I’m coming back. This is temporary. This is mine and he’s not taking this apartment from me.

The repeated litany wasn’t helping a whole lot. Maybe if Sasha wasn’t sitting there watching her pack, large as life in a chair that his frame was too big to even fit in properly.

She hated this whole thing. Packing in front of him felt like a performance. Was he judging her underwear? He was, wasn’t he? She stuffed things into her gym bag so fast she had no idea what she was even grabbing. The whole exercise felt pointless. She’d just unpacked last night. She’d stayed in hotels longer.

You have a lease, you know. Just because he wants you to go with him doesn’t mean you’re not coming back.

It was an interesting thought. One might even say empowering. She didn’t want to leave, so then why should she? She threw a t-shirt into the bag and stopped to look at him, hands on hips. “You know what? No, I actually like this place. I’ll go back with you, but you and I are quickly wrapping up whatever you need me for. I’m coming back here.”

He chuckled, and shook his head like she was crazy. “Whatever,” he said. “Get what you need and let’s go.”

“Not ‘whatever,’” she insisted.

“Yes, it is whatever. In an hour from now, you’ll be sticking your tongue in my mouth again.”

It was a crude taunt, designed to hurt. “Well if you were a gentleman, then maybe you would just resist if I tried it,” she muttered, picking up the bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

“Since when am I a gentleman?”

Well, she certainly couldn’t argue that one. Biting back half a dozen possible retorts, she suddenly realized she had bigger problems. “I’m not riding with you,” she announced, eyeing the car parked outside her window. Of course, his people would have retrieved the other car already. She had no doubt it was long gone without looking.

The problem was she no longer had a lot of options. He’d taken back the money. He’d taken back the car. Getting someone else to drive her was well out of the question, but the last thing she wanted was to spend a couple of hours riding shotgun with her creepy ex-boyfriend. Like it wasn’t already hard enough to look at him in the same room and remember what it felt like to be in his arms. To be in a closed space where she could smell his scent, could feel the warmth of his body right there next to hers as he drove. No way in hell was she putting herself in for that kind of torture.

Besides, what if that girl called, the one he’d talked to on the phone last night?

She swallowed hard. That wasn’t supposed to hurt. She’d broken up with him, after all. But it did. The thought left a tightness in her chest that made it hard to breathe. Him moving on was one thing. But him having someone within an hour or two of her leaving? That implied a sort of betrayal that felt like a kick to the stomach.

She just couldn’t deal with that.

So, she stared him down, arms crossed, and waited for him to come up with a solution.

Which he did. Just not the solution she wanted.

“Yes, you are, and this is the last of this bullshit, this back and forth,” he said as he stood and went to the door. “You don’t get to call the shots.”

“I don’t want to be in a car when your girlfriend calls.” She hadn’t meant to say that. Even with a sneering tone, it came off as whiny and pathetic.

He smiled. His face looked bright, as if he were happy about this accusation.

Dammit. Let him know you’re jealous, why not? She winced and tried to brazen it out. “Call me a cab. I’ll meet you there.”

“You’re riding with me. I’ll ignore the calls from other women, for the time being,” he said, and winked. Winked!

“Not on my account,” she retorted. “We’re single people. If you want to talk to a woman, go ahead. And if I want to talk to a man, I’ll feel free.”

He tipped his head and studied her. “Really,” he said, his eyes wide in mock disbelief. “And who would those candidates be?”

Kallie said the first name that popped into her head. It wasn’t a good one. “Jeremy.”

Sasha’s eyes flared, and the atmosphere in the room shifted. The air filled with the same electric charge as when an intense thunderstorm about to hit. “What?”

“Yeah, he’s been in touch.” It was an out and out lie, but he didn’t need to know that.

Of course, Kallie had forgotten who she was talking to. Sasha could verify in no time whether this was true. Right now, she didn’t care. The very idea of Jeremy might make her sick to the stomach, but right now she had no qualms about hitting Sasha below the belt with it.

From the way his left eye started twitching it had worked.

“In the car, now,” he ordered, in a voice so cold she was at risk for hypothermia. “I got the ground rules. Let’s go.”

A martyr would take the bus. Anyone with half a brain wouldn’t get in the car with him, especially with him this mad. Apparently, she was an idiot.

She followed him out to the car.

She trailed him miserably. The last thing Kallie wanted was to spend time with a former lover. A week ago, she’d been in love. For that matter, from the moment they met they’d spent all their time together except when he was working. Which actually had been quite a bit of time. But people who were self-employed were expected to put a lot of hours into their businesses, right?

