan’s innocence.
Still, the handwriting on the note with Joseph matched the handwriting of other things found in Ruslan’s home. He was the main suspect at the time. It looked as though he had given Joseph a note to meet him there, so he could kill him. Olivia hadn’t found the third note that Ruslan had given her anywhere, so that means it could have gotten into the hands of anyone at the ball.
Thinking about all of the people there made Olivia feel dizzy. If anyone that was at the ball was a different suspect, then surely that would mean an endless number of situations possible. She just wanted it to all be over and to be back home in her bed. She only wished that Ruslan would be coming with her, or at least visiting soon. As he was currently a fugitive, that didn’t look like it would be happening anytime soon.
The girls were still planning to leave the next morning. If the murder had happened any earlier than that day, they would have headed back, but instead, it was easier to keep their flights. They could have flown back that day if they wanted to, but they would have had to take coach, and the added stress on them all was not worth it. They needed some time to grieve and mourn anyways before they had to brave the long flight. When they got back to the States, it was likely that they’d have to deal with people following them for pictures and begging for interviews. It was already quickly becoming a viral story in America.
They still needed time to pack up their belongings as well. They had been living in that cabin for over a week, so they couldn’t just pack up quickly. Having to pack up after being somewhere for so long can be exhausting and having to do it while mourning the loss of a loved one made it so much worse.
She had to do all the laundry for the family as well before heading back. She felt guilty for the way she had treated Vera’s dress and knew she had to do whatever it took to make sure that it would be nice again. They didn’t have to worry about packing their jewelry, at least. It still wasn’t easy to gather all of the things they had brought with them while trying to process what had happened.
Olivia wasn’t sure what to do with Joseph’s things. She couldn’t bring herself to throw them away, washing them seemed strange, and it felt weird taking a dead man’s dirty underwear back to the States on the international flight. When her mother had died, her father sold most of her things and Olivia kept the rest. She still had plenty of her mother’s things in boxes at home but didn’t know why. Joseph was gone and keeping around his socks wasn’t going to bring him back.
They weren’t going to remind his loved ones of good memories either but tossing them out and giving them away just felt so morbid. She figured that could at least be something they could deal with when they returned home, but Olivia still couldn’t help but think of all these things.
She had been prepared for Margot’s death, but never would have thought she would have to help plan the funeral for Joseph. She assumed that after Margot died, she would leave the family and find work elsewhere. She imagined running into Joseph or Vera decades later, much older than they were at the time. She pictured maybe getting a Christmas card from Vera or possibly an invitation to her graduation. She didn’t know what exactly the future held for her and the Touhy’s final relationship, but she knew that it was nothing that she had envisioned.
She suspected Margot wouldn’t make it much longer. Vera was still trying to process losing her mother, but now she was thrown this intense curveball. Olivia never felt closer to the almost-orphaned young girl. She had her recent problems with Vera, but she would have never wished a life similar to hers onto the young girl.
At least the two had each other, since they didn’t have other siblings to rely on. Still, it was a difficult process that only each other knew what it entailed, and there was no way to grieve other than to do it alone. They might have had similar experiences, but they were still so different from each other and the perspectives they shared on the subject.
Vera hadn’t shown much emotion through it all. Olivia hadn’t even seen her cry yet. She was terrified when she returned from the cabin and immediately went into shock when she heard the truth about her father. She was normally loud, outgoing, and bubbly, but didn’t say much at all since she found out the fate of her father.
Margot seemed like she had done enough crying for the both of them. She was probably the most shocked, as she never would have thought that her husband would die before her. Now she felt guilty about leaving her daughter with no parents, even though the situation was beyond anyone’s control. Vera still kept a pretty composed demeanor, staring blankly into space and not saying much at all.
That wasn’t uncommon to see, and Olivia figured she was just internalizing the grieving process. This was the most difficult thing she would ever have to go through. Before that, her biggest problem was not getting enough likes on a selfie she posted. Did she even understand what it all meant? Olivia wasn’t too fond of her life, but she was glad that she experienced such difficult situations at a young age, so she would be able to handle whatever life had to throw at her in the later years.
She felt so sorry for wishing bad things on Vera or being happy at her disappointment in the different things throughout their trip. Although Olivia did love and care for Vera, and even saw her as a friend sometimes, she still felt pleased when she saw Vera getting upset over Ruslan. Olivia had to spend her time watching Vera get expensive clothing and gifts from different people all the time, so the fact that she got to be in the spotlight for once was nice. After seeing Joseph’s dead body, Olivia felt a new wave of guilt for reveling in Vera’s misery.
Vera didn’t deserve to have to go through that. Olivia wouldn’t wish that grief on her worst enemy. Although she hadn’t seen Vera completely break down yet, she knew that she was hurting deep inside. Not having parents wasn’t easy for Olivia, and she assumed that since Vera was older and closer to her parents, it was harder for her to have to lose them both.
They were both going to be gone probably within a year, so Olivia was heartbroken thinking about Vera having to endure two separate funerals for both of her parents. She wasn’t looking forward to the funerals herself.
