Chapter12
Kendra looked in the mirror one more time. She wore a black dress for her mother’s funeral, of course. Sacha was coming with her. Viktor and Alia were bringing Cliff. She’d talked to him two nights ago. He was having a blast.
Kendra felt guilty since Alia was due in a month. They insisted that they’d be fine with Cliff and the baby, but Kendra wasn’t so sure. Hopefully, this would all be over by then. That gave Kendra a twinge. That would mean that she would have to leave Sacha.
She was used to Sacha being around. She was getting used to this lifestyle. She could get a better job and provide this lifestyle for Cliff. Now that her mother was no longer alive, she had some more freedom.
And she could pay Sacha back for the funeral expenses. He’d paid for it, just giving the funeral home his credit card. The man was generous. She was beginning to feel guilty. He hadn’t even tried to have sex with her.
She knew the doctor had cleared him. What was his problem? She was itching to have sex with him. She suspected that she’d have a long dry spell after she left his place. Might as well have as much sex as possible now.
Especially today. She was burying her mother. At a younger age, than she’d ever thought possible, but that was the problem with early onset Alzheimer’s. Kendra’s heart hurt.
Sacha appeared behind her. He put his arms around her. “I’m here, Kendra.”
“I appreciate that.”
If it weren’t for this man, she would be dead. Someone would be burying her. He kissed her head. “You ready?”
“I am.”
He took her hand. “I’m here for you, Kendra. You tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”
She smiled. “Just be here.”
He drove her to the cemetery. Viktor and Alia were already there. Cliff ran over to Kendra when she climbed out of the car. He hugged her. “Alia said that Grandma is in a better place.”
“She is, Cliff.”
He held her hand as they walked to the gravesite. Sacha was right behind her. It felt like a family. She kissed Alia and Viktor. “Thank you for bringing him.”
“No problem. He’s a really good kid. We’ve been having fun,” Alia said. She glanced at Viktor. “We bought a game system and I’m not sure who is having more fun with it, Cliff or Viktor.”
Viktor smiled. “What? Someone has to play with the kid.”
“Right. Taking one for the team,” Alia said, winking at Kendra.
What a sweet and easy relationship they had. Sacha squeezed her hand. Cliff was bounding around at her feet, dressed in a suit. A minister walked over to the gravesite.
“I’m Reverend Stone. I’ll be officiating,” he said.
He was a gray-haired man dressed in black. He did most of the funerals for the burials in this cemetery, so that had been good enough for Kendra. She wasn’t religious. She didn’t have any contacts at any churches.
Besides, the ceremony wasn’t going to be long. It was just them, but Kendra needed a little closure. Even if she’d been expecting this day to come for five years.
The minister did his best, but he hadn’t known her mother. Kendra herself hadn’t known her mother for some time, but remembered how she’d been. The minister left. They each put a handful of dirt onto the coffin. Then they all gathered around Kendra.
She appreciated the warmth of the family feeling. She’d miss these people.
“Tell me about your mother, Kendra,” Alia said.
They stood by the gravesite. The day had dawned warm, but not too hot to be out in the sun. Kendra thought for a moment. What could she say about her mother? What would make them understand what an amazing person she’d been in her prime? Before this awful disease had taken her from Kendra and Cliff.
“She was supportive and loving,” Kendra said finally. “When I said I wanted to go to college, she never doubted that I could do it. When I applied to law school, she was behind me one hundred percent,” Kendra said.
Sacha held her hand. “She sounds like our mother. Whatever I said I wanted to do, my mother gave me encouragement.”
Kendra smiled, tears forming in her eyes. “I have already grieved for her most of the way. The woman I knew had been gone for a while.”
Cliff squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, Kendra.”
She looked down at her brother who had been her only family for the last five years. Then back to Sacha and Viktor. They seemed like family now and she regretted that she’d have to eventually say goodbye to them. It made her heart hurt even more.
Sacha must have sensed her feelings because he took her in his arms. “It’s okay, Kendra. We’re here.”
She took in his warmth. Then she stepped away. “Can I have a moment alone?”
“Sure,” he said.
They moved away from her, giving her space. She looked at her mother’s coffin. “Goodbye, Mom. I love you.”
Then a shot rang out. Kendra didn’t know what to do. Sacha ran to her, then grabbed her. He shoved her into his car. She looked back as they drove away. Viktor was getting Alia and Cliff into his car.
“What the hell?” Kendra said.
“Guess my security didn’t work,” Sacha said. “Damn them.”
“How could anyone find me up here?”
“I don’t know, sweetie, but I’m not happy.”
“You think we’re safe at the house?”
“Yes. We have lots of security. I feel safe there.”
She sat back, her mind whirling from the events of the day. It wasn’t even lunch time and she was wrung out already. This was nuts. She had to do something. She couldn’t just sit here.
