29

“Why are you back? We weren’t expecting you until Christmas Eve.”

Marilyn leaned down and placed a loud smack of a kiss on Stuart Jr.’s cheek. “You don’t sound like you’re glad to see me.”

He playfully pulled her hair. “Keep it up and I’ll start thinking you like me.”

She sat on the sofa beside him. “I’ve always liked you. It’s just your personality that sucks.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, ouch is right. And speaking of pain, I hear you’re doing great with your physical therapy.”

“I’m trying.”

“And I’m glad you are. According to Mom, you haven’t had even one pity party.”

He shrugged. “Was I supposed to?”

“No, but that never stopped you before.”

“Ouch again,” he said, grabbing his arm as if her words had pained him. “Did you come all the way from Houston just to insult me?”

“Nope.”

“Then don’t.”

Marilyn smiled. She was having fun sparring with her brother, something they had done all the time when they’d been kids. But they’d done a lot less of it once they’d gotten older. She knew exactly when things had changed. It was after girls began filling her brothers’ heads that they were God’s gift to women.

“So why are you back?”

She flopped down on the sofa and glanced over at Stuart Jr. “Do I need a reason to come home?”

“Yes, especially since you have a boyfriend now. Where is he, by the way?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, I see.”

Marilyn figured with her brother’s womanizing reputation, he probably did. “And what do you see?”

“I have a feeling you dumped the guy.”

His statement surprised her. “I dumped him?”

“Yes and it’s a shame if you did. I liked him. I might have been doped up on meds, but I could tell he cared a lot for you.”

“You think so?”

“I can only say what I saw.”

She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Like you said, you were pretty doped up.”

“Ro and the folks weren’t on any meds, and they all thought the same thing. So tell me, Lynnie, why are you here?”

Marilyn drew in a deep breath. Lynnie had been her brothers’ nickname for her, only neither one of them had called her that in years. At least, not since they claimed she’d forgotten that blood was thicker than water. They accused her of sympathizing with the women they’d dated too much to suit them. And after Stuart Jr. married, she had become one of Arlene’s biggest supporters. That had driven a wedge between her and Stuart Jr. At the time, she hadn’t cared. She’d known what her brother was capable of.

“Lynnie?”

Maybe it was his use of the nickname, or the fact that they were sitting on the sofa talking in a way they hadn’t done in years, that got to her. All she knew was that he’d become her big brother again. The one who’d promised to always be her protector.

According to her parents, Stuart Jr. had changed. He was even attending church on a regular basis. Hallelujah! It was as if that crazy woman Greta had shot some sense into him. It was sad, however, that it had taken a near tragedy for that to happen.

Her parents said that he limped out the door twice a week to attend physical therapy. He told them he was working hard to get himself together so he could get his wife back. Marilyn knew Arlene called on occasion to see how Stuart Jr. was doing, but she refused to come to visit him and was careful not to give him false hope that she would ever take him back.

“I caught him playing your games, Stuart Jr.,” she finally said.

Her brother went still and stared over at her. “Are you saying you caught him two-timing you?”

She quickly shook her head. “No.”

“Then what?”

She really didn’t want to talk about it, but she needed another perspective. A man’s. So, moments later, she began telling Stuart Jr everything. When she finished he didn’t say anything for a minute. And then in a quiet tone he said, “Ro and I just weren’t ready to settle down. It never occurred to me, and I’m sure it never occurred to Ro either, that you would assume all men were like us.”

She shook her head again. “I don’t think that.”

“Don’t you, Lynnie? You rarely dated in high school and I doubt you went out at all in college. You were afraid the guy would be like us and you would be like all those girls we hurt. I regret doing that to them.”

She stared at her brother, surprised. Had he honestly said that?

“At the time, I didn’t realize what kind of impact our actions had on you. I was one selfish bastard.”

She nodded. “Yes, you were. And conceited, too. Don’t forget that one.”

“Okay, selfish and conceited.”

A small smile touched her lips. “And self-centered.”

“Stop while you’re ahead, Lynnie. Now back to Jonathan.”

She was surprised he remembered Jonathan’s name. “What about him?”

“I think you were wrong about what he did.”

“He deliberately had me transferred to another school, Stuart Jr.”