Still, she’d been lonely. A lot. And while their love had been a passionate thing, you’d think he could have spared her a little more time beyond some totally amazing encounters in the bedroom.

That’s what the business was supposed to be, though, wasn’t it? A chance to spend more time together? An opportunity to interact in a way that would challenge not just her body, but her mind. Wonderful how that had turned out to be.

She really should have learned. It had been Sasha, along with her former fiancé, who had stabbed her in the back with her first business. Why she hadn’t at least half-expected it with the second only proved how idiotic she’d been acting. Of course, she hadn’t been expecting perfection overnight. It was difficult to learn how to work with someone new, especially when you were supposed to be partners and were still feeling out the whole division of work aspect to things. But even a rocky start couldn’t account for the way he’d left her out of every single business decision.

And then she’d caught him in the act, breaking the law again and using her as a front to do it. What girl would be expected to stay around after that?

Sasha’s driver waited patiently as they loaded up the trunk of the Lincoln. Sasha held the back door for her, always a gentleman even when he was so pissed at her.

But Kallie was still mad enough to continue to push his buttons. “No, that’s okay,” she said. “I’ll ride up front.” She didn’t even know she was going to say that. It just came out of her mouth.

Sasha towered over her. “You’ll ride in the back with me.” That booming voice of his left no room for arguments. This was no playful act of being the bully; he really was pissed, and was quite nearly at his limit with her.

Was she really wanting to go there over a seating arrangement?

More than a little scared she slid into the back seat, thinking how strange it was that love and hate could be so closely intertwined. As much as she didn’t want him talking to other women, as much as she wanted to feel his hands on her body again, she absolutely despised him. What’s more, she was starting to despise the person she became when she was with him.

“Now knock it off,” he muttered as he settled himself next to her.

Knock it off? How about start the whole thing over completely? But if she could turn back the clock would she have handled things differently? She’d like to think so. Yet if she had, she would never have learned that Sasha had at least one other woman on the hook.

And this was something she was going to need to remember. As much as she was aware of him, the way his shoulder brushed against hers as the car set into motion and they pulled out into traffic. As much as she was intoxicated by his aftershave... he really was the bad guy. You know, the guy who talked your ex-fiancé into ruining your business? That guy who’s been using you as a front for his new business? The one you were never allowed to run in the first place?

So, she turned away from him, suddenly interested in the passing scenery. Putting as much physical distance as she could between them, because she was still remembering the times he’d been sweet and soft-hearted to her, and was still struggling to remember how cold-blooded he’d been to talk to another woman in front of her like that.

He did you a favor. Remember that.

She pressed her forehead against the cool glass, trying to see the ocean between the trees, biting back tears because she absolutely refused to let him know that he’d made her cry.

The car ride was silent for the first hour, until Kallie couldn’t take the air conditioning anymore. Sasha always ran warm, and so blasted the icy air until she thought she was going to freeze. There was no way in hell she was going to ask him to turn it down, but the only blanket in the car was just behind Sasha’s head.

She recognized the moment he caught her eyeing it. His expression hardened, eyes narrowing. There was no way he was going to make this easy for her. “What?” he demanded, crossing his arms and positively daring her to say something.

She swallowed hard. She knew he’d be playing these games the moment she got into the car. Truth be told, she was a little surprised it had taken this long to begin. “I want to use the blanket.”

It was a stupid thing to get upset about. He wanted to hurt her, and was going to be as petty and small as possible. That the tears that had been threatening since she’d woken up and seen him there staring at her welled up in her eyes now over something so small as a blanket, left her feeling impossibly weak and vulnerable.

And let’s be honest, you’re crying because the big handsome Russian doesn’t like you very much at the moment. As if you need him to! My gosh, it might have been only a day, but hasn’t this been a long time coming? Let go already!

He reached behind him and, in doing so, his enormous muscles flexed.  Her brain short-circuited. Again. He was so massive and cut. Which was more than a little perplexing, because she’d never so much as seen him head to a gym, or actually do anything toward exercise. Ever.

...unless you want to count bedroom sports.

Argh. Stop already!

She thought he was going to hand her the blanket, but instead he unfolded it and draped it over her. It was too much. She wrested the edge from him and slid it over her shoulder for herself, turning away again to look out the window. There was enough left to wad some of the blanket up so that she could rest her head on it. This time as she stared out the window, there was no holding back the tears. She hid her face against the blanket and cried, swallowing down each sob, trying to make as little noise as possible.

