32

Jonathan groaned in sleep as he felt his body get hard. A part of his mind knew he was dreaming of making love to a woman, just like another part knew it wasn’t just any woman. It was the woman he wanted to hate. The woman whose scent seemed to take over the entire damn cabin. The woman whose body he was dreaming about sinking into.

Why was he allowing himself to dream of her when she had caused him so much pain? But his body was proving it still desired her. He thought about the way she had dropped his keys into her sweater. He’d been tempted to reach in and pull them out. Even now, he was remembering how soft her breasts were....

Suddenly, he was jolted awake by an urgent pounding on his bedroom door. He jerked upright in bed. What the hell? Quickly getting out of bed, he grabbed for his jeans and slid into them, not bothering with the snap. Walking over to the door, he snatched it open. Marilyn stood there, a terrified expression on her face. It took everything he had to remain emotionless and detached. “What do you want, Miss Bannister?”

“I heard a noise by the window. Something or someone is trying to get inside.”

He glared at her. “It’s probably just a bear. Go back to sleep.”

He was about to close the door in her face when she said, “A bear! I can’t sleep knowing that a bear is trying to get in here.”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course, he’s trying to get in. He figures it’s nice and warm inside and there’s probably plenty of food. Ignore the noise.”

“I can’t. I won’t be able to sleep.”

He frowned. “And how is that my problem?”

Marilyn found it hard to believe that this was the same man she’d known, the one who used to see to her every need, who pampered her, who took so much pleasure in spending time with her. And now he was acting like a total jerk, all because of what his mother had referred to as the Madaris pride.

Well, he hadn’t seen what her parents referred to as the Bannister fury. But he was about to.

“I’m making it your problem, Jonathan Madaris.” She pushed past him and got in the bed.

He turned and stared at her, his mouth dropping. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting some sleep. I’m a guest here, so there is no reason I should be the one sleeping on the sofa. Since the sound of a bear trying to get into this place doesn’t bother you, then you deal with it. Please close the door behind you.”

Jonathan stood there and stared. Not only had he been put out of his bed, but he’d been dismissed. Like hell! He stalked over to the bed. “Get out of my bed, Miss Bannister.”

“No! I’m tired. And I can’t sleep with a bear out there.”

Jonathan couldn’t believe her. Wasn’t she the one who’d shown up uninvited? He couldn’t wait until morning to get rid of her. “I don’t intend to give up my bed,” he snarled.

“And I don’t intend to fight you for it, Jonathan. As far as I’m concerned, we can share it as long as you stay on your side. It’s plenty big enough.” She scooted to the far side of the bed.

He stood there and watched as she cuddled under the covers, then shifted to her side to face the wall, her back to him. A few moments later, he could hear the even sound of her breathing. She had actually fallen asleep! But if she thought he would share the bed with her, she thought wrong. He would sleep on the damn floor first.

Feeling himself getting madder by the minute, he stormed out of the bedroom.

* * * *

Marilyn awakened to the smell of bacon frying. Or was it sausage? It didn’t matter. Whatever it was, it smelled good. She stretched and noticed that the sheets beside her hadn’t been disturbed. Jonathan had obviously chosen to sleep on the sofa. Oh, well. She’d fallen asleep quickly, surrounded by his scent in the bedcovers. She’d liked that.

She needed to brush her teeth and wash her face, but her overnight bag was in the living room closet. Jonathan was awake already. Did she want him to see her in her pajamas? Then again, he’d seen her wearing nothing at all.

Getting out of bed, she opened the door and walked into the living room. He was standing by the stove wearing only a pair of jeans. He glanced over at her, then frowned. “Where are my keys?”

She smiled at him. “Good morning Jonathan. Sleep well?”

Instead of answering, he just glared at her. “I don’t know what my mother told you, but I don’t want you here.”

“That’s what she told me.”

“Then why did you come?”

“Because I’m hoping we can work things out.”

She’d been honest but her words seemed to infuriate him even more. “There’s nothing to work out.”

She placed her hand on her hips. “Were you lying when you said you loved me?”