Sacha put his hand on her knee. “Don’t get any ideas. I’m going to keep you safe and when they find Lopez, you’ll be fine.”
***
Sacha drove down the long driveway to his house. Kendra had fallen asleep not too long into the ride. She was probably feeling horrible after the day they’d had. His heart went out to her. She’d buried her mother and gotten shot at all in one day. Half a day, since it was just lunchtime.
This was the most serene he’d seen her in a few days. He was pretty sure taking care of him had taken a little toll on her. He’d make it up to her. Whatever she wanted today was hers. Money was no object, but he’d bet that Kendra wouldn’t choose things.
She’d choose experiences.
He parked the car in the garage, closing the door behind him. He turned off the ignition, but Kendra didn’t stir. He studied her. She was a beautiful woman. Sometimes he wondered what she saw in him. Why had she agreed to that contract? Did she feel obligated to sleep with him?
Since regaining his memory, he was having guilt about their arrangement. His ego wanted her in his bed because she wanted to be, not because she had to be. Should he tear up the contract?
She still didn’t wake. She must need the sleep. So he left her in the car to go fill up the bathtub. He put candles around it then lit them. A good soak would do her body good.
“What are you doing?” Kendra said.
She was in the doorway, sleep still in her eyes, making them darker than usual.
“I was drawing you a bath. It’s been a rough day.”
“Did you call Nik?”
“Not yet. I wanted to see what he had to say about your safety. I don’t want to move again unless we have to, but I will. We have other options.”
She yawned and stretched. “I’m hungry.”
She looked like a dark kitten. He smiled. “I’ll make lunch while you’re in here.”
“Okay. Thanks, Sacha. I appreciate your presence here. And Alia and Viktor.”
He kissed her nose as he left her to her bath. “No problem, sweetie.”
Had he just called her sweetie? It seemed natural and she didn’t call him on it. He made them some sandwiches, then went back to the bathroom. Kendra was in the tub, and he began to think about her naked underneath those bubbles.
No, this was about soothing her. That didn’t involve sex for a woman.
“I made lunch, but it can wait if you want to stay in there longer.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m good. I’ll be prune-like if I don’t get out soon.”
He took a towel off the warmer and held it out. She rose out of the water looking like a darker version of Venus. God, the sight of her naked took his breath away. He’d like to skip lunch, but he wasn’t going to ask that of her.
She’d buried her mother this morning. She dried herself off, then wrapped a robe around her. “I’m ready for lunch.”
Oh, God. She was going to be naked while they ate. He was in trouble because all he could think about was peeling that robe off her.
He held out his hand. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
He led her to the kitchen where he’d made grilled cheese sandwiches. Kendra’s eye lit up. “I haven’t had one of these in years.”
“American comfort food.”
“Tomato soup?”
“Yes.”
He poured soup into bowls for them, placing one in front of her.
“How did you know?”
“I looked it up on the internet. I figured you could use some comfort today. It’s been a rough one.”
She kissed him on the lips, her hands framing his face. “Thank you, Sacha.”
She picked up the sandwich then dipped it into the tomato soup. Sacha watched as she took a bite, her eyes falling closed.
“You dip the sandwich in the soup?” he said.
“Yes.”
“Why is this comfort food?” he said as he picked up the sandwich.
He’d cut them into quarters as he’d seen online.
“Because in the winter time, my mother used to serve this to me for lunch on Saturdays when I was home from school.”
“I see. It makes you think of home.”
“What would your comfort food be?” Kendra asked.
“My mother’s borscht. She made it on winter Saturdays too, and the house would smell like it for the next two days,” he said.
She smiled as if she liked that he’d shared that. He liked her smile. Full of life despite what she’d gone through that day. He dipped the corner of the sandwich into the soup, then took a bite. The cheese was warm and soft. The soup gave it a sweet flavor.
“Interesting,” he said. “It’s not borscht, but I could see how this would be warming on a winter’s day.”
Kendra clapped her hands together and laughed. “We’ll make you an American, yet.”
“I think I’m pretty American.”
She smiled. “Have you ever had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?”
“Maybe once. My roommates in college used to eat them when they didn’t like what was in the dining hall. I’m from Russia. We eat what’s served. No choices.”
“Then let’s have them for dinner.”
Her smile warmed him and he’d eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner if it made her happy. If that smile stayed on her face. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d never given up this much of himself. Ever. Never.
But this was Kendra. This was one day in her life. He’d get back to normal when she was gone.
For some reason, that didn’t warm him. The idea that Kendra wouldn’t be in his life left him cold. He shouldn’t feel that way. He had to remember. This was just sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.
At least he’d made her feel better after the funeral and shooting.
*
Kendra had enjoyed her lunch. She’d also enjoyed Sacha’s company more than she had in a while. He was unguarded. Silly, even. He’d been trying to cheer her up and been doing a great job of it.
