Chapter 23
Eve
It was time to load up and move out. I hadn't given it a couple days as Cassidy had asked. I couldn't, not after receiving that photo of Faith smooching Joshua. Not because I thought he'd actually do anything with her, no, he was as allergic to her as I was. It was just a reminder that we'd never be rid of her, even if we were a couple.
Faith would endeavor to make my life difficult, and I'd run out of steam. I didn't have the fight left in me to fight for not only Joshua, but myself as well. After all, I'd spent years fighting for both Bryan and I, and that had ended in nothing but sadness and betrayal.
I needed to keep what little piece of self-preservation I had intact and run before this feeling, this craving for him, overran my senses.
I looked around my living room at the fully packed boxes and capped the magic marker. I'd just finished scrawling another label across the top of it - more kitchen stuff. I dumped the marker in my open handbag on top of the sofa. That'd come with the apartment and belonged to the butcher's wife.
It was one less thing to worry about taking with me. I swallowed and ran my thumb over my bottom lip. So, this was it, then, this was the end of the line for me and Hope Creek and...
My cell phone burst into song – “To the Left” by Beyoncé - and I snatched it out and answered, "Hello?"
"Tell me you've changed your mind," Cassidy said. "Please?"
"I have to go, Cassie, you know I do," I said. "The longer I stay, the worse this will get." I'd already mentally prepared myself for the fact that I had to go in and confront Faith one last time. It went against every professional grain in my body to just leave a job without actually quitting, and technically that hadn't happened yet.
"Just a couple more days," my friend groaned. "It's going to be Charlie's birthday soon, and we really wanted you to be here for the party."
"Don't do this to me," I said, "please?"
Cassie sighed on the other end of the line. "At least, come see us before you leave. Come say goodbye. Charlie's already asked me about you this morning. For some weird reason, the child has gotten it into her head that you're getting married."
"What?"
"I know," Cassidy said. "There's no way she could've overheard us last night, and even if she had, we didn't say anything remotely related to that. She keeps hugging that bear Joshua won for her at the fair, too."
"Wow," I replied. "If this is your last-ditch attempt to go back on my decision, Cas–"
"I swear, it's not. She's really acting like this. Look, I think she might've overheard all the talk about you leaving. Would you come see us before you leave?" Cassidy asked. "Please?"
"Of course," I replied. "Of course, I will. I wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye properly, and I'm going to stay in touch. You know that, right? I won't just leave and never call again."
"I know," Cassie said, but sighed again, a breath laden with concern. "I just get the feeling that if you do go, that will be it. We won't see you again. You're the first real friend I've had in years, Eve. Maybe the first real friend ever."
"I know. I will see you again. All of you. Mama and Charlie, too. Look, I've got to go. I have to deal with Faith sometime, and I'd rather get it over with sooner rather than later." The boxes around the apartment wouldn't load themselves into my truck.
"All right," Cassie said. "See you soon."
"See ya." I hung up and stowed the cell phone back in my handbag. I stared at it for a minute. Marriage and that darn teddy bear, and Joshua still on my mind. And now, I had to go see Faith and ask her for my last paycheck before I left. And quit. I had to quit, too.
That was the part I dreaded the most. Faith would probably throw another grand scale tantrum and embarrass me and herself. But what did I have to be afraid of, really? She couldn't do anything to hurt me. All she'd likely do was laud it over me that I'd walked away from Hope Creek and Joshua.
I clenched my fists and shook the thoughts free. "Come on. Let's get this done." I scooped up a box and carted it out to my truck downstairs. Packing everything up was slow going and it gave me ample time to doubt myself over and over again.
Flashes of my time with Joshua came back to me. Nothing sexual, but the way he smiled, and the taste of his lips, and the scent of his cologne on my skin the day after we'd been together. God, I'd have to wash my PJs a million times to get rid of that smell.
I packed the boxes in, one by one, as neatly as possible. Thoughts about Joshua turned to thoughts about Bryan, and then to memories of my mother and the warnings she'd given me about men and the heart.
I stood at the back of my truck, shut my eyes and lost myself in that memory.
Soft sobbing emanated through my bedroom wall, and I turned over in bed, blinking in the dark. The sound had come from my mother's room. I slipped out of bed and padded across the ice-cold wooden boards, out into the hall and toward Mom's closed door.
I knocked once, my small fist making enough noise to wake Grandma. I winced.
"Who is it?" my mother croaked.
"Mommy? Are you okay? I heard crying."
"I'm fine, sweetheart."
