Sasha loaded Kallie into the car. At this point, she didn’t want to argue. Plus, she got a lot of freebie contact. He had the most amazing body she’d ever had the pleasure to touch, and the way things stood right now she wasn’t going to get a whole lot of opportunities to be hands-on. So maybe Kallie indulged in a little bit, letting her hands enjoy the feel of his skin beneath her palms. The feel of the rock-hard muscles in his arm and chest as he bent, brushing past her to open the door for her.

Yeah, it was wicked, but right now she needed wicked. She needed him.

Breaking up had been harder than she’d expected. She never would have thought the chemistry between them would still be so compelling, so delicious, when she’d been angry enough to break them apart. But someone seemed to have forgotten to tell her body what her head was all too aware of: Sasha was no good for her.

And she still wanted him.

So, she settled in the car, taking the passenger seat and watching somewhat warily as he walked around to the driver’s side. No uniformed chauffeur for this trip. This time Sasha would be behind the wheel. She eyed him shamelessly as he got in and shut the door.

I always feel so tiny next to him. But he outweighs me by a good hundred pounds... or so. I swear I’ve lost five pounds this week alone.

He carried the weight well. Amazingly well. While she was fairly fit, and she’d developed a pretty good routine with weights, it hardly seemed fair to classify anything she had as muscular next to him. Not when his biceps seemed to be as big around as her waist was. He’d wanted to measure them once to find out, but she hadn’t wanted to find out, afraid it might be true.

The Cadillac Escalade started smoothly. She’d ridden in this car before. The last time she’d joked that she could just rent it since it was nearly as big as the town house he let her stay in. It was roomy and comfy, just enough to draw her into much needed sleep. But Sasha’s phone rang, and Kallie willed herself awake. No way in hell was she missing a single word of whatever one-sided conversation would take place next.

“Yallo.”

His tone was friendly, impossible to decipher. It was a stupid word to use, and at one time she might have laughed about it, teasing him for his thick accent. Right now, though, her focus had gone south fast. No more indulging in little fantasies about biceps and the way his aftershave absolutely destroyed her, leaving her weak in the knees. No, she was straining with every fiber of her being, trying to hear the other side of the conversation. Of course, all without looking like she was listening at all. She stared out her window, twisting an errant strand of hair around her finger, knowing she was destroying her ponytail but not really caring.

He was talking to another woman.

The question was who.

She couldn’t make out the words. Only the sound, higher-pitched than most men would be; though, to be fair, some men had higher voices. No, this had to be a woman, otherwise why would his voice soften as he responded. Not only female, then, but someone who meant something to him.

It hurt. It hurt like hell. And she couldn’t say a single thing about it. She’d given up that right two days ago when this whole train wreck was set in motion.

Why do I keep going back and forth on this? I go between arousal and awareness, to blind fury. Do I love him or hate him? Am I trying to get away? Or trying to get back? She had no idea. Either way, she needed to hear this conversation. Whatever Sasha did impacted her. That made his conversations her business. Didn’t it?

It was a weak justification, but she ran with it all the same.

“What?”

One single word. That’s all it took to leave her feeling positively scorched. Seriously? What gives? He never used that sweet tone on me.

“No. Okay.”

In what had to be the shortest conversation in the world, she’d gone from insanely jealous to burning mad. Especially as he turned off the phone and dropped it in the center console and turned the wheel, making a sudden U-turn in the middle of the street. Nope, no asking old girlfriend Kallie if she had something going on or if some extra errand was going to inconvenience her any. Typical Sasha. Assuming she had no place to be, and all day to get there.

You realize that’s not going to change if you don’t call him on it. Set some boundaries. Say something!

But she didn’t. He was driving with such intensity that she didn’t dare say a word. One thing was for certain: They weren’t heading back to the bakery.

In another minute I’m going to be sick.

She’d always gotten car sick easily. This kind of abrupt turn, followed by the quick rise in speed over the bumpy road, was going to be her undoing unless she said something soon. She imagined what it would be like to vomit all over the interior of Sasha’s beautiful car, and though the revenge part held a certain appeal, being sick sounded a whole lot worse. Besides, why punish a car for what the asshole driver was doing.

She shifted slightly, trying to breath carefully to ease the nausea. The last thing she wanted to do was say anything. To beg him to slow down at least. It would be weak, and she needed to show him that she wasn’t weak.