She cleared away the lunch dishes. Sacha watched her.
“I’m okay. I’m not going to shatter, Sacha.”
“I know that.”
“Then stop looking at me as if I’m going to explode.”
“I’m sorry.”
She was washing the dishes. He came up behind her and put his arms around her. She basked in his warmth and strength. Leaning her head back onto his shoulder, it all felt right. That scared her. It shouldn’t feel this right. This was sex.
Speaking of which, she wanted some. She wiggled her butt against him.
“Hey. Don’t do that. It could have consequences,” he said.
“I’m hoping.”
“I can’t ask that of you, Kendra.”
“I need it.”
She heard his sharp intake of breath. “Really?”
She dried off her hands, then turned in his arms. “Yes, Sacha. I need to feel alive today.”
“If you insist.”
He scooped her up then strode to their bedroom. She shouldn’t think of it as their bedroom. This was Sacha’s bedroom. Up the steps they went. He wasn’t even out of breath when he put her on the bed.
“You’re sure?” Sacha asked.
He was being so sweet. Like a boyfriend. Why was he being so sweet? It unnerved her. Not that he’d ever been anything but good to her, but today there was something different about this behavior. Something in his eyes and the way he looked at her.
“I’m sure. Take me to bed, Sacha.”
She stood then stripped off her robe. He watched from the bed, an amused smile on his face. With her robe in a heap on the floor, she stood naked in front of him. He got to his feet, taking his time, his gaze roving over her the way he wished his hands would.
He took her face in his hands as she tugged at his shirt.
“Get these off, Sacha.”
He chuckled. “My little minx is in a hurry.”
“I need to feel your skin against mine. I need it, Sacha.”
She let him remove his shirt then she pushed her breasts up against his chest. Her fingers went to his pants. He was naked in another few seconds. His erection nudged her in the belly as she pulled him into a kiss.
“Not sweet, tonight, Sacha. I need fast and hard.”
“As you wish.”
She climbed onto the bed. He slid onto it beside her.
“I want to be on top.”
“Whatever you want.”
She needed to establish sex between them. It had to go back to that. Sacha being sweet was going to lead her to a broken heart. She didn’t want that. She could walk away from a physical relationship. If she gave him her heart, he might stomp on it unintentionally.
She didn’t want that. She’d have to be able to move on with her life when this was all over. Which meant her heart had to be intact.
Sacha rolled onto his back. Kendra climbed on top. She was poised over his erection when she looked into his eyes. She saw herself and that scared the shit out of her. She closed her eyes before sliding him into her.
“Oh,” he said.
She braced her hands on either side of him and set up a hard and fast rhythm. She was close to coming just thinking about Sacha naked. Now she was on the edge and it wouldn’t take much to push her over.
Sacha reached up and played with her breast. That was all she needed. Into the abyss she went, not sure if she was still moving on top of him or not. She no longer felt her limbs. Sacha said her name with a grunt as he came.
Spent, she leaned on his chest. His heart beat a staccato. Hers answered it. She wanted to push away. Run out into the woods and deny what her heart was trying to tell her. Instead, she snuggled closer, realizing in that moment that they’d forgotten the condom.
“We forgot the condom,” Sacha said.
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”
He let out a sigh, but he didn’t sound all that relieved.
“I hope you don’t think I forgot the condom on purpose,” she said, body tensing.
He rubbed her back. “No, I don’t, Kendra. I trust you. I don’t think you’d trick me into anything.”
She let out a breath. Good. Because she hadn’t been trying to. She’d just forgotten it. “Since I’m on the pill, we can forget about the condoms. I haven’t been with anyone since I’ve been with you.”
“I’m clean. I always get checked.”
“Good. Then it’s settled. No condoms.”
He chuckled. “Good. I like feeling you.”
She rolled off him onto her back. He took her hand in his, then kissed it. There he was again. Being sweet and soft. Maybe he was doing it because of her mother, but he was making her heart melt. She was in danger of falling in love with him.
That would be bad. She’d take a long time to recover. Cliff needed her. Her job needed her. She couldn’t be holed up eating ice cream right from the pint. Sacha rubbed a spot between her brows.
“You’re thinking too much,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Yes. Just enjoy it all today. Reality will hit soon enough.”
She knew that, sadly. His reality wasn’t as bad as her reality. He had no idea what she was thinking. That her heart wanted to hear those words from him. If she could have left right now, she would have. She couldn’t.
She wasn’t safe, but then again, she wasn’t safe in here, either. She was going to fall in love with this handsome Russian man. If she hadn’t already. She hoped that when this was all over, that she’d forget about Sacha. And his sweet words and hot body.
Who the heck was she kidding?