"Can I come in? I don't want to sleep on my own. It's dark." They'd cut out power yesterday afternoon, but Mom would get it back on again soon. She always did.
"Come," my mother said.
I opened the door and entered. Her cheeks were red, her eyes puffy, but I didn't mention it. I didn't want to make her feel worse. "Are you okay, Mommy?"
"I'm fine, darling, come here," she said, and opened her arms to me.
I gave her a hug and she squeezed me tight, enveloping me in that comforting smell of rose petals and soap. "I'm fine as long as I have you," she said, then pulled me back and studied me at arm's length. "Remember something, Eve. We only have each other. And one day when I'm gone, you'll only have yourself."
"When you're gone?"
"Not now. Later," she said, and smoothed my hair. It was only two months until my eleventh birthday, and I couldn't imagine a life without my mother and grandma. "Later on, when you're all grown up. When you're a strong young woman."
"Yes?" I asked, uncertainly.
"I won't be around to help you anymore and neither will your grandmother. You're going to have to look after yourself. And you have to remember that you're important. You're good. You're worth more than you'll ever know." She pressed her fist to my heart. "Eve, you're special. Just like every other woman is special. Promise me, you won't let anyone take that away from you. Not friends or boys. What you have in here?" She pressed a little harder, but not hard enough to hurt. "That's the most important thing in the world."
"What is it?" I looked down at her fist.
"Your soul, baby. Your heart and soul. Who you are. Nobody can take that away from you."
I snapped back to the present, to my grown body, hands still on top of the box of 'kitchen stuff' and swallowed down tears. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I wasn't sure if it was for me or my mother, that apology.
I felt I'd let her down in a sense. I'd let myself go with Bryan. I'd put her advice aside and made my mistakes, and consequently learned the lessons she'd wanted to protect me from. And I was about to make the same ones again. Or was I?
I couldn't work out whether this was a new mistake, and one I'd regret for the rest of my life. I looked up at the apartment door, then shook my head. It was too late to turn back now. I'd already told Mr. and Mrs. Lemon that I was on my way out. No doubt, they'd already started searching for a replacement tenant.
I left memories of my childhood by the car and jogged back up to the apartment.
Strangely, the place looked even smaller now that it was empty. I grabbed the keys off the counter, slung my handbag over my shoulder, then left the apartment behind and slapped the door shut behind myself.
I hurried down the stairs and entered the butcher's place, wrinkling my nose at the scent of raw meat and fat. It was a smell I'd never grown accustomed to, in all my time living above the place.
"There you are, dear," Mrs. Lemon said, and elbowed her husband in the ribs. "I told you she'd be down to give us the keys soon."
"Uh-huh." Mr. Lemon didn't do much but grunt and cut meat into palatable sizes. He nodded to me, then walked back toward the mincer at the back of the store. He'd already started work on a leg of beef.
"Here are the keys, Mrs. Lemon," I said, and handed them over. "Thanks so much for letting me stay in the apartment. It was wonderful." A total over exaggeration, but without the place, I would've been in deep shit.
"Oh, you're most welcome, dear. We're sad to see you go," she said, then looked at her husband. "Aren't we sad to see her go, dear?" she yelled.
"Uh-huh." Mr. Lemon grunted. He had a face and nose reminiscent of a pig.
"Are you sure you have to leave?" Mrs. Lemon asked. "You've been a dream tenant. Hardly any noise at all during the day and no complaints from the neighbors at night. I'll be hard-pressed to replace you. I haven't found anyone yet, in case you were wondering."
"I'm sorry I gave you such short notice."
Mrs. Lemon waved her hands at me, wafting over the smell of meat and spices. "It's no trouble. I understand that emergencies do arise, even in a town like Hope Creek. I hear you had a bit of a fight with Faith Stone. She's a horrible woman, isn't she, dear?"
"Uh-huh."
Much more of this and I might lose my mind. I had to go see Faith. The mention of her brought that right to the front of my mind. I opened my mouth to say goodbye and thank you, again.
"You sure you can't stay, Eve, dear?"
"Yeah, I have to go. I'm sorry, Mrs. Lemon, but thank you for everything. Thank you both." They'd offered to give me the sofa free of charge, but it didn't feel right to take advantage of their hospitality. "I hope you both have a wonderful rest of the summer."
"Uh-huh."
I waved, then let myself out into the morning sunlight. I turned my face to it and baked myself in the glow for a minute. Sometimes, at moments like this, I could swear it was my mother smiling down at me from above.
I hoped what I was about to do would make her proud.