Idiotic maybe. But not weak.

Thankfully he parked, making the point moot, though the way he slammed into the parking space jolted her enough that this time she had to sit up, just to ease the strain against the seatbelt. Besides, pretending to be asleep was juvenile.

He yanked the parking brake and reached across her to take something out of the glove box. “Stay put.”

She closed her eyes and counted to six hundred.

The door opened on the driver’s side. “Do you hear me?”

“Yes.” She opened her eyes and sighed. Seriously, she needed to get her head on straight. Maybe this was an opportunity to do just that. Whoever he was stopping to see had his full attention right now. It made her jealous as hell not knowing who he was going in to see, or what this whole mess was about. It also made her mad as hell that she was jealous at all.

You’re the one who ended this whole relationship. Remember?

She watched through the window as Sasha climbed a handful of steps to the door of an old and dingy red brick apartment building. The neighborhood was equally worn, with several houses in various stages of disrepair. On the corner was an old storefront, the windows boarded over and covered with graffiti.

None of the places Sasha frequented were exactly good neighborhoods.

She sighed, and made sure the doors were locked. At least it was daylight. She’d be scared out of her mind to stay out here at night. Sasha stood at the doorway, talking through an intercom it looked like. Kallie stared at the waist of his pants, at the gun obviously concealed there. A gun. It’s what he had taken out of the glove box.

She wondered if every car he drove held weapons. Were any of them even legal?

She held her breath, hating this aspect of Sasha’s personality. Whatever this was, it was dangerous. And hopefully would be over quick.

Behind her came the sound of an approaching motorcycle. She saw it in the side mirror when she turned her head, sleek and black. Something about this didn’t feel right. Why was the street so deserted? And why was the motorcycle slowing down? She watched as the bike swerved into the space in front of Sasha’s, parking a few feet in front of the Cadillac. Kallie played possum, sitting very still and hoping not to be noticed as the rider jumped off. To her surprise, the tight leathers the rider wore revealed her to be a woman. A woman with an ample chest and, when she took off her helmet, a thick braid of caramel-colored hair that fell nearly to her waist. Kallie’s breath caught in her chest. The woman was absolutely gorgeous, and Sasha had a thing for long hair. It’s what had drawn him to Kallie in the first place—her own cascade of nearly white hair.

But hers would never braid that thickly. Kallie couldn’t help but imagine her with the hair falling loose about her shoulders. It would lay like a cloak over the woman’s shoulders and back.

The woman dropped the helmet on the bike and moved quickly across the sidewalk, her boots making sharp staccato sounds as she headed for the same building. Sasha had long since disappeared. Was he meeting this woman here... or worse? Was she coming to surprise him?

Kallie sat up. What if he were in danger?

“There you are. Are you set?”

It was Sasha’s voice, low and affectionate. He’d stepped out onto the steps in front of the building, with such a welcoming smile that Kallie felt her heart wrench in her chest.

.

“Yeah, I think so,” the woman said, shoving at several errant wisps of hair that kept blowing into her eyes. “Thanks for everything.”

“Let’s have a look around, then.”

Kallie’s eyes burned with unshed tears. Not only was he with another woman, but he was taking care of her. The way he used to take care of her. Of course, he had a generous nature; it’s part of what made him so attractive to her. But she’d always thought the way he’d tended her was something maybe... well... special. That he looked out for her in a way he didn’t for anyone else. Sure, he might have had an inconsiderate side sometimes, but he’d always seen to her needs, like the food in her refrigerator. He often knew what she needed before she did. All of that had been his silent way of telling her that he loved her. Or so she’d thought.

Obviously, that was a lie.

So, she sat there in silence, tortured in ways she hadn’t even been able to imagine yesterday. She’d never known it could hurt like this, this whole letting go thing.

Shit-faced. I intend to get absolutely shit-faced drunk as soon as I get home. If this is the way he’s going to be with me, then I can do that much. Especially if he’s going to keep me around like this until that whole damn bakery is resolved.

It was a stupid resolve, but it gave her something to think about while she waited for him. In the course of ten minutes, she’d amused herself by creating different mixed drinks in her mind, trying to remember just what liquor was in the cabinet. She was giving herself extra points for creativity with added bonuses for figuring out the cocktail with the highest alcohol content by the time he got back.