He frowned again. “What I said means nothing now.”

Instead of responding, she went to the closet to get her overnight bag, knowing he was watching her every movement. Too late, she remembered she was wearing shorty pajamas that often rode up her hips when she bent over. And she was definitely bending over, giving him a good view of the shape of her backside.

She quickly straightened and turned to look at him. He had been watching, although he was pretending not to. But she’d seen that flicker of desire in his eyes before he’d muted it. Without saying anything, she grabbed her bags of toiletries and headed back to his bedroom, closing the door behind her.

* * * *

Jonathan rubbed his hand down his face, convinced he was cracking up. He should have tossed Marilyn out on her rear end--her gorgeous rear end--the minute he walked in and found her sleeping on his sofa. His mother obviously thought she was smart by leaving Marilyn here without transportation. But he’d take her home, as soon as he could. He had to admit, she’d surprised him when she’d taken his car keys.

She had accused him of playing games, but she was the one playing games now. He’d told her how he felt about her being here, but it didn’t seem to matter. She was going to do just what she wanted to do. Hell, she’d even kicked him out of his own bed. He hadn’t slept on anyone’s sofa in years, and never his own.

Okay, so she hadn’t actually kicked him out of his bed. She’d offered to share it with him, but that would have been asking for trouble. There was always a chance that, while sleeping, he would be drawn to her scent and to her. He hadn’t wanted to risk that happening.

Pouring a cup of coffee, he sat down at the table and ate while thinking of ways to get Marilyn away from here, if she refused to return his keys. He could do something he hadn’t done in years--send out smoke signals to his brothers. While growing up on Whispering Pines, Lenno Descheeny, a full-blooded Navajo whose job had been to handle the horses, had taught them how to send and read smoke signals. For years, that’s how he and his brothers had communicated out on the range. He wondered if it would work now. But then, there was a good chance they wouldn’t respond, not even to a SOS signal. Especially if they knew their mother was behind Marilyn’s presence at the cabin.

“Whatever you cooked smells good.”

He glanced up and wished he hadn’t. Marilyn had changed into a pair of jeans and pullover sweater in a shade of blue that did something to her gray eyes, making them appear more vibrant. And her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He’d never seen her wear it that way and thought the style made her look younger.

Instead of responding, he got up from the table and placed his plate and cup in the sink. Then he moved past her to go into his bedroom, again slamming the door behind him.

* * * *

Not that she’d been timing him, but it had been more than an hour since Jonathan had stormed into his bedroom. When he finally came out, she said, “I was beginning to wonder if you’d forgotten you had a guest.” He’d showered and changed clothes, and was now wearing black denim jeans and a plaid shirt. He smelled good.

“You are not a guest. We don’t have anything to say to each other. I don’t know how to make it plainer than that.”

“You can’t.”

He lifted a brow. “Then why are you here?”

“To apologize. I tried apologizing before, but you wouldn’t accept it.”

“And you think I’ll accept it now?”

“I was hoping that you’d at least listen to what I have to say.”

“I heard what you said two weeks ago, and I know what you told Joseph.”

“But I withdrew my complaint, Jonathan.”

“You should never have made it in the first place,” he snarled.

It was obvious he was getting angry all over again. Then again, so was she. “You know what Jonathan,” she said, getting up and placing her plate in the sink. “It must be pretty taxing being perfect.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I never said I was perfect.”

“No, but you act like it. I guess you’ve never made a mistake in your life.”

“I’ve made plenty of them.”

“Oh, then I guess you’ve never had to apologize.”

“You’ve guessed wrong. And if you’ll remember, I did apologize to you. What you’re doing won’t work, so please refrain from using that psychology crap on me.”

That made her furious. “I admit what I did was wrong. But what about what you did? Sending me to another school after only teaching at Parkwood for two months. I thought I’d done something wrong.”

“And I told you why I did it. I had fallen in love with you.”

“But how could I believe you about something like that? In my world, people don’t fall in love without first getting to know each other.”