***
Sacha was in New Jersey again. His lawyer had made some progress on finding his son. He glanced out the front window of Tom Fleischer’s office. The man was on the phone, so Sacha waited in what looked like a lobby in the store front office.
He puzzled over what Kendra had been like after her mother’s funeral. He hadn’t known what that was all about. Was she just grieving? She’d seemed mad, almost. She stayed with him that night, but she was up before him in the morning, which was odd.
She acted like nothing had happened, but he sensed a distance between them. Had he crossed a line? He reviewed what he’d done and said. He’d been romantic. Could that have been the problem?
He didn’t think so. Most women liked romance. Even if they weren’t interested in a long term commitment, a little romance went a long way. Made everyone happy, but Kendra’s reaction had not been what he had expected.
Even this morning she wasn’t herself. Hopefully, she would be back to normal, or at least closer to normal, when he returned. He wanted to give her some slack since she had just buried her mother.
“He’ll see you now.”
Sacha went into the lawyer’s office with trepidation. He hoped for good news, but wasn’t sure he should be optimistic. This may be one of those situations where throwing money at it didn’t solve the problem. He hadn’t encountered many of those in his life.
Still, he would be prepared to grease palms if necessary.
“Have a seat, Sacha.”
Even though he spent more of his life here in America, Sacha sometimes was taken aback with how easily Americans started using your first name. Even in business. There was no small talk. Americans—they got right to the point.
Sometimes Sacha preferred that. Like now, when he wanted to know if the man had made any progress in finding his son.
“So?”
“I have some good news for you. I’ve tracked down Ethan.”
“Good.”
“You can see him. I’ve arranged it. I’ve also arranged to have a nurse come with us to draw blood for a paternity test.”
“Good. That’s a lot of good news.”
“I’ll take us there.”
Sacha climbed into the lawyer’s S Class Mercedes. Nice ride, but Sacha wasn’t into luxury, and Mercedes was known for that. Which was why he had his Aston Martin. Power. Speed. Sport.
Tom drove out into the countryside of Hunterdon County. Sacha liked the area, but it wasn’t close enough to Manhattan to settle down. He saw a winery for sale. Hmm. Might be fun to buy that and have another place in the country.
The lawyer pulled into the driveway of a house that was set back from the road. It had a brick front and Sacha had a much better feeling about this house than Berman’s residence. A woman in scrubs climbed out of a car parked in front.
“Sacha, this is Ellie, the nurse I hired to get blood samples. We can do yours back at the office or here.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m not afraid of needles,” he said.
“Let’s go inside. The foster family is waiting for us,” Tom said.
The inside was as neat and attractive as the outside. They entered into a two-story foyer with wood flooring. A woman in jeans and blouse greeted them.
“Cathy Tully, nice to meet you,” she said.
“I’m Sacha Kozlov.”
“Ethan is playing a video game in the living room. Shall we go in there? He’s a little nervous about all of this,” Cathy said.
Tom introduced himself to the nurse before they all trooped into the living room. A boy sat with a controller in his hand. He eyed the adults entering the room. Cathy sat down next to him.
The boy had Sacha’s eyes. The shape and the color were what he saw in the mirror every morning.
“Ethan, this is Mr. Kozlov.”
“Hi,” Ethan said. He held out his hand.
Sacha shook it. “Nice to meet you, Ethan.”
“You’re the man who might be my father?” Ethan said.
So they had told him the story. Sacha sat down next to him. “I might be.”
“What if I’m not?”
“Then I’ll be disappointed and have to keep looking,” Sacha said.
The boy nodded as if he understood disappointment. Sacha felt a pang of guilt in his heart.
“This woman is a nurse and she’s going to take blood from us to see if our DNA matches. If it does, I will know that you’re my son.”
“What if I am your son?”
“Well, I’ll go about adopting you. I signed away my rights when I was young, but I’m hoping I can make up for that,” Sacha said.
“Okay.”
“Let’s do this at the kitchen table,” the nurse said.
Sacha sat down. Ethan sat across from him, watching him. Could Sacha truly see a lot of himself in the boy or was it wishful thinking? The nurse took her vials of blood, then left. Sacha turned to Cathy. “Is it okay if we hang out for a few minutes? I’d like to talk to Ethan.”
Cathy nodded. “Go out on the deck. I’ll get you some lemonade.”
Tom came with them, but was off at the other end of the deck.
“What do you do?” Ethan asked.
“I do real estate development and I’m opening up a nightclub,” Sacha said.
“Do you make money doing that?”
Sacha laughed. “I do and I could afford a little boy around, if that’s what you’re worried about. You wouldn’t have to worry about food or clothing.”
“Good. Why did you give me up?”
Sacha had expected this question. He had mulled over his answer. “Because I was young and not in love with your mother. It seemed like the right thing to do. I think if I had met you, I might have changed my mind.”
“Do I have any brothers or sisters?”
“Not yet.”