In that time Sasha and the woman had disappeared inside, and the only movement on the street had been a kid on a skateboard, and a woman walking a very large dog that snarled as it passed the car. The woman had given Kallie a suspicious glare that left Kallie cringing a little against the seat, wishing that Sasha would just hurry up with whatever he was doing.

Instead, he seemed to have no problem at all with keeping her waiting indefinitely.

They’re probably having sex, she thought miserably, and slumped in the seat, not even caring anymore about the neighborhood even though it would be starting to get dark soon. Numb. She would be numb to it. I don’t care. If I keep saying that enough, I’ll eventually believe it.

So far it wasn’t working.

She stared out the car window. Another motorcycle pulled up and parked behind the smaller one.

This time the rider definitely wasn’t a woman. It was a guy who looked every bit the part of a biker. Tall, with broad shoulders that strained at his t-shirt, long hair gathered at the nape of his neck, he moved with the grace of something exotic. Something wild. Tattoos crawled out from under his t-shirt, snakes that wrapped around his forearms and ended at the palms of his hands. His eyes were sharp, alert. He saw her, noted her as nothing even remotely threatening, though he nodded in her direction as he dismounted the bike and headed up the sidewalk. She stared at the heavily muscled arms, watched the way he moved, like a fighter, and realized that this man would be a match for Sasha.

The biker glanced at her again as he strode past, by some chance looking her dead in the eye. Kallie recoiled as if slapped, letting out a small shriek. His eyebrows shot up, like she’d done something weird, and he stopped to look at her, shaking his head when her cheeks flamed scarlet, and she wished she could just crawl under the dash and just hide.

He studied her a bit before heading up the steps to the building. Kallie buried her face in her hands and wondered why she didn’t just die now and be done with it.

Until she started thinking about it. That biker had been huge. What if he had something to do with that woman? Like was maybe her boyfriend or something? Sasha could be in real trouble. Kallie’s stomach tied itself up into tiny knots. She couldn’t breathe. What if that man caught Sasha with the woman biker? Would there be a brawl? She remembered the gun. What if the biker had one, too?

Aware that she was working herself into a panic attack, Kallie scrambled out of the car. Her hands shook as she shut the door behind her. Behind every door, at every window in this neighborhood, was a potential enemy. Was she being watched right now? It was too unsafe out here. She felt too exposed.

Needing to not be alone she dashed up the steps, trying to catch up to the biker, though who knew what she would do if she caught him. Was she trying to save Sasha or herself?

She joined him on the small stoop. The biker looked at her again, like she was nuts. Right now, she agreed with the assessment.

Sasha pushed out the main door of the apartment building just as the biker was about to go in. To Kallie’s surprise and relief, the big guys smiled at the sight of one another. They bumped fists, shook hands, and hugged, talking rapidly in Russian the whole time.

Surprisingly, when they weren’t standing next to each other, Kallie would have sworn the men were the same size. The biker was an enormous guy by any standards, but Sasha dwarfed him. He was a couple inches taller, and broader all around. Looking at them together, she felt stupid. Not only for doubting that Sasha could hold his own in a fight with this guy, but also because she had no real reason to be there. Whatever half-formed plans to rescue Sasha she’d had, had fled now. In fact, if anything, she was kind of mad that she’d been about to jump in, doing that crap enabling thing she’d hated when she’d seen it in other women. Why was it her job to save her ex from the bullies, or imagined bullies of the universe? Even to the point of giving him a heads up when they were banging (or maybe banging) other women?

Could she get more pathetic?

Kallie turned on her heel and headed back towards the Cadillac. Of course, Sasha didn’t so much as acknowledge her. What a comedown. A few days ago, he would have called her to his side and positively flaunted her in front of other men. Sure, it was juvenile, but she had to admit it had felt pretty good when he’d done that. She’d been something to be proud of.

Now she was... what exactly?

She was almost to the car when he called to her.

“Hey!”

Sharp, imperious, she knew it was an order. To disobey would be unimaginable. He sounded angry, which he had every right to be. He’d told her to stay in the car. She wasn’t in the car. It was that simple.

She turned, opening her mouth, trying to come up with some cock and bull story that he would buy, only he never gave her a chance. Instead, he leveled her with a look, brows coming down in such deep disappointment that it far surpassed any lecture he could have come up with.

He crooked his finger, motioning for her to come stand next to him.