“Well, that’s the way it happens in my world, although I didn’t want it to. But I know it’s unusual, which is why I took things slow with you. I wanted to romance you. Court you. I wanted you to get to know me so when I told you how I felt, you would believe me.”

He paced back and forth. “But not only did you not believe me, you thought I had taken advantage of you! You had no reason to believe such a thing. You were even willing to ruin my career, something I’ve worked a lifetime to achieve, without a second thought. So, no, I won’t make things easy for you by accepting your apology. Whatever plans I had for the two of us are over, finished and done with. I refused to get involved with a woman who doesn’t trust me.”

She heard the anger in his voice. She also heard the pain. Her heart clenched when she realized what the threat against his career had done to him. And she hadn’t hesitated to destroy it with one complaint. Still... “But what about my career, Jonathan? What if you hadn’t come up with the math coach program? You would have sent me away to another school anyway. You weren’t the only one whose career was at stake.”

Maybe he was right. She shouldn’t have come here. She doubted she would ever get through to him, or earn his forgiveness. So why was she wasting her time? She drew in a deep breath when the answer quickly came to her. Because she loved him. She had known it for a while, and had even admitted it to herself. But she had never told him. Would he believe her?

“I made a mistake, Jonathan. A huge mistake. I thought you were like my brothers, treating me the way they treat their women. But I was wrong. And because of it, I’ve lost the only man I’ve ever loved.”

“Loved? Spare me. You don’t know the meaning of love.”

She opened her mouth to deny what he’d said, then closed it again. It suddenly struck her that he was right. She didn’t truly know the meaning of love, at least, not the kind of love he felt. The kind where a person could fall in love at first sight. The kind that had driven him to risk everything by sending her away. The kind that had made him take his time with her, patiently persuading her to date him and then actually courting her, letting her set the pace and make the decisions, even about the right time for them to make love.

So instead of denying what he’d said, she broke eye with him, and stared down at the floor, silently. Fear was gripping her insides. She was losing him. Probably had already lost him. All that Madaris pride had set in, like a solid brick wall that she couldn’t knock down. Her only chance was to try and dismantle the wall, one brick at a time.

She lifted her gaze and looked back at him. He had loved her, she was certain of it. Now it was up to her to make sure that she saw love in his eyes when he looked at her again, instead of the animosity she was witnessing now. “Okay, Jonathan, you’re right.”

She knew her words threw him for a moment.

“So you admit it. You don’t love me.”

She noted he’d said it as a statement, not a question. “No, I definitely love you. But I admit I don’t have anything to compare it to. I have never felt this way about another man before. I’ve never experienced those deep emotions, or the hunger I felt when I asked you to make love to me.”

Marilyn knew her words were reminding him of that night, that he had been her first. “But maybe you’re right about me not knowing the meaning of love…at least, not your kind of love Jonathan. But I believe I can be taught. God knows you are the most patient man I’ve ever known when it comes to showing me how to do things.”

“Even the most patient man has limits, Marilyn.”

Her breath caught. He’d called her Marilyn. Hearing that simple thing gave her hope. It also had her fighting back tears. “I know that and I don’t blame you for the mess I’ve made of things. I’m trying to clean it up, Jonathan, but I need help. I need you to show me. I want to know your kind of love. I want to be a part of your life forever.”

“Forever is a long time,” he said softly, and she could hear the anger slowly losing some of its power in his voice.

“I know, but that’s how I feel. I don’t want men in my life, I just want one man. A man who will love me. Understand me. Teach me. Comfort me. Support me. But most of all, accept I’m not perfect and that I’m human.”

“And what are you willing to give in return, Marilyn?”

“My heart, no strings attached.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’m tired of fighting with you, Jonathan. You don’t want me here. Okay, I get that. You no longer love me. I get that, too. Your mother brought me here because she believed you still loved me. But I can see she was wrong. There are some things a person can’t forgive or forget.”

She walked over to the huge portrait of the bear. Reaching behind it, she retrieved his car keys. Then she walked back to where he stood and handed them to him.

“I won’t force myself on you any longer, Jonathan.” She walked over to get her overnight bag. “Please take me home.”