For a few minutes, he didn’t acknowledge it in any way.

“You’re being ridiculous,” he said finally. “Sit up. Suck it up. You asked for this and you got it. Don’t cry like this is happening to you, unless of course those are happy tears.”

She wasn’t about to get into it with him. Suddenly furious, she tore the blanket from her and threw it at him with all the strength she could muster. Which, of course, didn’t work because it was a stupid blanket and all it did was settle over his head like a cheap magician’s trick. It would have been hilarious had he not somehow managed to latch onto her wrist, blind.

He squeezed it hard enough for her to gasp. A glance at the driver showed her she’d get no help from there, though she struggled hard to get free.

He jerked her to him as his other hand sent the blanket tumbling to the floor of the car. “Do not get violent with me, do you understand? Don’t shove me. Don’t throw shit at me.”

Her chest hurt. Terror... fear... anger... she couldn’t begin to name the emotions that tore through her. She couldn’t get air into her lungs, and she opened her mouth to scream.

“Breathe.”

She did as she was told. One shaky breath followed another as he relinquished his grip. Rubbing at her wrist, she retreated again to her place against the door, darting him uneasy looks for the duration of the car ride.

Another hour passed. It felt like ten. By the end of the trip, she’d been sitting so tense for the entire duration that she was wiped out by the time they got to what had been her home only yesterday.

Kallie stared dully out the window as the limousine pulled up in front of the place. She’d adored this place once. Now it felt like a step backwards to return here, like she’d lost something she couldn’t even name.

It took all her energy to drag herself from the car. Her gym bag felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. She was almost relieved when Sasha took her luggage from her and carried it himself.

Fine. Let him. Let him do all the work.

He dropped the bags in the entryway and paused to look at her. Whatever he’d felt for her was surely gone; the look he gave her was as hard and cold as he’d been all day. There had been no softening.

But then she’d never given him reason to soften toward her.

I’m not apologizing.

She lifted her chin with a hint of defiance that he ignored completely as he turned to go. “Take the rest of the day, but tomorrow it’s business as usual. Be at the bakery at the same time,” Sasha said, hand on the doorknob.

“Are you sending a car?” she asked, wondering just how she was going to take the bus when he’d taken all her money.

He hesitated like he didn’t want to. He looked towards the end of the street at the bus stop like he was thinking the same thing.

I need what...five bucks? Ten for the day? Is he going to make me beg for bus money?

She told herself she didn’t care. There was nothing wrong with taking the bus, even if she had to grab it before sunrise to get to the bakery on time. So what if the neighborhood was a little sketchy? She almost welcomed the challenge.

“Yeah, whatever,” he said finally, though he clearly wasn’t happy about it.

“You know what? You’re right,” she said, and she meant it, too. “I’m the one who wanted the independence, and I shouldn’t have asked.” He might have taken her cash, arguing that it had been his money, which it had been. But she still had her debit card and enough money in the bank to settle her for some time. So, who cared? There was a 7-Eleven not far away, and she could use the ATM there and get her own bus money. She didn’t need him for anything.

Right?

She suddenly pictured the neighborhood around that particular 7-Eleven and cringed a little inwardly. Getting cash from a machine and then walking to the bus stop didn’t feel like a great idea at all. In fact, it felt like a terrible idea. How the hell was she supposed to protect herself from would-be thieves?

“Really?” he asked, turning to face her. He drew himself up to his full height, his face a mask of fury. “Are you going to keep flipping back and forth? I’m willing to view this is as a major bump in the road, like ‘so it didn’t work out between us but maybe down the road, we can be amicable.’ Keep it up and that’s not going to be a possibility.”

“That’s how I meant it,” she insisted, throwing her arms up in a frustrated gesture. “I was saying it doesn’t make sense for me to ask for a ride if we’re not a thing anymore—”

“I’ll try to work with the lawyer to figure something out quickly,” he said, and for once didn’t look angry so much as tired and sad. “So we can be done with this.”

Kallie flushed. Okay, so she HAD been going back and forth on things. The whole day had been a disaster, and she was so rattled by this point she had no idea what she was saying anymore. Seeing him in the flesh had brought up too many memories. He was too tall, too handsome. And had been too exquisite in bed. What if she never experienced that again? Was she prepared for that, too?