She rolled her eyes. This wasn’t going to be good. She stomped back over to his side, hoping he wouldn’t interrogate her in front of his friend. The only thing that could make this even better was if the woman she’d seen earlier actually came out and watched while he gave her whatever dressing down he had in mind.

And why do you let him have this amazing power over you?

She had no answer for that.

It was super awkward to stand next to him. He placed his hand on her hip and repositioned her closer to him, while he stood and listened intently as the biker rattled on and on about stuff she didn’t know about. All the time that she’d known Sasha, she’d never met any of his friends. Apparently, this was one of them. Not that he introduced her. It seemed he was intent to keep her from meeting them still.

She’d left Sasha because common sense said to, but all these deep feelings confused her. They had, at least for Kallie, a once in a lifetime physical chemistry that had at one time signaled for Kallie to being true love. She constantly needed to do the math as to why leaving him had been the smart thing to do. This was one of those times that helped her remember that sometimes Sasha could be a real jerk. Here he was, going on and on about some fun thing he had done with this guy while she and Sasha had been a thing—and she’d never known about any of it. He’d kept even that much of his life private from her.

How was that supposed to make her feel?

So, she discovered a new hurt in not even knowing any of his friends, nor in being allowed to truly know them now. She sighed and glanced down the street, bored and wanting to leave. Okay, maybe it was always her first impulse when the shit hit the fan, but she’d had enough drama for a while and this constant heartache was just getting too unbearable. If she stayed there much longer she was going to cry again and, honestly, she’d had quite enough tears for one day.

She shifted from one foot to the other, testing the waters. Sure enough, Sasha’s hand pressed her back towards him, guiding her to where he wanted her to be. There was a time that hand on her hip would have left her so electrified that she wouldn’t have been able to think straight. Now it just felt heavy and possessive. What about her? What if she’d wanted him to be somewhere else, somewhere closer. Or further away?

I’ve had enough.

“I’m going to go sit in the car,” she said.

He turned to her, his face pleasant enough, but Kallie could no longer read him. She’d thought they had this rare psychic connection that allowed them to anticipate the other. In bed, that had certainly been the case. Sasha had sent a signal to her from the very first day they met that had them tearing it up way too soon. But then, sex with him was so delicious Kallie couldn’t resist it.

“Okay,” he said, and extended his powerful arm beyond her to unlock the car with the remote.

Kallie nodded to the biker even though they still hadn’t been introduced, though she guessed that maybe that was kind of a sticky area. How do you introduce someone in this situation? As an ex-girlfriend? As just a friend? A business associate? For all she knew, this ‘sweetheart’ he’d talked to on the phone was some woman that this biker knew as Sasha’s actual girlfriend. So, anything personal would have seemed strange and out of place. And ‘business associate’ would call up too many other questions. Sasha didn’t like talking about his business to anyone.

Or at least to her. Maybe he did talk about business to other people. Lots of other people. She was coming to find out she didn’t really know him at all, and it left her floundering, like he was more of a stranger than she’d thought.

Wrapped up in too many dark thoughts, she headed down the walkway to the car. She could hear Sasha wrap up his conversation. He stutter-stepped to catch up with her, for reasons she didn’t understand. If she didn’t rate an introduction, why did they need to walk together?

He held the car door for her and Kallie let him. He leaned over to catch her eye. She couldn’t keep from sulking. All she could think of was the beautiful younger woman he had walked into the apartment building with.

Being Sasha, of course he read her mind. “What’s the matter? Did you think that I was fucking her?”

His graphic language shook her in a good way. She’d always loved when he talked dirty. And his nasty tone set her heart to racing, even though she knew very well that this was no ‘play’ nastiness on his part. He meant it, and she needed to remember that. So, she said nothing at all, which seemed the safest bet in this circumstance.

He leaned in to open the door for her when she didn’t answer. “Not even close,” he said softly. He sounded almost sincere. Maybe even reassuring. “She’s his girlfriend. He’s a business associate.” He shrugged, and waited for her to get into the car. “Okay?”

Kallie couldn’t answer. She wanted to believe him, but wasn’t sure if she ought to. She hated this paranoid feeling she’d been carrying with her since this whole mess began. He shut the door, and she snuggled down in the seat, loving the way the plush leather embraced her, taking that comfort when she had so little else to hold on to right now.

They pulled up in front of the townhouse only minutes later. She wondered why he hadn’t brought her home first if they were so close. What was he trying to prove? For a minute she thought about making him help her into the house. She’d tell him she was weak from hunger, since there was no food in the place. Let him feel guilty for not taking care of her.