Olivia would probably never be able to get the vision of Joseph’s body out of her head. He had put in his will that he wanted to be cremated, something that could be done in Russia. His ashes would later be flown back to Chicago and spread throughout the city. He loved going to the beach as well as Grant Park, so the family planned to spread some ashes there. It made it easier to travel back to the States as well. Olivia had felt sick at the idea of him being under the plane that they were riding home. Having to see his body propped up against the tree was bad enough.
He still looked so alive, standing against the tree like he had been. If he had just been laying in the snow, would she have seen him? Perhaps Ruslan would have pulled his car around, pretending like he hadn’t just murdered a man, if it was him who killed Joseph at all. Olivia wasn’t so sure and got more torn by the second. She was so confused and horrified at the same time. She was angry but scared, all strange emotions that she didn’t know how to manage. It was hard enough to figure out her emotions on a day-to-day basis but adding all of this tragedy made it so much worse.
Margot had asked Olivia to move in with her for the rest of her time, knowing that without Joseph, she would certainly need the extra help. Olivia normally just went to the house from morning until the evening and when Margot really needed her. It certainly made things easier than traveling with the family. She was able to go back home to her own apartment and not have to worry about getting robbed, murdered, or anything else that came along with being a part of the Touhy family.
Though she was reluctant, she knew that it was what she had to do. She couldn’t leave Margot alone at that giant house, grieving a husband. What did it feel like to be Margot at that time? To have to accept your own death and fate but also your husband’s at the same time? Olivia did not envy her one bit. She knew that it wouldn’t be easy to live with Margot and become her full-time nurse, but she knew that there was no other option. When Margot passed, she could move on to a new life.
She wanted to go to a different time, before she knew Ruslan, and meet him under different circumstances. She thought about what it might be like if they passed each other on the street. Would he have noticed her then? Would he have stopped to ask for her number? Would she have fallen for him so easily?
She knew from the moment she looked into his eyes that there was something different about him. Even after realizing that he was the one that robbed her, she still wanted to get to know more about this mysterious man. The fact that he was so wealthy and powerful made him more attractive as well, though Olivia still would have been intrigued if he was wearing a potato sack with a nickel in his shoe. There was just something about him that was so magnetic that drew Olivia in so deep. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to make it back to the surface.
She wanted to hold him close in a world where he didn’t have to murder his colleges for protection. Feeling his body against hers was the greatest thing she had ever felt in her life. The fact that she was so sure of that made it more difficult to accept as well. There had never been a time in her life that she questioned if she was in love until then.
No one had ever sparked her interest as much as Ruslan. She remembered back during the robbery how she wasn’t even so sure she would care if they killed her. After she met Ruslan, she knew she never wanted to leave his side. Fearing death made her feel all the more alive, and it was all because of Ruslan. She wasn’t quite back to the way she was before, still holding on to the hope that he was the good man she believed he had been.
She wondered how much of what they had been through was the truth versus how much was all just part of a bigger lie. Was he good at just saying what Olivia wanted to hear, or were his feelings for her real? He had done so many grand gestures, like taking her to the lounge and sending her the dress. She couldn’t believe that someone who did so much to prove they cared didn’t actually have any feelings at all. It was just too hard for her to stomach.
She felt sick thinking about their intimate moments together. Of course, physically, it felt good to be with Ruslan. He had an amazing body and he knew how to use it properly. He had given her more orgasms in their few times together than all the men Olivia had ever been with combined. She hadn’t been with a lot, but that was still saying a lot for one person.
It wasn’t just the way she physically felt that was so amazing either. She had an emotional connection with Ruslan that was indescribable. Making love to someone that you actually have deep feelings for was so much better for Olivia than the rest. It was the moments leading up to and after they had sex that made her crave more.
She could hold Ruslan or have him hold her for days at a time without getting bored. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed, and she could feel the soreness with every breath. If she were any older or unhealthier, she feared she might have had a heart attack by now.
How was she supposed to ever love again after this? She had never expected to find love in Russia. She thought by the time she was done there, she would have been the same exact person as when she left. Then she met Ruslan, and everything went numb. She didn’t want to see a future without him next to her and imagining life without him was a challenge. She had given him her all, entering the romance with an open heart, ready to get stabbed at any moment. It did indeed, and she wasn’t so sure that it would ever heal properly. How could she look at another man without seeing Ruslan’s handsome face?
All of these thoughts had flowed through Olivia’s mind while sitting in the living room alone. Margot and Vera had gone to bed immediately after dinner, and Olivia didn’t blame them. She wanted to do the same but had to make sure everything was taken care of before they departed in the morning.
She walked into her room and shut the door, hoping to not have to do anything the rest of the night.
She had pretty much packed and planned to fly home the next morning in her pajamas. She crawled into bed and looked out the window she had climbed out those few times to meet Ruslan. She was devastated that none of that meant what it had to her before. She jumped as she thought she had seen a shadowy figure pass by the window, but it was too dark to be sure.
She walked towards the window and opened the curtain, keeping the actual window shut and locked. Authorities still hadn’t found Ruslan. It would have been dumb for him to stick around Moscow. His wealth allowed for pretty much unlimited resources so anyone else would have darted as soon as they got the chance.
She realized there was nothing out there and only had her paranoia to blame for the shadows she kept seeing out of the corners of her eyes. She had been through so much that entire trip and didn’t think she would ever be the same again. Just as she made her way back to her bed, she felt someone come up behind her, putting a hand over her mouth.