“Dammit Lynnie, what was he supposed to do? He’d fallen for you. Before long, you would have been stealing kisses, or worse. It would have been just a matter of time before someone found out. Then you both would have lost your jobs. As far as I’m concerned, he was looking out you. He did you a favor.”

He paused for a moment, thinking. “Is the job you’re doing, the one he transferred you to that school to do, so awful?”

“No. I love what I do?”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“He played me.”

Stuart Jr. shook his head. “No, it sounds like he saw you as the woman he wanted in his life, and took steps to make sure that happened. Nothing could have happened if you’d stayed where you were. You were temptation, and so he found a way to create some distance between you.”

“He could have told me,” she argued.

“No, he couldn’t have. Admitting to being interested in you would have violated that no-fraternization policy, even if he’d never made a move. I know. We have a similar policy at the police department. A lot of good officers have lost their jobs over it, even though they’d done everything in their power to keep the relationships under-wrap. Trust me, others can detect when something is going on. Nothing is a secret forever.”

Marilyn didn’t say anything, but appreciated the fact that her dad had decided to come into the room at that moment to watch the evening news. Her mother had left an hour ago to visit a sick neighbor. Before she’d left, though, the four of them had done something they hadn’t done in years--eat dinner together. The only person missing had been Ro, who had gone back to medical school.

“So when are you going to buy a car, Marilyn?” her father asked.

She glanced over at him. According to her parents, Stuart Jr. was taking care of all their financial needs, since he was now living with them. So they had told her not to send any more money. “Hopefully, before New Years.”

“Good. You’ve been without one long enough,” her father said.

Stuart Jr. leaned over and whispered, “And don’t you think you’ve been without your man long enough as well?”

* * * *

Sitting astride Lark’s back, Jonathan galloped across the plains of Whispering Pines. The wind was hitting him in the face but he didn’t mind. He needed this feeling of freedom, this sense of release and this measure of self-determination. He had to find the willpower to let go of a woman he had allowed into his very soul.

So he rode. Like the wind. With the wind. With the sense of a man fighting to survive.

Robert had talked to him last night, trying to get him to see the part he had played in all of this. Jonathan did see it, but still, he’d already apologized to Marilyn for his underhandedness. What he regretted was not telling her the truth himself. Now he wished he could have found another way for them to be together without breaking any rules...even if it meant that he left Parkwood instead of her.

But it was done now. And all he could do was find a way to purge Marilyn from his heart. He’d fallen in love with her so quickly, maybe he’d get lucky and fall out of love the same way. He doubted it, though. Marilyn had left her mark on him. And because of what she’d done, how she’d betrayed him, he’d never love again. She had definitely been the one. And now it was done.

Slowly bringing the horse to a trot, he breathed in the crisp air. He looked toward the mountains and squinted his eyes against the fading sunlight, convinced a sunrise or sunset on Whispering Pines was the most beautiful view anywhere.

He tightened his hands on the reins to bring Lark to a stop near a bunch of low hanging trees. Suddenly he felt a pain in his heart when he remembered this place. It was where he had brought Marilyn just last week. Without realizing it, he’d been led here. Why? Was returning here the way to clear her from his thoughts?

Was it a way to help him forget how he had made love to her, how good he’d felt being inside of her, stroking her from the inside out? To erase her scent from his mind, or the way her hair felt beneath his fingers? The way she looked in her clothes? Without her clothes? The way she said his name? The way…

He had to stop. Here and now. He had loved her, but she had proven she didn’t deserve his love. He had to move on. Somehow, someway, he would endure.

Shifting in the saddle, he looked over at the lake and recalled his father once saying that the waters from that lake had a way of cleansing a man’s soul. As he dismounted and tied the horse to one of the tree limbs, he wanted to believe that. Because he wasn’t inclined to catch pneumonia by taking a swim, the way he’d done many times with his brothers in their younger days, he hoped a good face washing would do.

After removing his Stetson and placing it on his saddle, he walked to the lake’s edge and dropped down on one knee. Scooping up water in his hands, he washed his face, loving the cool sensation against his skin. Moments later, he stood and glanced around, refusing to remember the way he and Marilyn had walked around the lake, holding hands.

Suddenly, he remembered about the hunting cabin nearby. It was only five miles away, and was the place he’d gone when he had received the news about his Aunt Victoria’s senseless death. To cope. He would spend some time there next week. Alone. He needed the isolation to get over another death.

The death of his heart.