But then he would. Reluctantly. Resentfully. Food would show up, and then what would she have really proved?

He came around and opened the door for her the way he always had. Sasha would forever be a gentleman, wouldn’t he? She got out of the car awkwardly, and stood next to him on the pavement without moving. Without getting out of the way of the door so that he could close it.

“Look...” She lifted her head, and forced herself to look Sasha in the eye. He liked when people were direct with him, so she’d be direct. That much she could do. “Can we at least have a conversation? I fucked up. But –”

“No,” he said with finality. “You had a chance to have a conversation. I was all ears for you. You can take any action you want. You know that. I do what needs to be done. But there are consequences.”

This statement made Kallie’s blood boil. She lifted her chin, forgetting that she’d been trying to open a discussion and avoid this argument entirely. “Bullshit! You ruined... not ruined... decimated my business, my relationship with the man I was going to marry, my reputation, and you got zero consequences. I fuck up ONCE and cost you nothing, and I don’t even get a sit-down?”

“So, I stand here while you have a tantrum, then think you can crawl back to me as soon as the air is clear?”

Anger filled her in great, stormy waves. She embraced it, let it flow through her veins until she felt as big and powerful as the great and mighty Sasha himself. “Well, what do you know? I think you cured me. I think I’ll live now. I don’t need you after all, imagine that. NOR WILL I.” She brushed past him, heading for the door. “You can leave now. You said you would see me home. Well, I’m home. Text me the number of the lawyer. I don’t need my daddy to take care of business. I’ll handle it. I’ll get me out of this fucking bakery. I’ll sign over everything to ‘sweetheart’. I never want to see you again.”

“Yeah, until you do,” he said, sneering at her.

She spun around and plowed into him. It was like ramming into a brick wall. She tweaked her shoulder which, knowing her luck, was going to hurt a whole lot worse later on.

He gripped her firmly at the shoulders. “I said don’t do that stuff,” he warned in a low voice. “I’m a big guy. I can take it unless you get lucky and land one the right way. But it pisses me off, and neither of us wants that to happen.”

He was holding her. Dammit, he was holding her, and it felt good. He smelled good, like Sasha. This nearness was going to be her undoing. For that tiny blinding instant, a wall of emotion crested within her. She wanted to bury herself in his arms, to bury her face against that massive chest and listen to his heart pounding just beneath her cheek.

“I gotta be alone, Sasha...” she said, desperately trying to twist free.

But he stepped forward instead, his arms coming around her in the way that he used to hold her, back when they were an ‘us.’

His lips pressed her hair, and just when the past few days were beginning to seem like a bad dream he stopped. “I’m not ready to do this,” he said, and to her surprise his voice sounded... sad. Desperate. As though he felt it, too. Every last thing that she did. “You aren’t the only one here who has been hurt by what you did.”

Him? Hurt?

For some reason, that had never occurred to her. The great Sasha, always in control... was... human?

I thought he was a player.

“I’m sorry,” she said, confused and unsure now that this new thought had captured her attention. “I didn’t think I could talk to you. I saw drugs in the delivery bag and I thought it was happening all over again. I wanted to talk to you, but I reasoned myself out of it. I’m tired of the drama. This isn’t who I want to be.” She stepped away from him and put her hand on the doorknob, looking almost blindly for escape. “I’ll order from Oscar’s and go to bed. And I’ll take the bus tomorrow.”

“I’ll send the car.” His tone was apologetic. His eyes sad.

“No.” She laughed. “It’s like night and day. I guess your staff got the memo that I’m out, so they aren’t the least bit nice to me. Not that I blame him any. It has to be weird, driving around the boss’ ex-girlfriend.” She shook her head. “I’d rather take the bus.”

“He’ll be nice tomorrow.”

And he would be, too. Sasha had a way of making that kind of promise stick.

Which also made her wonder how much things worked in the opposite direction. For all she knew, a similar ‘memo’ had been given out recently, which had created the problem in the first place. It would be just like him to tell the staff to treat her unkindly.

Kallie’s eyes connected with his, but she could no longer read what was there. Shaking her head, she opened the door and slipped inside, closing it firmly behind herself and locking it for good measure.

Only then did she allow herself to fall, dropping into the nearest chair, holding her head in her hands.

Dammit, but Sasha drove her crazy.