Am I really that shallow?

But he was turning to go, and she couldn’t bear to end things on this note. She needed him to stay, she needed to hear his voice, to be in his presence for another minute. She really was that shallow. Or still that desperately in love. Did it matter which? She struggled to find a topic, something that would make him stay, and blurted, “What about the IT guys? Are they going to be here?”

The door was open. He really was leaving. “No. They won’t.” He sighed, and shook his head. “I really gotta go. But Kallie...”

Why did she still melt when he said her name?

“Yes?” Her voice came out breathless.

“Car tomorrow. Just be out front.”

“Thanks.”

And just like that he was gone.

As Kallie closed the door, she thought she would suffocate. It was torture being in his house. Their home. Everything reminded her of Sasha.

Not every memory was good.

But some... some were...

In the doorway of the master bedroom, she stopped at the threshold as if an electric force field would allow her to go no further. She and Sasha had had wild, ridiculous sex in this room. She could feel the energy of the ghosts of their lovemaking. She pressed her eyes tight and felt his breath raking his throat as he pumped in and out of her. She could see his magnificent smile when he knew she had come only for him. Again.

Now, all of that was in the past. She had seen to it.

I needed to. I did what was right.

But she couldn’t even look at the master bedroom, let alone step into it. She ventured down the hall to one of the other rooms she hadn’t bothered with before, and threw her bags just inside the door. It had a double bed, not a custom king-sized, but it was well furnished enough, and switching made her feel somewhat like she was retreating, which was what she wanted.

Kallie settled onto the smaller bed and stretched out to test the mattress. If she just put her head on the pillow, she would conk out. The drive had been brutal and had left her dead-tired physically, even if her mind was racing.

It was break-up racket. She lay there and relived every conversation she’d ever had with Sasha, trying to smooth things out, so she could avoid the incredible pain. It was the pain of losing her larger-than-life hero—a figment of her imagination. The only thing that would quiet her would be a lot of carbs or booze.

She threw the covers off  and ventured back to the kitchen, knowing, mad as he was at her, he’d probably stocked the fridge for her with all her favorites. She had only been gone for a day, but she knew that’s what he did. Sasha Petrov was the most amazing caretaker.

So, she stood with her hand on the refrigerator door and expected to find fruits, veggies, at least two different loaves of bread—one with seeds—and probably sweets. Sasha didn’t have an ounce of fat on him, but he had a giant sweet tooth.

Instead she found... nothing.

Just the foods that had been there the day before. Leftover takeout. A fruit salad that had seen better days.

This told her, more than anything else, that it was over.

He wasn’t going to do his magical caring thing for her anymore. There would be no sparkle of fresh food. In fact, if anything, the refrigerator desperately needed cleaning out, something she’d never had to do for herself since moving in. Whatever service had delivered all the nice things to eat had kept the fridge spick and span as well. She’d never had to think about it at all.

When was the last time he’d bought her food? She poked at a box of Chinese takeout, trying to remember when she’d last had Chinese. Had things been bad for a while now and she was only just noticing?

Get over him, girl. Like the way he’s gotten over you.

She replayed the sound of his voice saying ‘sweetheart’ to someone else over the phone until it created a raw wound within her. Whoever that was got the food. She got the wonderful Sasha treatment that made her feel like the most spoiled person in the world. She held on to the hurt as she dragged the garbage can over next to the fridge, and wondered where to begin.

I wonder what SHE has that’s worth stealing? I wonder what will happen to her if SHE starts snooping. I bet someone should warn her.

The way someone should have warned me.

Items started hitting the can with hard bangs. She started with the oldish stuff, but the next thing she knew she was heaving everything, good or bad, into the trash can. She went berserk, dumping the contents and scrubbing each shelf until it shone. It was good medicine to work through the dull throbbing ache in her chest.

I’m going to get through this.

She held on to that thought for all she was worth. It alone would get her through the next dark days.

Never had Kallie felt so confused. The man she was in love with was a criminal. She had walked away from him for a reason. He had another woman, for heaven’s sake.

So why did she still want him? Now that he was accepting her push for a break-up, and even going out of his way to give her some space, why then was she still standing here with tears streaming down her cheeks because she wanted the only man she’d ever been head over heels in love with?

Shouldn’t she be happy right now?

THUNK! A container of perfectly good cottage cheese hit the trash, followed by a brand-new bottle of salad dressing.

Oh, she was happy all right. Fucking ecstatic.